Beybalde Burst Turbo-Z

Chapter 1: Marty vs Jake 
So what do you guys think, I'm open to characters to add to the story,
(Apr. 05, 2019  9:31 PM)NobodyBlader Wrote: Chapter 1: Marty and Jake [Spoilers=]
For the past 3 years, Marty (16) has been the world champion with his bey Cho-Z Valkyrie.Blitz.Ultimate Reboot but now a new generation of bladers join the fight and this is the story of The New Generation. 

In America, Marty walked up to the bey stadium. 
“Boys and Girl, It is the Beyblade World Champion Marty Alpha, today his opponent will be Jake Omega(15).” Said the Announcer Jake walked up to the stadium and smiled at Marty. “Marty will his Cho-Z Valkyrie.Bl.Ul vs Jake with his Cho-Z Achilles.4Turn.Xt, will Jake be able to defeat Marty. “You’re going down,” said Jake as he put Achilles on his launcher. Marty smiled as he put Valkryie on his. “Jake you can beat him” yelled Takio, Jake’s little brother who was 13. Jake sighed   
The ref said “Ready Set” Marty and Jake both said “3,2,1 Go Shoot” Valkyrie and
Achilles flew into the stadium. They Circled each other.

“Achilles, show them what we got, Cho-Z Sword” Achilles glowed a bright red. 

“Valkyrie, time for Cho-Z Blade” Valkyrie glowed a bright blue and the clashed into each other. 

Valkyrie’s and Achilles avatar clashed Swords. Achilles was sent flying back in the wall. 

“We’re not done here Achilles, Cho-Z Slash. Achilles rashed after, Valkyrie. 

“Valkyrie, Cho-Z Flash Shoot” Valkyrie hit the tornado rim and speed up. And chased after Achilles. 

“Achilles, Cho-Z Shield” Achilles took the center as its shields on the layer glowed yellow. 

“Valkyrie, Cho-Z Blade” The points on blitz came up and Ul activated and Valkyrie zoom towards the middle. Valkyrie crashed into Achilles. A huge surge of power came of them

“Don’t give up Achilles, show them how strong our Defense is” Yelled Jake Achilles avatar was holding up and shield and Valkyrie’s avatar was hitting the shield with his sword. Achilles layer cracked as it was sent flying out of the stadium. 

“One Point to Marty for an over finish. Jake picked up Achilles and up it on his launcher not seeing the crack. 
“Come on Brother beat him, you and Achilles are stronger than them, keep your promise to me” yelled Takio. 
“I will,” said Jake as he looks at Marty, Marty could see Achilles standing behind him. Marty smiled. “Yes let's finish this” [/Spoilers]

So what do you guys think, I'm open to characters to add to the story,

Replace Spoilers with spoiler, no plural
(Apr. 05, 2019  9:33 PM)Dt20000 Wrote:
(Apr. 05, 2019  9:31 PM)NobodyBlader Wrote: Chapter 1: Marty and Jake


So what do you guys think, I'm open to characters to add to the story,

Replace Spoilers with spoiler, no plural

Thanks, so what do you think so far?
(Apr. 05, 2019  9:34 PM)NobodyBlader Wrote:
(Apr. 05, 2019  9:33 PM)Dt20000 Wrote: Replace Spoilers with spoiler, no plural

Thanks, so what do you think so far?

I like it
Great Story! Thanks for Sharing,
(Apr. 05, 2019  9:31 PM)NobodyBlader Wrote: Chapter 1: Marty vs Jake 
So what do you guys think, I'm open to characters to add to the story,
Nice story! I think Achilles will break then Jake will get a new non-generic BEYBLADE!


Also Can you put Roan in the story?
(Apr. 06, 2019  2:52 AM)CheetoBlader Wrote:
(Apr. 05, 2019  9:31 PM)NobodyBlader Wrote: Chapter 1: Marty vs Jake 
So what do you guys think, I'm open to characters to add to the story,
Nice story! I think Achilles will break then Jake will get a new non-generic BEYBLADE!


Also Can you put Roan in the story?

I hate to ask, but who is Roan? And if I did add him, would you be fine if he had Bloody Longnuis?

Chapter 2
How do you guys like Chapter 2?
(Apr. 06, 2019  5:08 AM)NobodyBlader Wrote:
(Apr. 06, 2019  2:52 AM)CheetoBlader Wrote: Nice story! I think Achilles will break then Jake will get a new non-generic BEYBLADE!


Also Can you put Roan in the story?

I hate to ask, but who is Roan? And if I did add him, would you be fine if he had Bloody Longnuis?


Roan is the MC of my story. (In my Signature).


Also I would prefer if he had his BEYBLADE but I don’t care too much. SmileSmileSmileSmileSmile
(Apr. 10, 2019  12:59 AM)CheetoBlader Wrote:
(Apr. 06, 2019  5:08 AM)NobodyBlader Wrote: I hate to ask, but who is Roan? And if I did add him, would you be fine if he had Bloody Longnuis?


Roan is the MC of my story. (In my Signature).


Also I would prefer if he had his BEYBLADE but I don’t care too much. SmileSmileSmileSmileSmile

Well the thing is I don’t want fan beys no offense
(Apr. 10, 2019  1:38 AM)NobodyBlader Wrote:
(Apr. 10, 2019  12:59 AM)CheetoBlader Wrote: Roan is the MC of my story. (In my Signature).


Also I would prefer if he had his BEYBLADE but I don’t care too much. SmileSmileSmileSmileSmile

Well the thing is I don’t want fan beys no offense
Okay that’s good!
Chapter 3