Untitled Bey Story

Chapter 1 (Click to View)
Critique is desired.
Use Paragraphs.
Please use paragraphs. My eyes hurt. Edit: Ninja'd.

The saying show, don't tell applies here. Instead of he got nervous goosebumps, try to show me he got nervous without saying he was nervous.
Edited.
now much better Grin and ofc Mushy, afterall, I am the Shadow of The Shadows AKA Master Ninja Smug
Really nice story!
I think you should keep writing cause I really think it's good
Thanks for the great input guys. The next chapter should be up soon.
BUMP!! I want chapter...Sorry for being impatient.
Stories take time to craft.. You cannot rush them..
If you wish some critique I can try to give some.
When it says 3, 2, 1, LET IT RIP I do not like it in that format. That makes it seems like it's all going too fast.
Compare.
"BLADERS READY? 3, 2, 1, LET IT RIP!!"
or
"BLADERS, ARE YOU READY FOR BATTLE?" Angus and I both replied "Yes DJ. We're ready."
"THEN LET'S GET THIS BATTLE GOING!"
3!
I tightened my grip.
2!
"This is where I will begin my stride to the top." I thought.
1!
Time to show everyone what I'm made of.
LET IT RIP!!
So tell me, which one looks more appealing to the reader?

Smash, collision, clash, words like that, are being overused after they released their beys.

"Raging Collision" that sounds more like a command then a special move. Even if it's generic, why not something like
"BULL HAMMER!" Bull dropped down just like what the move was named after.
Same with Variares move.

Two paragraphs, one battle? What is this madness, that is entirely too short.. The battle went like this-
Launch.
Collide in midair.
Smash.
Collide.
RAGING COLLISION
Collide.
Metallic Smash.
Bam. End of battle.
WHAT AN AMAZING BATTLE
This was extremely too rushed.

Where exactly did Jason see this black coated man walking into the alleyway? Because as far as I know, it never happened. Add that to the story.

Your main problem with thte story is that you're rushing it - take time, add more detail, don't just sa "collide, collide, BAM SPECIAL MOVE, end of battle" add some dialogue in there. What are the characters thinking when they're in the heat of war? Needs more detail, and less rushing.

I hope this comes out helping you more than it is offending you.
You should Read litlleboy92's story. Especially his battle. I would say it was okay for his story, but as Raigeko13 said,"Your main problem with that story is that you're rushing it". BTW here is the link for litlleboy92's story:His story