*sigh* I get this alot. Again, I said this in my argument with Neo/Dual. I try my best. And how am I supposed to get basic character development, in the first 3 parts? I already started, but just slightly. Also THE CHARACTER? Uhhh... okay? which character? If you mean Neo, I've already just started to expand on him, my best. As for Naomi, Jason, Maxim (I think, I don't really remember, it's been a while ), Neo's mother, and Neo's cousin? Well Naomi will get more of a backstory soon enough, and I want to keep Jason untouched for a while. Maxim won't really appear again for a while, but I intend on doing more with Dawson (Neo's cousin) and his Mother. Sorry gtg I have school



ALSO, when I get back from school I'm doing an unboxing of a MegaRing on my channel. Then I will try to get part 4 out.

thats your problem, you cant just throw too much about the character straight away, you want to show the character fully too quickly, instead of doing it a few episodes.

If you want to boot your full character right out then that's fine but it's not as good of and development as we would like, anyways it's my opinion.

WHAT CHARACTER ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!?? SRSLY!? WHO!!????

Neo, of course....

Also don't type in all caps because it makes you look too angry and raged up.

this....needs a lot of work.....too much grammatical errors and the story doesn't develop the character in the right pace.

*sigh* I get this alot. Again, I said this in my argument with Neo/Dual. I try my best. And how am I supposed to get basic character development, in the first 3 parts? I already started, but just slightly. Also THE CHARACTER? Uhhh... okay? which character? If you mean Neo, I've already just started to expand on him, my best. As for Naomi, Jason, Maxim (I think, I don't really remember, it's been a while ), Neo's mother, and Neo's cousin? Well Naomi will get more of a backstory soon enough, and I want to keep Jason untouched for a while. Maxim won't really appear again for a while, but I intend on doing more with Dawson (Neo's cousin) and his Mother. Sorry gtg I have school



ALSO, when I get back from school I'm doing an unboxing of a MegaRing on my channel. Then I will try to get part 4 out.

thats your problem, you cant just throw too much about the character straight away, you want to show the character fully too quickly, instead of doing it a few episodes.

If you want to boot your full character right out then that's fine but it's not as good of and development as we would like, anyways it's my opinion.

Ah yeah I see what you mean.

---

My Cho-Z Reaper Deathscyther .12.Cr concept render, click below to see!

Spoiler (Click to View)

No I don't plan on doing more yet.

I should probably go back to making fan custom Zero G beyblade concepts again

From here on out, I don't want any complaints about my characters, or PLOT. Grammar and english mistakes you can point out but I own the series. I can develop a character more if I want. If you want to find out how the character looks in MY mind, wait 'till the end of the series. When I finish I will create a picture of ALL of the characters, including their beys. So, I will look over replies, any complaints about the story plot, I WILL SKIP OVER. Any complaints about character development, I WILL SKIP OVER. Okay? OK. I'm not trying to be a pain in the neck, so please don't be offended. ALSO! As for help with the series, I might PM you if I want help, you will get credit for Supporting Story Writer. But most the time, I won't need help. I appreciate the praise and criticism (got down the definition. Mixed it up with another word sorry ). FINALLY! Don't ask to be included, if I want to include you, I will PM you, another thing to add for my last bit is, DO NOT ASK FOR YOUR OC TO BE INCLUDED!!!!!!!! I WILL ASK YOU IF YOU WANT YOUR OC INCLUDED IN NEO FRONTLINE. Okay I'm done https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mNrXMOSkBas (watch this video with your eyes closed pls)

Heh perhaps I'll make Capricorn Shock as my Mecha Sentoki Beyblade haha

I'm only joking, but I think the story is still good, and just keep doing it, I will inked grammatical errors as long as can just sit down and read the atory.

---

My Cho-Z Reaper Deathscyther .12.Cr concept render, click below to see!

Spoiler (Click to View)

No I don't plan on doing more yet.

I should probably go back to making fan custom Zero G beyblade concepts again

From here on out, I don't want any complaints about my characters, or PLOT. Grammar and english mistakes you can point out but I own the series. I can develop a character more if I want. If you want to find out how the character looks in MY mind, wait 'till the end of the series. When I finish I will create a picture of ALL of the characters, including their beys. So, I will look over replies, any complaints about the story plot, I WILL SKIP OVER. Any complaints about character development, I WILL SKIP OVER. Okay? OK. I'm not trying to be a pain in the neck, so please don't be offended. ALSO! As for help with the series, I might PM you if I want help, you will get credit for Supporting Story Writer. But most the time, I won't need help. I appreciate the praise and criticism (got down the definition. Mixed it up with another word sorry ). FINALLY! Don't ask to be included, if I want to include you, I will PM you, another thing to add for my last bit is, DO NOT ASK FOR YOUR OC TO BE INCLUDED!!!!!!!! I WILL ASK YOU IF YOU WANT YOUR OC INCLUDED IN NEO FRONTLINE. Okay I'm done https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mNrXMOSkBas (watch this video with your eyes closed pls)

I don't think you of all people can tell people what they can write and cannot write

I only say this because your not a mod (nor am I) and therefore you don't have power over what people write.

