pure gold champions (story) chapter 8 now up

Poll: how would you rate this story

it is A MASTER PIECE
25.00%
2
its good
50.00%
4
dont like it
25.00%
2
Total: 100% 8 vote(s)
update status: working on chapter 9
please post in the comments what u think also i am open for anyone who wants to request a bey and character
Pure gold champions
prologue
chapter 1
chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
THIS CHAPTER TAKES PLACE IN THE MIND OF CASH
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
BACK TO KYES POINT OF VIEW
Chapter 8
Just some suggestions- Make your chapters longer, work on your punctuation a bit, put your chapters in spoilers, and try to be a little more descriptive. Good luck with your story Grin
(Aug. 08, 2012  12:33 AM)Beyniac Wrote: Just some suggestions- Make your chapters longer, work on your punctuation a bit, put your chapters in spoilers, and try to be a little more descriptive. Good luck with your story Grin

just a question how do i make the spoiler format
you do this- [spoiler] text blah blah blah then [/spoiler ] without the space at the end though. I just did that so you could see.
(Aug. 08, 2012  12:39 AM)Beyniac Wrote: you do this- [spoiler] text blah blah blah then [/spoiler ] without the space at the end though. I just did that so you could see.

thank you very much Smile
Your welcome. Good luck with your story Grin
chapter 2 is now finishes updateing now
I don't see it.
(Aug. 08, 2012  12:50 AM)Beyniac Wrote: I don't see it.

its up im about to post chapter 3 now
chapter 4 is now hear
chapter 5 is up
nice story much cooler than your ginga dieing one like 100x better in my opinion
(Aug. 08, 2012  7:55 PM)DarkBull2296 Wrote: nice story much cooler than your ginga dieing one like 100x better in my opinion
thanks

chapter 6 is now up
I like it so far, but heres some tips. Are names of things, people, companies and places need to start with caps, and just a bit more longer chapters, then it will be perfect. =)


[EDIT] Also, you need to but a capital on the first letter of the first word in the sentence.
(Aug. 08, 2012  8:29 PM)KaiserBurn Wrote: I like it so far, but heres some tips. Are names of things, people, companies and places need to start with caps, and just a bit more longer chapters, then it will be perfect. =)
ok any character requests?
Sure, why not.
Name: Dasher
Bey: Storm Bull D124WD
Personality: Not much it known, but is a serious battler.
Age: 10
Special move: None =)

EDIT: Also, if you want to be really good at writing stories, read! =D
Name: Rowan
Bey: Katana Samurai
Personalty: Moody
Age:12
Special Move: Samurai Sword Strike
the characters will join the story in a couple chapters
(Aug. 08, 2012  8:34 PM)DarkBull2296 Wrote: Name: Rowan
Bey: Katana Samurai
Personalty: Moody
Age:12
Special Move: Samurai Sword Strike

well here is chapter 7 and the characters have been added in

Chapter 7
BACK TO KYES POINT OF VIEW
chapter 8 is now out
Ooh! Character requests? You don't need to use it but, here we go-
Name- Carlos Lawrence
Bey- Vulcan Driger C145FS
Personality- Usually pretty happy, gets angry when people who battle him act conceited.
Special Move- Vulcan Slash
(Aug. 08, 2012  10:22 PM)Beyniac Wrote: Ooh! Character requests? You don't need to use it but, here we go-
Name- Carlos Lawrence
Bey- Vulcan Driger C145FS
Personality- Usually pretty happy, gets angry when people who battle him act conceited.
Special Move- Vulcan Slash

ok i might use it thanks
Not sure who the character should be but I have a bey idea. Mage dranzer mw145(metal wing) msf (metal semi flat)
(Aug. 09, 2012  12:54 AM)Beyblade mau5 Wrote: Not sure who the character should be but I have a bey idea. Mage dranzer mw145(metal wing) msf (metal semi flat)
Ok if u have any chacter ideas i need enemy team names and members also.

im working on chapter 9 right now ITS GONNA BE REALLY LONG AND EPIC