Hello people hope you’ll like this fanfic and soon there’s going to be a character contest!!! Hope you’re excited for that





[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Beyblade Burst: Sparking Battle (accepting people)[/font]

[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Chapter: 1[/font]

[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]King of Flame!!! Flame Kitsune[/font]

[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif](Rey de fuego!!! Fuego Kitsune)[/font]

[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Danny: Hi Ben[/font]

[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Ben: Hi Danny[/font]

[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Danny: You know what it is today right?[/font]

[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Ben: No?[/font]

[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Danny: It’s the day that I make my DynaSpark bey[/font]

[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Ben: Awesome!!![/font]

[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif](Danny goes to his house cause school ended)[/font]

[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Danny: Dad!!![/font]

[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Dad: What son[/font]

[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Danny: Can I go to your bey room[/font]

[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Dad: Sure, but for what[/font]

[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Danny: To make my DynaSpark bey[/font]

[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Dad: Okay fine[/font]

[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Danny: Thank you dad[/font]

[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif](Danny finishes his DynaSpark bey)[/font]

[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Danny: I’m calling you Flame Kitsune[/font]

[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Danny talking to Kitsune: Kitsune[/font]

[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Kitsune: What Danny[/font]

[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Danny: I’m going to battle Ben with you[/font]

[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Kitsune: Okay[/font]

[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif](The talk is over)[/font]

[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif](Ben comes over to Danny’s house)[/font]

[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Ben: Let’s battle!!![/font]

[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Danny: Yeah[/font]

[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Danny: Meet my bey Flame Kitsune[/font]

[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Ben’s thoughts: Flame Kitsune is a dual spinning balance type that’ll do good impact attacks[/font]

[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Danny and Ben: 3, 2, 1, GO SHOOT!!![/font]

[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Danny: Go Kitsune!!![/font]

[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Ben: Go Genesis[/font]

[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Ben: Royal Scream[/font]

[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Danny: Flame Tail!!![/font]

Danny and Ben: SHOW WHO’S THE BEST BETWEEN US!!!

Danny’s sister: What is this brother?

Danny: Beyblade

Danny’s sister: Oh I remember now!!!

Danny’s sister: I’ll be ref

(Both beys ring out)

Danny’s sister: What is your bey’s name

Danny: Flame Kitsune

Danny’s sister: Simultaneous Ring out finish draw

Danny: Wow

Ben: Woah

Danny: Next time I’m going to win!!!

(The End)

Preview:

Danny: Wait I’m going to the Raging Bulls awesome!!!

???: Battle me

Danny: Ok

Danny: Next time on Beyblade Burst: Sparking Battle

Chapter: 2

The Mysterious blader VS Danny

Danny: 3, 2, 1, GO SHOOT!!!


Also the system is the DynaSpark system

Here’s an example:

Flame Kitsune. 2A. Dm-6

For the system they have high and low mode and also you can use chassis

---

If you want to see my irl face pixelated, click the following spoiler

Spoiler (Click to View)

Ok, I trolled you, but the next one is real

Spoiler (Click to View)

You're a pervert for wanting to find my irl face pixelated!

Ok I will give you some advice. Overall you have structure, I can see it going somewhere, but there is very little characterization. Also, he won his first battle. You need to power scale or this will be a very short fan-fic. It also lacks detail. We no virtualy nothing except that danny and ben are friends, they both have beys, danny can beat ben, there is a new obscure system we know nothing about, and danny has a sister.

---

If ya'll need any help, feel free to reach out to me!
"We all have different backgrounds, but we all come together to celebrate our excitement over Beyblade..."
-6Jupiter5

Ok I will give you some advice. Overall you have structure, I can see it going somewhere, but there is very little characterization.  Also, he won his first battle. You need to power scale or this will be a very short fan-fic. It also lacks detail. We no virtualy nothing except that danny and ben are friends, they both have beys, danny can beat ben, there is a new obscure system we know nothing about, and danny has a sister.

Ok I’ll update my post

---

If you want to see my irl face pixelated, click the following spoiler

Spoiler (Click to View)

Ok, I trolled you, but the next one is real

Spoiler (Click to View)

You're a pervert for wanting to find my irl face pixelated!

not bad so far, tho the font error literally makes it a pain in the {REDACTED} to read.

also you made like 6-7 threads of this.

