A Brave New World (Beyblade Story)-Re-Editing And Finishing At Long Last
Poll: Do you like the story?
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13 |
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4 |
Total: | 100% | 64 vote(s) |
yes you are.jk
It's been 2 weeks now. Can a moderator PLEASE close this thread?
i guess they dont waant to
Hey guys! Guess what?! I'm baaaaaaaack! And I'm currently working on the next chapter!
My Fellow beybladers. The time has come to begin the end of Ethan Nightly's journey. Here it is!
Chapter 3: Rebirth
I stared blankly at the ground, my eyes transfixed on the bey that lay before me. The entire bey was a deep
crimson red, like the glowing embers of a fire. The tip was round and polished, but at the very end it came to a
point. The track was medium height, with sharp spikes surrounding it, The metal wheel was rounded, but had
porous holes in it. It reminded me of a rounded circular meteor. The energy ring was round and smooth, with no protrusions of any kind. And in the center of the bey was a deep, ocean blue face-bolt. The Dranzer insignia
showcased a picture of a Dranzer crying out, with feathers falling all around it. Cradled in my palm was what I
thought I had lost, now reborn: Inferno Dranzer. Without hesitation, I whipped out my launcher, attached
Dranzer, and gripped the handle. Immediately I felt a warm feeling spread throughout my body, like when you
take a warm sip of Tea or Hot Chocolate. An aura of deep blue light surrounded me, and I began the countdown. "Three!" I opened my eyes. "Two!" I gripped the launcher tighter. "One!" I grimaced, ready for anything. "Let it rip!" I shouted, pulling the string as hard as I could. Dranzer literally leaped off of my launcher, and I felt a surge of power run through me, like a bolt of lightning. "Oh yah!" I shouted, feeling the power of my new bey. Dranzer ricocheted off of a nearby Cactus, catching it on fire and burning it to a crisp. He hit the sand, made another leap, and flew back into my hand. Without flinching, I turned around and walked back home.
*Kelvins POV*
I sighed, leaning back in my chair. "I do wonder when something exiting will happen." I said, bored. Nothing had happened lately, and it was starting to get to me. Just then, Brooklyn walked into the room. "Yes?" I asked politely. "Is there something the matter?" In response, he pulled out his launcher grip. "I no longer want to be your puppet." He said simply. "I'm here to change that." I raised an eyebrow. "Oh? Is that so?" He nodded. "Very well." I said, readying my launcher. "But, you know, I don't just let traders walk away scott-free." I pulled out Black Dranzer. My eyes began to glow red, and my body became black as a shadow. "I DESTROY THEM!" And on that, we launched.
It was too bad I already knew his fate.
Well??? I'm a bit rusty, so I apologize, but please comment and rate!
Chapter 3: Rebirth
I stared blankly at the ground, my eyes transfixed on the bey that lay before me. The entire bey was a deep
crimson red, like the glowing embers of a fire. The tip was round and polished, but at the very end it came to a
point. The track was medium height, with sharp spikes surrounding it, The metal wheel was rounded, but had
porous holes in it. It reminded me of a rounded circular meteor. The energy ring was round and smooth, with no protrusions of any kind. And in the center of the bey was a deep, ocean blue face-bolt. The Dranzer insignia
showcased a picture of a Dranzer crying out, with feathers falling all around it. Cradled in my palm was what I
thought I had lost, now reborn: Inferno Dranzer. Without hesitation, I whipped out my launcher, attached
Dranzer, and gripped the handle. Immediately I felt a warm feeling spread throughout my body, like when you
take a warm sip of Tea or Hot Chocolate. An aura of deep blue light surrounded me, and I began the countdown. "Three!" I opened my eyes. "Two!" I gripped the launcher tighter. "One!" I grimaced, ready for anything. "Let it rip!" I shouted, pulling the string as hard as I could. Dranzer literally leaped off of my launcher, and I felt a surge of power run through me, like a bolt of lightning. "Oh yah!" I shouted, feeling the power of my new bey. Dranzer ricocheted off of a nearby Cactus, catching it on fire and burning it to a crisp. He hit the sand, made another leap, and flew back into my hand. Without flinching, I turned around and walked back home.
*Kelvins POV*
I sighed, leaning back in my chair. "I do wonder when something exiting will happen." I said, bored. Nothing had happened lately, and it was starting to get to me. Just then, Brooklyn walked into the room. "Yes?" I asked politely. "Is there something the matter?" In response, he pulled out his launcher grip. "I no longer want to be your puppet." He said simply. "I'm here to change that." I raised an eyebrow. "Oh? Is that so?" He nodded. "Very well." I said, readying my launcher. "But, you know, I don't just let traders walk away scott-free." I pulled out Black Dranzer. My eyes began to glow red, and my body became black as a shadow. "I DESTROY THEM!" And on that, we launched.
It was too bad I already knew his fate.
Well??? I'm a bit rusty, so I apologize, but please comment and rate!
awesomeness i cant wait to see whats going to happen next
good chapter...soory i've been away 4 a while
ya your writing again!! o ya i am in this chapter right i am kinda con fused when i come in
Alright, I've asked Darkangel to write this next chapter for me 'cuz I got this great story idea (you have no idea how many times a day I say that) and I want to at least write one chapter of it.
never mind
Started it. Read a few chapters but it is too much to do all at once. You don't think you could put it all in the OP in spoilers for each chapter so it is easier to find them without having to go through all the posts? Good story though and I do plan on reading on.
(May. 26, 2011 9:44 AM)RowDog Wrote: Started it. Read a few chapters but it is too much to do all at once. You don't think you could put it all in the OP in spoilers for each chapter so it is easier to find them without having to go through all the posts? Good story though and I do plan on reading on.
Aright, cool. I'll do that, thanks for letting me know.
wow nice story loved it sparta
Hey readers,
As you may have read from the Library thread, I'm going to revamp this story and finish it for the library! I'm going to fix up the chapters to a better writing standard and then go on to finish the tale. Please keep the comments and critiques coming!
*Sigh* I used to take character requests...foolish...and my standards for myself have risen, so this story really stinks now (Yes, this was my first WBO story-I've come a little ways, no?).
As you may have read from the Library thread, I'm going to revamp this story and finish it for the library! I'm going to fix up the chapters to a better writing standard and then go on to finish the tale. Please keep the comments and critiques coming!
*Sigh* I used to take character requests...foolish...and my standards for myself have risen, so this story really stinks now (Yes, this was my first WBO story-I've come a little ways, no?).
My friend, i couldnt agree more, yes, we all have come a long ways form nubs in GFXing and Writing to now some of the WBO's best. and HURRY UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Glad to see you are still working on this again!
Thanks, Izuma. I'm actually starting on the next chapter right now, but it's stinking. I completely forget what I had in mind as far as the rest of the plot, so I'm working with nothing and making up as I go.
I'll be lucky if this turns out half decent, hah.
I'll be lucky if this turns out half decent, hah.
I loved every second of your story it was amazing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ain't nothing wrong about looking up old threads by old posters, it's interesting way to gain user data. ~
(Sep. 13, 2015 8:46 PM)J.I.N.B.E.E! Wrote:(Sep. 13, 2015 8:41 PM)Meta madness Wrote: Ain't nothing wrong about looking up old threads by old posters, it's interesting way to gain user data. ~
I'd agree but there's a reason Mitsu edited the guys comment.
lol just noticed the edit actually!
inb4 lock