[Fan Fiction]  The Jakkyrz Razaaz- The Banished Gods (FBW Saga)

Will Bruno and Basilisk be in this season?
(Apr. 14, 2021  3:35 PM)i'm batman Wrote: Will Bruno and Basilisk be in this season?

Yes!
whats up with the name change
(Apr. 14, 2021  11:14 PM)SSJBDoku Wrote: whats up with the name change

When I finished Season One, I put a new name. Season 2's over, so Season 3 has a new name.
Summary of Season Three:

The Dark Gods' have been freed from their old prison, now they converted themselves into bey spirits. But what is their true intentions? Their true plans? Just who truly are the Dark Gods'? Their legacy sits itself as the basis of creation itself. The Bladers who have acquired the full power of the Dark Gods' now invade at all sides. Can the Burst, MFB, and OG bladers side together and put away their differences to save their fate? Will they succeed? At what cost? Will their power be enough? What about Lane? What is his intentions? Where is Lane? Ryuga? Which side will he be on? Or will he be on his own side like usual? Lui? What will he do? And of course, the bladers who passed the test to enter the Blader Army are here as well. What is their fate?

The Three Beyblade World Alliance's plans have been discovered. But How? Is there a traitor in their midst? Who is the traitor if so?

Blood.
Betrayal.
Loss.
Power.
Revenge.
Plot.
Trickery.
Manipulation.

All in one story, combining to make suspense and a true story (not really a true story)
Sounds like a movie trailer, and it's so frickin' epic.
Chapter #1 of Season Three coming next week
Episode Names:
You know what
Takara tomy revealed that Both orignial beyblade series and beyblade burst series happen in the same universe

finally! Got indra!
Working on Episode One, but I have school today and a bunch of other things. I might release chapter today, or tommorow or maybe after a few days.
Invasion at All Sides! Prepare for War!

“Bladers with terrifying auras are approaching us! We need to act quickly!”, exclaimed Madoka. “Kai, Tyson, and Max, you three go and intercept the first three of them!”

“You’re not the boss of us. Just because you’re the Co-Leader of WBBA doesn’t mean you get to boss everyone around!”, said Tyson, jagged anger in his voice.

“So would you rather like for them to control your world and my world?”, questioned Madoka, calmly.

“We will do this by ourselves. The OG world, the one which created Beyblade, shall win this whole war!”

“What?! Are you mad?”, said Madoka angrily. “The Bladers are coming at us, about to invade us, and right now, you are thinking of this?”.

Kai, Tyson, and Max left the room, not paying attention to Madoka.

“Ah! I guess we have no choice. We need to send the Legendary Bladers and the Elite Blader Units to battle Doji’s accomplices. ”, sighed Madoka, to herself.


Twenty Minutes Later:

Gingka, Samira, Free, King, Valt, and Kenta were sent to apprehend and defeat Damain, Brooklyn, Kira, Amane, Reji, and another blader who was named Bruno.

They weren’t even trying to mask their presence. They were just heading for the WBBA, with determined expressions. They’re auras were unleashed, dark flowing auras so powerful that they felt like black holes, gravitationally pulling everything toward it.

All of them smiled at Gingka.

“You, Gingka, defeated me and humiliated me in front of the whole world, now I’ll defeat you in front of two worlds, and every blader will hear this! And of course, my Asmosdeus will destroy your Pegasus once and for all”, said Damain, pulling out his bey Asmosdeus.

Reji looked at Gingka and said, “It’ll be fun watching you beg for mercy, but I have a debt to settle with the little brat Kenta.”

Reji smiled at Kenta and said, “You’ve gotten stronger, but not for my new Deathbane Serpent.

Brooklyn looked around, trying to look for Kai or Tyson, the two he despised most.
They weren’t here.

Brooklyn looked at Free and said, “You are my opponent. I’ll quickly finish this battle so my Indra can have more snacks.”

Free scowled, but faced Brooklyn.

“Amane, Before battling you and defeating you, I would like to give you a chance for redemption. If you decline, the sword of Valtryek will cut Ashura down”, said Valt.

Amane spit at Valt’s feet.

“Bring it on.”

