Story Beyblade Fangs of Flame

Poll: What do you thing of my story?

Its really good.
0%
0
It's pretty good.
0%
0
It has potential.
0%
0
It's kinda bad
100.00%
1
It's aweful
0%
0
Total: 100% 1 vote(s)
Chapter 1 Rage of the White Tiger

I was laying down on a bench at the train station sleeping, My long dark hair in my face as i closed my dark-amber eyes, ticket in hand. The ticket was for the next train to Beijing. My name is Fai my ,last name is unimportant, I'm a runaway. I was born into a noble family, most would consider me lucky but, long story short it sucked. My parents were such autocrats, I was forced into playing violin, spending hours studying noble mannerisms, and having my parents pick and choose my friends. I wasn't allowed to make any of my own decisions. Soon I began sneaking out and running off into the slums where I made a few real friends ,Mai, Bo, Jiang, and Lin. We hung out together all the time and soon, they introduced me to beyblade. I met up with them and saw them playing beyblade in a large dish. "Whatcha guys doin?" I asked "Playin beyblade" replied Bo. "What is beyblade?" I asked. "Try it" replied Lin handing me a Spinning top and what I assumed was a launcher. "How do I play?" I asked. Jiang explained the rules to me. "3..2..1.. Let it Rip!!" I shouted as I launched the beyblade into the stadium. I watched as my bey collided with Jiang's and released a shower of sparks. I felt excitement rise in me as the two tops collided. Jiang eventually knocked my bey out of the stadium, but I wasn't upset instead, I wanted to play even more, we played for hours. At home I began to watch tournaments on TV when my parents weren't around, and studied all sorts of different battles and strategies. On my sixteenth birthday my parents unveiled the worst news., I was to be married via arranged marriage in 6 months! I ran to the slums angry and upset and then I saw my friends. They had gotten me a small cake with a single candle on it, its flames casting light over the area around us. They also had a box wrapped up next to the cake. "Make a wish" said Lin. "I wish I wasn't born a noble." I said to myself as I blew out the candle. "What dids you wish for" asked Jiang. "I cant tell you" I replied with a smile. I unwrapped my gift and smiled for inside was a beyblade with a white and blue energy ring in the shape of a pair of claws, and a fusion wheel that had long spikes protruding from it. Underneath the bey had a clear W105 spin-track and the Xtreme Flat performance tip. "Where did youy guys get this?" I asked. "A man gave it to us for free saying that this belonged to you" said Jiang. Its name is Edge Tigreros. I smiled. "Listen meet me here at eight o'clock ok?" I commanded. "Ok" said all four of my friends collectively. I ran home as fast as I could and when I got there I grabbed a backpack and packed some of my belongings into it. Then ran back to the slums. I decided that I was going to rum-away. I would not marry a woman that my parents hand picked for me. I got there at * o'clock sharp and saw my friends step out of the shadows. "So whats up?" said Bo. "I've decided to run away and I just wanted to thank you guys.. for everything." I replied. "Where will you go?" asked Mai. "I don't know" I replied. "But I'll come and viset every once and a while OK" I said with a smile. Thats how I got where I am now sleeping at a train station. I sat up to see that my train had arrived, I boarded anxious to tell my friends about my adventures.
End of chapter 1

(Note) It's kind of a slow start but it gets better during chapter 2
Please Remember to Vote and give me some Feedback
Seriously post some feedback cause I wanna know if I'm any good
...It's far from good. It really seems like you simply threw together something with beybades in it. The spacing between commas is pretty bad. (You don't put a space before a comma.) The story is a wall of text, and the "I'm a noble, but I hate it!" thing is pretty forced. Plus, your spelling is still bad. Did you listen to the criticism I gave you last time?
Ok maybe I should just give up I'm no good anyway
Eh, you asked for honest criticism, you got honest criticism. Just improve. It's simple. Of course, simple doesn't mean easy.