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+--- Thread: Bey Story: The Elusive Ghost (Co-Written By Sparta) (/Thread-Bey-Story-The-Elusive-Ghost-Co-Written-By-Sparta)
Bey Story: The Elusive Ghost (Co-Written By Sparta) - TITAN - Dec. 18, 2010
This is my first beyblade story and my first public story ever, So this might nt be too great.
Prologue
"Go Capricorne!!!" yelled a slightly chubby 11 year boy. Two beys were clashing violently inside a small bowl in the ground in front of him. One was Rock Capricorne 100 FS. The other was Killer Leone C145 RF. "Come on Mason, you're going to have to do better than that!!" yelled another boy.
"Micah, you're awfully cocky for someone who's been blading for only a month! Special Move, Rock Horn Smash!!!!!!" The bey charged at Leone, leaning forward unti he hit his opponent. Then it tilted up, knocking Leone into the sky.
"Come on, you said you wouldn't use your special move on me until I have one!" said Micah.
"You have no proof!" Mason said.
"Why don't you battle me?" said a mysterious voice.
"Of course I will!!" said Micah.
"I think he was talking to me Micah."
"I was talking to both of you!" said the voice. A hooded figure swooped down from a tree. He had a warped mask covering half his face. He pulled out an amazing bey. The metal wheel was black with splashes of silver.
The man said "My name is Ghost. This is my bey, Intangible Ghost DP145 XF."
"What does DP stand for?" asked Mason.
"Disapear." replied Ghost.
"I speak for both of us when I say we accept!" said Mason.
Everyone readied their launchers and said "3, 2, 1, Let It Rip!!!!"
RE: Bey Story: The Elusive Ghost - Flames150 - Dec. 18, 2010
Awesome can't wait for next.
RE: Bey Story: The Elusive Ghost - TITAN - Dec. 18, 2010
(Dec. 18, 2010 1:14 PM)Flames150 Wrote: Awesome can't wait for next.
Thanks!! I'll hopefully have the next one up on Sunday!!
RE: Bey Story: The Elusive Ghost - TITAN - Dec. 18, 2010
Micah launched his bey towards Ghost, but it completely disapeared. Leone then got knocked completely off track by an invisible force. "Come on! That was a cheap shot!" said Micah.
Capricorne would have been knocked out too, but Mason launched it close to the ground. "Come on! Rock Horn Smash!"
But Ghost was prepared. "Go, Ultra Phantom Twister!!!!!"
Ghost apeared for a second. It flew up and started rapidly moving in circles, creating fake copies of itself and creating a tornado. Mason knew his special move wouldn't work now, so he yelled "Special Move! Capricorne Rock Horn Defense!!"
Ghost's tornado touched down right on Capricorne, but the moment it did, an enormous goat came from Capricorne. The goat roared and charged at what looked like a phantom. At that moment, a huge explosion swallowed both beys and their spirits. Mason blacked out.
I think goats roar, or do they?*bum bum bum*
RE: Bey Story: The Elusive Ghost - TITAN - Dec. 19, 2010
I'll have part 2 by tomorrow.
Ghost's special move is kinda like dragoon f and g(t)'s special attacks combined. I forgot which one.
RE: Bey Story: The Elusive Ghost - TITAN - Dec. 19, 2010
There was a festive feeling in the air. A 7 year old Mason was running down a hall to a christmas tree. Mason was from a pour family and had an 11 year old brother named Todd. Todd was a great beyblader, and Mason wanted to be just like him. Therefore, the only thing he wanted was a beyblade.
Mason looked under the tree. There was only 1 gift for him. It was in a small box, and that told him his parents had come through for him. Todd had gotten a new grip and a beylauncher, so now his power was greatly increased.
The moment Mason opened his gift, all the windows in his house were broken. He then saw his family living for the last time. There were about 10 beyblades, destroying everything in his house. Mason picked up Rock Capricorne 100 FS and put it on his dead brother's launcher. His eyes glowed red when he yelled "Special Move! Rock Horn Smash!!!" Every bey he hit crumbled, except for the last one. Capricorne knocked it right into its owner's hand. "Maybe next time, Mason!!!" he yelled before he teleported away. That day, Mason swore to get revenge on that man.
