Here is my 2nd attempt at a story.

Odin's Legend/Chapter 1 (Click to View)

Chapter 1
Odin's Legend
"BEEP!" the alarm rang. I was awoke to the same noise as always. I sighed and got up to get dressed. I got on my skinny jeans, my green t-shirt, and my signature blue leather jacket. I grabbed my launcher and grip. Finally, I got my bey, Shaman Odin SD150CD. I am Sky Uritoma, the wielder of the legendary Odin. "Odin, we will fight for number 1!" Odin was no special bey, just one I crafted myself. I crafted SD150 which is Staff Defense 150mm, and Claw Defense, or CD. I ran outside as a cool breeze swept over me. I ran to the town's BeyPark. It was a large stadium with 4 stadiums in it. I ran in to see construction happening in the middle, a Zero-G stadium was being built! I saw my friends, Yoshi Turokima and Night Kameki. "Hey Sky!" shouted Yoshi and Night. "My Sorcerer Medusa will get you this time bro!" exclaimed Yoshi. Yoshi's bey was Sorcerer Medusa S130SF. "You're going down this time Sky!" shouted Night. Night's bey was Brute Cyclops TS145EWB. Night had black hair with blond highlights, A black jacket, and loose jeans. Yoshi had a white t-shirt, black shorts, brown hair, and glasses. I decided to battle Night first. "3,2,1 GO SHOOT!" we yelled. "Go Cyclops!" said Night. Cyclops knocked back Odin with tremendous force. "Odin! To the skies!" I yelled. Odin soared in the air, I was glad I wasn't battling in the Zero-G stadium. I crashed down on Cyclops. "Special Move! Lightning Sky Hammer!" I shouted. Odin jumped into the air as a blue aura surrounded Odin and I. Lightning came up all around Odin and he came crashing down. Cyclops flew out of the stadium. "Argh!" yelled Night. Next, I was battling Yoshi, who I was determined to defeat...

The Pixie/ Chapter 2 (Click to View)

Chapter 2
The Pixie
I put my arms up in victory. One more win for me! But, Yoshi was up next, and he was strong. I looked behind me to see a girl in the corner, who seemed extremely shy. Yoshi walked up to me and said, " Okay Sky, you're going down." I set my bey on my launcher, I was nervous. Sorcerer Medusa can be a real destroyer. "3,2,1 GO SHOOT!" we yelled. But, I heard one more voice besides Yoshi and I. A unknown bey was in the middle of the stadium. "I don't know who you are, but you're going down too!" yelled Yoshi as Medusa raced towards the mysterious bey. I knew something was up. When Medusa made contact with the bey, Medusa flew out of the stadium onto the other side of the park and Yoshi went chasing after it. The girl in the corner took Yoshi's place. "I am Ayuma Katikani! And I will destroy you with my Twisted Pixie 145WD!" she said in a quiet, but direct voice. This bey looked like it had great defense power. Ayuma had short red hair, blue eyes, tan skin, freckles, a long blue dress, white flats, and a white headband with a big bow. "Go Pixie!" said Ayuma. Pixie smashed into Odin with great smash attack. She was good.
"C'mon Odin!" I yelled. I felt the energy rise up in me. Odin ran into Pixie and knocked her into the air. "Bring em' down!" I shouted. This was one of Odin's legendary combos, the hammer drop. Odin brought down Pixie with extreme power. A grin spread across Ayuma's face. "Go! Sleepy Dust!" yelled Ayuma excitedly. Sparkly dust filled the stadium and Odin stood in one place, and didn't move. I hated these moves, the tricky ones that disable your bey. I felt the lightning aura sorround me and Odin. The power was too great, Odin broke out of the spell. "No Escaping! Go! Enchanted Twist!" shouted Ayuma. "Go! Lightning Sky Hammer!" I exclaimed. Pixie rushed with incredible speed, twisting in a sparkly viel. Odin jumped in the air, surrounded by lightning. Both beys clashed and a explosion filled the BeyPark. Pixie was besides Ayuma. "Aw, you beat me." said Ayuma. I was so happy, what an intense battle! "Hey you should really try out the qualifier tourney for the big Legend Battles, you could make a legend of that Odin you got there." said Ayuma. Ayuma walked away waving as I said, "Thanks! Battle you again soon!" Then, my quest was found, to make Shaman Odin a legend

