(Nov. 30, 2021 4:56 PM)SpeedySuomi Wrote: Interesting, let's see how this plays out. It's a rather generic first chapter, but it's solid enough.
Thanks! I think it'll be better later on, the first two chapters were basically for character intros. Thanks for the feedback!
I'll post Chapter 2 soon, now hope it's good!
Chapter 2: Eruption Ifrit! Fallen Valkyrie!
???: “Now Fallen Valkyrie!”
Fallen Valkyrie then charged down and hit the opponent’s Cyclone Ifrit out of the stadium.
It burst and then exploded into a million shards.
Irene stood there with tears in her eyes.
Irene: “How could you do that?”
???: “There’s no place in the world for weaklings like you.
Keith grabbed the capped teen’s shoulder and yelled.
Keith: “Why would you do something so heartless!”
??? slapped Keith’s arm off.
??? turned around and pointed at himself and said
???: “I am Van Aoi, and I’m the holder of Fallen Valkyrie”
Baki: “Aoi!?”
Keith pulled out Kratos, and said.
Keith: “Battle me and my Destruction Kratos.”
Van: “Sure, you’ll lose but that will be fun to see.”
Keith: “Baki, could you be the referee?”
Baki: “Sure, Keith.”
Irene ran away, she had no clue where she was going but she wouldn’t stop running.
Irene’s Mind: “How come I lost so quickly, that was my mother’s bey. I should’ve never started blading!”
Irene ran until, she saw Keith standing in the middle of the woods.
Irene’s Mind: “What’s Keith doing out here?”
Keith stood there, he then punched the tree.
Keith: “I can’t believe I lost!”
Irene walked over to Keith, and said
Irene: “Hey Keith, are you alright?”
Keith looked at her, and remembered her battle at the park.
Keith: “I should be the one asking you that?”
Irene then blushed and looked away embarrassed.
Keith: “I have an idea, what if I help you forge a Mystic Beyblade!”
Irene looked at Keith and smiled.
Irene: “Thanks Keith, I’d love that.”
At the Alcazaba’s Mansion, Irene and Keith walked up to the 3d print room.
Irene: “I’ll revive you Ifrit.”
Keith looked at her and realized her determination, so he began typing quickly.
Irene watched Keith type until the screen went white, and there was models to choose from.
Keith: “This is all you now Irene.”
Keith got off the chair, and Irene went over and began typing.
Irene: “I want the bey to have 6 upper blades, rubber on the end of the blades. I still want to use a balance type so I’ll use Wave as my driver, but it should be stronger, so I’ll make it a dash driver, for my disc I’ll have 10 upper blades to create an airflow up to my blade. Finally, for my armor, I’ll have rubber stoppers to keep my bey from bursting so quickly.”
Keith stood there, admiring Irene and her love for Beyblade.
Then the 3d printers began printing, and Keith saw the beginnings of Ifrit.
About 1 and a half hours passed, Irene had finished Ifrit, the paint was done, so she went over to Keith and saw he was asleep.
Irene: “Hey Keith, wake up, I’m finished.”
Irene wanted to be gentle, she then began poking him gently, until Keith got up.
Keith: “Oh hey Irene, is Ifrit done?”
Irene showed Ifrit to him.
Irene: “Let’s battle Keith!”
Keith grinned.
Keith: “You took the words outta my mouth!”
The duo walked over to the stadium, and got their launchers ready.
Keith’s mind: “I need to put absolutely everything into my launch!”
Irene’s mind: “I’ll use my lower body strength, to jump forward and pull off an amazing launch.”
Keith and Irene: “Ready! Set!”
Keith: “3”
Irene: “2”
Keith and Irene: “1”
Keith pushed all his power into his legs and right arm.
Keith and Irene: “Go Shoot!”
Irene jumped forward, and pulled off an amazing launch.
Keith pulled his ripcord as hard as possible, and that resulted in his launcher breaking.
Keith: “Go, Kratos, Destruction Shoot!”
Irene: “We aren’t losing easy, Ifrit.”
Ifrit took the center, while Kratos drift on the stadium’s ridge.
Kratos then shot towards the center, Irene saw what Keith was planning on doing.
Irene: “Ifrit!”
Ifrit’s avatar appeared, it roared, as Irene called out.
Irene: “Ifrit, Erupting Claws!”
The rubber on the Eruption Blade, began to glow, and it hit Kratos.
Keith: “I’ve tricked you! Kratos!”
Kratos’ avatar appeard, and Keith called out.
Keith: “Destruction Bound!”
Kratos’ bound blades pushed in and hit Ifrit back.
But Ifrit didn’t shoot far back at all, instead once it landed, it shot towards Kratos.
Irene: “Wave Shoot!”
Keith: “Kratos! Destruction Strike!”
Ifrit barely dodged Kratos rushing towards it. Then Ifrit began to drift on Wave.
Irene: “The time is now Ifrit!”
Irene: “Wave Counter!”
Ifrit then shot towards Kratos, and slammed into it.
Irene: “Eruption Impact!”
Ifrit hit Kratos again, and burst it.
Keith: “I lost!”
Irene jumped up and clapped
Keith then high fived Irene
Keith: “You did good!”
Keith and Irene walked back to Baki’s mansion.
Irene on the way back asked.
Irene: “How did you lose to Van?”
Keith: “It only took him 30 seconds to win.”
-2 hours ago-
Van: “Fallen Valkyrie, will be your opponent.”
Keith saw Irene ran to the woods, he grabbed Kratos and look at Van.
Keith: “And, Kratos will be the savior of Irene!”
Both bladers got ready. Van got to a crouching postion.
Keith: “3!”
Van launched forward.
Keith: “2!”
Van touched the ground and turned around, grabbing his launcher’s grip.
Both: “1!”
Van spun on his foot, to face Keith.
Both: “Go Shoot!”
Valkyrie and Kratos landed, Kratos was in Defense Mode.
Van’s eyes glowed purple.
Van: “End this now, Fallen Sword!”
Valkyrie began scraping on Venture’s rubber, before it shot at Kratos.
Valkyrie hit it out of the stadium and it burst.
Keith stood there, he had lost again.
Irene and Keith got back to Baki’s mansion, and once they got there, they heard Baki talking to some people.
They entered the Beyblading room, and saw Valt Aoi and Free De Le Hoyo, talking with Baki.
Keith: “Wait, Valt!?”
Returned from Beyond The Grave, writing has now begun again.