Yet another story of mine I started and never did anything with. I deleted it.

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“In the course of twenty crowded years, one parts with many illusions. I did not wish to lose the early ones. Some memories are realities, and are better than anything that can ever happen again.” -Jim Burden (My Ántonia)

Nice story!Better than my magnetic force story by a long shot...bummer.Can you use my series in your story?

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Check out my apps on Google Play, and my official website :

http://elitepr0jects.webs.com

I noticed one capatilization mistake. " 'Beats me, he said he'd be here soon.' THey...."

I like it. I'll vote on the poll once you get into a plot.

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6 God is watching and I hope you're prepared to face him

Nice story!Better than my magnetic force story by a long shot...bummer.Can you use my series in your story?

Sorry, I've already planned out this story (a rare occurrence for me), so adding something in would change the plan.

I noticed one capatilization mistake. " 'Beats me, he said he'd be here soon.' THey...."

I like it. I'll vote on the poll once you get into a plot.

Sorry bout that, I'll fix it.

Ok, the plot should pick up around chapter 2 or 3.

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“In the course of twenty crowded years, one parts with many illusions. I did not wish to lose the early ones. Some memories are realities, and are better than anything that can ever happen again.” -Jim Burden (My Ántonia)

sick story keep writing

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Hey check out my channel by clicking: here
-Tnx KingCepheusIII and Omega12!!

Hmmmm...

Well, I sure like the content of this one more than I did in Frozen Mistakes. I also like some of the description you put into it. Really adds the necessary creativeness to the story. Unfortunately, you seem to have forgot about the spacing of paragraphs. It kinda makes your paper hard to read. Also, I'm afraid you have a little too much dialogue for my taste. This is supposed to be an adventure story, not a narrative. Cool down on the talking. I wanna see action.

I think it's fixable though. Keep up the good work.

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Come check out my Youtube Channel here! It's all about video games!

Sorry, I was in a hurry and save one chapter I wrote for another story a few days ago, I haven't written in awhile. I'll definitely fix the spacing.

How do you know it's supposed to be an adventure story? I'm kidding, and I'll try to go easy on the dialogue, I just wanted to cement some characteristics and give an introduction to the characters.

Thanks for the tips! I'll work on those and the next chapter should be up later this week.

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“In the course of twenty crowded years, one parts with many illusions. I did not wish to lose the early ones. Some memories are realities, and are better than anything that can ever happen again.” -Jim Burden (My Ántonia)

Chapter 2 is up. I'm still "setting the stage," it should pick up next chapter.

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“In the course of twenty crowded years, one parts with many illusions. I did not wish to lose the early ones. Some memories are realities, and are better than anything that can ever happen again.” -Jim Burden (My Ántonia)

Nice story, can't wait to see more and for it to get to the main plots :-]

I saw "THe" in chapter 2 btw

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Signature credit to Leet.o

Spoiler (Click to View)

Threads you should read:

Pony King ? God, can't believe I typed this. I have to put my keyboard in the dishwasher now...

dude are you a gangster

LOL did you asked Midnight to take that pic?

When a monochrome picture is posted on WBO, it doesn't mean that it's always from Midnight.

I wouldn't trust someone with that many Cancer faces.

Well damn.

@[The Supreme One] Soul Baez V145AS

There's nothing else really to do or say except wait for the Superbowl, but I'm only here so I don't get fined.



Time. *gets up and leaves*

We won't have tournaments in the winter. Cause we are not one of those Canadian people where they just go outside like nothing happened to their hands.

i like my coffee like i like my men B)



i don't like coffee

I never have.

*Ginga*.. you're drunk bro... go home.. : )

Tbh SGMS & BDMS are kinda worthless.
MSUV is a far better spent investment; DGMF is even better IMO.

Um what? You're just saying that because you're a dragoon fanboy...

Why would I be suspended????

HMS summarised:




Anything not Tornado Type S:  Wolborg will leave you #rekt




Otherwise:  Go crazy with Ultimate Grip Flat 




For something less cookie-cutter:  Jiraiya sure is sexy

Is Wolborg 2 useless for competitive play?

Extremely useless. 
Now, if you come upon one I'll just PM you my address so you can throw it away. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

I wasn't looking for Beyblade Underwear, I swear

I can't seem to find it

Anyway, thanks! Like I said on my other story thread, I haven't really felt motivated to write stories, as lately I've been veering more towards writing music, but I'll try to get more chapters in!

Edit: Found the mistake.

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“In the course of twenty crowded years, one parts with many illusions. I did not wish to lose the early ones. Some memories are realities, and are better than anything that can ever happen again.” -Jim Burden (My Ántonia)

Are you going to keep writing?This is a good story

---

Check out my apps on Google Play, and my official website :

http://elitepr0jects.webs.com

Dude... Read his post right above yours...

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Signature credit to Leet.o

Spoiler (Click to View)

Threads you should read:

Pony King ? God, can't believe I typed this. I have to put my keyboard in the dishwasher now...

dude are you a gangster

LOL did you asked Midnight to take that pic?

When a monochrome picture is posted on WBO, it doesn't mean that it's always from Midnight.

I wouldn't trust someone with that many Cancer faces.

Well damn.

@[The Supreme One] Soul Baez V145AS

There's nothing else really to do or say except wait for the Superbowl, but I'm only here so I don't get fined.



