Ok if you need an antagonist here's mine, hope it helps. Your story is pretty good right now, but try making the chapters longer.

Halisi prizma

Spoiler (Click to View)

Role: Primary, or secondary antagonist whatever works for you. and at times a deuturagonist.
Bio: After having his company bought out by a rival Beywheel manufacturer he create the T.C.L as a tool to get revenge. But Leviathan the lord of water and air saw potential in his wheel and entered it, naming himself Storm Tsunami Leviathan. This also changed appearance of the wheel to a scaly energy wheel, with the side wheels taking on a fin shaped appearance. After Leviathan explained his plans to flood the earth Halisi decided to help.
Personality: A calculating, intelligent man. He takes great pride in his intelligence, which in turns makes him vulnerable after an insult to his intelligence. He enjoys cracking jokes and talking smack to his opponents, but rarely says anything funny.
Appearance: A 23 year old man wearing a light blue cloak with long sleeves. He has black hair with 2 streaks of blond, it is long coming a little past his shoulders. Two locks are hung in front of his shoulders.
Leviathan: A god that has the personality of one, he often looks down on everyone including Halisi. He often disregards Halisi's commands during battle and acts on his own. He however will do anything to preserve Halisi including working with Seths group.
Wheel: Storm Tsunami Leviathan
Type: Balance speed 8-power 8
Special Moves
Aqua Ring: Forms 2 rings of water around the wheel, a horizontal, and a vertical one. Increases speed, and power while also defending against other wheels. Only lasts 10sec.
Fin blade: Uses Leviathans fins to hit the oppenent with a melee attack.
Heavens Catastrophe: Summons 10 orbs of water overhead to fall and flood the field with raging waters.
Leviathan can also shoot high pressure water pellets surrounded by wind at his opponents.

I meant like a rival team, you know, like the Ravagers in Deja vu's story. And the whole Leviathan/god thing isn't like what I had in mind for the story. Real sorry though. I might have to change something to make it work, but good description. (I was able to talk cuz my dad brought his computer. Chapter 10 might be up soon after all!

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As soon as I get Doom Molten Drago, you are as good as defeated!


MY Beyweelz Story(Featuring Doom Molten Drago):

Spoiler (Click to View)

http://worldbeyblade.org/Thread-a-BeyWhe...pid1049498

Click here!

Spoiler (Click to View)

John 3:16
"For God so loved (Insert your name here), that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth on Him, shall not perish, but have everlasting life." This is in the Bible.

Im really flattered that you're using my story as an example Anyway, heres one. I'm not sure what kind of format you want but I'll just give a name.
Superior Dusk (its ok if you don't use it. I know its not the best.)

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“In the course of twenty crowded years, one parts with many illusions. I did not wish to lose the early ones. Some memories are realities, and are better than anything that can ever happen again.” -Jim Burden (My Ántonia)

You mean Superior Dusk is a new name for this one? If so, I'll find a way to fit it in. Thanks! Or maybe, as a name for the main team. That would be cool huh?

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Alright, Chapter 10, is, up. *Thunk* Ouch. XD

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As soon as I get Doom Molten Drago, you are as good as defeated!


MY Beyweelz Story(Featuring Doom Molten Drago):

Spoiler (Click to View)

http://worldbeyblade.org/Thread-a-BeyWhe...pid1049498

Click here!

Spoiler (Click to View)

John 3:16
"For God so loved (Insert your name here), that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth on Him, shall not perish, but have everlasting life." This is in the Bible.

i got a team 3 to be exact team 1 the flame bursters first person via shes the leader her bey is doom molten fireblaze her special move is imperial lava attacker balance type ,other is blay he is the power boy his rampage fire bull his special move is blaze crash power type, keb raging blade serpent special move flame biter combo speed type. next team ,team legend the leader jule, savage warrior destroyer special move great sword power type, concer, wild blade herculeo special move hammer of faith powe rtype.cino, slash fin cetus,water whirl pool slash speed type.and team poison fury,tix hIs blade toxic crusher scorpio speed type and try slash stinger scorpio their brothers they share the special move scorpio slasher speed type then they combine it with ulto scorpio slaher and hurricane bite serpent , THE LEADER his special move hurrican bite attack balanced type. their you go, hope its enough to make some teams.

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TEAM FIREBLAZE!

I will use them probably. Thaank you!

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As soon as I get Doom Molten Drago, you are as good as defeated!


MY Beyweelz Story(Featuring Doom Molten Drago):

Spoiler (Click to View)

http://worldbeyblade.org/Thread-a-BeyWhe...pid1049498

Click here!

