World Beyblade Organization by Fighting Spirits Inc. Off-Topic Forums Your Creations

[Fan Fiction]  Beyblade Burst Overdrive [CANCELLED]

Jan. 06, 2019  1:02 AM
 
(Jan. 06, 2019  1:00 AM)Oylspil Wrote: *ahem* hater

I’m not a hater, I’ve just enjoyed drawing and writing stories all my life, so I have a lot of experience and I’ve made the same mistakes as #Fafnir. Don’t get me wrong, sometimes fans have good ideas, and I stick with them, but I usually follow my own path with the stories.
Jan. 06, 2019  1:40 AM
 
Oh well at that point aren't you just starting a thread or somfin for yourself only? But i see where ur coming From
Jan. 06, 2019  1:42 AM
 
(Jan. 06, 2019  1:00 AM)Oylspil Wrote: *ahem* hater

So true
Jan. 06, 2019  2:27 AM
 
From now on, I will no longer take character requests, as I am getting too many too fast. If you have already made a Character, he/she will still be in the story.
Jan. 06, 2019  2:57 AM
 
(Jan. 06, 2019  2:27 AM)#Fafnir Wrote: From now on, I will no longer take character requests, as I am getting too many too fast. If you have already made a Character, he/she will still be in the story.

Thanks God i did
Jan. 06, 2019  6:09 AM
 
(Jan. 06, 2019  2:27 AM)#Fafnir Wrote: From now on, I will no longer take character requests, as I am getting too many too fast. If you have already made a Character, he/she will still be in the story.

You shouldn’t have let them create characters in the first place, IMO.
Jan. 06, 2019  7:36 AM
 
Go for it dude nice!
Jan. 06, 2019  10:15 PM
 
Chapter 5: The First Battle!
Smash Revenge circled the stadium while Ultimate Crusher headed to the middle in it's defense mode. Roan called to Revenge"Attack!" Revenge started a flower pattern attacking Crusher over and over. As Crusher started to wobble, Colin yelled"Now Crusher! Overdrive mode!" Crusher gained all the speed he lost and started to circle the stadium. Crusher dodged all of Revenge's attacks and Revenge started to slow down. Roan then yelled"Overdrive mode Revenge!" Revenge gained speed and caught up to Crusher. Revenge then attacked Crusher and Crusher sped up and hit Revenge. Revenge slammed into the wall of the stadium and Roan called"REVENGE STRIKE!" Revenge hit Crusher so hard it flew up in the air. Crusher landed on the stadium floor and both Revenge and Crusher attacked each other in the middle of the stadium. Both beyblades went flying out of the stadium and hit the ground at the same time, resulting in a tie.
Jan. 06, 2019  11:17 PM
 
(Jan. 06, 2019  10:15 PM)#Fafnir Wrote: Chapter 5: The First Battle!
Smash Revenge circled the stadium while Ultimate Crusher headed to the middle in it's defense mode.  Roan called to Revenge"Attack!" Revenge started a flower pattern attacking Crusher over and over. As Crusher started to wobble, Colin yelled"Now Crusher! Overdrive mode!" Crusher gained all the speed he lost and started to circle the stadium. Crusher dodged all of Revenge's attacks and Revenge started to slow down. Roan then yelled"Overdrive mode Revenge!" Revenge gained speed and caught up to Crusher. Revenge then attacked Crusher and Crusher sped up and hit Revenge. Revenge slammed into the wall of the stadium and Roan called"REVENGE STRIKE!" Revenge hit Crusher so hard it flew up in the air. Crusher landed on the stadium floor and both Revenge and Crusher attacked each other in the middle of the stadium. Both beyblades went flying out of the stadium and hit the ground at the same time, resulting in a tie.
More! More! More!
Jan. 09, 2019  6:26 PM
 
Chapter 6: The New Kid.
Colin and Roan were amazed at the tie and both said "That was awesome!" Colin left Taiga's house with Roan and saw someone blading. They both walked up to him. The kid turned around and and smiled. "My name is Arron and this is my beyblade Blitz Amazon!" Colin and Roan then asked for a battle. Arron accepted and they all took out their launchers. 3! 2! 1! LET IT RIP! Crusher went straight to the middle in stamina mode while Amazon and Revenge circled around the beyblade stadium. Amazon and Revenge attacked Crusher in a flower pattern. Crusher was flung in the air."Ultimate Zeta Change!" yelled Colin. Crusher's tip then changed to attack mode and rushed after Revenge and Amazon. They all collided and burst at the same time.
Jan. 11, 2019  11:16 PM
 
Chapter 7: The Legendary Bladebreakers!
Colin and Roan walked around the city and saw 4 boys beyblading. They all turned around and saw Colin and Roan."Do you beyblade too?" "Yeah" said Colin and Roan. "Were the Bladebreakers!" said the boys.
Sorry for the short chapter.
Jan. 11, 2019  11:18 PM
 
(Jan. 11, 2019  11:16 PM)#Fafnir Wrote: Chapter 7: The Legendary Bladebreakers!
Colin and Roan walked around the city and saw 4 boys beyblading. They all turned around and saw Colin and Roan."Do you beyblade too?" "Yeah" said Colin and Roan. "Were the Bladebreakers!" said the boys.
Sorry for the short chapter.

