beyblades aren't just spinning tops!

Poll: How was this story so far

AWESOME
55.00%
11
goo
15.00%
3
okay
10.00%
2
try harder
10.00%
2
Horrifing
10.00%
2
Total: 100% 20 vote(s)
Hey guise I got bored today sooo lets start this story,


chapter 1: being bullied
Chaptar 2: the first tourney part 1

Chapter 3: The end Jk The first tourney pt 2
Chapter 4: The first tourney part 3
Chapter 5: The End of the First Tourney
Chapter 6: The news
Arc 2: The bey tower
Chapter 7: Invitation
Chapter 8: The gazers Pt1 (you don't have to read this chapter just extra information of the universe) also you need a translator for this, I forgot too.

Chapter 1 Jap
chapter 2 jap
Chapter 3 jap!
Chapter 9: No More!
Chapter 10: Fallen Angel (beware of disturbing end scene.)
chapter 11: Lady of Ice
Chapter 12: Powerhouse, What Powerhouse?
This IS a pretty cool story! Do you really believe that your Aries can use special attacks and talk to you? If you do, that's awesome!

Please read my story: Bound by the Bey: Sekenorou's Reign (a Beyblade story)
(Apr. 08, 2012  2:06 AM)Fakirs Duck Wrote: This IS a pretty cool story! Do you really believe that your Aries can use special attacks and talk to you? If you do, that's awesome!

Please read my story: Chapter 1 Forever Rivals (a beyblade story)

Thanks Chocked_2 I never actually thought that someone would like a thread.

yo yo chapter 2 bruh

Chapter 2 the first tourney part 1

After running from the bullies i've decided to not come to school. I decided to goto the JBBO building for a practice battle. When I got there a mysterious guy gave me a piece of paper saying this
Quote:beyblade tournament today!! come join us in 165
Akashita Dr.

"Yeah, What am I supposed to do with this?" I say. "Go there, your aries might do something" he says. " Wait what?!" I yell in embarrassment, "Do you stalk me or something?" He disappeared. "I guess I should go" I mummer, "Its not like I'm going to school or anything." So as I got there I notice a tent with cheaply written sharpie saying "berubade tirny "berubade? tirny?" I though I should go because I was still thinking about that stalker. I signed up. "Round 1 Sai Katawari versus! Koro Kirishino" I stepped up to the dish. Now thats scary stuff man. Some little school kid against some guy in a trench coat. Took out that grip and bey. "THREE" I yell. "two" Koro says casually like he doesn't care "ONE" I and the crowd yell. " GO SHOOT!" We both yell. I did five revs and pressed the button. "Pegasis meteor smash!!!" Koro yells. His bey poison pegasis 85XF flew into the air. I thought I should get into this action. " Aries dodge!" Aries then started to go attack mode with the cs. When his pegasis landed I yelled "Aries burning horn attack!" Aries set on fire and smashed his bey into the wall of the dish. When he pulled his bey out The bey turned into charcoal. "Winner Sai Katawari!!" "Next round Tyrannis Mokataro versus Llevar Kevano" I stepped down the dish and Tyrannis bumped my shoulder "Hey little girl, you got lucky" I swallowed hard. I looked at Aries and thought. What just happened .

Thats it for now guys.
You just gotta have confidince in yourself! The idea of a real - life person being able to control their bey through speech is awesome! Just work on your grammar and you'll be perfect!
*thumbs up* nice story keep it up!
I guess I should keep going. I never actually knew this story would get this far.
Uh...
Do you use MS-Word for your story?
Because I see so many spelling mistakes, and you seriously need to make your chapters longer.
You also need to write dialouge like so:
"Hey Jo!" Bob said.
"Hey Bob!" Jo said.
Whenever someone new talks, you make a new line. Also, don't forget to add plenty of details (I like plently of details, but don't go overboard like I did on my story...)!
(Apr. 08, 2012  5:45 PM)XXaron Wrote: Uh...
Do you use MS-Word for your story?
Because I see so many spelling mistakes, and you seriously need to make your chapters longer.
You also need to write dialouge like so:
"Hey Jo!" Bob said.
"Hey Bob!" Jo said.
Whenever someone new talks, you make a new line. Also, don't forget to add plenty of details (I like plently of details, but don't go overboard like I did on my story...)!