Spoiler (Click to View)

John 3:16
"For God so loved (Insert your name here), that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth on Him, shall not perish, but have everlasting life." This is in the Bible.

Ok if you need an antagonist here's mine, hope it helps. Your story is pretty good right now, but try making the chapters longer.

Halisi prizma

Spoiler (Click to View)

Role: Primary, or secondary antagonist whatever works for you. and at times a deuturagonist.
Bio: After having his company bought out by a rival Beywheel manufacturer he create the T.C.L as a tool to get revenge. But Leviathan the lord of water and air saw potential in his wheel and entered it, naming himself Storm Tsunami Leviathan. This also changed appearance of the wheel to a scaly energy wheel, with the side wheels taking on a fin shaped appearance. After Leviathan explained his plans to flood the earth Halisi decided to help.
Personality: A calculating, intelligent man. He takes great pride in his intelligence, which in turns makes him vulnerable after an insult to his intelligence. He enjoys cracking jokes and talking smack to his opponents, but rarely says anything funny.
Appearance: A 23 year old man wearing a light blue cloak with long sleeves. He has black hair with 2 streaks of blond, it is long coming a little past his shoulders. Two locks are hung in front of his shoulders.
Leviathan: A god that has the personality of one, he often looks down on everyone including Halisi. He often disregards Halisi's commands during battle and acts on his own. He however will do anything to preserve Halisi including working with Seths group.
Wheel: Storm Tsunami Leviathan
Type: Balance speed 8-power 8
Special Moves
Aqua Ring: Forms 2 rings of water around the wheel, a horizontal, and a vertical one. Increases speed, and power while also defending against other wheels. Only lasts 10sec.
Fin blade: Uses Leviathans fins to hit the oppenent with a melee attack.
Heavens Catastrophe: Summons 10 orbs of water overhead to fall and flood the field with raging waters.
Leviathan can also shoot high pressure water pellets surrounded by wind at his opponents.

I meant like a rival team, you know, like the Ravagers in Deja vu's story. And the whole Leviathan/god thing isn't like what I had in mind for the story. Real sorry though. I might have to change something to make it work, but good description. (I was able to talk cuz my dad brought his computer. Chapter 10 might be up soon after all!

Sounds good, just throwing it out there haha. If you do decide to use the idea just think of it as a template. Would you like me to make a team? Also don't forget to credit the ideas you use in the OP, Not just mine.
P.S I changed the stats.
Type-speed
speed-10
power-6

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My colors live account is here check sometimes for all things Amoebattle or Cannon'ex. Last Cannon'ex thread update 10/10/2012

Chapter 11 is finally up! Tired... *Clunk* *Snore* Ouch. I'm up, if anybody needs anything.

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As soon as I get Doom Molten Drago, you are as good as defeated!


MY Beyweelz Story(Featuring Doom Molten Drago):

Spoiler (Click to View)

http://worldbeyblade.org/Thread-a-BeyWhe...pid1049498

Click here!

Spoiler (Click to View)

John 3:16
"For God so loved (Insert your name here), that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth on Him, shall not perish, but have everlasting life." This is in the Bible.

I probably won't get Chapter 12 up for a while. Something...happened. Sorry.

---

As soon as I get Doom Molten Drago, you are as good as defeated!


MY Beyweelz Story(Featuring Doom Molten Drago):

Spoiler (Click to View)

http://worldbeyblade.org/Thread-a-BeyWhe...pid1049498

Click here!

Spoiler (Click to View)

John 3:16
"For God so loved (Insert your name here), that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth on Him, shall not perish, but have everlasting life." This is in the Bible.

Alright, Chapter 12 is up!

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As soon as I get Doom Molten Drago, you are as good as defeated!


MY Beyweelz Story(Featuring Doom Molten Drago):

Spoiler (Click to View)

http://worldbeyblade.org/Thread-a-BeyWhe...pid1049498

Click here!

Spoiler (Click to View)

John 3:16
"For God so loved (Insert your name here), that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth on Him, shall not perish, but have everlasting life." This is in the Bible.

Hopefully, around 12, Chapter 13 might be up. Unless I go do it right now. Then, it will probably be chapter 14 that is up around 12-2.

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Can't do it yet. Sorry.

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As soon as I get Doom Molten Drago, you are as good as defeated!


MY Beyweelz Story(Featuring Doom Molten Drago):

Spoiler (Click to View)

http://worldbeyblade.org/Thread-a-BeyWhe...pid1049498

Click here!

Spoiler (Click to View)

John 3:16
"For God so loved (Insert your name here), that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth on Him, shall not perish, but have everlasting life." This is in the Bible.

Never mind! Chapter 13 is up!


