The Survival Series [Beyblade Story, accepting character requests ]

Hey! This is my second beyblade story. I'd love it if you could comment, and any character requests would be great. I need someone to be the biggest baddest evil villian in the story character ASAP, this is a important role so I would please like the forms for it to be as good as you can make it! No matter what role it is you are asking for, ( Which you should put on your request) just do your best on the requests and I'll probably let you in.
Chapter 1 is up..
Chapter 1 :
Chapter 2(unfinished)
Roles of people, and roles I would like to be filled
Can she be one of the side main character please?
Character name: Yizui Akato
Bio: Yizui is a girl and is kinda small - 4 8" and her father, who owned the phantom sagittario gave it to her.
Age: 14
Appearance: Usually wears blue jeans and a yellow jumper/ pink jumper.
Lifestyle: Tries to act normal in school but she still remains fairly unpopular - doesn't like anyone being made fun of. There is however one thing she doesn't tell anyone, that her beyblade can get out of control when she does flaming loop.
Bey: Phantom Sagittario TR145BD (Tripple Roller 145 Bearing Drive)
Beyblade Special moves: Ghost Claw, Phantom grip, Flaming Loop

Ghost Claw - The bey does a full power smash attack at the opponent with the tripple roller spin track, resulting in low recoil and effective hits.
Phantom Grip - Not really a special move but the beyblade stands its ground, dodging the attacks like the opponent's beyblade is going through.
Flaming Loop - Beams shoot up from the metal wheels and clear wheels and then shoot downwards, aiming straight for the face bolt. This creates a massive explosion, which makes the opponent's bey knock out of the stadium.

PS. What happened to your last king story?
Hm, it's pretty good, though the whole running thing was a bit long and looks like it's from Wikipedia or something Tongue_out
Anyway, as I'm sure this is just an indri ductwork chapter, I won't judge the story yet, but it seems pretty good so far.
I like it! My character request:

Name: Aaron Green
Age: 15
Appearance: He's 5'5, with blond hair and blue eyes. Wears Adidas outfit.
Lifestyle: He usually trains alone, even though he has friends. He is very friendly and always tries to help out. Despite how his beyblade sounds weak on paper, his special move and attacks are a killer in battle. He's a good and strong blader, and a great guy.
Beyblade: Storm Piper (same as leone clear wheel, design wise)145 RF
Special Move:
Reaching Stroke: Storm Piper flies out of the stadium and comes crashing down, metal first, on the opponents top.
KO Blitz: Piper goes to the peak of the stadium, and uses all of the RF's power to KO the opposing beyblade.

Thanks!
Great work on the story so far, I cannot really judge from this character but a so far good, strong narrative piece. BTW, I would like to help you in this story, so pm whenever you want, I will always be willing to help! Smile
(Aug. 21, 2013  1:29 PM)jacolal Wrote: Great work on the story so far, I cannot really judge from this character but a so far good, strong narrative piece. BTW, I would like to help you in this story, so pm whenever you want, I will always be willing to help! Smile

Yes you shouldn't be able to. I wanted to give a quick image of what the story is about more than what the characters are like Tongue_out

(Aug. 21, 2013  12:59 PM)Ultramarine Wrote: Hm, it's pretty good, though the whole running thing was a bit long and looks like it's from Wikipedia or something Tongue_out
Anyway, as I'm sure this is just an indri ductwork chapter, I won't judge the story yet, but it seems pretty good so far.

Your right Tongue_out People say that alot of information makes a story better. Though, I guess I can just simplify it to " I ran through the door >:I" And btw, I did research that on the internet, because I didn't know how to describe running very well.
I hope my character will be of use to you. I can't wait for chapter 2!!
Name: X kysomo
age:13
beyGrineath Dragoon E230 CF
appearance:black and gray hair grey jacket red shirt black pants black combat boots silver bey launcher and holder and silver tactical. Glove
elements: Sky,light,and Wind

bio:X is just an blader that grew up traveling. The world he is been on his own Since he was 3 when his parents. Died his bey has helped him survive he has an attitude if someone. Gets in his way his bey doesn't. Take carp from anyone he will never give up. He is also an great bey sniper

Special move: Death fang tornado,solid darkness. Wall,secret move
Bey abilities: it has the ability. To block all types of hits,the CF helps it to create a stable steady spinning tornado.
Your character will be that role Jacoal. Just tell me her hair, skin, and eye color. Also, I stopped writing that story for a little bit because I felt like nobody was reading. :I
Don't worry though. I'll still do that story, as long as I get idk 3 or 4 people to say they want me to