The Birth of the Legendaries and The Griff/Chapter 3 (Click to View)

Chapter 3
The Birth of the Legendaries and The Griff
I saw the program for the Legend Battles and I was interested. Bladers from all over the world would fight to be the best. But it all started with the qualifiers. Yoshi, Night, and I made a team called The Legendaries. Even though it wasn't a team tournament each victory would be dedicated to the team. We ran to the qualifier that Ayuma told us about. " I'm really pumped!" exclaimed Yoshi. We registered so fast that the register said; " Young bladers these days, so excited." The first match was Yoshi versus Arthur Kirkland. I didn't see Arthur around, so I would have to wait until the battle. Yoshi walked up to the podium. A 15 year old with blonde spikey hair, brown eyes, a scar under his right eye, a black over-coat with red cuffs, a black tie, a red under-shirt, red baggy pants tucked in brown boots, and a axe on his shoulder. "I wish to have a great battle, but try hard." said Arthur. "3,2,1 GO SHOOT!" they yelled. Arthur's bey was Archer Griff C145S. "C'mon Griff!" said Arthur in a serious tone. Griff smashed into Medusa, sending her flying. "Recover Medusa!" yelled Yoshi. I could tell Yoshi was getting angry. Medusa crashed into Griff, who went twisted back. "Special Move! Medusa! Poison Snake Strike!" shouted Yoshi now surrounded in a purple aura. Medusa smashed into Griff followed by a trail of a poison-like substance. Griff flew in the air. "Special Move! Hawk Eye Smash!" yelled Arthur. Griff smashed down on Medusa, sending her right next to Yoshi. "Great battle bro." exclaimed Arthur as he walked away. I knew Arthur could not be underestimated...

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Tell me what you think!
Here's the format for requests:
Name:
Looks:
Personality:
Bey:
Special Move(s):
New chapters will be in the OP!
POST AWAY!

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"I'll solve equations with my right hand and write names with my left. I'll take a potato chip... and eat it!"- Yagami Light

You're off to a wonderful start! I can't wait to see how this story goes! Here's my character request:

Name: Ayumu Katikani

Looks: Short red hair, blue eyes, tan skin, freckles, wears a long blue dress, white flats, and a white headband with a big bow on it...

Personality: She is extremely shy yet very kind. She fears spiders and losing to boys.

Bey: Twisted Pixie 145WD

Special Moves: Sleepy Dust, Enchanted Twist

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Hm, pretty good start... Here's my character request:

Name: Jennings Tate

Looks: Darker-skinned, Brown pants, dark green shirt, brown jacket, brown converse shoes, and a dark green wristband...

Personality: Just your average blader. Starts off easy in battle, then builds up strength... Does tend to talk a bit, though...

Bey: Spiral Zurafa CH120WF

Special Moves: Spin-track Change, Spiral Blitz, Omega Twister

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Come check out my Youtube Channel here! It's all about video games!

Thanks 4 feedback and requests guys.

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"I'll solve equations with my right hand and write names with my left. I'll take a potato chip... and eat it!"- Yagami Light

Pretty good so far! The begining where he gets ready and meets his friend kinda reminds me of my story. Anyways, I'd like to make a request:

Name: Arthur Kirkland

Appearance: He has blonde, spikey hair and brown eyes. He has a scar under his right eye. He wears a black over coat with red cuffs, a black tie, and a red under shirt. He wears red, baggy pants tucked into brown boots. He also carries around an axe on his shoulder.