End of Episode.
Next Episode will come soon.
....Ohmygodthelastpartisareferencetothesacredlorelmao.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NOT VALT'S SHOES MAN
AMANE HOW COULD YOU
hmmm.
story: 4.7/5 doing good, could use a litttle bit more depth
characters: 3.9/5 ik its hard to make characters and to replicate their emotions.
storytelling: 4/5 the storytelling isnt that bad. it could be a little better but doing good.
grammars: 4.5/5 i did see tiny mistakes that didnt have any impact.

total: 17.1/20 doing good keep up the good work
(Apr. 20, 2021  9:22 PM)eggblader Wrote: hmmm.
story: 4.7/5 doing good, could use a litttle bit more depth
characters: 3.9/5 ik its hard to make characters and to replicate their emotions.
storytelling: 4/5 the storytelling isnt that bad. it could be a little better but doing good.
grammars: 4.5/5 i did see tiny mistakes that didnt have any impact.

total: 17.1/20 doing good keep up the good work

1. Did you read ALL the chapters?
2. characters? I do replicate emotions.
Storytelling: I would expected a 4.5/5 on that one lol.

(grammar's fine good)
Post next chapter soon! In a few days. Almost done.
Okay sorry. My tests are done, so I'm working on Three chapters at a time. Will be done in a day or two. Sorry for Delay. I have many things on my mind. I really want to carry this fan fic out.
Chapter Almost Done, and I changed some season 3 episode names

Episode Two: Black Hole! Universal Pull!
Episode Three: The Fallen Rises! Lord of Hell!
Episode Four: Indra! Dark God of Storms!
Episode Five: Cyclone Ashura! Demon Herald!
Episode Six: Who Do You Think You are Talking to?!
Episode Seven: Basilisk! Life Devourer!
Episode Eight: War God! Thundersword!
Episode Nine: Amaterasu! Flames of Incineration!
Episode 10: Flare Through! Flare Krios!
I'm done with the Chapter, just I'm at Someone else's house, so I can't post it here. I'll post it Monday when I'll be back home
Episode Two: Black Hole! Universal Pull!

Summary:
The two warring sides begin battling, both sides finding out each other's weaknesses, feelings, strengths and purposes. Gingka attempts to talk to Damian and his allies about the real purpose of them fighting. The Legacy of the Banished Gods starts to unfold. Will Gingka uncover the truth? Throughout the battle, Gingka pulls out his special move, Universal Pull!


(Will be posted this week, approximately tommorow)
Oh nice chapter now I’m wondering if Gingka will uncover the truth?
I'm having trouble writing this chapter. How am I supposed to describe Universal Pull? Dialouge? Those two things I'm having trouble with, also, I want this chapter to be better than the previous ones, because I re-read them and they are trash imo.
(May. 06, 2021  4:56 PM)Ryuga\s Son Wrote: I'm having trouble writing this chapter. How am I supposed to describe Universal Pull? Dialouge? Those two things I'm having trouble with, also, I want this chapter to be better than the previous ones, because I re-read them and they are trash imo.

Depends what the move does.

If going off of the name alone, I'm guessing Pegasus races around the stadium with causes the universe to collapse in on itself, and get pulled towards the stadium. Actually, you don't even need that last part. Is it literally just the universe collapsing in on itself?
(May. 06, 2021  5:44 PM)Instarez Wrote:
(May. 06, 2021  4:56 PM)Ryuga\s Son Wrote: I'm having trouble writing this chapter. How am I supposed to describe Universal Pull? Dialouge? Those two things I'm having trouble with, also, I want this chapter to be better than the previous ones, because I re-read them and they are trash imo.

Depends what the move does.

If going off of the name alone, I'm guessing Pegasus races around the stadium with causes the universe to collapse in on itself, and get pulled towards the stadium. Actually, you don't even need that last part. Is it literally just the universe collapsing in on itself?

Wait? You actually read my fan fic?

So, what actually happens is that Gingka puts his hand outward, and a black hole appears. The black hole pulls the universe toward itself, like the bey he's battling. That's orginally my thought for Universal Pull. I do need the last part. Dialouge for the chapter/episode.
(May. 06, 2021  5:51 PM)Ryuga\s Son Wrote:
(May. 06, 2021  5:44 PM)Instarez Wrote: Depends what the move does.

If going off of the name alone, I'm guessing Pegasus races around the stadium with causes the universe to collapse in on itself, and get pulled towards the stadium. Actually, you don't even need that last part. Is it literally just the universe collapsing in on itself?

Wait? You actually read my fan fic?

So, what actually happens is that Gingka puts his hand outward, and a black hole appears. The black hole pulls the universe toward itself, like the bey he's battling. That's orginally my thought for Universal Pull. I do need the last part. Dialouge for the chapter/episode.

So he makes a black hole that pulls everything towards it? Just say that he stretches' out his hands and then a large black hole forms. Then everything is pulled towards it, even the universe itself.