From here on out, I don't want any complaints about my characters, or PLOT. Grammar and english mistakes you can point out but I own the series. I can develop a character more if I want. If you want to find out how the character looks in MY mind, wait 'till the end of the series. When I finish I will create a picture of ALL of the characters, including their beys. So, I will look over replies, any complaints about the story plot, I WILL SKIP OVER. Any complaints about character development, I WILL SKIP OVER. Okay? OK. I'm not trying to be a pain in the neck, so please don't be offended. ALSO! As for help with the series, I might PM you if I want help, you will get credit for Supporting Story Writer. But most the time, I won't need help. I appreciate the praise and criticism (got down the definition. Mixed it up with another word sorry ). FINALLY! Don't ask to be included, if I want to include you, I will PM you, another thing to add for my last bit is, DO NOT ASK FOR YOUR OC TO BE INCLUDED!!!!!!!! I WILL ASK YOU IF YOU WANT YOUR OC INCLUDED IN NEO FRONTLINE. Okay I'm done https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mNrXMOSkBas (watch this video with your eyes closed pls)

I don't think you of all people can tell people what they can write and cannot write

I only say this because your not a mod (nor am I) and therefore you don't have power over what people write.

Is this about me or HolyPhoenix5?

---

My Cho-Z Reaper Deathscyther .12.Cr concept render, click below to see!

Spoiler (Click to View)

No I don't plan on doing more yet.

I should probably go back to making fan custom Zero G beyblade concepts again

From here on out, I don't want any complaints about my characters, or PLOT. Grammar and english mistakes you can point out but I own the series. I can develop a character more if I want. If you want to find out how the character looks in MY mind, wait 'till the end of the series. When I finish I will create a picture of ALL of the characters, including their beys. So, I will look over replies, any complaints about the story plot, I WILL SKIP OVER. Any complaints about character development, I WILL SKIP OVER. Okay? OK. I'm not trying to be a pain in the neck, so please don't be offended. ALSO! As for help with the series, I might PM you if I want help, you will get credit for Supporting Story Writer. But most the time, I won't need help. I appreciate the praise and criticism (got down the definition. Mixed it up with another word sorry ). FINALLY! Don't ask to be included, if I want to include you, I will PM you, another thing to add for my last bit is, DO NOT ASK FOR YOUR OC TO BE INCLUDED!!!!!!!! I WILL ASK YOU IF YOU WANT YOUR OC INCLUDED IN NEO FRONTLINE. Okay I'm done https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mNrXMOSkBas (watch this video with your eyes closed pls)

I don't think you of all people can tell people what they can write and cannot write

I only say this because your not a mod (nor am I) and therefore you don't have power over what people write.

Is this about me or HolyPhoenix5?

This is about Kirby

From here on out, I don't want any complaints about my characters, or PLOT. Grammar and english mistakes you can point out but I own the series. I can develop a character more if I want. If you want to find out how the character looks in MY mind, wait 'till the end of the series. When I finish I will create a picture of ALL of the characters, including their beys. So, I will look over replies, any complaints about the story plot, I WILL SKIP OVER. Any complaints about character development, I WILL SKIP OVER. Okay? OK. I'm not trying to be a pain in the neck, so please don't be offended.

It's called criticism, not complaints. If you don't want people to tell you how you can make your story better, why are you posting it here?

---

“In the course of twenty crowded years, one parts with many illusions. I did not wish to lose the early ones. Some memories are realities, and are better than anything that can ever happen again.” -Jim Burden (My Ántonia)

Cool! It's not about me!

Anyways, I think you should nicely ask someone to give criticisms more civilized, if you hate complaints that much.

The reason I do OK is because I learn from Fan Series masters like Dual, and get advice from him and others, it helps.

---

My Cho-Z Reaper Deathscyther .12.Cr concept render, click below to see!

Spoiler (Click to View)

No I don't plan on doing more yet.

I should probably go back to making fan custom Zero G beyblade concepts again

KirbyRobot...calm down! If someone wants to point out flaws to make the series better then you cannot stop them. What did you make this thread for? To show off and expect the thread to blossom entirely with compliments?

i think the big problem is the characters identities are focused more than it's storyline, so I am not sure what's going on.

i think the big problem is the characters identities are focused more than it's storyline, so I am not sure what's going on.

I'm so confused.