---

PFP: Baby picture of me and one of my irl friends / ANY PRONOUNS

Ok I will give you some advice. Overall you have structure, I can see it going somewhere, but there is very little characterization.  Also, he won his first battle. You need to power scale or this will be a very short fan-fic. It also lacks detail. We no virtualy nothing except that danny and ben are friends, they both have beys, danny can beat ben, there is a new obscure system we know nothing about, and danny has a sister.

Ok I’ll update my post

Also, you made this thread like 10 times.

---

not bad so far, tho the font error literally makes it a pain in the {REDACTED} to read.

also you made like 6-7 threads of this.

do a reply to it. It will fix the error. (You dont actually have to post it)

---

If ya'll need any help, feel free to reach out to me!
"We all have different backgrounds, but we all come together to celebrate our excitement over Beyblade..."
-6Jupiter5

not bad so far, tho the font error literally makes it a pain in the {REDACTED} to read.

also you made like 6-7 threads of this.

Sorry, but can you get a staff to close the other ones and keep this one open?

---

not bad so far, tho the font error literally makes it a pain in the {REDACTED} to read.

also you made like 6-7 threads of this.

How do I delete the font error?

---

Hello people hope you’ll like this fanfic and soon there’s going to be a character contest!!! Hope you’re excited for that





[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Beyblade Burst: Sparking Battle (accepting people)[/font]

[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Chapter: 1[/font]

[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]King of Flame!!! Flame Kitsune[/font]

[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Danny: Hi Ben[/font]

[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Ben: Hi Danny[/font]

[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Danny: You know what it is today right?[/font]

[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Ben: No?[/font]

[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Danny: It’s the day that I make my DynaSpark bey[/font]

[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Ben: Awesome!!![/font]

[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif](Danny goes to his house cause school ended)[/font]

[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Danny: Dad!!![/font]

[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Dad: What son[/font]

[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Danny: Can I go to your bey room[/font]

[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Dad: Sure, but for what[/font]

[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Danny: To make my DynaSpark bey[/font]

[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Dad: Okay fine[/font]

[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Danny: Thank you dad[/font]

[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif](Danny finishes his DynaSpark bey)[/font]

[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Danny: I’m calling you Flame Kitsune[/font]

[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Danny talking to Kitsune: Kitsune[/font]

[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Kitsune: What Danny[/font]

[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Danny: I’m going to battle Ben with you[/font]

[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Kitsune: Okay[/font]

[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif](The talk is over)[/font]

[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif](Ben comes over to Danny’s house)[/font]

[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Ben: Let’s battle!!![/font]

[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Danny: Yeah[/font]

[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Danny: Meet my bey Flame Kitsune[/font]

[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Ben’s thoughts: Flame Kitsune is a dual spinning balance type that’ll do good impact attacks[/font]

[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Danny and Ben: 3, 2, 1, GO SHOOT!!![/font]

[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Danny: Go Kitsune!!![/font]

[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Ben: Go Genesis[/font]

[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Ben: Royal Scream[/font]

[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Danny: Flame Tail!!![/font]

Danny and Ben: SHOW WHO’S THE BEST BETWEEN US!!!

Danny’s sister: What is this brother?

Danny: Beyblade

Danny’s sister: Oh I remember now!!!

Danny’s sister: I’ll be ref

(Kitsune wins)

Danny’s sister: What is your bey’s name

Danny: Flame Kitsune

Danny’s sister: Flame Kitsune with a ring out finish Danny wins

Danny: Awesome

Ben: No I lost

Danny: Next time you’re going to win!!!

(The End)

Preview:

Danny: Wait I’m going to the Raging Bulls awesome!!!

???: Battle me

Danny: Ok

Danny: Next time on Beyblade Burst: Sparking Battle

Chapter: 2

The Mysterious blader VS Danny

Danny: 3, 2, 1, GO SHOOT!!!

Does anyone want to be in this fanfic?

---

Ok I’ll update my post

Also, you made this thread like 10 times.

---

not bad so far, tho the font error literally makes it a pain in the {REDACTED} to read.

also you made like 6-7 threads of this.

do a reply to it. It will fix the error. (You dont actually have to post it)

What error?

---

If you want to see my irl face pixelated, click the following spoiler

Spoiler (Click to View)

Ok, I trolled you, but the next one is real

Spoiler (Click to View)

You're a pervert for wanting to find my irl face pixelated!

not bad so far, tho the font error literally makes it a pain in the {REDACTED} to read.

also you made like 6-7 threads of this.

