Head Strong (a beyblade story)

Poll: What do you think of this story? (other than the typo's)

One Star: A moderator should wipe this thread
18.18%
2
Two Stars: Mediocre
0%
0
Three Stars: Decent
0%
0
Four Stars: Good, needs a little work
36.36%
4
Very Good, keep it going
45.45%
5
Total: 100% 11 vote(s)
Oh, and, Dracovianauis, I might need to change your characters age to about 15, if thats alright. Please PM if thats alright or not. Thanks. And general readers, due to lack of wifi, as stated above, and tons of honors class homework, I won't have the FOURTH, yes I know FOURTH part of Chapter Four done until about Monday, March 7th, (and for reference, I live in the U.S.A. so, that for the time difference. And thanks to everybody who posted and gave out ideas! I encourage you guys to write your own stories! Thanks again!

-BassFornax....And for refernce, when i say Bass its like base, not like the bass kinda fish...
uhh bassfornax, i have a lenghtly list of character in a team, do you want me to PM them or post the here?
Hey guys, so I had a band festival today at my school, so I couldn't post...it ended at 9:30 pm, and I didn't want to stay up...it'll be up tomorrow...sorry.
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you got some mispelling,here are some
1.earliar
2.teeshirt,it should be t-shirt,but its ok

anyways nice!
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get well soon!
This post has been cleaned up, and revamped.

The two remaining characters will be added when I can. This currently is chapter... 5. Sorry, but I have also lost access to my YouTube account, and who ever stole it has deleted it. Sorry. Thanks WBO members!
YOUR BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!and a awesome story,too!
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Hey! You're back! Feelin' any better?
Looking forward to see what is the 4D version if Cygni!
Sorry, no free time with school starting up again.

(ok, I have to admit, some of you guys, like XwailingX were great with entries and gave me a lot to work with, and Cygni's new 4D form, I really wish they make a bey like, cause personally think it's awesome).

The remained of this post has been move to the beggining of the thread.
i like this, its really good
I Have a Charcter
Name:Andrew Tortagami
Bey: Ray Dragonis 100RSF (Evolves into Blitz Dragonis 90RF)
Character Description: Andrew is a very smart and funny guy. He is never afraid to crack a witty pun from time to time. He is the new kid in town and is looking to make friends. He is a very caring friend but is battle serious.
Appearance: He has Long Shaggy brown hair Blue eyes. A Black T-shirt and has a red wristband on his right wrist. he wears blue jeans with red and white shoes.
Gear: He Uses a basic black Launcher grip with a red beylauncher.
Bey Description: Dragonis is a dragon. and the clear wheel is red.
Special Move: Dragon Blaze Double Strike (Dragonis becomes a ball of fire and hits the opposing bey sending it flying. It then jumps up following the other bey then smashing it to the stadium floor. This move applies for the original form.)
Evolution Special Move: Blazing Dragon Barrage (Dragonis becomes a giant ball of flame and circles around the other bey, like poison serpent and hits the bey sending flying into the air for a stadium out.
P.s He's a good guy and he's 13
can i do a charecter request?
name: raylon
age:16
red eyes, black hair, black jeans, brown boots, silver shirt with black gloves and strange arm tattoos.
bey: disaster imperion SD170WF spike disk 170 has a ring of black spikes around it.
its bottom is a black wide flat. disaster is like dark but thicker with more space inbetween blades so that it has a smash attack. clear wheel is crimson with a chain pattern. face is black and shows a hooded skeletal gohst.
the guy is evil and randomly appears, defeating strong bladers with his dark move- disasterus destruction.

i liked your story! please consider useing my charecter.
First off the bat. Kid Driger and pegasusmaster, I like your character, but I have a few little changes that I would like your opinion on.
Kid Driger: I would to change the Bey name from Ray Dragonis to Lash Drakon not to impose a copyright on the manga/anime/hobby. And when it evolves, I would like it to be Edge Drakon. Lash as a metal wheel is similar to Ray, but it has no gaps and the contact points are smoother, and have a slight incline, adding upper attack. Edge mirrors blitz because it is made up of three sections, that are split into a a metal frame and core, no pc frame. The section are composed of three sideways teeth shapes, and the third is larger than the other. These three larger 'teeth' are part of the core, and can be placed at the front or back of the sections, by removing and rotating the core. I hope those changes are okay. Drakon can still represent the Draco constellation, but I prefer not to use Dragonis.

pegasusmaster, Disaster Imperion is great, but the metal wheel needs to be a 4D wheel, so I thought that maybe itsteadof resembling dark, it might resemble Hell, but the three tri sections are smoother, and have a large jagged edge at the end to offer more smash attack, and this end can be removed and then replaced to sit below the other contact points, allowing for more ability to ko lower beys. And Imperion is going to represent the constellation Ophiuchus, the serpent holder. Please let me know if these changes are ok.

