Im totally devoted to this book... i will be updating this fortnightly...

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PROLOGUE

Spoiler (Click to View)

June 23rd 2262
My name is Andos... Thats all you need to know. I've brought a message of hope to everyone who is part of the rebellion... we will strike soon and this time it will either make us or break us... years of planning are now being put into action... await further instructions... Good Luck!

"I think that transmission ran pretty smoothly..."
I looked up at Rick, my cameraman.
"I hope so, I hope so..." I replied.
I walked out of the hideout cave we were in and headed for the makeshift base we had established.
"Whats wrong?" Rick asked.
I guess he could tell by my body language that i was pissed...
"See this war," I said, "this is personal. My parents died of the Flare. I know FuzeTek caused it. For me this is more. I want to find the person who's behind the Flare. I want them to die..."

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Please tell me if this is a good idea... regardless i will be making fortnightly updates

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"What is peace, if not an illusion of war?" - Bunnii2165

CLICK THE LINKS IN BLUE!
Team iBlade|The Writers Handbook|Credit to xlr8 & Vintage|Beyblade Shoppe|Renegade Reviews

wow, exciting proluge, i would like to see more. very streight to the point making alot of things that need to be cleared up in the story, witch im sure will happen.

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yeah... im not sure whats wrong with my writing style actually :p...
I like to make it puzzling then piece the puzzle at the end of the story... anyone else like that?

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I might post a new chapter tommorow...

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"What is peace, if not an illusion of war?" - Bunnii2165

CLICK THE LINKS IN BLUE!
Team iBlade|The Writers Handbook|Credit to xlr8 & Vintage|Beyblade Shoppe|Renegade Reviews

people can i have some opinion here?

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"What is peace, if not an illusion of war?" - Bunnii2165

CLICK THE LINKS IN BLUE!
Team iBlade|The Writers Handbook|Credit to xlr8 & Vintage|Beyblade Shoppe|Renegade Reviews

Too short.

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Let the wings of hope spread to the whole world!

New story :
http://worldbeyblade.org/Thread-Yoku-s-s...ary-Hereos

Too short.

So was your post

But really, it is a little on the short side. Add something to grab our attention, or at least add some fillers.

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"Life isn't about how hard you can hit;
it's about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward"
{[YT]} [|BEYBLOG|] (â—ŠSoG-My Bookâ—Š)/<DA>\

well the idea of the transmission is pretty good, but it is pretty small, take a notch out of mine, spartas and nights books, they need to be pretty long, trust me, it will make more people read it, not much has been explained, you said you didn't know what's wrong with your writing style, it could be the length, or it could be the fact it did give you more questions than answers, but I do see a good chance of this being a successful story.

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you do know what a prologue is right.... its meant to be short...

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"What is peace, if not an illusion of war?" - Bunnii2165

CLICK THE LINKS IN BLUE!
Team iBlade|The Writers Handbook|Credit to xlr8 & Vintage|Beyblade Shoppe|Renegade Reviews

Show not tell. Yes, that. Don't tell the name, show it..... if you know what I mean.

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"You want something to happen? Make it happen."
[Novel] The Andromeda Files : The End Of Eternity

yes i know what a prologue is, but it's still very small for a prologue

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well, everyones a critic...

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"What is peace, if not an illusion of war?" - Bunnii2165

CLICK THE LINKS IN BLUE!
Team iBlade|The Writers Handbook|Credit to xlr8 & Vintage|Beyblade Shoppe|Renegade Reviews