Disclaimer; Part 4 is canceled, for now. I don't feel like getting anymore out there right now. But feel free to point out mistakes, I'll fix 'em up. If I ever do feel like finishing the series it may only go on to part 6. -Kirby

EDIT; To fix things up a bit, I've made a list of 12 different replies

Kindness in Criticism

Spoiler (Click to View)

6
Dear <insert name> you actually made Kirby smile! Congratulations you have made his and my day better. -Pinkie Pie
5
Dear <insert name> thank you for being nice, but try to be more kind next time. -Apple Jack
4
Dear <insert name> you were kind but not kind enough, you didn't make Kirby feel to great. Try to be more generous. -Rarity
3
Dear <insert name> you made Kirby not want to accept criticism and help. Try to be nicer. -Twilight Sparkle
2
Dear <insert name> you hurt Kirby's feelings! Not cool bro, I think you need to meet fluttershy. - Rainbow Dash
1
You made Kirby cry! That's very very bad. That's even worse then assertive Fluttershy. You should be ashamed. -Fluttershy

Understanding in criticism

Spoiler (Click to View)

6
You clearly explained where Kirby went wrong, pointed out, and told him how to fix it. -Twilight Sparkle
5
You pointed out where Kirby went wrong and what he did wrong. -Rarity
4
You noted the mistake Kirby made, and pointed out the sentence. -Fluttershy
3
You pointed out a sentence with the problem, asked to fix it. -Apple Jack
2
You said there is a problem with a sentence, didn't point it out, asked to fix it. -Pinkie Pie
1
You said that there are some problems, and to polish it without saying where Kirby went wrong, or what the mistake is. -Rainbow Dash

Ultimately everybody is at a 3 with kindness in criticism but some are 4-5 someone actually got a 1 too. As for understanding 95% is 1, the rest is 2.

what's with the kindness ratings?

i thought you said you would ignore other criticism???

what's with the kindness ratings?

i thought you said you would ignore other criticism???

You know what!? The kindness ratings, are how polite/kind you are with critism. A 6 is great, it means you weren't rude. A 1 is something like this "Omg this story sucks it has waaaay to much grammar mistakes, requesting mod lock." Not something very nice to say. I'd think you'd understand "Kindness in Criticism" sorry for being a bunghole.

what's with the kindness ratings?

i thought you said you would ignore other criticism???

You know what!? The kindness ratings, are how polite/kind you are with critism. A 6 is great, it means you weren't rude. A 1 is something like this "Omg this story sucks it has waaaay to much grammar mistakes, requesting mod lock." Not something very nice to say. I'd think you'd understand "Kindness in Criticism" sorry for being a bunghole.

errr you say many people are 1 in kindness, yet no-one is THAT bad and no one asked his to be closed.

We're trying to help you but you are the one rude to us.

I'd like to know what rating we each got.

---

[Image: 11lo4gp.jpg]
Credit goes to good ol' Packers!

Look, we'll try to be nicer in the future, as long as you do the same.

---

My Cho-Z Reaper Deathscyther .12.Cr concept render, click below to see!

Spoiler (Click to View)

No I don't plan on doing more yet.

I should probably go back to making fan custom Zero G beyblade concepts again

Also one thing;this might get closed if people kept arguing.

---

Also one thing;this might get closed if people kept arguing.

I honestly don't want that to happen, this series has potential so we shall stop arguing, though Kirby sometimes takes it too harshly.

EDIT: Or I just work on Neo frontline for him haha.

---

My Cho-Z Reaper Deathscyther .12.Cr concept render, click below to see!

Spoiler (Click to View)

No I don't plan on doing more yet.

I should probably go back to making fan custom Zero G beyblade concepts again

I read over and polished the story a bit, if you notice any mistakes (in grammar) notify me. Sorry everybody, I was a huge bunghole before.

---

Also one thing;this might get closed if people kept arguing.

I honestly don't want that to happen, this series has potential so we shall stop arguing, though Kirby sometimes takes it too harshly.

EDIT: Or I just work on Neo frontline for him haha.

Yeah, I'm kind of sensitive. So some things urk me a bit more than others.

Part 4 might be coming today! That is if my laptop wants to be done charging. But when part 4 does come out, it will be extra long, and hopefully have no grammar problems

EDIT; going to ask some peeps to help with this one! I'm going to need it. So if you want to help pm me.

Part 4 sneak-peek coming out! Part 4 will (hopefully) get released soon, with the help of DUAL the great! And Jinbee! But what role will they play in the helping of the part of the series!? You'll see :3

EDIT; DUAL it's too busy

Wait what? I said I couldn't even though I liked to. Like I said, I can't even work on my own stories I'm so busy. Sorry.

---

“In the course of twenty crowded years, one parts with many illusions. I did not wish to lose the early ones. Some memories are realities, and are better than anything that can ever happen again.” -Jim Burden (My Ántonia)

Wait what? I said I couldn't even though I liked to. Like I said, I can't even work on my own stories I'm so busy. Sorry.

oh, ok

What do I do for this story then? Do I help write? Make a character? What is it?

---

My Cho-Z Reaper Deathscyther .12.Cr concept render, click below to see!

Spoiler (Click to View)

No I don't plan on doing more yet.

I should probably go back to making fan custom Zero G beyblade concepts again