Sorry, but can you get a staff to close the other ones and keep this one open?

---

not bad so far, tho the font error literally makes it a pain in the {REDACTED} to read.

also you made like 6-7 threads of this.

How do I delete the font error?

---

Hello people hope you’ll like this fanfic and soon there’s going to be a character contest!!! Hope you’re excited for that





[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Beyblade Burst: Sparking Battle (accepting people)[/font]

[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Chapter: 1[/font]

[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]King of Flame!!! Flame Kitsune[/font]

[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Danny: Hi Ben[/font]

[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Ben: Hi Danny[/font]

[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Danny: You know what it is today right?[/font]

[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Ben: No?[/font]

[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Danny: It’s the day that I make my DynaSpark bey[/font]

[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Ben: Awesome!!![/font]

[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif](Danny goes to his house cause school ended)[/font]

[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Danny: Dad!!![/font]

[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Dad: What son[/font]

[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Danny: Can I go to your bey room[/font]

[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Dad: Sure, but for what[/font]

[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Danny: To make my DynaSpark bey[/font]

[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Dad: Okay fine[/font]

[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Danny: Thank you dad[/font]

[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif](Danny finishes his DynaSpark bey)[/font]

[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Danny: I’m calling you Flame Kitsune[/font]

[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Danny talking to Kitsune: Kitsune[/font]

[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Kitsune: What Danny[/font]

[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Danny: I’m going to battle Ben with you[/font]

[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Kitsune: Okay[/font]

[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif](The talk is over)[/font]

[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif](Ben comes over to Danny’s house)[/font]

[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Ben: Let’s battle!!![/font]

[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Danny: Yeah[/font]

[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Danny: Meet my bey Flame Kitsune[/font]

[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Ben’s thoughts: Flame Kitsune is a dual spinning balance type that’ll do good impact attacks[/font]

[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Danny and Ben: 3, 2, 1, GO SHOOT!!![/font]

[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Danny: Go Kitsune!!![/font]

[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Ben: Go Genesis[/font]

[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Ben: Royal Scream[/font]

[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Danny: Flame Tail!!![/font]

Danny and Ben: SHOW WHO’S THE BEST BETWEEN US!!!

Danny’s sister: What is this brother?

Danny: Beyblade

Danny’s sister: Oh I remember now!!!

Danny’s sister: I’ll be ref

(Kitsune wins)

Danny’s sister: What is your bey’s name

Danny: Flame Kitsune

Danny’s sister: Flame Kitsune with a ring out finish Danny wins

Danny: Awesome

Ben: No I lost

Danny: Next time you’re going to win!!!

(The End)

Preview:

Danny: Wait I’m going to the Raging Bulls awesome!!!

???: Battle me

Danny: Ok

Danny: Next time on Beyblade Burst: Sparking Battle

Chapter: 2

The Mysterious blader VS Danny

Danny: 3, 2, 1, GO SHOOT!!!

Does anyone want to be in this fanfic?

---

Also, you made this thread like 10 times.

---

do a reply to it. It will fix the error. (You dont actually have to post it)

What error?

Hey Dragon can I be in your book please

---

The One Piece is the friends we made a long the way.

Sorry, but can you get a staff to close the other ones and keep this one open?

---

How do I delete the font error?

---

Does anyone want to be in this fanfic?

---

What error?

Hey Dragon can I be in your book please

Ok what is your character’s name and bey?

---

If you want to see my irl face pixelated, click the following spoiler

Spoiler (Click to View)

Ok, I trolled you, but the next one is real

Spoiler (Click to View)

You're a pervert for wanting to find my irl face pixelated!

Here's my entry for the fan-fic:
Lialus (Li-Uh-Lus) Frunk
He wears a neon yellow cape with an orange T-Shirt and Shorts. He is very self obsessed and thinks that he is the best blader in the world.
His Bey is Flip Larry. He loves the name but others make fun of it. It is a single bladed bey with one HUGE blade. If you flip the layer, than it can spin left instead of right. You decide the parts.

---

If ya'll need any help, feel free to reach out to me!
"We all have different backgrounds, but we all come together to celebrate our excitement over Beyblade..."
-6Jupiter5

Paul Aoki Hydro Posiden

---

The One Piece is the friends we made a long the way.