(Aug. 21, 2013  1:18 PM)Leone19 Wrote: I like it! My character request:

Name: Aaron Green
Age: 15
Appearance: He's 5'5, with blond hair and blue eyes. Wears Adidas outfit.
Lifestyle: He usually trains alone, even though he has friends. He is very friendly and always tries to help out. Despite how his beyblade sounds weak on paper, his special move and attacks are a killer in battle. He's a good and strong blader, and a great guy.
Beyblade: Storm Piper (same as leone clear wheel, design wise)145 RF
Special Move:
Reaching Stroke: Storm Piper flies out of the stadium and comes crashing down, metal first, on the opponents top.
KO Blitz: Piper goes to the peak of the stadium, and uses all of the RF's power to KO the opposing beyblade.

Thanks!
... Your in!

(Aug. 21, 2013  10:11 PM)XKai_DranzerX Wrote: Name: X kysomo
age:13
beyGrineath Dragoon E230 CF
elements: Sky,Fire,and a bit Ice

bio:X is just an blader that grew up traveling. The world he is been on his own Since he was 3 when his parents. Died his bey has helped him survive he has an attitude if someone. Gets in his way his bey doesn't. Take carp from anyone he will never give up.

Special move: Death fang tornado,solid darkness. Wall,secret move Weapon X

I still need to know his lifestyle, full appearance, and any abillities his beyblade. Besides that it's okay. I don't really want people to chose Fire elements because in my other story every single freaking request was fire elemented, and I didn't like being so limited to one thing.

Hey guys, fun fact! Tongue_out This story is sort of based off of the hunger games. It isn't much near the same plot, but the thing that makes it so close is that any damage your bey takes you take an equivalent damage, and my character is sort of being forced to beyblade.
She has black hair and amber eyes. She is white skin color.
(Aug. 21, 2013  10:24 PM)jacolal Wrote: She has black hair and amber eyes. She is white skin color.

Ty, Tongue_out

(Aug. 21, 2013  10:11 PM)XKai_DranzerX Wrote: Name: X kysomo
age:13
beyGrineath Dragoon E230 CF
appearance:black and gray hair black jacket red shirt black pants Blake combat boots silver bey launcher and holder
elements: Sky,light,and a bit Ice

bio:X is just an blader that grew up traveling. The world he is been on his own Since he was 3 when his parents. Died his bey has helped him survive he has an attitude if someone. Gets in his way his bey doesn't. Take carp from anyone he will never give up.

Special move: Death fang tornado,solid darkness. Wall,secret move Weapon X

Bey abilities: it has the ability. To block all types of hits,the CF helps it to create a stable steady spinning tornado.

Ty for editing it

(Aug. 21, 2013  10:11 PM)XKai_DranzerX Wrote: Name: X kysomo
age:13
beyGrineath Dragoon E230 CF
appearance:black and gray hair black jacket red shirt black pants Blake combat boots silver bey launcher and holder
elements: Sky,light,and a bit Ice

bio:X is just an blader that grew up traveling. The world he is been on his own Since he was 3 when his parents. Died his bey has helped him survive he has an attitude if someone. Gets in his way his bey doesn't. Take carp from anyone he will never give up.

Special move: Death fang tornado,solid darkness. Wall,secret move Weapon X

Bey abilities: it has the ability. To block all types of hits,the CF helps it to create a stable steady spinning tornado.

Ty for editing it

(Aug. 21, 2013  10:24 PM)jacolal Wrote: She has black hair and amber eyes. She is white skin color.

By white do you mean pale or cocasian?

I cannot answer too many post just yet. I am adding a part of the story that shows everyones roles, editing the story, and adding things to make it better. Please wait just a moment.
What does Ty mean
Ty means thank you. And everyone, I will alert you that we are going to need a bad guy character, and possibley 2 other badguys but I have to get the biggest and first one before I can keep writing the story. Ik everyone wants to be a good guy, but come on! Playing the bad guy is fun Tongue_out Plus the bad guy is always overpowered. If I can get this person, I will then write chapter 2. Do not worry about me rushing. I have to write every idea that comes to my head first, then I will take a long while to edit/revise it plus make it higher quality Tongue_out Although I always try to do that when Im writing it, it becomes easier for me to have a second page open, write the story, save it, go to the other page and search for things that aren't right or see if someone commented something that made the story wrong, bad, or uninteresting, do what I can to fix it, and do it even more when I think im done with all that.
I. Don't like fire so.turn all the fire stuff in this bye into ice.

