Boundaries: Crossed (Chp. 3 up already!)

Poll: You liking it so far?

Oh yeah! One of the best!
66.67%
2
It's great, but you need to improve.
33.33%
1
It's good, somehow.
0%
0
It's godawful!
0%
0
Total: 100% 3 vote(s)
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
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Hello everyone! This is a new story I'm working on. Don't worry, my other story will be finished. I plan on making about 10-15 chapters in Boundaries: Crossed and about 15-20 on The Shadows of the Condemned. The next chapter will be up soon!
well written!
the end was completely unexpected!
Wow......That was....Cool.....You know Boundaries crossed is a pokemon card series. Well I like the story and had a good twist.
Hm? Oh right. So that's where I got it from. Boundaries Crossed, the one with Kyurem right? Anyway, thanks for the comments. Revelations will be revealed in the next chapter!
New chapter up. To anyone who doesn't know by now, this is a non-beyblade story.
I can only describe this story as perfect. Seriously, its amazing. You really feel for the character. The suspense is always used effectively. I think this story is really going somewhere. KEEP IT UP.

I noticed that you said "I loo" instead of "I look", but i knew what you meant so nothing unfixable there. Also you say "She pulls back her arm and then trusts..." when im guessing it's meant to be "She pulls back her arm and then thrusts...". These are tiny mistakes though so let it for a second dishearten you.

A professional, well-written story. Keep writing.
Hey, Sonicsora123. Haven't seen you in a while. Anyway, thanks for the comment! I will fix those mistakes.
Chapter three is up already in just a day! The third one too three pages though.
Hmm, Chapter 3 is very interesting. It's all very mysterious to me and I think the mystery really drives the reader to read on.

I have noticed you use a lot of speech in your story. It's pretty much the opposite of me. I usually end up doing all description and no speech if i dont remind myself to do otherwise. Anyway just next time try to avoid using as much speech, but still Chapter 3 is a great addition to the story.