Personality: He is 15 years old, Brittish, a popular person, nice, and is considered the hero. In social enviroments, he loves joking around and being the nice person. In battle he gets serious and watches the opponents bey closely. He can read the movements of beys and memorize them, for he has a photographic memory.

Bey: Archer Griff C145S

Special Moves: Soaring Slicer, Hawk Eye Smash

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I Have No Idea What I'm Doing With My Life Right Now

Hm...
The story's plot-line and even fluency is unclear. As in, I didn't really-and still don't-know what's happening. Yes, you can be going for that effect but you have to make it so you don't know what's going to happen next, not just unclear and confusing writing.

Also, you do have some descriptions, but you could easily elaborate. We want to be in this characters head: what he's thinking, feeling; try to make us understand everything about him. If he's not supposed to be understood, make that clear and elaborate on it.

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"Life isn't about how hard you can hit;
it's about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward"
{[YT]} [|BEYBLOG|] (â—ŠSoG-My Bookâ—Š)/<DA>\

Hm...
The story's plot-line and even fluency is unclear. As in, I didn't really-and still don't-know what's happening. Yes, you can be going for that effect but you have to make it so you don't know what's going to happen next, not just unclear and confusing writing.

Also, you do have some descriptions, but you could easily elaborate. We want to be in this characters head: what he's thinking, feeling; try to make us understand everything about him. If he's not supposed to be understood, make that clear and elaborate on it.

Thanks Sparta, but at first, the story has no plot, but after all the battling, the plot appears. Thanks for the other criticism.

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Chapter 2 up soon!

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Heres chapter 2!

Spoiler (Click to View)

Chapter 2
The Pixie
I put my arms up in victory. One more win for me! But, Yoshi was up next, and he was strong. I looked behind me to see a girl in the corner, who seemed extremely shy. Yoshi walked up to me and said, " Okay Sky, you're going down." I set my bey on my launcher, I was nervous. Sorcerer Medusa can be a real destroyer. "3,2,1 GO SHOOT!" we yelled. But, I heard one more voice besides Yoshi and I. A unknown bey was in the middle of the stadium. "I don't know who you are, but you're going down too!" yelled Yoshi as Medusa raced towards the mysterious bey. I knew something was up. When Medusa made contact with the bey, Medusa flew out of the stadium onto the other side of the park and Yoshi went chasing after it. The girl in the corner took Yoshi's place. "I am Ayuma Katikani! And I will destroy you with my Twisted Pixie 145WD!" she said in a quiet, but direct voice. This bey looked like it had great defense power. Ayuma had short red hair, blue eyes, tan skin, freckles, a long blue dress, white flats, and a white headband with a big bow. "Go Pixie!" said Ayuma. Pixie smashed into Odin with great smash attack. She was good.
"C'mon Odin!" I yelled. I felt the energy rise up in me. Odin ran into Pixie and knocked her into the air. "Bring em' down!" I shouted. This was one of Odin's legendary combos, the hammer drop. Odin brought down Pixie with extreme power. A grin spread across Ayuma's face. "Go! Sleepy Dust!" yelled Ayuma excitedly. Sparkly dust filled the stadium and Odin stood in one place, and didn't move. I hated these moves, the tricky ones that disable your bey. I felt the lightning aura sorround me and Odin. The power was too great, Odin broke out of the spell. "No Escaping! Go! Enchanted Twist!" shouted Ayuma. "Go! Lightning Sky Hammer!" I exclaimed. Pixie rushed with incredible speed, twisting in a sparkly viel. Odin jumped in the air, surrounded by lightning. Both beys clashed and a explosion filled the BeyPark. Pixie was besides Ayuma. "Aw, you beat me." said Ayuma. I was so happy, what an intense battle! "Hey you should really try out the qualifier tourney for the big Legend Battles, you could make a legend of that Odin you got there." said Ayuma. Ayuma walked away waving as I said, "Thanks! Battle you again soon!" Then, my quest was found, to make Shaman Odin a legend

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"I'll solve equations with my right hand and write names with my left. I'll take a potato chip... and eat it!"- Yagami Light

Name: Allen Night
Lookspiky black hair, light black skin tone,violet eyes dark blue pants,black and white sneakers,orange shirt and a blue mostly white leather jacket.
Personality:Ruthless and confident while blading until he get serious and calm and sometimes anti social when not blading and kind hearted.
beyblade: justice susanow GS145 CEF
special moveusanow punisher

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Chapter 3 will be up soon!

