World Beyblade Organization by Fighting Spirits Inc. Off-Topic Forums Your Creations

Said is Dead, I is Ny

Oct. 28, 2011  12:36 PM
 
Just a quick explanation on why said and I should not be used.

I:

I often means you are referring to yourself or the character is telling the story. Nearly 90% of the time, a character will sound more interesting than 'I'.
Which one of these sound more interesting?

As Jane entered the room, she heard the floorboards creak and and she saw two black mice scurrying across the room.

Or

As I entered the room, I heard the floorboards creak and saw two black mice mice scurrying across the room.

Using too many 'I's or '(Name)'s will make it sound really repetitive. Only if separated by a comma, should a name or an 'I' be repeated.
I makes the story a recount. Most people prefer a narrative.


Said:

Said is a boring word. There is so many other words that mean nearly the same thing, but make it more interesting. For example:
Which is more interesting?

"Can you down here please?" Said Mum.

Or

"Can you come down here please?" Shouted Mum.

As you can see, shouted was a better verb to describe how she said it. But I seem to find that 'said' is fine when used with an adverb such as:
Softly
Quickly
Abruptly
Nonchalantly

I hope you enjoyed this!

Oct. 28, 2011  12:44 PM
 
You really shouldn't try to say third person is better than first person. Ever. They are two completely different ways of portraying a story. It's up to the writer to determine which is best.
Oct. 28, 2011  12:45 PM
 
I was trying to say that usually that Third Person is often more interesting and it helps to get readers interested. I'm stating my opinion. I know many other people have different opinions. You have yours, and I have mine.
Oct. 28, 2011  7:47 PM
 
(Oct. 28, 2011  12:36 PM)Aura Wrote: As I entered the room, I heard the floorboards creak and I saw two black mice mice scurrying across the room.[/i]

One thing wrong with this is that you used "I" twice. Except when split by a comma, you should only identify the object once in a sentence.

"If I saw her again, it would be clear I was a goner"-Subject separated by comma, so can be used twice.

"When I saw her and I realized I was doomed I scurried away"-No comma, which makes it really repetitive.

Maybe mention that?
Oct. 28, 2011  8:52 PM
 
(Oct. 28, 2011  12:45 PM)Aura Wrote: I was trying to say that usually that Third Person is often more interesting and it helps to get readers interested. I'm stating my opinion.

It isn't an opinion if you state itas fact. You said that third-person gets readers more interested, but you are only one person, meaning that most or all readers agree. If it involves other people's opinions, it becomes an unverified fact. Also, unless you have statistics to back them up, generalizations are rarely a good thing...

It is a fact that first-person provides more understanding of the character's thoughts, feelings, and actions. And, as to "said", unless you feel that a different word is needed, you should stick to said. Would you want everything to look like this:

"Let's go," the man demanded.

"Why should I go with you?" asked the girl.

The man started to reply, but then abruptly stopped. "Don't move a muscle," the man whispered.
"Why?" the girl asked, though she was a little too loud.

Before she could even scream, a long, deadly sharp claw was at her throat.

I find this thread extremely opinionated, generalized, and somewhat stupid. There are little-to-no facts contained in here, and I'm not sure if it needed its own thread.

Sorry for double posting; PS3's being a carp.
Oct. 28, 2011  10:59 PM
 
I personally find first person more interesting; it connects you and makes you relate to the character more. But, I agree with Deikailo; it is based on opinion, not fact.