Time. *gets up and leaves*

We won't have tournaments in the winter. Cause we are not one of those Canadian people where they just go outside like nothing happened to their hands.

i like my coffee like i like my men B)



i don't like coffee

I never have.

*Ginga*.. you're drunk bro... go home.. : )

Tbh SGMS & BDMS are kinda worthless.
MSUV is a far better spent investment; DGMF is even better IMO.

Um what? You're just saying that because you're a dragoon fanboy...

Why would I be suspended????

HMS summarised:




Anything not Tornado Type S:  Wolborg will leave you #rekt




Otherwise:  Go crazy with Ultimate Grip Flat 




For something less cookie-cutter:  Jiraiya sure is sexy

Is Wolborg 2 useless for competitive play?

Extremely useless. 
Now, if you come upon one I'll just PM you my address so you can throw it away. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

I wasn't looking for Beyblade Underwear, I swear

Maybe you should reread his post.You missed the part where he said,"ill still try to get some chapters in though."
Thanks for your..assistance,though.

---

Check out my apps on Google Play, and my official website :

http://elitepr0jects.webs.com

Yes, that pretty much answers yours question.

---

Signature credit to Leet.o

Spoiler (Click to View)

Threads you should read:

Pony King ? God, can't believe I typed this. I have to put my keyboard in the dishwasher now...

dude are you a gangster

LOL did you asked Midnight to take that pic?

When a monochrome picture is posted on WBO, it doesn't mean that it's always from Midnight.

I wouldn't trust someone with that many Cancer faces.

Well damn.

@[The Supreme One] Soul Baez V145AS

There's nothing else really to do or say except wait for the Superbowl, but I'm only here so I don't get fined.



Time. *gets up and leaves*

We won't have tournaments in the winter. Cause we are not one of those Canadian people where they just go outside like nothing happened to their hands.

i like my coffee like i like my men B)



i don't like coffee

I never have.

*Ginga*.. you're drunk bro... go home.. : )

Tbh SGMS & BDMS are kinda worthless.
MSUV is a far better spent investment; DGMF is even better IMO.

Um what? You're just saying that because you're a dragoon fanboy...

Why would I be suspended????

HMS summarised:




Anything not Tornado Type S:  Wolborg will leave you #rekt




Otherwise:  Go crazy with Ultimate Grip Flat 




For something less cookie-cutter:  Jiraiya sure is sexy

Is Wolborg 2 useless for competitive play?

Extremely useless. 
Now, if you come upon one I'll just PM you my address so you can throw it away. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

I wasn't looking for Beyblade Underwear, I swear

Yes, I will be posting more chapters, haha. It might just not be for awhile.

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“In the course of twenty crowded years, one parts with many illusions. I did not wish to lose the early ones. Some memories are realities, and are better than anything that can ever happen again.” -Jim Burden (My Ántonia)

Yes, that pretty much answers yours question.

Is that sarcasm I hear?Whatever.
Hope theres a lot more dual.
Great first two chapters.

---

Check out my apps on Google Play, and my official website :

http://elitepr0jects.webs.com

Evil emporer:
What? I had already asked if he was gonna continue his stories in another thread and he answered here also. So this post pretty much answers your question:

I can't seem to find it

Anyway, thanks! Like I said on my other story thread, I haven't really felt motivated to write stories, as lately I've been veering more towards writing music, but I'll try to get more chapters in!

Edit: Found the mistake.

---

Signature credit to Leet.o

Spoiler (Click to View)

Threads you should read:

Pony King ? God, can't believe I typed this. I have to put my keyboard in the dishwasher now...

dude are you a gangster

LOL did you asked Midnight to take that pic?

When a monochrome picture is posted on WBO, it doesn't mean that it's always from Midnight.

I wouldn't trust someone with that many Cancer faces.

Well damn.

@[The Supreme One] Soul Baez V145AS

There's nothing else really to do or say except wait for the Superbowl, but I'm only here so I don't get fined.



Time. *gets up and leaves*

We won't have tournaments in the winter. Cause we are not one of those Canadian people where they just go outside like nothing happened to their hands.

i like my coffee like i like my men B)



i don't like coffee

I never have.

*Ginga*.. you're drunk bro... go home.. : )

Tbh SGMS & BDMS are kinda worthless.
MSUV is a far better spent investment; DGMF is even better IMO.

Um what? You're just saying that because you're a dragoon fanboy...

Why would I be suspended????

HMS summarised:




Anything not Tornado Type S:  Wolborg will leave you #rekt




Otherwise:  Go crazy with Ultimate Grip Flat 




For something less cookie-cutter:  Jiraiya sure is sexy

Is Wolborg 2 useless for competitive play?

Extremely useless. 
Now, if you come upon one I'll just PM you my address so you can throw it away. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

I wasn't looking for Beyblade Underwear, I swear

Yes, that pretty much answers yours question.

Is that sarcasm I hear?Whatever.
Hope theres a lot more dual.
Great first two chapters.

No, that is not sarcasm(And no that is not sarcasm either).

I hope you do continue the story, it's awesome, so far!

---

6 God is watching and I hope you're prepared to face him

Chapter 3 is up!

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“In the course of twenty crowded years, one parts with many illusions. I did not wish to lose the early ones. Some memories are realities, and are better than anything that can ever happen again.” -Jim Burden (My Ántonia)