Thanks for the info. XD give me a break I'm new to this carp
Also don't expect a twelve year old to be a spelling god
Stop making excuses. I am 10 years old and can spell better than you. I made an excuse about my age and it didn't go well. "Also don't expect a twelve year old to be a spelling god"... hmm you don't have to be a god at spelling. You can miss some words but it wouldn't really matter. If you are missing a lot of spelling words then yes you better improve.
(Apr. 08, 2012  7:37 PM)Black Hole Wrote: Stop making excuses. I am 10 years old and can spell better than you. I made an excuse about my age and it didn't go well. "Also don't expect a twelve year old to be a spelling god"... hmm you don't have to be a god at spelling. You can miss some words but it wouldn't really matter. If you are missing a lot of spelling words then yes you better improve.

You don't have to be so mean! She's trying, and doing a REALLY good job! When I was nine I wrote like carp! Now I'm eleven, and you can read Bound by the Bey: Sekenorou's Reign to see what you think of me now! Keep going!
(Apr. 08, 2012  9:15 PM)Fakirs Duck Wrote:
(Apr. 08, 2012  7:37 PM)Black Hole Wrote: Stop making excuses. I am 10 years old and can spell better than you. I made an excuse about my age and it didn't go well. "Also don't expect a twelve year old to be a spelling god"... hmm you don't have to be a god at spelling. You can miss some words but it wouldn't really matter. If you are missing a lot of spelling words then yes you better improve.

You don't have to be so mean! She's trying, and doing a REALLY good job! When I was nine I wrote like carp! Now I'm eleven, and you can read Bound by the Bey: Sekenorou's Reign to see what you think of me now! Keep going!

I'm a guy :p
(Apr. 08, 2012  7:37 PM)Black Hole Wrote: Stop making excuses. I am 10 years old and can spell better than you. I made an excuse about my age and it didn't go well. "Also don't expect a twelve year old to be a spelling god"... hmm you don't have to be a god at spelling. You can miss some words but it wouldn't really matter. If you are missing a lot of spelling words then yes you better improve.

Hey bruh, I have a challenge for you write a story with 5 chapters on an ipod without spelling mistakes in 45 minutes. Then come back here. Anyways why am I complaining? Haters make me famous.
(Apr. 08, 2012  10:42 PM)Shirayuki Wrote:
(Apr. 08, 2012  9:15 PM)Fakirs Duck Wrote: [quote='Black Hole' pid='935037' dateline='1333910272']
Stop making excuses. I am 10 years old and can spell better than you. I made an excuse about my age and it didn't go well. "Also don't expect a twelve year old to be a spelling god"... hmm you don't have to be a god at spelling. You can miss some words but it wouldn't really matter. If you are missing a lot of spelling words then yes you better improve.

You don't have to be so mean! She's trying, and doing a REALLY good job! When I was nine I wrote like carp! Now I'm eleven, and you can read Bound by the Bey: Sekenorou's Reign to see what you think of me now! Keep going!

I'm a guy :p

Oops, my mistake! I'm sorry, how embarrassing that must have been! But, doesn't your signature “mess” and your avatar have a pic of a guy?
no, that's how Life works when you get to upper grades I guess.
Writing a story in 45 minutes is NOT a good idea.
I can do that, but that's mainly because I type fast and come up with ideas on the fly, and of course MS-Word helps keep spelling mistakes and grammar mistakes to a minimum.
So, at least type it somewhere you can save it, take your time (Do not try and write it in 45 minutes unless you can do what I do, which is write a 700+ word chapter in 45 minutes with next-to-no spelling/grammar mistakes... and you can't) and if needed plan out your story.
I can type a chapter in under 30 min. with hardly any spelling/grammar mistakes. After the chapter is completely typed I proofread it to correct those small errors, and then I congratulate myself with a piece of dark chocolate!
Sai katawari....looks like u got that name from Kai Hiwatari
(Apr. 11, 2012  10:22 AM)THE DRAGOON Wrote: Sai katawari....looks like u got that name from Kai Hiwatari

I just noticed that! XD
Bump QQ sorry for double post
...
Don't bump.
and I noticed you had improper grammar in the title.
It should be:
Beyblade isn't just spinning tops!
or
Beyblades arn't just spinning tops!
Second one sounds better.
(Apr. 16, 2012  9:39 PM)XXaron Wrote: ...
Don't bump.
and I noticed you had improper grammar in the title.
It should be:
Beyblade isn't just spinning tops!
or
Beyblades arn't just spinning tops!
Second one sounds better.

Notice that right now too. QQ
new chapter QQ
Sorry for double post but another chapter in op