BladeBreakers! Amazing! Smile
Jan. 11, 2019  11:18 PM
 
I summon the story critic to review Beyblade Burst Overdrive!
Jan. 12, 2019  8:08 AM
 
(Jan. 11, 2019  11:18 PM)#Fafnir Wrote: I summon the story critic to review Beyblade Burst Overdrive!

Ugh, so many summons. I’ll get it here tomorrow
Jan. 12, 2019  3:56 PM
 
Yaya but Amazon kinda can't do a flower pattern only go mega fast and either bounce off the walls or do like a Omega flash launch. But I love it
Jan. 12, 2019  6:06 PM
 
Chapter 8: Say What?!
"My name is Tyson, and my beyblade is Dragoon!" said one. "My name is Max and my beyblade is Draciel!" said another. "My name is Ray, and my beyblade is Driger!" said the third. Colin and Roan walked up to the fourth boy asked him his name. "My name is Kai and my beyblade is Dranzer" he said. "Would you two like to become part of the bladebreakers?" asked Tyson. "Yes!" responded Colin and Roan. "First, you must battle Max and Ray in a team battle. Then, you will face me and Kai." said Tyson. Colin, Roan, Max, and Ray put their beyblades on their launchers 3! 2! 1! LET IT RIP!
Jan. 13, 2019  5:56 PM
 
New chapter is out!
(Jan. 12, 2019  8:08 AM)Dt20000 Wrote:
(Jan. 11, 2019  11:18 PM)#Fafnir Wrote: I summon the story critic to review Beyblade Burst Overdrive!

Ugh, so many summons. I’ll get it here tomorrow

(Jan. 13, 2019  11:22 PM)Dt20000 Wrote:
(Jan. 13, 2019  11:20 PM)CheetoBlader Wrote: Thank you

I’m sorry that this is off topic, but the battle between Toko and Nika is happening soon and I’m holding a vote for who wins in the Special Chapter thread!

On topic, that’s a happy ending ?

Is the story critic ready?
Jan. 13, 2019  11:33 PM
 
(Jan. 13, 2019  5:56 PM)#Fafnir Wrote: New chapter is out!
(Jan. 12, 2019  8:08 AM)Dt20000 Wrote: Ugh, so many summons. I’ll get it here tomorrow

(Jan. 13, 2019  11:22 PM)Dt20000 Wrote: I’m sorry that this is off topic, but the battle between Toko and Nika is happening soon and I’m holding a vote for who wins in the Special Chapter thread!

On topic, that’s a happy ending ?

Is the story critic ready?

Oh sorry, I forgot.

Originality:
Beyblade Burst Overdrive is unique since it has a crossover with older characters and unique battles, so I give it an 8/10 for originality since some of the characters are used from other stories.

Plot:
It has a mostly original plot with an unexpected crossover and some unique battles and opponents. 9/10

Enjoyability:
It is enjoyable and fun to read, but it’s less enjoyable because of how short it is. 7/10

Overall:
Its pretty good and I would recommend it to a friend, but not a must-read.
Originality: 8/10
Plot: 9/10
Enjoyability: 7/10
Overall: 8/10

Also, can you vote on the special chapter thread for who you want to win
Jan. 16, 2019  2:02 AM
 
I just got done typing a chapter and my computer froze. I will post a new chapter later.
Jan. 17, 2019  10:16 PM
 
Chapter 9: Oh Yeah!
Draciel went straight to the middle, and Driger, Revenge, and Crusher circled around the stadium."Go overdrive defense Draciel!" yelled Max. Crusher then hit Revenge."What did you do that for?" asked Roan."Use Revenge's revenge strike on Draciel Roan."whispered Colin. "Go now Revenge! Attack Draciel with revenge strike!" yelled Roan. Revenge went to the center and hit Draciel so hard they both flew out of the stadium. GO DRIGER! OVERDRIVE CLAW!" yelled Ray. "Go overdrive mode Crusher!" yelled Colin. Both beyblades sped up. "Now Crusher, Ultimate Slash!" yelled Colin. Crusher and Driger fought and Driger burst slightly before Crusher."Yeah! Now were part of the Bladebreakers!" yelled Colin and Roan.
Jan. 18, 2019  12:51 AM
 
(Jan. 04, 2019  7:25 PM)BounduAtakku Wrote:
(Jan. 04, 2019  7:23 PM)#Fafnir Wrote: Chapter 1: Going Overdrive!
Colin wakes up  and and realizes what time it is. "Oh no I'm late!" He springs out of bed and gets dressed. After he got dressed, Colin ran downstairs and out the door. "Today is the day I get my new beyblade!"