Mason awoke to Micah's voice.
I won't have the next one up until at least Wednsday.
RE: Bey Story: The Elusive Ghost - Night - Dec. 20, 2010
What a sad story.
Nice. You do have spelling mistakes, though.
RE: Bey Story: The Elusive Ghost - TITAN - Dec. 20, 2010
(Dec. 20, 2010 12:17 AM)Night Wrote: What a sad story.
Nice. You do have spelling mistakes, though.
That means alot coming from you(not the spelling)! That really encouraged me!
RE: Bey Story: The Elusive Ghost - TITAN - Dec. 20, 2010
You know how I said I wouldn't have the next one up until Wednesday? I lied!!!
"Mason, wake up! Come on, get up!!!" yelled a troubled Micah. "No, Todd, Mom, Dad!" mumbled Mason. Micah knew that he was okay. Mason suddenly awoke, shaking, feeling the heart wrenching pain of that day. He noticed his bey in his hand. He felt something in his other hand. He looked, and it was Intangible Ghost! Micah said Ghost had put it there and left. Mason wondered why Ghost had given it to him, but he had to hurry home. He lived with Micah's family because Micah had always been Mason's best friend. After dinner, Mason observed his bey. He just couldn't understand why ghost was so fast. When he went to bed, Mason had a strange nightmare. Todd was in an empty room, half his face destroyed in a warped pattern. A man was torturing him, continually asking him "Where is it!? Where is Intangible Ghost!!!?"
RE: Bey Story: The Elusive Ghost - Night - Dec. 20, 2010
This is really good. I like the mysteriousness.
RE: Bey Story: The Elusive Ghost - Odin - Dec. 20, 2010
(Dec. 20, 2010 2:03 AM)Night Wrote: This is really good. I like the mysteriousness.Night is right. I can't wait for the next installment. Are you taking writing classes, by any chance?
RE: Bey Story: The Elusive Ghost - Gearfried97 - Dec. 20, 2010
(Dec. 20, 2010 3:04 AM)Odin of Aesir Wrote:(Dec. 20, 2010 2:03 AM)Night Wrote: This is really good. I like the mysteriousness.Night is right. I can't wait for the next installment. Are you taking writing classes, by any chance?
Rhymes!
on a serious note, I really like this story. its so mysterious and intriguing. good job!
RE: Bey Story: The Elusive Ghost - TITAN - Dec. 20, 2010
(Dec. 20, 2010 3:04 AM)Odin of Aesir Wrote:(Dec. 20, 2010 2:03 AM)Night Wrote: This is really good. I like the mysteriousness.Night is right. I can't wait for the next installment. Are you taking writing classes, by any chance?
Only if you consider 6th grade Language Arts a writing class.
RE: Bey Story: The Elusive Ghost - .:J:. - Dec. 21, 2010
i'd class that... awesome story, you're very good!
RE: Bey Story: The Elusive Ghost - Metal Cerberus - Dec. 21, 2010
Why do I get the feeling when reading that last parargraph that Ghost and Todd are the same person? It just seems to fit. But is that the case? Good job on the story so far, the ending of your last paragraph is a wonderful way to add suspense and also starts to piece everything together. I can't wait for the next part!
Metal Cerberus is out. Peace!
RE: Bey Story: The Elusive Ghost - TITAN - Dec. 22, 2010
(Dec. 21, 2010 6:19 PM)Metal Cerberus Wrote: Why do I get the feeling when reading that last parargraph that Ghost and Todd are the same person? It just seems to fit. But is that the case? Good job on the story so far, the ending of your last paragraph is a wonderful way to add suspense and also starts to piece everything together. I can't wait for the next part!
Metal Cerberus is out. Peace!
