I hate and love to read stories like this around people. I can definitely respect anyone expressing how they truly feel like this. Good for you dude.
I never thought I'd ever actually have the chance to voice my life on here. With such a small community, I supposed getting you guys to know me a little better wouldn't hurt. After all, I've been a member here for over three years and I feel like I just went from an idiot, to a smart carp, to a dude that doesn't even hardly post. Well, I think I'll let you all know the real me, not my entire life story, but some general information. A pathway.
My name is Zane. I joined the WBO when I was 13 years old. Back then I didn't have a worry in the world aside from making sure my friends didn't know I still played with Beyblades. Junior High was a terrific time for me. I loved my teachers. I loved my friends. I felt like I had a lot. I loved life.
Next thing I knew my parents were divorced. That started a whole new life for me, essentially two. It's when all of the disorders I know I have today really started to show their symptoms. I went into High School feeling pretty good. That was until I realized I lost everything. I didn't have my friends. They were all still at my school, but they disappeared from me completely. I went through my Freshman year with a very select amount of people by my side. My freshman year is when I had my first panic attack at school which was pretty embarrassing. It was then I was put on anxiety medicine which does nothing for me.
Once summer came, I met a really awesome girl. We started dating a month after we met. In this time, someone very close to me attempted suicide. It tore me apart because he/she was the strongest person I ever knew. Both my parents lost their jobs at one point. It was a very stressful time. I started self harming around this time. I didn't have anyone to stop me. My girlfriend had went on vacation for a few weeks and the only thing that kept me from killing myself was her and her phone calls. Well, the summer went on.
Sophomore year came around. I had my small group of friends as always. It was going great. My grades were good, I was improving in Cross Country, but since everything bad strikes at the worst time, my girlfriend had to end the relationship for certain reasons. It destroyed me. She was the person I told everything, the person I could lean and cry, the person who said they'd never hurt me. The self harming returned. I nearly killed myself for real this time. From then to now, I'm still depressed and lost. My grades are at an all time low. All I have is myself and my ex-girlfriend that is still my best friend. I have all I need, but depression doesn't need a reason I have learned.
All I can tell any of you is to never view the dark side of life. Always stay in the light because if you are in the dark too long you won't see again. All of you are great people despite any "past" we have had. I'm glad to be a member here.
still posi