World Beyblade Organization by Fighting Spirits Inc. Off-Topic Forums Your Creations

Beyblade Neo Frontline (Beyblade Story) (Got Season 3 Part 3 sneak peek up)

Poll: Good Story?

Awesome!
15.79%
3
Good.
36.84%
7
Needs work
21.05%
4
Terrible
26.32%
5
Total: 100% 19 vote(s)
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Feb. 24, 2015  1:18 AM
 
(Feb. 24, 2015  1:12 AM)UW Officer Wrote: I read all the episodes, but why is season 2 so dark?! Maxim kills his mother?! Naomi DIES?! That is pretty deep... It's good, but too evil Uncertain But it's still ok Smile

Yeah, I said that as well, the sudden change of tone is weird and drugs are involved in it, and it goes to some battle network type of beyblade game, so this series does go many directions but can't focus on any that well.
The change in tone I presume is to make the series "edgier" I guess but it overdoes it at first. It's probably an attempt to make it a deep story.

However, it's still enjoyable to read but man, Naomi dies without trying to get out?
Feb. 24, 2015  1:19 AM
 
(Feb. 24, 2015  1:12 AM)UW Officer Wrote: I read all the episodes, but why is season 2 so dark?! Maxim kills his mother?! Naomi DIES?! That is pretty deep... It's good, but too evil Uncertain But it's still ok Smile
Becoz that's wat I chused it tu bee. xD But really, the Maxim killing his mother part, was based on a character from FMA, who killed his wife. EOD
Feb. 24, 2015  1:19 AM
 
Another problem is that some of the episodes aren't really Beyblade related. To your credit, I do really like the idea of putting your Beyblade into something to transport to the virtual world. That sounds pretty awesome and unique.
Feb. 24, 2015  1:22 AM
 
(Feb. 24, 2015  1:18 AM)UW Detective Wrote:
(Feb. 24, 2015  1:12 AM)UW Officer Wrote: I read all the episodes, but why is season 2 so dark?! Maxim kills his mother?! Naomi DIES?! That is pretty deep... It's good, but too evil Uncertain But it's still ok Smile

Yeah, I said that as well, the sudden change of tone is weird and drugs are involved in it, and it goes to some battle network type of beyblade game, so this series does go many directions but can't focus on any that well.
The change in tone I presume is to make the series "edgier" I guess but it overdoes it at first. It's probably an attempt to make it a deep story.

However, it's still enjoyable to read but man, Naomi dies without trying to get out?
Yup, she does, also, I eliminated the drugs. Now they're bey-parts Wink For a while though, it'll just be Neo, trapped in the game.
(Feb. 24, 2015  1:19 AM)MissKarat Wrote: Another problem is that some of the episodes aren't really Beyblade related. To your credit, I do really like the idea of putting your Beyblade into something to transport to the virtual world. That sounds pretty awesome and unique.
Thanks, but hey, I have crazy ideas.
Feb. 24, 2015  1:25 AM
 
The game idea is a good idea for a concept, I like it but the dark tone seems to work sometimes with it and not.

So is what HolyPhoenix5 said correct? Is it going to happen like that?

Anyway, I'm kinda reminded of cyber bit beasts for some reason.
Feb. 24, 2015  1:29 AM
 
(Feb. 24, 2015  1:25 AM)UW Detective Wrote: The game idea is a good idea for a concept, I like it but the dark tone seems to work sometimes with it and not.

So is what HolyPhoenix5 said correct? Is it going to happen like that?

Anyway, I'm kinda reminded of cyber bit beasts for some reason.
Thanks, and I'll PM the answer to your question. But nobody else.
Feb. 24, 2015  5:03 AM
 
carp! I was gonna do part 7, but I forgot to do my homework... dang.
Feb. 25, 2015  12:16 AM
 
ok... so I have a few parts I'm gonna be workin' on. (About 8 are gonna be added)

EDIT: I calculated wrong, 9 more parts.
Feb. 25, 2015  2:30 AM
 
Wait, so there is going to be 15 parts for series 2?
Feb. 25, 2015  3:14 AM
 
One of nine parts done, eight more to go.
(Feb. 25, 2015  2:30 AM)UW Detective Wrote: Wait, so there is going to be 15 parts for series 2?
No, I'm just working on parts 7-15 right now. (I finished part 7 just a second a go)
Feb. 25, 2015  4:30 AM
 
Again, like the previous parts, they have no relation to Beyblades except this one is even less relevant. This is called 'Beyblade Neo Frontline' is it not?

This isn't SAO no matter how much it sounds like it, this is Beyblade.
Feb. 25, 2015  5:35 AM
 
(Feb. 25, 2015  4:30 AM)MissKarat Wrote: Again, like the previous parts, they have no relation to Beyblades except this one is even less relevant. This is called 'Beyblade Neo Frontline' is it not?

