Beyblade Burst Spirit (Character Contest Over, Winners Announced)

(Sep. 17, 2020  12:19 AM)CheetoBlader Wrote:
(Sep. 17, 2020  12:18 AM)kai edits Wrote: I misclicked just now smh.
How did you misclick? What did you misclick?

This is getting spicy. And a bit outta hand, almost popcorn worthy. Almost.
(Sep. 17, 2020  1:39 AM)The Blacknight Wrote:
(Sep. 17, 2020  12:19 AM)CheetoBlader Wrote: How did you misclick? What did you misclick?

This is getting spicy. And a bit outta hand, almost popcorn worthy. Almost.

Agreed. But it’s 🅱️ Worthy
Character Name Reveals #3:
Odjiso Aryak
Relanzo Qurano
Vinera Guilder
Bhavesh Agate

But the questions are: who is the main character, or is the main character even listed? Are all of them main characters? How much “screen time” will each of them get? Just some food for thought.

Next update will be on Thursday, unless this post gets three likes. Then it’ll be Tuesday. (Not to “like beg” or anything like that. Just sayin’)
(Sep. 18, 2020  7:25 PM)CheetoBlader Wrote: Character Name Reveals #3:
Odjiso Aryak
Relanzo Qurano
Vinera Guilder    
Bhavesh Agate  

But the questions are: who is the main character, or is the main character even listed? Are all of them main characters? How much “screen time” will each of them get? Just some food for thought.

Next update will be on Thursday, unless this post gets three likes. Then it’ll be Tuesday. (Not to “like beg” or anything like that. Just sayin’)

wait so are these owl house characters(don't watch owl house so idk)
(Sep. 18, 2020  7:27 PM)The Blacknight Wrote:
(Sep. 18, 2020  7:25 PM)CheetoBlader Wrote: Character Name Reveals #3:
Odjiso Aryak
Relanzo Qurano
Vinera Guilder    
Bhavesh Agate  

But the questions are: who is the main character, or is the main character even listed? Are all of them main characters? How much “screen time” will each of them get? Just some food for thought.

Next update will be on Thursday, unless this post gets three likes. Then it’ll be Tuesday. (Not to “like beg” or anything like that. Just sayin’)

wait so are these owl house characters(don't watch owl house so idk)
No? Read the thread smh
(Sep. 18, 2020  7:27 PM)The Blacknight Wrote:
(Sep. 18, 2020  7:25 PM)CheetoBlader Wrote: Character Name Reveals #3:
Odjiso Aryak
Relanzo Qurano
Vinera Guilder    
Bhavesh Agate  

But the questions are: who is the main character, or is the main character even listed? Are all of them main characters? How much “screen time” will each of them get? Just some food for thought.

Next update will be on Thursday, unless this post gets three likes. Then it’ll be Tuesday. (Not to “like beg” or anything like that. Just sayin’)

wait so are these owl house characters(don't watch owl house so idk)

They're not Owl House character. But, you should watch the owl house because I'm totally not advertising it right now. Even if they were owl house characters. I don't see Hooty in here.
(Sep. 18, 2020  7:29 PM)CheetoBlader Wrote:
(Sep. 18, 2020  7:27 PM)The Blacknight Wrote: wait so are these owl house characters(don't watch owl house so idk)
No? Read the thread smh

sorry, u said maybe owl house themed so i was confused

(Sep. 18, 2020  7:32 PM)GreenK9148 Wrote:
(Sep. 18, 2020  7:27 PM)The Blacknight Wrote: wait so are these owl house characters(don't watch owl house so idk)

They're not Owl House character. But, you should watch the owl house because I'm totally not advertising it right now. Even if they were owl house characters. I don't see Hooty in here.

ill try after i finish gravity falls
Also, if anyone wants it, they can I guess put their names down for pings when a chapter is posted, or an update.
(Sep. 18, 2020  11:35 PM)CheetoBlader Wrote: Also, if anyone wants it, they can I guess put their names down for pings when a chapter is posted, or an update.

Yeah, ping me down for it.
(Sep. 18, 2020  11:36 PM)GreenK9148 Wrote:
(Sep. 18, 2020  11:35 PM)CheetoBlader Wrote: Also, if anyone wants it, they can I guess put their names down for pings when a chapter is posted, or an update.

Yeah, ping me down for it.

Alright, got it
Here’s the update I promised.

So uh, yeah I finished all of the planning for this, and uh now the writing begins. I have a lot of work done on chapter one, and will be working on it more throughout the week. So yeah.
I’ve been procrastinating on this a bit, but if I get motivation, or if it’s comfortable enough, and if I can’t really do schoolwork, then I’ll do some writing in the car. Really excited to post the chapters eventually though.
Number of chapters reveal is in this post so yay

25 Chapters will be in this so yeah I dunno what else to say lol
I think I’ll take a few character requests for a bit later on in the story. I might use them, so I guess PM me to request characters, but please no trolls.
Hai so I finished the first chapter in the car yesterday and I would’ve started chapter two but it was too dark and my eyes would die because of the white screen but yeah here it is but it has indents and stuff instead of line breaks so I hope that’s fine. About 1.8K words so yay. Lemme know what you think, honest opinions only.

