Summary (Click to View)
Chapter 1 Basketball Replaced (Click to View)
Chapter 2 First Beyblade (Click to View)
Amazing |
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1 |
Good, but not the Best |
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0 |
Needs Work |
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0 |
Poor |
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0 |
This story should stop |
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1 |
Total: | 100% | 2 vote(s) |
(Aug. 31, 2013 9:43 PM)DefStamina88 Wrote: Alright, I like the idea of the story, but we have a few things to work on...hmm... maybe you could make chapter one a prelude, but yeah definitely other chapter's should be longer.
First off, there are a few grammar mistakes here and there. You need to make sure you use the right word when you type a sentence.
Second, you need to clarify a little bit. Why did Blade all of a sudden start bleeding from his mouth? Why does he have to stop playing physical sports? It confuses viewers if they don't know the important question; Why? They can get lost.
Lastly, your next chapters NEED to be longer, no way around it. If there's not a lot of content, it either makes your story short, or it gets frustrating if you have like 60 chapters with like a paragraph or two in it.
If you can fix that, then you can have a pretty popular story here.
(Aug. 31, 2013 9:43 PM)DefStamina88 Wrote: Second, you need to clarify a little bit. Why did Blade all of a sudden start bleeding from his mouth? Why does he have to stop playing physical sports? It confuses viewers if they don't know the important question; Why? They can get lost.A story can be good and people not know what's going on, however you have to make it so it is obvious it is sapose to leave the reader wondering, or maybe even state that no one in the story knows the answer to the question why.