No spoilers! You'll have to wait until at least Wednesday to find out anything. I might be in need of a co-writer. Maybe. Possibly. Maybe.
EDIT: PM me your version of the next part. If I like it enough I will make you co-writer! It's not guarenteed (Pretty sure I spelt that wrong) anyone will win. I'm also taking character requests, but you won't be in the next part.
RE: Bey Story: The Elusive Ghost (Now Taking Character Requests) - LeonTempest - Dec. 22, 2010
creepy, sad, touching, mysterious and awesome all rolled into the california roll that is this amzing story
nicely done. =D
RE: Bey Story: The Elusive Ghost (Now Taking Character Requests) - TITAN - Dec. 26, 2010
At that moment, Mason woke up. The voice of that man echoed in his head. Mason looked at Intangible Ghost. It was where he left it, but it was emitting a kind of black light. He picked up his IPod to post about it on the WBO, but someone was calling him on FaceTime. Mason answered it, but he almost dropped it when he saw who it was.
A person was standing in a black room with nothing in it. It was Todd!! His face was damaged just like in his dream. He looked tired but in a hurry. He said "Mason, you need to listen to me. I'm obviously still alive. Celebrate later. I'm being held hostage by a group of people called The Organization. This might be the last time you ever see me. They ha-". That was the last thing he heard before a kid about his age launched a red glowing bey at Todd. Another person then appeared. He looked like the man torturing Todd in Mason's dream. He flashed a malicious grin at Mason before stepping on Todd's IPod.
RE: Bey Story: The Elusive Ghost (Now Taking Character Requests) - TITAN - Dec. 27, 2010
The only installment of this story typed on a computer is the first one. By the way, I might make another story. The idea is medeval beyblade with King Arthur and what-not. Should make it?
RE: Bey Story: The Elusive Ghost (Now Taking Character Requests) - 777 - Dec. 27, 2010
The elusive ghost? Reminds me of yugioh 5ds. No matter Great story
RE: Bey Story: The Elusive Ghost (Now Taking Character Requests) - TITAN - Dec. 28, 2010
(Dec. 27, 2010 11:42 PM)777 Wrote: The elusive ghost? Reminds me of yugioh 5ds. No matter Great story
It's just the word ghost. The story is completely different. The Ghosts are completely different characters.
RE: Bey Story: The Elusive Ghost (Now Taking Character Requests) - Sparta - Dec. 29, 2010
Has your co-writer been picked already? If not, I'd love to help! This is a natural plot line and your descriptiveness is good. Your fluency could use a little work but I love the story! How can I show you I'm good enough to be your Co-Writer?
RE: Bey Story: The Elusive Ghost (Now Taking Character Requests) - Septentrione - Dec. 29, 2010
Hey on your title it says your taking character requests. I'd love to post a character
Name: Jin Naito
Bey: Ray Cancer CH120RF
Special Move: Blitz Seaburst
Ray Cancer switches to 120 height and sends the opposing bey flying then he changes back to one hundred forty five heght andhithe opposing bey multiple times
RE: Bey Story: The Elusive Ghost (Now Taking Character Requests) - TITAN - Dec. 29, 2010
(Dec. 29, 2010 12:50 PM)krabby5656 Wrote: Hey on your title it says your taking character requests. I'd love to post a character
Name: Jin Naito
Bey: Ray Cancer CH120RF
Special Move: Blitz Seaburst
Ray Cancer switches to 120 height and sends the opposing bey flying then he changes back to one hundred forty five heght andhithe opposing bey multiple times
Off Topic: I'm not suspended anymore!
Hmm.*rubs chin* Do you want to be good or bad? I'm looking for more friends for Mason and Micah. But I'm also looking for people in The Organization, like the Gemios guys, above the chronies, but below the person like Ryuuga.
RE: Bey Story: The Elusive Ghost (Now Taking Character Requests) - riouga619 - Dec. 29, 2010
story was pretty cool im makeing tournements in my city trying it at my church when more people of roanoke city gets more people GO L-DRAGO