If I get warned by a moderator or advanced member for this I'm sorry, but this need to be put up, other than at the begining.
I have really like the the characters that you guys have posted, and so far, all of them will be used, but I need to make something clear.

ALL BEY IDEAS MUST BE BASED ON A CONSTELLATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That's been the rule for beyblades since Metal Fight hit the public, and I prefer if it were kept that way, or use ROMAN GODS, like how Jupiter, and Kronos representing Saturn.

Ideas------the Constellations Lepus, Octans, Sextans, and Recticulum, have been reserved, so don't use them.

Roman Gods

Mercury, Pluto, Mars, Venus, Vesta, Neptune, Ceres, Faunus, and Ulysses.


Constellations

Ara, Centaurus, Crater, Dorado, Grus, Vela, Tucana, Equuleus

And I am only accepting one more protagonist and one more antagonist, and if the beys are not based on constellations, or Roman gods, they will not be accepted.




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(Sep. 02, 2011  4:42 AM)BassFornax Wrote: First off the bat. Kid Driger and pegasusmaster, I like your character, but I have a few little changes that I would like your opinion on.
Kid Driger: I would to change the Bey name from Ray Dragonis to Lash Drakon not to impose a copyright on the manga/anime/hobby. And when it evolves, I would like it to be Edge Drakon. Lash as a metal wheel is similar to Ray, but it has no gaps and the contact points are smoother, and have a slight incline, adding upper attack. Edge mirrors blitz because it is made up of three sections, that are split into a a metal frame and core, no pc frame. The section are composed of three sideways teeth shapes, and the third is larger than the other. These three larger 'teeth' are part of the core, and can be placed at the front or back of the sections, by removing and rotating the core. I hope those changes are okay. Drakon can still represent the Draco constellation, but I prefer not to use Dragonis.

pegasusmaster, Disaster Imperion is great, but the metal wheel needs to be a 4D wheel, so I thought that maybe itsteadof resembling dark, it might resemble Hell, but the three tri sections are smoother, and have a large jagged edge at the end to offer more smash attack, and this end can be removed and then replaced to sit below the other contact points, allowing for more ability to ko lower beys. And Imperion is going to represent the constellation Ophiuchus, the serpent holder. Please let me know if these changes are ok.

If I get warned by a moderator or advanced member for this I'm sorry, but this need to be put up.
I have really like the the characters that you guys have posted, and so far, all of them will be used, but I need to make something clear.

ALL BEY IDEAS MUST BE BASED ON A CONSTELLATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That's been the rule for beyblades since Metal Fight hit the public, and I prefer if it were kept that way, or use ROMAN GODS, like how Jupiter, and Kronos representing Saturn.

Ideas------the Constellations Lepus, Octans, Sextans, and Recticulum, have been reserved, so don't use them.

Roman Gods

Mercury, Pluto, Mars, Venus, Vesta, Neptune, Ceres, Faunus, and Ulysses.


Constellations

Ara, Centaurus, Crater, Dorado, Grus, Vela, Tucana, Equuleus

And I am only accepting one more protagonist and one more antagonist, and if the beys are not based on constellations, or Roman gods, they will not be accepted.




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thats what i was thinking! thanks!Wink

Kid Driger, pegasusmaster thanks, your characters will be up soon.

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Here is a character request, Red Crimson (look at my story beyblade, hearts of dragonfire for description and moves). His bey is shot starblaze (it's a dragon) bl145fi and it's track and tip light on fire when it spins, which helps with it's move super explode where it creates an explosion with twice the power of a normal explosion
Hey BassFornax might i suggest disabling the smilies
Hey bass, It's nice to see your back Writing Smile Still liking your story, there's a lot of action in it
bbamsuv, I did read a bit of your story, and I had a little trouble depicting stuff, so heres my impresion, and changes, since it needs to be a 4D bey in this story.

The Metal wheel shot is similar to vulcan but, is composed of a Core, and Metal Frame. The smaller contact points are more refined and wider, and can be twisted, pulled out, slid around the wheel, and folded inside the metal frame, and then replaced with two small sheets of metal to form a gap less metal wheel. The BL145 track is Blaze145, and is formed by four fire shapes, sideways, forming something similar to S130. The FI (It will be called Fire Influx) bottom is formed by a ball of fire shaped piece of rubber, but is coated with a very thin coat of plastic on the outside, steading the bey when needed.

The Clear will need to be changed, and the reason begining I can no longer accept anymore dragon like beys, because I currently have one, Lash Drakon, as listed in the previous posts. The Bey needs to based off of a constellation, and there are still a few out there, or Roman gods, as Kronos and Jupiter are. The constellations left are given in previous posts.
DeX, thanks, good to see you back and reading it again!