World Beyblade Organization by Fighting Spirits Inc.

Yet another story of mine I started and never did anything with. I deleted it.

Nice story!Better than my magnetic force story by a long shot...bummer.Can you use my series in your story?

I noticed one capatilization mistake. " 'Beats me, he said he'd be here soon.' THey...."

I like it. I'll vote on the poll once you get into a plot.

(Feb. 11, 2014  9:06 PM)King EVIL Emper Wrote: [ -> ]Nice story!Better than my magnetic force story by a long shot...bummer.Can you use my series in your story?

Sorry, I've already planned out this story (a rare occurrence for me), so adding something in would change the plan.

(Feb. 11, 2014  9:14 PM)TheWhiteTiger Wrote: [ -> ]I noticed one capatilization mistake. " 'Beats me, he said he'd be here soon.' THey...."

I like it. I'll vote on the poll once you get into a plot.

Sorry bout that, I'll fix it.

Ok, the plot should pick up around chapter 2 or 3.

sick story keep writing

Hmmmm...

Well, I sure like the content of this one more than I did in Frozen Mistakes. I also like some of the description you put into it. Really adds the necessary creativeness to the story. Unfortunately, you seem to have forgot about the spacing of paragraphs. It kinda makes your paper hard to read. Also, I'm afraid you have a little too much dialogue for my taste. This is supposed to be an adventure story, not a narrative. Cool down on the talking. I wanna see action.

I think it's fixable though. Keep up the good work.

Sorry, I was in a hurry and save one chapter I wrote for another story a few days ago, I haven't written in awhile. I'll definitely fix the spacing.

How do you know it's supposed to be an adventure story? I'm kidding, and I'll try to go easy on the dialogue, I just wanted to cement some characteristics and give an introduction to the characters.

Thanks for the tips! I'll work on those and the next chapter should be up later this week.

Chapter 2 is up. I'm still "setting the stage," it should pick up next chapter.

Nice story, can't wait to see more and for it to get to the main plots :-]

I saw "THe" in chapter 2 btw

I can't seem to find it

Anyway, thanks! Like I said on my other story thread, I haven't really felt motivated to write stories, as lately I've been veering more towards writing music, but I'll try to get more chapters in!

Edit: Found the mistake.

Are you going to keep writing?This is a good story

Dude... Read his post right above yours...

Maybe you should reread his post.You missed the part where he said,"ill still try to get some chapters in though."
Thanks for your..assistance,though.

Yes, that pretty much answers yours question.

Yes, I will be posting more chapters, haha. It might just not be for awhile.

(Mar. 10, 2014  10:05 PM)TheLibraKing Wrote: [ -> ]Yes, that pretty much answers yours question.

Is that sarcasm I hear?Whatever.
Hope theres a lot more dual.
Great first two chapters.

(Mar. 10, 2014  10:49 PM)Evil Emporer Wrote: [ -> ]

(Mar. 10, 2014  10:05 PM)TheLibraKing Wrote: [ -> ]Yes, that pretty much answers yours question.

Is that sarcasm I hear?Whatever.
Hope theres a lot more dual.
Great first two chapters.

No, that is not sarcasm(And no that is not sarcasm either).

I hope you do continue the story, it's awesome, so far!

Chapter 3 is up!