Here's my entry for the fan-fic:
Lialus (Li-Uh-Lus) Frunk
He wears a neon yellow cape with an orange T-Shirt and Shorts. He is very self obsessed and thinks that he is the best blader in the world.
His Bey is  Flip Larry. He loves the name but others make fun of it. It is a single bladed bey with one HUGE blade. If you flip the layer, than it can spin left instead of right. You decide the parts.

Ok nice

---

If you want to see my irl face pixelated, click the following spoiler

Spoiler (Click to View)

Ok, I trolled you, but the next one is real

Spoiler (Click to View)

You're a pervert for wanting to find my irl face pixelated!

Here's my entry for the fan-fic:
Lialus (Li-Uh-Lus) Frunk
He wears a neon yellow cape with an orange T-Shirt and Shorts. He is very self obsessed and thinks that he is the best blader in the world.
His Bey is  Flip Larry. He loves the name but others make fun of it. It is a single bladed bey with one HUGE blade. If you flip the layer, than it can spin left instead of right. You decide the parts.

how the heck can a bey have one attack point-

---

current owner of IGLOO GEYSERS
*simps for Aoyama*
leaving on the 27th of may T^T
(nvm- next week-

I’ll post chapter 2 right now



Beyblade Burst: Sparking Battle

Chapter: 2

The Mysterious Blader VS Danny


(El Misterioso Blader VS Danny)

Ben: That was a nice battle right?

Danny: Right

(Danny’s Dad comes in)

Dad: Son you’re going to the raging bulls

Danny: Awesome!!!

Danny: Will Ben come too?

Dad: Yes

Ben: Yay Danny I get to come with you

(They get to the Raging Bulls)

Danny: Were here!!!

Ben: Yay

Shu: Welcome

Danny: Is that Shu Kurenai?

Shu: Yep that’s me

Ben and Danny: Awesome!!!

Shu: Battle my student

Danny: Okay nice

(They get inside)

Shu: Here’s my student Paul Aoki cousin of the good Justin Aoki

Danny: Okay

Paul: Meet my Hydro Posiden

Danny and Paul: 3, 2, 1, GO SHOOT!!!

Paul: Posiden now Hydro Launch

Danny: Flame Launch

(Posiden and Kitsune are clashing in flurry of attacks)

Danny: Kitsune!!!

Paul: Posiden!!!

(Both avatars appear)

(Kitsune starts glowing gold. Kitsune activates Fire-Flux)

(Posiden starts glowing blue. Posiden activates Water-Flux)

Paul: Hydro Blast

Danny: Flame Upper

(Both beys ring out but Posiden lands on the ground first)

Shu: Flame Kitsune wins with a ring out finish

Danny: Nice

Paul: Ready for the second battle

Danny: Yep

Shu: Second battle, ready and set

Danny and Paul: 3, 2, 1, GO SHOOT!!!

Paul: Take the center

(Posiden takes the center quick)

Danny: Flame Launch

Paul: I’ve been waiting for this Hydro Defense

(Kitsune had been hit to the wall)

Danny: Survive, Kitsune

(Kitsune’s avatar happens)

Danny: Use Flame Launch again!!!

Paul: Hydro Launch

(Kitsune wins)

Shu: Flame Kitsune with a Burst Finish. With a score of 3-0 Danny wins

Danny: Yes!!!

Paul: You’re just lucky

Danny: Ok then we’ll battle again soon

(The End)

Preview:

Paul and Danny: Wait the WBO made a invitation for us

Danny and Paul: We’re going to battle a blader

Danny: Next time on Beyblade Burst: Sparking Battle

Chapter: 3

The Invitation 

Danny: 3, 2, 1, GO SHOOT!!!

---

Here's my entry for the fan-fic:
Lialus (Li-Uh-Lus) Frunk
He wears a neon yellow cape with an orange T-Shirt and Shorts. He is very self obsessed and thinks that he is the best blader in the world.
His Bey is  Flip Larry. He loves the name but others make fun of it. It is a single bladed bey with one HUGE blade. If you flip the layer, than it can spin left instead of right. You decide the parts.

The parts for it are:

Disc: Nexus

Driver: Xtend+

---

I’ll have the character contest start in 2 weeks

---

If you want to see my irl face pixelated, click the following spoiler

Spoiler (Click to View)

Ok, I trolled you, but the next one is real

Spoiler (Click to View)

You're a pervert for wanting to find my irl face pixelated!

I'm genuinely uncomfortable just by looking at the format of this fic. Very VERY uncomfortable, no offense.

