The Beyblade Jackals (Taking Character Requests)

Poll: How do you like the story?

Love It!
9.09%
1
Like it.
63.64%
7
It's ok..i guess...
9.09%
1
Pretty bad, bro.
18.18%
2
Total: 100% 11 vote(s)
cool, man!
Thanks man Grin
i hope you're ready for Zane to be in C3!!
I like it
...Can I rant on this now?
Why is it that people's chapters are ONE FREAKING PARAGRAPH? Really, it's insulting to the rest of us writers. Lengthen it, dude! Even then, it's a block of text filled with characters I don't care about. Plus, character requests. After Chapter 3, stop them. Use the ones suggested and make them recurring characters that pop up every once in a while. Like many members here, the commas...where the hell are they? Your character does not seem to be a Mary-Sue yet, I applaud that, but please avoid the "falling from the sky" thing from now on, okay?

Mini-rant is over. The story is decent at best.
Name: Alastor
Beyblade: Flash Horuseus(green clear wheel) GB145R2F. Attack Type
Special Move: Flash Freeze Finish. Horuseus instantly stops moving(still spinning),a green light shines,and Horuseus explodes,doing a little damage to itself though(not destroying it or anything)
Personality: Shy,a boy of few words,but he is passionate for beyblade and will never give up even if his life is on the line.
Clothing: Black Skinny Jeans with a belt hanging, showing his beyblade case and his launcher case. He wears Green,black,and grey high-top shoes, a plain yellow t-shirt with a grey jacket over it(open). He also has brown eyes and longish really dark brown hair(almost black),his skin tone is a tannish-brown.

I love the story so far! Apollo seems like a cool bey.
Name: Jake Toshiko
Beyblade: Galaxy Susanoow 105 F
Special Move: Galaxy's Light: Light come's down from the sky to stadium and Galaxy Susanoow goes trough of it and gets good power and crashes to enemy. THIS IS NOT INSTANT WIN!
Personality: Happy guy, but hates losing...
Clothing: White jacket, brown eyes, blue jeans, white spiky hair and black shoes.
This story is REALLY cool! I LOVE Blaze Apollo! You should read my bey story, Bound by the Bey: Sekenorou's Chains! I am also open for character requests! This is my charachter request:

Name: Silaka Tamio (female)

Bey: Poison Libra, Spin Track WA130, Performance Tip ES

Special Move: Poison Wave

Appearance: Spiky yet short red hair, emerald green eyes, freckles, pale skin

Clothes: Knee-length jeans, blue t-shirt, pink heart-shaped locket

Personality: Very cheerful yet very shy, is deathly afraid of spiders and of losing
Name max
Bey ldrago destroy fs
Special moves mirage destruction and meteo destruction
Look brown hair blue eyes black tee jeans and black sneakers
Pesonality fierce competitive and a lone wolf but will take help if needed and knows his limits