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Valediction

May. 25, 2011  5:40 AM
 
This is a new poem I wrote tonight in the Villanelle form. Enjoy or whatever.

"Valediction"

When I'm alone I wonder, where have you gone?
You who have won my heart, will you be home
To hold me as the light breaks our bed at dawn?

You spread your wings swiftly like the swan
Who has once more left its restful nest to roam;
When I'm alone I wonder, where have you gone?

Your departures I've always known are foregone,
Yet waking without you is so lonesome
As the morning light breaks our bed at dawn.

The trials and troubles we have undergone
Have all grown to become so tiresome;
Still, when I'm alone I wonder, where have you gone?

And so into wistfulness I have withdrawn,
Where seconds slip by in silent metronome;
Paralyzing me as the light breaks our bed at dawn.

The sun exposes your tracks on the lawn,
Made as you left our home in the gloam;
When I'm alone I wonder, where have you gone?
Emptiness fills me as the light breaks our bed at dawn.
May. 25, 2011  5:42 AM
 
I think its very good and deep. I haven't ever wrote a poem in Villanelle form. Is it hard to write that style?
May. 25, 2011  5:44 AM
 
I love how you're so nonchalant about it. "Enjoy or whatever" Then you go a write an amazing poem.
May. 25, 2011  5:48 AM
 
(May. 25, 2011  5:42 AM)Guardian Wrote: I think its very good and deep. I haven't ever wrote a poem in Villanelle form. Is it hard to write that style?

Yes, it's actually VERY hard. Villanelles are one of my favorite forms of poetry, but they're very difficult to write because they follow a really strict structure. For more info, check this out: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Villanelle

Nano Wrote:I love how you're so nonchalant about it. "Enjoy or whatever" Then you go a write an amazing poem.

Well, that's honestly because I don't ever expect many comments on the stuff I post here. Most of it gets lost among other threads and I barely get any comments or anything, so anymore I just throw stuff up here whenever I feel like it and see what happens.
May. 25, 2011  8:43 AM
 
wow awesome poetry i loved it
May. 26, 2011  3:37 AM
 
(May. 25, 2011  5:40 AM)Roan Wrote: This is a new poem I wrote tonight in the Villanelle form. Enjoy or whatever.

"Valediction"

When I'm alone I wonder, where have you gone?
You who have won my heart, will you be home
To hold me as the light breaks our bed at dawn?

You spread your wings swiftly like the swan
Who has once more left its restful nest to roam;
When I'm alone I wonder, where have you gone?

Your departures I've always known are foregone,
Yet waking without you is so lonesome
As the morning light breaks our bed at dawn.

The trials and troubles we have undergone
Have all grown to become so tiresome;
Still, when I'm alone I wonder, where have you gone?

And so into wistfulness I have withdrawn,
Where seconds slip by in silent metronome;
Paralyzing me as the light breaks our bed at dawn.

The sun exposes your tracks on the lawn,
Made as you left our home in the gloam;
When I'm alone I wonder, where have you gone?
Emptiness fills me as the light breaks our bed at dawn.
Wow! Next to a sestina, a villanelle is one of the hardest types of poems to write. Love the...'plot line' I guess. Your poetry far surpasses mine Smile
May. 26, 2011  4:28 AM
 
Thanks.

As for the "story line", believe it or not, I sort of made it up as I went. I didn't really have any idea where I wanted to go with the poem, all I had was the first three lines so I just created the story from there, though obviously a lot of inspiration for it was taken from my personal life.
May. 27, 2011  2:42 AM
 
(May. 26, 2011  4:28 AM)Roan Wrote: Thanks.

As for the "story line", believe it or not, I sort of made it up as I went. I didn't really have any idea where I wanted to go with the poem, all I had was the first three lines so I just created the story from there, though obviously a lot of inspiration for it was taken from my personal life.
It was still very good. Way better than my poetry, not to mention in a very complex format! Well done!
May. 28, 2011  5:01 AM
 
Thanks. Smile