The font errors, the bad formatting, the lack of details and lack of characterization just make me feel really iffy. The plot is unclear and everything just tasted too bland to even read, as if I'm eating clay. So far, I suppose, we got nothing than an unclear new system and that Danny can beat Ben, Danny has a sister, and that he suddenly got invited to the Raging Bulls. I see a lack of descriptions too. Fanfics/stories in general doesn't only need dialogues you know, descriptions are just as important!

I believe you can improve your fic more. That's all to be said by me for now.

---

hey guys, did you know that in terms of competitive battling, vaporeon is one of the most underrated? not only that it is a water type which grants it only 2 weaknesses and 3 resistances, vaporeon also has a whopping HP stat of 130 and a respectable special defense of 95, allowing it to tank attacks well. it also has the access to the ability hydration, which makes it especially a power to be beckoned in rain teams as it is immune to status moves. not only as a staller, vaporeon can also hold the role of a sweeper as it has a respectable special attack stat of 110, allowing it to fit on HO or HO Rain teams well. in addition, it is able to learn the moves toxic, scald, wish, protect and acid armor making it a very compatible staller and support, flexible to fit in various teams, tiers and so much more to come.

I'm genuinely uncomfortable just by looking at the format of this fic. Very VERY uncomfortable, no offense.

The font errors, the bad formatting, the lack of details and lack of characterization just make me feel really iffy. The plot is unclear and everything just tasted too bland to even read, as if I'm eating clay. So far, I suppose, we got nothing than an unclear new system and that Danny can beat Ben, Danny has a sister, and that he suddenly got invited to the Raging Bulls. I see a lack of descriptions too. Fanfics/stories in general doesn't only need dialogues you know, descriptions are just as important!

I believe you can improve your fic more. That's all to be said by me for now.

I updated my first chapter

---

I'm genuinely uncomfortable just by looking at the format of this fic. Very VERY uncomfortable, no offense.

The font errors, the bad formatting, the lack of details and lack of characterization just make me feel really iffy. The plot is unclear and everything just tasted too bland to even read, as if I'm eating clay. So far, I suppose, we got nothing than an unclear new system and that Danny can beat Ben, Danny has a sister, and that he suddenly got invited to the Raging Bulls. I see a lack of descriptions too. Fanfics/stories in general doesn't only need dialogues you know, descriptions are just as important!

I believe you can improve your fic more. That's all to be said by me for now.

I’ll make it better

---

If you want to see my irl face pixelated, click the following spoiler

Spoiler (Click to View)

Ok, I trolled you, but the next one is real

Spoiler (Click to View)

You're a pervert for wanting to find my irl face pixelated!

I'm genuinely uncomfortable just by looking at the format of this fic. Very VERY uncomfortable, no offense.

The font errors, the bad formatting, the lack of details and lack of characterization just make me feel really iffy. The plot is unclear and everything just tasted too bland to even read, as if I'm eating clay. So far, I suppose, we got nothing than an unclear new system and that Danny can beat Ben, Danny has a sister, and that he suddenly got invited to the Raging Bulls. I see a lack of descriptions too. Fanfics/stories in general doesn't only need dialogues you know, descriptions are just as important!

I believe you can improve your fic more. That's all to be said by me for now.

I updated my first chapter

I guess it's just me, but I still can clearly see those font errors. 


Also, updating the first chapter won't help. You'll need to improve your characterization and dialogue, maybe add some description in your fic then make the DynaSpark system clear on the next chapters. Leave the first chapter be - All you need to do is to fix the font errors and nothing else.

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hey guys, did you know that in terms of competitive battling, vaporeon is one of the most underrated? not only that it is a water type which grants it only 2 weaknesses and 3 resistances, vaporeon also has a whopping HP stat of 130 and a respectable special defense of 95, allowing it to tank attacks well. it also has the access to the ability hydration, which makes it especially a power to be beckoned in rain teams as it is immune to status moves. not only as a staller, vaporeon can also hold the role of a sweeper as it has a respectable special attack stat of 110, allowing it to fit on HO or HO Rain teams well. in addition, it is able to learn the moves toxic, scald, wish, protect and acid armor making it a very compatible staller and support, flexible to fit in various teams, tiers and so much more to come.

I updated my first chapter

I guess it's just me, but I still can clearly see those font errors. 