This isn't SAO no matter how much it sounds like it, this is Beyblade.
(shush they can't know) besides like I said, beyblade's will take a bigger part later on. >_>
I'm gonna need to stuff season 2 into a large spoiler, filled with spoilers.
Feb. 25, 2015  4:04 PM
 
Done with part 8. Only seven more parts. (The reason I'm counting down to episode 15, is because it's one of my own personal favorite episodes in the series. A guy can enjoy his own series can't he!?)
Feb. 25, 2015  5:22 PM
 
So... They're not in cronological order but it counts down to your most favourites?
Feb. 26, 2015  12:30 AM
 
(Feb. 25, 2015  5:22 PM)UW Detective Wrote: So... They're not in cronological order but it counts down to your most favourites?
The series is all in chronological order. I'm counting down to Part 15 in season 2, because that'll be my favorite part. Like I said earlier, (in your thread) episode 15 will be the most light-hearted in the whole series (IMO) the darkest it gets in that part, is when it actually gets dark Tongue_out(you know, night time)
Feb. 26, 2015  12:31 AM
 
Nice idea, I like the dark tone too, but I would like to see what episode 15 gives.
Feb. 26, 2015  1:01 AM
 
After I'm done reading Jinbee's series (or UW Detective) I'll begin working on getting part 9 up.
Feb. 26, 2015  4:54 AM
 
I'm gonna have ask you to stop bumping this thread when no one else has posted since your last previous post. It's happened MANY times in this thread.
Feb. 26, 2015  6:21 AM
 
(Feb. 26, 2015  4:54 AM)Tri Wrote: I'm gonna have ask you to stop bumping this thread when no one else has posted since your last previous post. It's happened MANY times in this thread.
*sigh* K, I guess I'll bump after a week or so, if not much happens. I guess I'll just change the title, saying the newest part has been released. Sorry Smile
Mar. 01, 2015  5:28 AM
 
Quick update; I'm still working on Part 13, but I've began planning Part 14. Part 15 might be up by tomorrow, and then after that there will be another story arc (they'll still be trapped in the game don't worry, if you enjoy the game arc thing) then after that, there'll be yet another arc. Just something to be excited for I guess.

EDIT; If you have any questions, suggestions, or character ideas, PM me for the suggestions/characters, and just ask away if you have a question.
Mar. 10, 2015  4:00 AM
 
Ok. I was ballsy with Part 19. But to avoid spoilers, yes, it's staying like that. I know I made a bold decision, but it was bound to happen. Any questions?

EDIT: I will not be changing the part. FILE A COMPLAINT I SHALL IGNORE! MUHAAAHAHAHA! (also sorry for triple posting, but I knew people would complain about part 19, so, if I knew how, I'd delete my other posts. Pls understand. Don't hurt me and good night.) But before I leave to do my homework, I have to say, I worked on this part ALL DAY. So a lot of hard work was put into it, although, other writers, of other series will understand. One more thing though; The series will keep being what it was, although, I thought that the thing that happened in part 19 would add to story, and make things a bit more interesting.
Mar. 10, 2015  12:31 PM
 
I have warned you before of continuously double and triple posting. Once more and this thread will be closed.

Do not reapond to this in this thread. If you feel like you have to, PM me.
Mar. 10, 2015  12:31 PM
 
I just skimped over episode 19; there were no Beyblades (I'm pretty sure there wasn't, correct me if I'm wrong). This isn't really a Beyblade fan series anymore. I know you are going to ignore this, but it just really isn't that great anymore Uncertain
Mar. 10, 2015  12:36 PM
 
(Mar. 10, 2015  12:31 PM)Hato Wrote: I just skimped over episode 19; there were no Beyblades (I'm pretty sure there wasn't, correct me if I'm wrong). This isn't really a Beyblade fan series anymore. I know you are going to ignore this, but it just really isn't that great anymore Uncertain
Looks like you missed out on something great, besides it's still a beyblade fan series. Of course, you don't know yet, because I still need to develop it into the main plot.
Mar. 10, 2015  12:47 PM
 
(Mar. 10, 2015  12:36 PM)KirbyRobot Wrote:
(Mar. 10, 2015  12:31 PM)Hato Wrote: I just skimped over episode 19; there were no Beyblades (I'm pretty sure there wasn't, correct me if I'm wrong). This isn't really a Beyblade fan series anymore. I know you are going to ignore this, but it just really isn't that great anymore Uncertain
Looks like you missed out on something great, besides it's still a beyblade fan series. Of course, you don't know yet, because I still need to develop it into the main plot.

Uh... no. This isn't really a Beyblade series anymore like Hato said. This is a mediocre version of Sword Arts Online and that has little to nothing to do with Beyblade.
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