Bey Story: The Elusive Ghost (Co-Written By Sparta)

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Total: 100% 63 vote(s)
(Apr. 08, 2011  11:58 AM)Dracovianauis Wrote: Character request pls

Name: Izuma Inzori
Name: Sonai Inzori
Name: Hatachi Inzori
Name: Rez Inzori

also, could i help you write? i have some of the best narative stories in my class

R u gonna use them?
(Dec. 18, 2010  3:52 AM)Titan Blader Wrote: This is my first beyblade story and my first public story ever, So this might nt be too great.
Prologue

"Go Capricorne!!!" yelled an 11 year boy. Two beys were clashing violently. One was Rock Capricorne 100 FS. The other was Killer Leone C145 RF. "Come on Mason, you're going to have to do better than that!!" yelled another boy. "Micah, you're awfully cocky for someone who's been blading for only a month! Special Move, Rock Horn Smash!!!!!!" The bey charged at Leone, leaning forward unti he hit his opponent. Then it tilted up, knocking Leone into the sky. "Come on, you said you wouldn't use your special move on me until I have one!" said Micah. "You have no proof!" Mason said.
"Why don't you battle me?" said a mysterious voice. "Of course I will!!" said Micah. "I think he was talking to me Micah." "I was talking to both of you!" said the voice. A hooded figure swooped down from a tree. He had a warped mask covering half his face. He pulled out an amazing bey. The metal wheel was black with splashes of silver.(or was it the other way around) The man said "My name is Ghost. This is my bey, Intangible Ghost DP145 XF." "What does DP stand for?" asked Mason. "Disapear." replied Ghost. "I speak for both of us when I say we accept!" said Mason. Everyone readied their launchers and said "3, 2, 1, Let It Rip!!!!"

awsome storyStupid
I'll try to fit yours in Draco. And thanks ta daaa!
double thanks, and also, one of the BETTER stories here, also please read my story, S.B.B.A.I. Thx
PRETTY please continue. It's getting intresting.
What made you think I wasn't going to continue? I know some writers like Night stop abruptly, but I'm dedicated to this story. I may do some side stories, but this will always be the main one.
(May. 20, 2011  12:09 PM)Titan Blader Wrote: I'll try to fit yours in Draco. And thanks ta daaa!

ur story is getting addictiveEee
Titan Blader told me to post this. It's the next chapter!

The hulking boy stood there, eyeing each one of them. Eventually, he pointed a stubby finger at Micah. The air stunk of hot dogs and motor oil. When he had thought about what he would say, he said "You, battle me or else!". Micah was caught off guard. His bey had fallen out of the train when they were first attacked. He replied by saying "Um, no. I don't have a bey anymore.". Then Mason piped up and said "You can battle me instead!". It was probably one of the dumbest things ever, but for some reason the wall of meat agreed to battle Mason instead. "3, 2, 1, let it rip!". The enemy's bey had a strange attack pattern. It zigged, zagged, and then went straight. The opponent angrily said "Go Gear Leone! Break his bey into pieces!". Leone charged straight for Ghost. The first impact was brutal. It seemed like a bit of Ghost was knocked off. Ghost countered by by letting Leone get near it, and then force smashing it. Mason noticed that the Gear wheel had two gears on it. Ghost was dominating from then on. Leone was being knocked around everywhere, but then things went south. The teen had enough. He yelled "Go, Cyclone Claw!". The bottom gear started spinning counter-clockwise while the top one stayed normal. Leone charged, and it seemed to have more weight behind it now. When it hit, Ghost nearly stopped spinning altogether. Mason seemed finished, but Mason remembered Todd. For some reason, the thought of Todd made him keep trying harder. He remembered a move that would save his butt. He yelled "Special move, Ultra Phantom Twister!!!". Ghost began spinning faster and faster. Eventually, a tornado had sucked up Leone. Leone was then spit out, but not toward the beast Mason had been battling. Micah caught it. Mason turned to the teen and said "You have some explaining to do."

Personally, I think Titan Blader is a great writer. He obviously has some things to improve on, but unlike most writers here he can actually tell a story with text (that's what writing is!). Review!
(May. 25, 2011  2:13 AM)Sparta Wrote: Titan Blader told me to post this. It's the next chapter!