Also, updating the first chapter won't help. You'll need to improve your characterization and dialogue, maybe add some description in your fic then make the DynaSpark system clear on the next chapters. Leave the first chapter be - All you need to do is to fix the font errors and nothing else.

Ok thanks for the advice @tenma

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Beyblade Burst: Sparking Battle

Chapter: 3

The Invitation

Shu: The WBO gave these invitations to you two cause you two are strong

Danny and Paul: Wait what

Danny: Really

Paul: So Cool!!!

(Paul and Danny get on a plane and they finally get there)

Danny and Paul: Finally!!!

Hyuga and Hikaru: Battle now

Danny and Paul: Ok

Hanami: Welcome bey fans it’s a tag team battle of Hyuga and Hikaru Hizashi VS Danny Flame and Paul Aoki!!!

Danny, Paul, Hyuga, and Hikaru: 3, 2, 1, GO SHOOT!!!

Hyuga: Sun Launch

Hikaru: Blaze Launch

Danny: Flame Launch

Paul: Hydro Launch

(All of the beys are in a clash)

All: AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Hyuga: Hyperion!!!

Hikaru: Helios!!!

Danny: Kitsune!!!

Paul: Posiden!!!

(All avatar’s appear)

Hyuga: Sun Sword

Hikaru: Blaze Sword

Danny: Flame Sword

Paul: Hydro Sword

(The beys release powerful attacks)

(All beys drop from the stadium)

Hanami: Let’s see the replay

(They see the replay)

Ref: It’s Flame Kitsune and Hydro Posiden with a Burst Finish

(The End)

Preview:

Danny and Paul with Ben: We are going to BC Sol where Valt is!!!

Danny: Now I’m wondering if he’s going to battle all of us?

Danny: Next time on Beyblade Burst: Sparking Battle

Chapter: 4

Us VS BC Sol

Danny: 3, 2, 1, GO SHOOT!!!

---

Also the one who inspired me to make this fanfic was @Strikegamerv6

---

I’ll post more chapters tomorrow

---

If you want to see my irl face pixelated, click the following spoiler

Spoiler (Click to View)

Ok, I trolled you, but the next one is real

Spoiler (Click to View)

You're a pervert for wanting to find my irl face pixelated!

I guess it's just me, but I still can clearly see those font errors. 


Also, updating the first chapter won't help. You'll need to improve your characterization and dialogue, maybe add some description in your fic then make the DynaSpark system clear on the next chapters. Leave the first chapter be - All you need to do is to fix the font errors and nothing else.

Ok thanks for the advice @tenma

---

Beyblade Burst: Sparking Battle

Chapter: 3

The Invitation

Shu: The WBO gave these invitations to you two cause you two are strong

Danny and Paul: Wait what

Danny: Really

Paul: So Cool!!!

(Paul and Danny get on a plane and they finally get there)

Danny and Paul: Finally!!!

Hyuga and Hikaru: Battle now

Danny and Paul: Ok

Hanami: Welcome bey fans it’s a tag team battle of Hyuga and Hikaru Hizashi VS Danny Flame and Paul Aoki!!!

Danny, Paul, Hyuga, and Hikaru: 3, 2, 1, GO SHOOT!!!

Hyuga: Sun Launch

Hikaru: Blaze Launch

Danny: Flame Launch

Paul: Hydro Launch

(All of the beys are in a clash)

All: AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Hyuga: Hyperion!!!

Hikaru: Helios!!!

Danny: Kitsune!!!

Paul: Posiden!!!

(All avatar’s appear)

Hyuga: Sun Sword

Hikaru: Blaze Sword

Danny: Flame Sword

Paul: Hydro Sword

(The beys release powerful attacks)

(All beys drop from the stadium)

Hanami: Let’s see the replay

(They see the replay)

Ref: It’s Flame Kitsune and Hydro Posiden with a Burst Finish

(The End)

Preview:

Danny and Paul with Ben: We are going to BC Sol where Valt is!!!

Danny: Now I’m wondering if he’s going to battle all of us?

Danny: Next time on Beyblade Burst: Sparking Battle

Chapter: 4

Us VS BC Sol

Danny: 3, 2, 1, GO SHOOT!!!

---

Also the one who inspired me to make this fanfic was @Strikegamerv6

---

I’ll post more chapters tomorrow

This is a really good start but try slowing down don't try squishing everything into a box expand the box

Spoiler (Click to View)

I loved how my charecter was and I loved how you added a refrence to my book lol I love it a lot of potential keep it up

---

The One Piece is the friends we made a long the way.