Beyblade Name: Torch Kronos Type: Balance Element: Fire Appearance: Half phoenix - Half Titan Special moves: Phoenix Flaming shield, Devil's Horns, Inferno of trickery

Parts Clear Wheel: Dark Red with black Metal Frame: More like Diablo Spin Track: Tripple Roller 145 Performance tip/4d bottom: Rubber Defense Flat These parts allow the bey to have really strong defense, quite decent attack and most importantly, lots of free and QUICK movement.
The special moves Pheonix Flaming Shield - The bey's speed increases as the performance tip chance to become sharp and the bey makes a shield of fire from the friction produced. Devil's Horns - The fusion wheel/ metal frame combines with the pc frame as the performance tip turns into rubber flat. The bey gives a full on smash attack with low recoil effect. Inferno of trickery: Creates an inferno, which the bey climbs, the inferno sucks the opponent's bey in, forcing it to climb the inferno; but the torch kronos isn't there! it is at the bottom... it turns the inferno upside down, blasting the opponent's bey face first into the the base of the stadium, effectively resulting in a stadium out.
(Aug. 21, 2013  10:42 PM)jacolal Wrote: I. Don't like fire so.turn all the fire stuff in this bye into ice.

Beyblade Name: Torch Kronos Type: Balance Element: Fire Appearance: Half phoenix - Half Titan Special moves: Phoenix Flaming shield, Devil's Horns, Inferno of trickery

Parts Clear Wheel: Dark Red with black Metal Frame: More like Diablo Spin Track: Tripple Roller 145 Performance tip/4d bottom: Rubber Defense Flat These parts allow the bey to have really strong defense, quite decent attack and most importantly, lots of free and QUICK movement.
The special moves Pheonix Flaming Shield - The bey's speed increases as the performance tip chance to become sharp and the bey makes a shield of fire from the friction produced. Devil's Horns - The fusion wheel/ metal frame combines with the pc frame as the performance tip turns into rubber flat. The bey gives a full on smash attack with low recoil effect. Inferno of trickery: Creates an inferno, which the bey climbs, the inferno sucks the opponent's bey in, forcing it to climb the inferno; but the torch kronos isn't there! it is at the bottom... it turns the inferno upside down, blasting the opponent's bey face first into the the base of the stadium, effectively resulting in a stadium out.
I'm sorry for all that work you did for that request, but it isn't fair for everyone else to only get a normal role and for you to have two of the most important roles besides main in the story at once man. Not that your being mean or anything, just saying you got to let everyone shine
Nah no problem but can he at least be a sidekick for the bad guy.
(Aug. 21, 2013  10:54 PM)jacolal Wrote:
Nah no problem but can he at least be a sidekick for the bad guy.

Idk. I never really planned on letting people have more than one character really...
Oh ok that is fine.
Character name: Kai Hanuro
Age: 15
Appearance: Black boy (Medium Skin Tone) with a Black T-Shirt and Blue Jeans (Appear to be Skinny) with a chain in his pocket. He has spike-like wrist bands like this and has Black high top shoes with black accents. He has black dreadlocks.
Bio: He was raised in the dark nebula before it was destroyed. He vowed to get revenge on gingka and his friends therefore, becoming a bad guy. He never knew his parents.
Lifestyle: He doesn't really have a home. He travels to different Bey parks to conquer them and also to search for Gingka. He never cheats in Beyblade though.
Beyblade name: Blitz Eagle W105 R2F
Element: Wind
Beyblades special move(s): Howling Arrow: Shoots itself at the opponents spin track trying to crack it. Dark Wing Slash: A Dark aura surrounds Eagle and it launches up into the air and comes crashing down in the opponents facebolt.
Any particular abillities the beyblade has: It's blitz main wheel is Black and the parts that mode change are Yellow. When he goes into barrage mode he strikes his opponent so much that their wheel starts to chip and then break
Can I edit my character -
Character name: Yizui Akato
Bio: Yizui is a girl and is kinda small - 4 8" and her father, who owned the phantom sagittario gave it to her.
Age: 14
Appearance: Usually wears blue jeans and a yellow jumper/ pink jumper. She has black hair and pale skin. Her eyes are the color amber.
Lifestyle: Tries to act normal in school but she still remains fairly unpopular - doesn't like anyone being made fun of. There is however one thing she doesn't tell anyone, that her beyblade can get out of control when she does flaming loop.