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"I'll solve equations with my right hand and write names with my left. I'll take a potato chip... and eat it!"- Yagami Light

Nice start. This will be a great story.

~X-Saber

Chapter 3
Chapter 3 
The Birth of the Legendaries and The Griff 
I saw the program for the Legend Battles and I was interested. Bladers from all over the world would fight to be the best. But it all started with the qualifiers. Yoshi, Night, and I made a team called The Legendaries. Even though it wasn't a team tournament each victory would be dedicated to the team. We ran to the qualifier that Ayuma told us about. " I'm really pumped!" exclaimed Yoshi. We registered so fast that the register said; " Young bladers these days, so excited." The first match was Yoshi versus Arthur Kirkland. I didn't see Arthur around, so I would have to wait until the battle. Yoshi walked up to the podium. A 15 year old with blonde spikey hair, brown eyes, a scar under his right eye, a black over-coat with red cuffs, a black tie, a red under-shirt, red baggy pants tucked in brown boots, and a axe on his shoulder. "I wish to have a great battle, but try hard." said Arthur. "3,2,1 GO SHOOT!" they yelled. Arthur's bey was Archer Griff C145S. "C'mon Griff!" said Arthur in a serious tone. Griff smashed into Medusa, sending her flying. "Recover Medusa!" yelled Yoshi. I could tell Yoshi was getting angry. Medusa crashed into Griff, who went twisted back. "Special Move! Medusa! Poison Snake Strike!" shouted Yoshi now surrounded in a purple aura. Medusa smashed into Griff followed by a trail of a poison-like substance. Griff flew in the air. "Special Move! Hawk Eye Smash!" yelled Arthur. Griff smashed down on Medusa, sending her right next to Yoshi. "Great battle bro." exclaimed Arthur as he walked away. I knew Arthur could not be underestimated...

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"I'll solve equations with my right hand and write names with my left. I'll take a potato chip... and eat it!"- Yagami Light

Wonderful Chapter 2 and 3a! I love the way you portrayed my character, and the battle was intense! Sorcerer Medusa? That is one carpin' awesome name for a bey!

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Great chapter! Although, there are a few typos. Other than that, the story's going great and I love how my character is doing so far, lol.

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I Have No Idea What I'm Doing With My Life Right Now

Chapter 4

Spoiler (Click to View)

Chapter 4
Zurafa's Rage
It was my turn to battle, and I was nervous. I wondered if I would be facing a opponent as strong as Arthur. Yoshi was still sulking around about how he "Failed the team." It was pretty funny to see the hyped-up guy go low. I trained a little bit by just launching Odin at targets. I looked at my watch in the middle of training. It was 9:56, and the match was at 10:00! At that instant I grabbed my launcher and Odin and sprinted with all my might. I made it there out of breath. I ran up to battle. "Hello! This match is Sky Uritoma versus Jennings Tate!" yelled the Blader DJ. "Hello! Lets battle!" said Jennings. He was darker-skinned, had brown pants, a dark green shirt, a brown jacket, brown converse shoes, and a dark green waistband. "3,2,1 GO SHOOT!" we yelled. Jennings's bey was Spiral Zurafa CH120WF. "So, that's a nice bey you got there. So Get em' Zurafa!" said Jennings with a quick change of subject. Zurafa charged head-on at Odin, who quickly counter attacked. "You're tough, I've just started." yelled Jennings. Now, Zurafa was just hitting with light attacks, I knew this wasn't his full power, or even a third. Zurafa's attacks were getting heavier each time he attacked. Odin got knocked back, his counters weren't working! "Now Zurafa! Spin-Track Change!" shouted Jennings. Zurafa got taller due to the change. Zurafa used heavy upper attacks. Then, I started attacking, but it was useless. Jennings started to tell be a story. "I'll finish this! Go! Omega Twister!" yelled Jennings. I felt the anger rush through me, why wouldn't this guy shut up! The lightning aura consumed me. "GO! LEGEND STORM DESTROY RUSH!" I screamed. A green energy-like twister came out of Zurafa. Odin went around the stadium as fast as lighting leaving a trail of lightning. There was a explosion of lightning. Odin's beast came out, It was the god, Odin. Odin slammed down his staff and another explosion happened, blasting Zurafa out of the stadium into a tree. Odin was in the middle of the stadium, now in normal form. I had won, and completed my first step to becoming a legend

