Spoiler (Click to View)

A warm, yet breezy evening blanketed over the city of Mumbai. The lanes, streets and buildings presented a beautiful spectacle of glowing, tired lights.

"Please put on your seat belts. The flight is about to land".

As I peered down from the airplane's window, I felt someone giving a jerk to my hand.

"Put on your seat belt, son. Didn't you hear the announcement?" my mother said.

After being scolded for not paying attention to important announcements, I peeped out of the window again. I was extremely excited as I had returned to my city after an extremely tiring trip. The city gleamed with lights owing to the festival of Diwali. I finally found a perfect occasion to ask for something I always wanted, a beyblade! I had gone through a new website I had found, and had decided which bey to buy after a bit of research. I couldn't thank WBO and BeyWiki more for providing me with all the info I needed on what to buy!

"Mom! I was just thinking, it's the festival of Diwali." I said.

"So?" My mom replied with a blank face.

"Um, I thought of spending my money on something I wanted all this while." I replied nervously.

"What is it? I hope you are not gonna buy any childish toy, this time." My mom said.

"No! No! I want a beyblade!" I replied with enthusiasm.

"Ah, not that stupid toy again. I told you, no childish toys!" my mom's face flushed with anger.

"But mom, the box clearly says that it is meant for children above the age of eight years!" I started to argue.

"OK fine, we'll see. Let this flight land first. We will talk about this when we reach home. Let's see what your dad has to say about this." my mom ended the topic like every adult does.

"Hm. As per what I read on WBO, Hell Kerbecs would help me a lot for beybattles. But then again, I cannot miss out on Lightning L Drago..." I thought to myself.

Even though I had already decided over the purchase, I just wanted to be sure that the bey I buy should be good.

"I think mom would not mind if I buy two beys. But, what if she lets me have just one?" I thought.

"Beyblade is so irresistible! I just can't help it! I would never be able to survive with just one beyblade in my hand. Now, I will have to try my best to convince both, mom and dad. Then, I will join WBO and say thanks to everyone! They have helped me to decide on what to buy! I will have to express my gratitude towards them!" Thoughts of beyblade were spamming my brain now.

"I can't wait to go home! I am sure dad will agree!"

Well, I am back into story writing! Thanks to BeybladePotter! After reading his story, I was inspired to start writing again! Hope you all like it!

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Team IB Revolutions

Thanks to N0body for the avatar and Synth for the signature!

I'm a girl yo.

Anyways, I fixed it up a bit. You don't want too much spacing.

Spoiler (Click to View)

A warm, yet breezy evening blanketed over the city of Mumbai. The lanes, streets and buildings presented a beautiful spectacle of glowing, tired lights.

"Please put on your seat belts. The flight is about to land".

As I peered down from the airplane's window, I felt someone giving a jerk to my hand.

"Put on your seat belt, son. Didn't you hear the announcement?" my mother said.

After being scolded for not paying attention to important announcements, I peeped out of the window again. I was extremely excited as I had returned to my city after an extremely tiring trip. The city gleamed with lights owing to the festival of Diwali. I finally found a perfect occasion to ask for something I always wanted, a beyblade! I had gone through a new website I had found, and had decided which bey to buy after a bit of research. I couldn't thank WBO and BeyWiki more for providing me with all the info I needed on what to buy!

"Mom! I was just thinking, it's the festival of Diwali." I said.

"So?" My mom replied with a blank face.

"Um, I thought of spending my money on something I wanted all this while." I replied nervously.

"What is it? I hope you are not gonna buy any childish toy, this time." My mom said.

"No! No! I want a beyblade!" I replied with enthusiasm.

"Ah, not that stupid toy again. I told you, no childish toys!" my mom's face flushed with anger.

"But mom, the box clearly says that it is meant for children above the age of eight years!" I started to argue.

"OK fine, we'll see. Let this flight land first. We will talk about this when we reach home. Let's see what your dad has to say about this." my mom ended the topic like every adult does.

"Hm. As per what I read on WBO, Hell Kerbecs would help me a lot for beybattles. But then again, I cannot miss out on Lightning L Drago..." I thought to myself.

Even though I had already decided over the purchase, I just wanted to be sure that the bey I buy should be good.

"I think mom would not mind if I buy two beys. But, what if she lets me have just one?" I thought.

"Beyblade is so irresistible! I just can't help it! I would never be able to survive with just one beyblade in my hand. Now, I will have to try my best to convince both, mom and dad. Then, I will join WBO and say thanks to everyone! They have helped me to decide on what to buy! I will have to express my gratitude towards them!" Thoughts of beyblade were spamming my brain now.

"I can't wait to go home! I am sure dad will agree!"

---

"You want something to happen? Make it happen."
[Novel] The Andromeda Files : The End Of Eternity

Oops! I never knew that you were a girl. Sorry!
Thanks a lot!
Oh, so spacing is not required.
Also, should thoughts be italicized? If yes, then I've done it.
Btw, Fixed!
Is it good?

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Team IB Revolutions

Thanks to N0body for the avatar and Synth for the signature!

With this new stroy up..I was thinking..what happened to the previous story Big Bang Organization? You left that one abridged at the time when I thought it was about to reach the climax or did it get completed and I missed the ending?

Dialogue (Click to View)

"Mom! I was just thinking, it's the festival of Diwali." I said.

"So?" My mom replied with a blank face.

"Um, I thought of spending my money on something I wanted all this while." I replied nervously.

"What is it? I hope you are not gonna buy any childish toy, this time." My mom said.

"No! No! I want a beyblade!" I replied with enthusiasm.

"Ah, not that stupid toy again. I told you, no childish toys!" my mom's face flushed with anger.

"But mom, the box clearly says that it is meant for children above the age of eight years!" I started to argue.

Much of this can be replaced with a simple paragraph stating you persisted in asking for one although your mother's word was final etc etc. A massive wall of dialogue isn't very appealing. Also, thoughts don't need quotation marks like regular speech.

I forget to say; new speakers only need a new line, not an entirely new paragraph.

Like so: (Click to View)

The ground was covered in a sheet of sparkling dew. "Mum," I called, "can I go outside and play with my trucks?"
"Certainly, dear" she replied.

Notice how there isn't a gap in between the two sentences, only a new line directly underneath the previous.

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Although I am inactive, check out my YouTube account for existing Skyrim tutorials.
Skyrim Guides:

• One-Handed And Dual Wielding Guide
  
• ETA Next Guide: 8/9/12

Thanks for those guidelines, Mushy.
I'll do it in the next chapter and possibly edit out the first one too!

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Team IB Revolutions

Thanks to N0body for the avatar and Synth for the signature!

I forget to say; new speakers only need a new line, not an entirely new paragraph.

I believe that they actually do need a new paragraph. *yawn* I'll C+C tomorrow...

i want to hear more

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