I hope you enjoy!
Chapter One (Click to View)
i really like this beyblade burst spirit thing...ITS AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Smile Smile Smile Smile Smile Smile Smile Smile Smile Smile Smile Smile Smile Smile Smile Smile Smile Smile Smile Smile Smile Smile Smile Smile Smile Smile
(Oct. 07, 2020  8:46 PM)CheetoBlader Wrote: Hai so I finished the first chapter in the car yesterday and I would’ve started chapter two but it was too dark and my eyes would die because of the white screen but yeah here it is but it has indents and stuff instead of line breaks so I hope that’s fine. About 1.8K words so yay. Lemme know what you think, honest opinions only.

I hope you enjoy!
Chapter One (Click to View)

Nice chapter I am looking forward to seeing more.
Fun fact, I’ve had many many many ideas that will be in this for a while. Some for years. Very excited to get the ideas out. :3
So I’m trying to clean up the OP, and uh, the spoiler tagging system for that one post is broken so uh…
I have a idea for some characters/beys that would really go with the theme for this series

If your interest CheetoBlader
(Oct. 11, 2020  9:02 PM)Golden Freddy Wrote: I have a idea for some characters/beys that would really go with the theme for this series

If your interest CheetoBlader

Well I do have character submissions open, so sure. But you don’t know the theme of this series aha. It only just started. But, go ahead.

Also um BuilderROB if you don’t mind, could you give a small rating based off of the rewrite of chapter one? I wanna see the difference lol
(Oct. 11, 2020  11:42 PM)CheetoBlader Wrote:
(Oct. 11, 2020  9:02 PM)Golden Freddy Wrote: I have a idea for some characters/beys that would really go with the theme for this series

If your interest CheetoBlader

Well I do have character submissions open, so sure. But you don’t know the theme of this series aha. It only just started. But, go ahead.

Also um BuilderROB if you don’t mind, could you give a small rating based off of the rewrite of chapter one? I wanna see the difference lol

The Fan Fiction Critic has been summoned.

Beyblade Burst Spirit
Grammar: 5/5
Story: 4/5
Characters: 5/5
Dialogue: 5/5
Length: 5/5

Total: 24/25

The story is a bit unclear at the moment, which is fine, since this is the first chapter, which is near perfect in terms of Beyblade fan fictions. The characters actually have a bit of depth, and I can see that Reagan probably comes from a higher class family due to the dialogue clues. The grammar was near perfect, although I did notice a few dialogue sentences which were technically somewhat wrong, although that may be a bit of me being picky with grammar. Length is great, and dialogue is also great.
(Oct. 12, 2020  12:40 AM)BuilderROB Wrote:
(Oct. 11, 2020  11:42 PM)CheetoBlader Wrote: Well I do have character submissions open, so sure. But you don’t know the theme of this series aha. It only just started. But, go ahead.

Also um BuilderROB if you don’t mind, could you give a small rating based off of the rewrite of chapter one? I wanna see the difference lol

The Fan Fiction Critic has been summoned.

Beyblade Burst Spirit
Grammar: 5/5
Story: 4/5
Characters: 5/5
Dialogue: 5/5
Length: 5/5

Total: 24/25

The story is a bit unclear at the moment, which is fine, since this is the first chapter, which is near perfect in terms of Beyblade fan fictions. The characters actually have a bit of depth, and I can see that Reagan probably comes from a higher class family due to the dialogue clues. The grammar was near perfect, although I did notice a few dialogue sentences which were technically somewhat wrong, although that may be a bit of me being picky with grammar. Length is great, and dialogue is also great.
Glad you liked it! Could you possibly tell me which things seemed grammatically incorrect in PMs? But thank you aha. It’s nice to know what I’m doing right and what I’m doing wrong.
(Oct. 11, 2020  11:42 PM)CheetoBlader Wrote:
(Oct. 11, 2020  9:02 PM)Golden Freddy Wrote: I have a idea for some characters/beys that would really go with the theme for this series

If your interest CheetoBlader

Well I do have character submissions open, so sure. But you don’t know the theme of this series aha. It only just started. But, go ahead.

Also um BuilderROB if you don’t mind, could you give a small rating based off of the rewrite of chapter one? I wanna see the difference lol

Well why I think it goes with the theme is because this beyblade is just a spirit. The owner of the beyblade is a projection made by the beyblade.

But these are the names of the beyblade that I thought of you can choose which one you like the best. But each name has a different version of the origins of it and has its own parts that goes with the character.

Here are the names:
. golden freddy
. withered golden Freddy
. shadow freddy
. phantom golden freddy
. phantom shadow freddy
. nightmare fredbear
. nightmare
. Fredbear
. Dreadbear
. Frostbear
(Oct. 12, 2020  12:49 AM)Golden Freddy Wrote:
(Oct. 11, 2020  11:42 PM)CheetoBlader Wrote: Well I do have character submissions open, so sure. But you don’t know the theme of this series aha. It only just started. But, go ahead.

Also um BuilderROB if you don’t mind, could you give a small rating based off of the rewrite of chapter one? I wanna see the difference lol

Well why I think it goes with the theme is because this beyblade is just a spirit. The owner of the beyblade is a projection made by the beyblade.

But these are the names of the beyblade that I thought of you can choose which one you like the best. But each name has a different version of the origins of it and has its own parts that goes with the character.

Here are the names:
. golden freddy
. withered golden Freddy
. shadow freddy
. phantom golden freddy
. phantom shadow freddy
. nightmare fredbear
. nightmare
. Fredbear
. Dreadbear
. Frostbear
Yeah, I’m not including FNaF in my story but thanks for taking the time to post here.