beyblade the warrior within ep 1 prologue

here is my series

Chad: Great Job Pegasus, (Pegasus jumps back to chads hand) now your ready for the battle cup!Eee

???: What a bunch of carp!!!

Chad:Angry Who is there?

( strange character leaps off a roof and lands right in front of chad)

Zack: My name is Zack and I am the best blader in the city.

Chad: Yeah right, my pegasus can beat you any time! XD

Zack: how bout now ( pulls out dark bull)

Chad: you got it!!

Zack: ready to lose?

Chad: never

together: 3,2,1 LET IT RIP!!!!!!!!!!!!1

both beys launched onto the black top and clashed together like to bell hitting each other

(pegasus circles bull for a straight attack)

Zack: Bull Horn THrust!!!!

Chad: What?!

Zack: Try to escape my massive attack Go Bull

( bull grabs pegasus with its horns and throws it up in the air)

Chad: to himself (yes now is a perfect chance for my special move) pegusus storm strike
(pegasus moves sideways and spins so fast that fire is swinging around the hot metal ring)
Chad: Gasp

Zack: Gasp

(smoke is covering the battle field,after two minutes pegasus is spinning but bull is smashed into the ground)

Zack: NOOOOOOO bull!!!
Chad: Ha that is another win

Zack: You won now but you won't beat me in the battle cup
Chad: fine see you there
END
This is more of a script, less like a story.
the battle was a little to short.its more of a script.the story should describe the battle a little something like: The beys clashed together.The sound of clashing metal rang in my ears. "Go Bull! Horn Thrust!!!!"yells Zack.

Other than that,great story!
(Oct. 31, 2010  4:15 AM)galaxy epic Wrote: the battle was a little to short.its more of a script.the story should describe the battle a little something like: The beys clashed together.The sound of clashing metal rang in my ears. "Go Bull! Horn Thrust!!!!"yells Zack.

Other than that,great story!

thanks here I am going to edit it
here you guys is the pre-edited version