Review time boys

Grammar: 3.5/5, decent enough for the most part, a few mistakes every chapter but pretty good overall.
Story: 3/5, seems pretty rushed, not too much build up to moments, might have some big story but whatever stuff that does happen is always pretty rushed.
Characters: 2.5/5, characters like Valt and Lui seem out of character, very little development, and at times characters seem lifeless.
Dialogue: 2.5/5, dialogue seems lifeless a lot, hard to tell who’s saying what at times, and a lot of dialogue seems off for canon characters.
Length: 2.5/5, too short, everything is pretty rushed, not enough space to tell the story, and it just feels like a few lines. Could be shorter, could be longer.

Total: 14/25

oo, ee, ahh, that- that- that does not sound good. I will keep out for build-up moments, and I alos think that me gramer is gooder, and I only really mess up the names of Beys and stuff, but really I try to build up and that's what I really want to focus on. Could you please go a little in-depth about the build-ups? Also I thought my dialogue and characters were pretty good; someone even insisted it was good without me even bringing it up.

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HI GIVE ME MONEY

Review time boys

Grammar: 3.5/5, decent enough for the most part, a few mistakes every chapter but pretty good overall.
Story: 3/5, seems pretty rushed, not too much build up to moments, might have some big story but whatever stuff that does happen is always pretty rushed.
Characters: 2.5/5, characters like Valt and Lui seem out of character, very little development, and at times characters seem lifeless.
Dialogue: 2.5/5, dialogue seems lifeless a lot, hard to tell who’s saying what at times, and a lot of dialogue seems off for canon characters.
Length: 2.5/5, too short, everything is pretty rushed, not enough space to tell the story, and it just feels like a few lines. Could be shorter, could be longer.

Total: 14/25

oo, ee, ahh, that- that- that does not sound good. I will keep out for build-up moments, and I alos think that me gramer is gooder, and I only really mess up the names of Beys and stuff, but really I try to build up and that's what I really want to focus on. could you please go a little in-depth about the build-ups? Also I thought my dialogue and characters were pretty good; someone even insisted it was good without me even bringing it up.

alos? sorry, but chettoblader's grading is fair and good.

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Please try out my Fan Fics:
FBW saga (First Blader War)

Scion of the Legends (The Dark Forsworn Series)

Note: I'm falling apart from reading many posts from people who are leaving or are going to be inactive.

oo, ee, ahh, that- that- that does not sound good. I will keep out for build-up moments, and I alos think that me gramer is gooder, and I only really mess up the names of Beys and stuff, but really I try to build up and that's what I really want to focus on. could you please go a little in-depth about the build-ups? Also I thought my dialogue and characters were pretty good; someone even insisted it was good without me even bringing it up.

alos? sorry, but chettoblader's grading is fair and good.

No it was a joke don't you get it? I had bad grammar while I was saying I had good grammar

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Well thank you so much for the help, CheetoBlader and it really helps. I want reviews that have negitives, so I can make one of the best Fan Fics on the website

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HI GIVE ME MONEY

Review time boys

Grammar: 3.5/5, decent enough for the most part, a few mistakes every chapter but pretty good overall.
Story: 3/5, seems pretty rushed, not too much build up to moments, might have some big story but whatever stuff that does happen is always pretty rushed.
Characters: 2.5/5, characters like Valt and Lui seem out of character, very little development, and at times characters seem lifeless.
Dialogue: 2.5/5, dialogue seems lifeless a lot, hard to tell who’s saying what at times, and a lot of dialogue seems off for canon characters.
Length: 2.5/5, too short, everything is pretty rushed, not enough space to tell the story, and it just feels like a few lines. Could be shorter, could be longer.

Total: 14/25

oo, ee, ahh, that- that- that does not sound good. I will keep out for build-up moments, and I alos think that me gramer is gooder, and I only really mess up the names of Beys and stuff, but really I try to build up and that's what I really want to focus on. Could you please go a little in-depth about the build-ups? Also I thought my dialogue and characters were pretty good; someone even insisted it was good without me even bringing it up.

One random person saying something doesn’t exactly make it true, especially on this site. I can go in depth a bit more on some parts if I’m in the mood later.

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With these improvements, I cannot guarantee 1 chapter per day. I will try my hardest to, and I'll put more time into this.

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So I have a lot of stuff hitting me at one time, so I'll pause on my Fan Fic for a little bit. For how long? Not sure. Thanks for the support everyone who is following.

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HI GIVE ME MONEY

With these improvements, I cannot guarantee 1 chapter per day. I will try my hardest to, and I'll put more time into this.

