BeyBlade Story: Getting Back to the Top[PG]

Poll: You happy to see me writing one more time? :D

TOTALLY!!!
80.00%
8
Eh.
0%
0
NO!!!
20.00%
2
Total: 100% 10 vote(s)
Yep, that's right, I'm back for one more story with Miles and friends. I know, I didn't finish my last one, but I swear, this one will make it all up!!!

As usual, Chapters will be posted in order, and I only want negative feedback if it is constructive and helpful.

Chapters:
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8 Warning: Suggestive Content
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11 Warning: Some blood.
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Just a few things, in the second sentence(?) it says say instead of sat, and in the last sentence it says Tails instead of Miles XD
But...
YESSSSS! YOU'RE BACK, WOO-HOO!
I'm so excited for this story, great chapter and can't wait for the next one!!!!!
I haven't read any of your other stories, but this is quite good. I would like to help any way I can.
(Aug. 28, 2013  1:19 PM)Ultramarine Wrote: Just a few things, in the second sentence(?) it says say instead of sat, and in the last sentence it says Tails instead of Miles XD
But...
YESSSSS! YOU'RE BACK, WOO-HOO!
I'm so excited for this story, great chapter and can't wait for the next one!!!!!

Yup, sorry bout the mistake, I was looking up Sonic X episodes on YouTube before I wrote this. XD

But yeah, I'm making this my last story with Miles and the others.

Also, I plan on having Chapter 2 up soon! Maybe later today. Grin
Very nice to see that you're back to story writing! We have high expectations for you!

The story is very descriptive! Waiting for more excitement throughout the story! The suspense is killer! Grin
Here's Chapter 2!!!

This is some sweet work, I can't wait for the next chapter!
Here's Chapter 3!! Grin

Towards the middle of the story, you wrote Tails instead of Miles again XD
But it's really awesome so far! Keep it up!
(Aug. 29, 2013  1:03 PM)Ultramarine Wrote: Towards the middle of the story, you wrote Tails instead of Miles again XD
But it's really awesome so far! Keep it up!

I swear to the great and powerful Bey Brad, I need to stop watching Sonic X when I write these stories. XD

I got it.
This story is really good, and I'll be sure to be following it to the end.
Great story man. The latet chapter was amazing. Can't wait for some more.
Here's Chapter 4!! Grin

Sorry for double post, but here's chapter 5!

Sorry for a TRIPLE post (come on, guys, help me out here), but I have Chapter 6!!!

There's just one thing that confuses me. Miles has Genbull Dragooon, but he keeps calling it Pegasis.
Also, what I noticed was you would do this sometimes:
"Heh, [insert line here]"

"Heh, [insert line here]"

It's really minor though. Great story, keep it up!
(Aug. 31, 2013  12:54 PM)Ultramarine Wrote: There's just one thing that confuses me. Miles has Genbull Dragooon, but he keeps calling it Pegasis.
Also, what I noticed was you would do this sometimes:
"Heh, [insert line here]"

"Heh, [insert line here]"

It's really minor though. Great story, keep it up!

Oh yeah, I forgot to clarify this to all of the viewers:

I am making Miles call Genbull Dragoon "Pegasis" on PURPOSE. I know, it's weird, but it's because of what is revealed in the next chapter. You have to stay tuned til the next one to fully understand why I did that.

Also, I kinda rushed this chapter. Next one will be better.
Sorry bout double post, here's chapter 7!! Grin

Very nice to see that you're back to story writing!
Here's Chapter 8!! WARNING: There is content that may be suggestive to viewers under the age of 12, but just take that into consideration. It's not anything sexual or anything, just one minor part.

Good work so far, try and keep the chapter length consistent.
In chapter 5 you might want to change 10,00 to 10,000 and somewhere in chapter 8 you just put the letter n.
Edit:The time I saw it in chapter 5 was the post not the OP.
Thank you for pointing those out, Thunder Dome. Made the corrections.

Here's Chapter 9!! Grin

Oh come on... I hate it when people leave it hanging! Awesome story so far, pm me whenever you need help.
Here's Chapter 10! Grin