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"I'll solve equations with my right hand and write names with my left. I'll take a potato chip... and eat it!"- Yagami Light

Epic! Here's a character request:

Name: Jason Arivu
Looks: Tanned, shiny white teeth, black-haired fohawk, light green eyes, glasses. A signature beyblade shirt, black skinny jeans, red Vans slip ons.

Personality: Bookworm/bey mechanic, talkative(only about beyblade though), can't keep love secrets. He can be shy sometimes, and he keeps hiding in the shadows.

Bey: Destined Minerva 230WB

Special Move(s): Any move you want BladerBro742. Just at least have 2 moves! Good Luck!

Extras: He gets all the girls....BUT, he sucks at blading! He Watched Sky in the championships and tried to learn from him. But he couldn't.

Chapter 5

Spoiler (Click to View)

Chapter 5 
The Mechanic 
I decided to go to a bey shop to get Odin fixed up after the tough battle. I went to the shop that just opened. The mechanic's eyes widened as I walked in. He had shiny white teeth, tanned skin, a black-haired fohawk, light green eyes, glasses, a signature Beyblade shirt, black skinny jeans, and red Vans slip-ons. "Hi. I'm Jason Arivu, you were awesome at the qualifier, I watched the whole thing." said the Mechanic. "Thanks Bro!" I replied as I handed over Odin. He examined my bey. "So, do you do Beyblade?" I questioned. "I sorta do, but I suck." he replied quietly. "I watched you, then tried to learn from it, but it didn't work." he mumbled. I smiled, "I guess I can teach you in person!" I exclaimed. Jason's jaw dropped. "Really?" he asked gob stopped. "Yeah! Let's go to the BeyPark!" I replied. We ran there, and boy, Jason was excited. The main thing I noticed, all the girls that we passed, winked at Jason. Must be good with the ladies. We walked into the BeyPark. "My bey is Destined Minerva 230WB." stated Jason. "Launch your bey." I commanded. He launched very wobbly and off-balance. I fixed his hand position. "Launch again." I said. He launched it correctly. "Now let's battle." commanded Jason with a determined gleam in his eyes. "Now remember, use your Blader spirit, fight your hardest, pour out your soul." I instituted. "3,2,1 GO SHOOT!" we yelled. "I want to see your power. Let loose the demons of your soul." I said mysteriously. A purple aura surrounded Jason and Minerva. "GO! GALACTIC DESTINY BLAZER!" yelled Jason. Energy flew up into the air. Apparently, the power was to great, and Minerva flew out of the stadium, not too great. I laughed. "We'll have to work on that." I joked. "I want you to join my team, The Legendaries." I offered. "Yes Please!" he replied. I knew Jason would help Odin and I become legends...

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"I'll solve equations with my right hand and write names with my left. I'll take a potato chip... and eat it!"- Yagami Light

Eh, I could've had Jennings play a little bit more of a role, but the chapter's not bad!

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Come check out my Youtube Channel here! It's all about video games!