The hulking boy stood there, eyeing each one of them. Eventually, he pointed a stubby finger at Micah. The air stunk of hot dogs and motor oil. When he had thought about what he would say, he said "You, battle me or else!". Micah was caught off guard. His bey had fallen out of the train when they were first attacked. He replied by saying "Um, no. I don't have a bey anymore.". Then Mason piped up and said "You can battle me instead!". It was probably one of the dumbest things ever, but for some reason the wall of meat agreed to battle Mason instead. "3, 2, 1, let it rip!". The enemy's bey had a strange attack pattern. It zigged, zagged, and then went straight. The opponent angrily said "Go Gear Leone! Break his bey into pieces!". Leone charged straight for Ghost. The first impact was brutal. It seemed like a bit of Ghost was knocked off. Ghost countered by by letting Leone get near it, and then force smashing it. Mason noticed that the Gear wheel had two gears on it. Ghost was dominating from then on. Leone was being knocked around everywhere, but then things went south. The teen had enough. He yelled "Go, Cyclone Claw!". The bottom gear started spinning counter-clockwise while the top one stayed normal. Leone charged, and it seemed to have more weight behind it now. When it hit, Ghost nearly stopped spinning altogether. Mason seemed finished, but Mason remembered Todd. For some reason, the thought of Todd made him keep trying harder. He remembered a move that would save his butt. He yelled "Special move, Ultra Phantom Twister!!!". Ghost began spinning faster and faster. Eventually, a tornado had sucked up Leone. Leone was then spit out, but not toward the beast Mason had been battling. Micah caught it. Mason turned to the teen and said "You have some explaining to do."

Personally, I think Titan Blader is a great writer. He obviously has some things to improve on, but unlike most writers here he can actually tell a story with text (that's what writing is!). Review!

hmmm dash ok coulda done betta na jokes that's actully quite gooooodCute
(May. 27, 2011  10:18 AM)ta daaaa Wrote:
(May. 25, 2011  2:13 AM)Sparta Wrote: Titan Blader told me to post this. It's the next chapter!

The hulking boy stood there, eyeing each one of them. Eventually, he pointed a stubby finger at Micah. The air stunk of hot dogs and motor oil. When he had thought about what he would say, he said "You, battle me or else!". Micah was caught off guard. His bey had fallen out of the train when they were first attacked. He replied by saying "Um, no. I don't have a bey anymore.". Then Mason piped up and said "You can battle me instead!". It was probably one of the dumbest things ever, but for some reason the wall of meat agreed to battle Mason instead. "3, 2, 1, let it rip!". The enemy's bey had a strange attack pattern. It zigged, zagged, and then went straight. The opponent angrily said "Go Gear Leone! Break his bey into pieces!". Leone charged straight for Ghost. The first impact was brutal. It seemed like a bit of Ghost was knocked off. Ghost countered by by letting Leone get near it, and then force smashing it. Mason noticed that the Gear wheel had two gears on it. Ghost was dominating from then on. Leone was being knocked around everywhere, but then things went south. The teen had enough. He yelled "Go, Cyclone Claw!". The bottom gear started spinning counter-clockwise while the top one stayed normal. Leone charged, and it seemed to have more weight behind it now. When it hit, Ghost nearly stopped spinning altogether. Mason seemed finished, but Mason remembered Todd. For some reason, the thought of Todd made him keep trying harder. He remembered a move that would save his butt. He yelled "Special move, Ultra Phantom Twister!!!". Ghost began spinning faster and faster. Eventually, a tornado had sucked up Leone. Leone was then spit out, but not toward the beast Mason had been battling. Micah caught it. Mason turned to the teen and said "You have some explaining to do."

Personally, I think Titan Blader is a great writer. He obviously has some things to improve on, but unlike most writers here he can actually tell a story with text (that's what writing is!). Review!

hmmm dash ok coulda done betta na jokes that's actully quite gooooodCute

it's true when you say that Titan Blader is a really good writer he may have some stuff to work on but still he's awsomeDJ 2002
I'm infinitely sorry for not updating this in so long! I'll get to work on the next part ASAP!
An Importantish Message From Titan Blader:
Well, after thinking on it for a few hours, I've made a disappointing decision. It was a mistake to take characters in the first place, so, I will not be using any other requests. Furthermore, if nobody posts here before midnight Saturday/Sunday, I will do one of two things. I will either quit this story, or quit writing altogether. Wish me luck.
The story's real good and you can see the improvement from the start to now.
Thanks Hope. That post gave me-not tryin' to be cheesy here-hope. I'll try to continue it soon.
Titan Writer the story is great dont quit
Thanks! Sorry I haven't updated, I've kind of been being a bum lately. *Eats Cheeto*
im not saying type all day take your time you do have a life
this story is awesome you just dont want to stop reading
Thanks everybody! I'll be typing away once school starts!
I'm beginning to edit the grammar in the old parts. I'll also try to start the next chapter!
Keep going! I've waited months! Good luck. Too bad I didn't know about character requests earlier. I had an awesome idea(in my opinion).
Are you gonna keep writing? I would like that because you just don't wanna stop reading, this story is so good.
You said you would start when school did and school is OUT.
I think this is a scrapped story,huh?
Yeah, I think he gave up. Too bad. It was a good story.
Yeah, waste of skills.