Writing Tournament Semi-Finals: Temporal Vs. 天翔翼 TenshouYoku!

Writing Tournament Semi-Finals: Temporal Vs. 天翔翼 TenshouYoku!

Entry 1

Entry 2

VOTE!
My vote goes to entry 2. I found entry 1 to be cliche, a "friend" of the character leads them into a trap and betrays them. Originality is very important, especially at this stage of the competition, and I found that entry 2 was more original. I also found mistakes in entry 1 like, "When they stepped on the middle of a round shaped open ground, lots of people wearing in a same costume comes out, suddenly and quickly. The quickly circled them and pointed their beys onto them." Some of the writing just sounded weird and the flow could've been improved. I really liked entry 2, and I found that it was very well written. Therefore, my vote goes to Entry 2!
Sparta, you need to turn off the smiles in the OP. Entry two has an error due to smiles being on.
(Aug. 15, 2011  8:45 PM)Temporal Wrote: Sparta, you need to turn off the smiles in the OP. Entry two has an error due to smiles being on.

Ah, sorry about that. I'll change it.

C'mon people! Vote! It's your duty to your country.
(Aug. 16, 2011  3:45 AM)Sparta Wrote:
(Aug. 15, 2011  8:45 PM)Temporal Wrote: Sparta, you need to turn off the smiles in the OP. Entry two has an error due to smiles being on.

Ah, sorry about that. I'll change it.

C'mon people! Vote! It's your duty to your country.
I lol'd

Anyway, don't let it sink, this has to be done.
(Aug. 15, 2011  8:30 PM)SwiftShadow Wrote: My vote goes to entry 2. I found entry 1 to be cliche, a "friend" of the character leads them into a trap and betrays them. Originality is very important, especially at this stage of the competition, and I found that entry 2 was more original. I also found mistakes in entry 1 like, "When they stepped on the middle of a round shaped open ground, lots of people wearing in a same costume comes out, suddenly and quickly. The quickly circled them and pointed their beys onto them." Some of the writing just sounded weird and the flow could've been improved. I really liked entry 2, and I found that it was very well written. Therefore, my vote goes to Entry 2!
This. Entry 2. Although, they both switched tenses mid-sentence...
my vote goes to entry two... its great and suspiciously looks like Temporals writing style...
Any comeback?

0-3.....
(Aug. 16, 2011  7:42 AM)Bunnii2165 Wrote: my vote goes to entry two... its great and suspiciously looks like Temporals writing style...
I hope you were being sarcastic when you said 'suspiciously'. I'm pretty sure TenShouYoku's main characters' name is TenShou Yoku. That obviously tells who is who.
uhhh yeh it doesn't take a genius to figure that out...
(Aug. 16, 2011  7:48 AM)Bunnii2165 Wrote: uhhh yeh it doesn't take a genius to figure that out...
Well yeah, but every once in awhile, I'll see someone here who really can't figure that out.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! that was good
Ok, that's not hard to find whose writing is it?
Seems that I have to find a new character.....
(Aug. 16, 2011  8:49 AM)天翔翼 TenshouYoku Wrote: Ok, that's not hard to find whose writing is it?
Seems that I have to find a new character.....

That is if u beat Temporal.... My vote..... Its so hard! So much emotion and anger in both of them and its so beautiful, but in the end i think my vote goes to...... ENTRY..... 9 nah JKS but seriously, Oh i cant decide, i'll have to read them again... Sparta was right, only the best authors on WBO are left ( that includes me!!!! )
Oh noes! I has been discovered! Wait...Doesn't that make the "Entry 1/2" parts moot?
I vote for entry 2. I found that entry 1 had few mistakes and i also prefere the writing style of entry 2.
0-4.
Looks like Entry One 's writer will lose......
I vote for entry 2. The way the author put a spin on the theme was outstanding.
Hello, Finals! I appreciate the votes, but at least give a congratulations to Tenshou Yoku. He's a great writer, and only gets better every day. Funny how I'm suddenly one of the undisputed best writers, and before Crisis, I hadn't written a good story here in ages, unless you count the first chapter of The Tactician.
I now kinda wished I had entered the tournament and been able to battle the great writers here, but my sincerest congrstulations to Temporal! Tenshou, congratulations on making it this far, and congrats Temporal for making it to the finals!
Well, I got a KO.
Not very happy about this, but Congratulations to Temporal and Hope you can strive for the glory!