Ok thanks for the advice @tenma

---

Beyblade Burst: Sparking Battle

Chapter: 3

The Invitation

Shu: The WBO gave these invitations to you two cause you two are strong

Danny and Paul: Wait what

Danny: Really

Paul: So Cool!!!

(Paul and Danny get on a plane and they finally get there)

Danny and Paul: Finally!!!

Hyuga and Hikaru: Battle now

Danny and Paul: Ok

Hanami: Welcome bey fans it’s a tag team battle of Hyuga and Hikaru Hizashi VS Danny Flame and Paul Aoki!!!

Danny, Paul, Hyuga, and Hikaru: 3, 2, 1, GO SHOOT!!!

Hyuga: Sun Launch

Hikaru: Blaze Launch

Danny: Flame Launch

Paul: Hydro Launch

(All of the beys are in a clash)

All: AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Hyuga: Hyperion!!!

Hikaru: Helios!!!

Danny: Kitsune!!!

Paul: Posiden!!!

(All avatar’s appear)

Hyuga: Sun Sword

Hikaru: Blaze Sword

Danny: Flame Sword

Paul: Hydro Sword

(The beys release powerful attacks)

(All beys drop from the stadium)

Hanami: Let’s see the replay

(They see the replay)

Ref: It’s Flame Kitsune and Hydro Posiden with a Burst Finish

(The End)

Preview:

Danny and Paul with Ben: We are going to BC Sol where Valt is!!!

Danny: Now I’m wondering if he’s going to battle all of us?

Danny: Next time on Beyblade Burst: Sparking Battle

Chapter: 4

Us VS BC Sol

Danny: 3, 2, 1, GO SHOOT!!!

---

Also the one who inspired me to make this fanfic was @Strikegamerv6

---

I’ll post more chapters tomorrow

This is a really good start but try slowing down don't try squishing everything into a box expand the box

Spoiler (Click to View)

I loved how my charecter was and I loved how you added a refrence to my book lol I love it a lot of potential keep it up

Ok I won’t try squishing everything into a box (I can’t believe that I just said that) and I’ll keep it up

---

If you want to see my irl face pixelated, click the following spoiler

Spoiler (Click to View)

Ok, I trolled you, but the next one is real

Spoiler (Click to View)

You're a pervert for wanting to find my irl face pixelated!

This is a really good start but try slowing down don't try squishing everything into a box expand the box

Spoiler (Click to View)

I loved how my charecter was and I loved how you added a refrence to my book lol I love it a lot of potential keep it up

Ok I won’t try squishing everything into a box (I can’t believe that I just said that) and I’ll keep it up

Your going to do awesome

---

The One Piece is the friends we made a long the way.

Ok I won’t try squishing everything into a box (I can’t believe that I just said that) and I’ll keep it up

Your going to do awesome

Thanks @Strikegamerv6 aka the one who inspired me to make this fanfic

---

If you want to see my irl face pixelated, click the following spoiler

Spoiler (Click to View)

Ok, I trolled you, but the next one is real

Spoiler (Click to View)

You're a pervert for wanting to find my irl face pixelated!

Your going to do awesome

Thanks @Strikegamerv6 aka the one who inspired me to make this fanfic

Just don't forget about my fanfic lol

---

The One Piece is the friends we made a long the way.

Thanks @Strikegamerv6 aka the one who inspired me to make this fanfic

Just don't forget about my fanfic lol

Yeah I’ll still read it!!!

---

If you want to see my irl face pixelated, click the following spoiler

Spoiler (Click to View)

Ok, I trolled you, but the next one is real

Spoiler (Click to View)

You're a pervert for wanting to find my irl face pixelated!

DragonBladerZ, mate you have the same problem i used to have.
When your writing you get excited and you want to get to certain points quick but you need to slow down take your time what i mean is your story has potential but you need to slow down the plot Danny went from having a new bey to going to the Raging Bulls and WBO and we got little to no information on who Danny is that's all i have to say for now

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Chapter 6 out now!!! The Mysterious Dragon Blader (TMDB)
https://worldbeyblade.org/Thread-Fan-Fic...pid1745137
Check out and Subscribe to my youtube channel please
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCaUKBqz...03tBab4nFQ

I know you will

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The One Piece is the friends we made a long the way.