Bey: Phantom Sagittario TR145RDF/BD (Tripple Roller 145 Rubber Defense Flat/ Bearing Drive)
Element: Wind and ghost
Beyblade Special moves: Ghost Claw, Phantom grip, Flaming Loop

Ghost Claw - The bey does a full power smash attack at the opponent with the tripple roller spin track, resulting in low recoil and effective hits.
Phantom Grip - Not really a special move but the beyblade stands its ground, dodging the attacks like the opponent's beyblade is going through.
Flaming Loop - Beams shoot up from the metal wheels and clear wheels and then shoot downwards, aiming straight for the face bolt. This creates a massive explosion, which makes the opponent's bey knock out of the stadium.

Beyblade special abilities: The TR spin track and bearing drive provide balance and speed, which means the bey has a special ability - ghost evasion. This is where the bey seems to be vulnerable, but actually, it dodges at the precise moment of impact, providing a tad spin steal and an effective evade.
(Aug. 22, 2013  7:27 PM)Samurai_Ifraid1 Wrote: Character name: Kai Hanuro
Age: 15
Appearance: Black boy (Medium Skin Tone) with a Black T-Shirt and Blue Jeans (Appear to be Skinny) with a chain in his pocket. He has spike-like wrist bands like this and has Black high top shoes with black accents. He has black dreadlocks.
Bio: He was raised in the dark nebula before it was destroyed. He vowed to get revenge on gingka and his friends therefore, becoming a bad guy. He never knew his parents.
Lifestyle: He doesn't really have a home. He travels to different Bey parks to conquer them and also to search for Gingka. He never cheats in Beyblade though.
Beyblade name: Blitz Eagle W105 R2F
Element: Wind
Beyblades special move(s): Howling Arrow: Shoots itself at the opponents spin track trying to crack it. Dark Wing Slash: A Dark aura surrounds Eagle and it launches up into the air and comes crashing down in the opponents facebolt.
Any particular abillities the beyblade has: It's blitz main wheel is Black and the parts that mode change are Yellow. When he goes into barrage mode he strikes his opponent so much that their wheel starts to chip and then break

I like it! Your in!!! I'm very busy today, so I cant edit stuff now, but I will later!

(Aug. 22, 2013  7:46 PM)jacolal Wrote: Can I edit my character -
Character name: Yizui Akato
Bio: Yizui is a girl and is kinda small - 4 8" and her father, who owned the phantom sagittario gave it to her.
Age: 14
Appearance: Usually wears blue jeans and a yellow jumper/ pink jumper. She has black hair and pale skin. Her eyes are the color amber.
Lifestyle: Tries to act normal in school but she still remains fairly unpopular - doesn't like anyone being made fun of. There is however one thing she doesn't tell anyone, that her beyblade can get out of control when she does flaming loop.

Bey: Phantom Sagittario TR145BD (Tripple Roller 145 Bearing Drive)
Element: Wind and ghost
Beyblade Special moves: Ghost Claw, Phantom grip, Flaming Loop

Ghost Claw - The bey does a full power smash attack at the opponent with the tripple roller spin track, resulting in low recoil and effective hits.
Phantom Grip - Not really a special move but the beyblade stands its ground, dodging the attacks like the opponent's beyblade is going through.
Flaming Loop - Beams shoot up from the metal wheels and clear wheels and then shoot downwards, aiming straight for the face bolt. This creates a massive explosion, which makes the opponent's bey knock out of the stadium.

Beyblade special abilities: The TR spin track and bearing drive provide balance and speed, which means the bey has a special ability - ghost evasion. This is where the bey seems to be vulnerable, but actually, it dodges at the precise moment of impact, providing a tad spin steal and an effective evade.
yes you can edit it
Bearing Drive is a 4D bottom...
Anyways,
Name: Myles Yamato
Bio: Myles is an immature kid always trying to prove hs skills to others. He is 4"5.
Age:11
Appearance: Myles is a short kid with blond hair and purple eyes. He wears a purple hoodie with white stripes. His pants are blue jeans and he wears white shoes with purple laces.
Bey: Omega Wolf 90MF. The clear wheel is purple and the track and tip are white. (Track and Tip are subject to change.)
Element: Earth
Special moves: Final Hunt
Wolf rears back and let's out a howl as it charges toward the opposing bey with amazing sipped, so much that the bey glows purple. When contact is made, an explosion of white light ends the move.
Just so ya know, I am still writing this! School has sort of gotten in the way, I will devote my free time tommorow to write a chapter.
I've edited my character just look at the post. I've added beyblade abilities and I've givenmore info about her lifestyle.