Does anyone have any characters/teams/both for the story? I'll still take them.

---

As soon as I get Doom Molten Drago, you are as good as defeated!


MY Beyweelz Story(Featuring Doom Molten Drago):

Spoiler (Click to View)

http://worldbeyblade.org/Thread-a-BeyWhe...pid1049498

Click here!

Spoiler (Click to View)

John 3:16
"For God so loved (Insert your name here), that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth on Him, shall not perish, but have everlasting life." This is in the Bible.

Heres that team you asked for padnah, if you need a sub I'm sure you can come up with one just follow the theme ^^. Oh also if you use them can they come back later in the series working under Halisi?

Team AquaSquires
Leader: Anril Beck

Spoiler (Click to View)

Wheel: Hippos Equestrian Kampos
Spirit: A Seahorse with steel armor and a lance like tail.
Special moves
Lance thrust: Builds up energy then releases kinetic energy forward in the shape of a cone, Has no range.
Burst field: Envelopes the field in high pressure bubbles that explode on contact.
Whirlwind strike: Spin around an area horizontally.
Appearance: A 14 year old with hat covering his hair. He wears a blue loose long sleeve shirt and white pants.

Member 1: Cerulean

Spoiler (Click to View)

Wheel: Shell Testudo Of shells
Spirit: A Sea Turtle with a steel shell and armor on the tips of his fins.
Special moves
Dual shell: his spirit shield, and attack gear generate energy shields at the sides for protection.
Heaven drop: leaps into the air and comes down with twice the speed, used for speed battes.
whirlwind strike
Appearance: A 14 year old girl with cyan relaxed hair. She wears a one piece skirt shirt with long sleeves.

Member 2: Zaffre

Spoiler (Click to View)

Wheel: Roller Slammer Plesio
Spirit: a Plesiosaur with a bladed helmet, blades on each fin, a bladed tail, and a spiked backplate.
Special moves
Head slam: Plesio forms his head and neck out of water and slam into the other wheel.
ripple wave: Rushes forward creating waves on both sides to crash down.
Whirlwind strike
Appearance: A 13 year old boy with long orange hair with a spiky front. He wears a tight shirt and shorts with an attached cloak.

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My colors live account is here check sometimes for all things Amoebattle or Cannon'ex. Last Cannon'ex thread update 10/10/2012

ya know what i got another one, zem's ultimate rival
name:timer
wheel: river fin gill
type:balance
special moves: water trap,death aqua,bone crusher(death aqua is like gill spinnig around and then water comes out and it coves gill and then gill comes after you and hits you reallllyyyyyy hard like destroy your bey type hard.as well as water trap its like that but instead the water comes out and drowns ya bey)
apperance:like a blue version of zems clothing but no gloves and and skinny jeans.the funny thing is that he gets angered like zem only when ya talk smack.not really laid back thow kinda active to be concise and his hair is kinda like the night black with little bits of green pulled back into hair like a river
family:cousin zem
bio:back when him and zem were little and best friends they did everything together but then they dicovered beywheelz and it created a rivalry of equality alllllllllllll of their batttles end out in aa tie,but stilll best friends timer moves off to a diffrent place leaving zem behind,which created the kinda of a friendrivalry thing but there stilll best friends but compete alottttttttttttttttttt like ginka and massamune. that type of thing.


what would be really cool if you put him in the like final team to battle that be great
ad just to let you know this is a request from my cousin. this is a little bit what its based off of. (the diffrent thing is that he didnt move away)
so yes this is timer. zems best friend
hope ya put him in.

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TEAM FIREBLAZE!

chapter 14 is finally up! Sorry for taking so long, just didn't feel like writing till now. so I decided to give you guy the next Chapter.

---

As soon as I get Doom Molten Drago, you are as good as defeated!


MY Beyweelz Story(Featuring Doom Molten Drago):

Spoiler (Click to View)

http://worldbeyblade.org/Thread-a-BeyWhe...pid1049498

Click here!

Spoiler (Click to View)

John 3:16
"For God so loved (Insert your name here), that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth on Him, shall not perish, but have everlasting life." This is in the Bible.