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So I have a lot of stuff hitting me at one time, so I'll pause on my Fan Fic for a little bit. For how long? Not sure. Thanks for the support everyone who is following.

fine with me!

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paimon says: 
EHE TE NENDAYO    
if you dont see yellow in this signature, you need primogems.

turn your face sunny side up.

oo, ee, ahh, that- that- that does not sound good. I will keep out for build-up moments, and I alos think that me gramer is gooder, and I only really mess up the names of Beys and stuff, but really I try to build up and that's what I really want to focus on. Could you please go a little in-depth about the build-ups? Also I thought my dialogue and characters were pretty good; someone even insisted it was good without me even bringing it up.

One random person saying something doesn’t exactly make it true, especially on this site. I can go in depth a bit more on some parts if I’m in the mood later.

I want my story score to be at least 4/5 for everything.

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HI GIVE ME MONEY

no offense but id say its 2.5/5 average.

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paimon says: 
EHE TE NENDAYO    
if you dont see yellow in this signature, you need primogems.

turn your face sunny side up.

A chapter will be posted tomorrow

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HI GIVE ME MONEY

I'm sorry... it's just- I'm bored of this. I don't like the tight schedule I have of posting once a day. I do like how ya'll like the story, but I'm sorry. It is unlikely that I will post anything here again anytime soon. Someone can take over, I don't care...

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HI GIVE ME MONEY

I'm sorry... it's just- I'm bored of this. I don't like the tight schedule I have of posting once a day. I do like how ya'll like the story, but I'm sorry. It is unlikely that I will post anything here again anytime soon. Someone can take over, I don't care...

i could try.. but not evry day. i have school.

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paimon says: 
EHE TE NENDAYO    
if you dont see yellow in this signature, you need primogems.

turn your face sunny side up.

I'm sorry... it's just- I'm bored of this. I don't like the tight schedule I have of posting once a day. I do like how ya'll like the story, but I'm sorry. It is unlikely that I will post anything here again anytime soon. Someone can take over, I don't care...

i could try.. but not evry day. i have school.

So do I... I am sure you could imagine the tight schedule.

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HI GIVE ME MONEY

i could try.. but not evry day. i have school.

So do I... I am sure you could imagine the tight schedule.

you're officially quitting the fan fic?

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Please try out my Fan Fics:
FBW saga (First Blader War)

Scion of the Legends (The Dark Forsworn Series)

Note: I'm falling apart from reading many posts from people who are leaving or are going to be inactive.

So do I... I am sure you could imagine the tight schedule.

you're officially quitting the fan fic?

Officially? Not quite yet. Something i keeping me from giving this up. But I'm prob going to

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HI GIVE ME MONEY

you're officially quitting the fan fic?

Officially? Not quite yet. Something i keeping me from giving this up. But I'm prob going to

Ok Sure...I understand why you want to quit tho

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Please try out my Fan Fics:
FBW saga (First Blader War)

Scion of the Legends (The Dark Forsworn Series)

Note: I'm falling apart from reading many posts from people who are leaving or are going to be inactive.

You know you could just not force yourself to upload daily, right?

Just upload when you want, if you think a schedule helps you write, make it something like once a week, twice a week, etc.

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You know you could just not force yourself to upload daily, right?

Just upload when you want, if you think a schedule helps you write, make it something like once a week, twice a week, etc.

Well, yeah, thanks. I think that's one of the reasons this Fan Fic wasn't that good.

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HI GIVE ME MONEY

You know you could just not force yourself to upload daily, right?

Just upload when you want, if you think a schedule helps you write, make it something like once a week, twice a week, etc.

Well, yeah, thanks. I think that's one of the reasons this Fan Fic wasn't that good.

I know some people think it wasn't good, but I disagree! It's got an interesting story and plot!

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Sup Turtle
Leader of the Spryzenlightnings
I make beyblade recolors!  Check out my thread if you want one (or a few) done!
spoiler (click to view)

There's always mistakes, what we can do is make as many less mistakes as we can and try our best

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Please try out my Fan Fics:
FBW saga (First Blader War)

Scion of the Legends (The Dark Forsworn Series)

Note: I'm falling apart from reading many posts from people who are leaving or are going to be inactive.

There's always mistakes, what we can do is make as many less mistakes as we can and try our best

Exactly. That's why I want reviews so I know what I need to improve on.
I feel motivated, but every time I see that blank page, I give up.

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HI GIVE ME MONEY

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HI GIVE ME MONEY

still trying to figure out who joe is

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HI GIVE ME MONEY