That's litteraly the first episode of Pokemon.

yep
Jan. 19, 2019  8:51 PM
 
Chapter 10: The Good News!
  All six boys walked to a hotel and got a room. They all walked to their room."Let's check out the sports channel" suggested Max. Max turned on the TV at the right time because the beyblade part of the show came on. "We have just received news for a new beyblade tournament!" boomed the announcer over the screen. All the boys jumped up excitedly and went to grab some food."So what do you two think of your first beyblade tournament?" asked Tyson. I'm hyped!" said Colin and Roan. When they returned to their room, they went to bed.
  At around 5 AM, Colin decided to get out of bed. He got dressed and got his beyblade as he headed out of the room and outside. He ran up to the nearest beyblade stadium and launched his beyblade. "We have to get stronger Crusher" said Colin softly. Crusher rushed around the stadium. "Overdrive mode" said Colin. Crusher sped up and flew out of the stadium. Then Colin turned around to see Tyson behind him. "Would you like to train with me?" asked Tyson.
Jan. 27, 2019  5:47 PM
 
Chapter 11: Tournament Training Part 1.
"Sure" said Colin. They both put their beyblades on the launcher and launched. Crusher went to the middle in left stamina mode while Dragoon circled around the stadium. "Dragoon attack!" yelled Tyson. Dragoon went to the center and smashed Crusher out of the stadium and Crusher burst mid-air. "Again" said Colin. 3! 2! 1! LET IT RIP! Crusher went to the middle in left stamina again while Dragoon circled around. "Attack Dragoon!" yelled Tyson. Dragoon went to the middle like last time and hit crusher into the air."This is not ending like last time! Go Crusher, ultimate zeta change!"yelled Colin. Crusher slammed into the wall and changed into attack mode. "Dragoon end this now! Overdrive Hurricane!" yelled Tyson. "Crusher attack Dragoon with ultimate slash!" yelled Colin. Dragoon and Crusher collided in the center. Suddenly there was a huge explosion, and Ray, Max, Kai, and Roan ran downstairs and outside to see what had happened. Both Tyson and Colin were shocked to see Dragoon and Crusher had both burst. "That was awesome!" Tyson and Colin yelled.
Feb. 04, 2019  5:57 PM
 
Chapter 12: Tournament Training Part 2.
"Hey Roan wanna battle?" asked Colin. "Yeah!" responded Roan. Roan walked up to the stadium. "3! 2! 1! LET IT RIP!" they yelled. Revenge circled around the stadium while Crusher went to the middle in right stamina mode. "Attack Revenge!" yelled Roan. Revenge started a flower pattern and attacked Crusher over and over. Crusher lost all of it's stamina and Revenge got a point for a spin finish. "3! 2! 1! LET IT RIP!" This time Crusher went to the middle in left stamina mode while Revenge circled around the stadium. "Revenge attack!" yelled Roan. Like last time, Revenge started a flower pattern attacking Crusher. "Go Revenge! Revenge Smash!" yelled Roan. Revenge smashed Crusher into the air. "Hang in there Crusher! Ultimate Zeta Change!" yelled Colin. Crusher landed on the edge of the stadium and changed to attack mode. Crusher then hit Revenge and Crusher started to wobble. "GO OVERDRIVE MODE CRUSHER!" yelled Colin. Crusher instantly sped up and headed straight for Revenge. "GO ULTIMATE SLASH!" yelled Colin. Crusher hit Revenge and instantly burst it. "Oh man I lost!" said Roan. "Let's go back inside and see when the tournament starts." said Tyson. They all went inside and turned on the TV. "Bladers will get to the tournament on a cruise ship! The ship leaves at 1:00 PM so I will see everyone at the tournament!" said the TV announcer. Everyone got their stuff, headed to the cruise ship, and got on board.
Feb. 04, 2019  6:45 PM
 
(Feb. 04, 2019  5:57 PM)#Fafnir Wrote: Chapter 12: Tournament Training Part 2.
"Hey Roan wanna battle?" asked Colin. "Yeah!" responded Roan. Roan walked up to the stadium. "3! 2! 1! LET IT RIP!" they yelled. Revenge circled around the stadium while Crusher went to the middle in right stamina mode. "Attack Revenge!" yelled Roan. Revenge started a flower pattern and attacked Crusher over and over. Crusher lost all of it's stamina and Revenge got a point for a spin finish. "3! 2! 1! LET IT RIP!" This time Crusher went to the middle in left stamina mode while Revenge circled around the stadium. "Revenge attack!" yelled Roan. Like last time, Revenge started a flower pattern attacking Crusher. "Go Revenge! Revenge Smash!" yelled Roan. Revenge smashed Crusher into the air. "Hang in there Crusher! Ultimate Zeta Change!" yelled Colin. Crusher landed on the edge of the stadium and changed to attack mode. Crusher then hit Revenge and Crusher started to wobble. "GO OVERDRIVE MODE CRUSHER!" yelled Colin. Crusher instantly sped up and headed straight for Revenge. "GO ULTIMATE SLASH!" yelled Colin. Crusher hit Revenge and instantly burst it. "Oh man I lost!" said Roan. "Let's go back inside and see when the tournament starts." said Tyson. They all went inside and turned on the TV. "Bladers will get to the tournament on a cruise ship! The ship leaves at 1:00 PM so I will see everyone at the tournament!" said the TV announcer. Everyone got their stuff, headed to the cruise ship, and got on board.

Noooo! Roan lost! :p 
Great chapter!
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