Is it possible for a character to have Shadow Warrior Fireblaze? His special moves are called dark steel eruption and shadow sword slash

I voted for ok and awesome because I'm thinking somewhere in the middle. I haven't read this in a long time so here are some tips-
In chapter...12 i think it was, when they were meeting up for the first time, I don't think they ever said "this will be a battle to decide the rankings of our team". I might have missed it though.
Allow the characters to interact more. What I'm seeing is a bunch of battle battle battle and not much character interaction.
Try to make the battles more descriptive. Sometimes you do a good job with that and sometimes...not so much. Even if the battle is short or unimportant, elaborate on what happens more. Throw in some interesting tactics and stuff like that.
Regarding my previous comment on chapter 12, Seth and Lily just meeting for the first time and already making a combination special move seems a bit strange.
I saw a few vocab and grammar mistakes. Read your story through every once and a while and look out for those.
Now, don't get me wrong here, this stories great and I am definitely not trying to be mean or rude or anything. I just am suggesting things you could do to make the story better. Also, I'm not an expert and I know that. These are just little things I pick up. Sorry for the lecture, keep up the good work!

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“In the course of twenty crowded years, one parts with many illusions. I did not wish to lose the early ones. Some memories are realities, and are better than anything that can ever happen again.” -Jim Burden (My Ántonia)

Chapter 15 is up! Sorry it's kinda short because I gotta go somewhere soon. Sorry it took so long! XD

---

As soon as I get Doom Molten Drago, you are as good as defeated!


MY Beyweelz Story(Featuring Doom Molten Drago):

Spoiler (Click to View)

http://worldbeyblade.org/Thread-a-BeyWhe...pid1049498

Click here!

Spoiler (Click to View)

John 3:16
"For God so loved (Insert your name here), that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth on Him, shall not perish, but have everlasting life." This is in the Bible.

Good chapter, but to many "then this, then that." Also, if you wanted to, you could have made the battle a bit longer and have split the chapter into parts. Can't wait for chapter 16!

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“In the course of twenty crowded years, one parts with many illusions. I did not wish to lose the early ones. Some memories are realities, and are better than anything that can ever happen again.” -Jim Burden (My Ántonia)

Chapter 16 is fini! Also, the character descriptions have been updated with the new beys. Enjoy!

---

As soon as I get Doom Molten Drago, you are as good as defeated!


MY Beyweelz Story(Featuring Doom Molten Drago):

Spoiler (Click to View)

http://worldbeyblade.org/Thread-a-BeyWhe...pid1049498

Click here!

Spoiler (Click to View)

John 3:16
"For God so loved (Insert your name here), that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth on Him, shall not perish, but have everlasting life." This is in the Bible.

Sorry for the double post, but Chapter 17 is up! Enjoy!

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As soon as I get Doom Molten Drago, you are as good as defeated!


MY Beyweelz Story(Featuring Doom Molten Drago):

Spoiler (Click to View)

http://worldbeyblade.org/Thread-a-BeyWhe...pid1049498

Click here!

Spoiler (Click to View)

John 3:16
"For God so loved (Insert your name here), that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth on Him, shall not perish, but have everlasting life." This is in the Bible.

I really liked that last chapter! I dont think there were any grammar or spelling mistakes. One very small detail is that i believe a rotation is moving in a circular horizontal pattern. Not rolling vertically. Could be wrong though. Anyway, amazing chapter!

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“In the course of twenty crowded years, one parts with many illusions. I did not wish to lose the early ones. Some memories are realities, and are better than anything that can ever happen again.” -Jim Burden (My Ántonia)

danget my dude lost 2 in a row but cool chapter with the evolving of the blades an stuff.and i wonder what their evolutions would look like?

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TEAM FIREBLAZE!

Well, it would look like, you know, the Rex SS, the Orange Spike EC, and the Bite AG. The Leone SS, Bone EC, etc., and I hope it looked like Zem put up a good fight, because that's how I wanted it to be. I also wanted to show Seth can be hard-pressed to win, too. Also, that ending to the battle was suppossed to be short because you would think that the final part would be all dramatic, but I made it so it was short. Heh, heh, heh.

---

As soon as I get Doom Molten Drago, you are as good as defeated!


MY Beyweelz Story(Featuring Doom Molten Drago):

Spoiler (Click to View)

http://worldbeyblade.org/Thread-a-BeyWhe...pid1049498

Click here!

Spoiler (Click to View)

John 3:16
"For God so loved (Insert your name here), that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth on Him, shall not perish, but have everlasting life." This is in the Bible.

question are you gonna put timer in the last team or you decided not to?

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TEAM FIREBLAZE!

Probably in the next tournament. I might try to do a new story about beyBLADES since I just got a new one.

---

As soon as I get Doom Molten Drago, you are as good as defeated!


MY Beyweelz Story(Featuring Doom Molten Drago):

Spoiler (Click to View)

http://worldbeyblade.org/Thread-a-BeyWhe...pid1049498

Click here!

Spoiler (Click to View)

John 3:16
"For God so loved (Insert your name here), that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth on Him, shall not perish, but have everlasting life." This is in the Bible.