Ryuga's New Rival [story, Chapter 11 is up]

Poll: Do you like it?

Yes, It's Awesome! Make more!
22.22%
2
No, it stinks! Get rid of it
22.22%
2
It's okay. Could've been much better, but it's pretty good.
55.56%
5
Total: 100% 9 vote(s)
Chapter 1 (Click to View)
Chapter 2 (Click to View)
Chapter 3 (Click to View)
Chapter 4 (Click to View)
Chapter 5 (Click to View)
Chapter 6 (Click to View)
Chapter 7 (Click to View)
Chapter 8 (Click to View)
Chapter 9 (Click to View)
Chapter 10 (Click to View)
Chapter 11 (Click to View)
More Chapters coming soon!
Put spoilers in, and focus more on and make the battles longer.
I don't know how to make spoilers in. Could you tell me? And thanks, i'll work on the battles.
Thanks, guys, i'll do it now. For now, though, how is my story?
There. I added spoilers.
Maybe you should put more sensory details about the sorrundings and as I said earlier make the battles longer with more details about what they're thinking, but it's good KIU.
Thank you, beybladeforever for all your help. I'll work on what you're telling me. This is my first story, though.
May someone Please read my story? I haven't gotten a view in, like, 3 days.
awsome story
keep up the good work
Its doing OK, you should describe the characters a bit more, and be more descriptive in general. Either way, I doubt I could do much better...
Thanks for you guys' input. I'll get some more character description in there... somewhere...
This is pretty good, Blue Blur. (May I call you Blue Blur?) I suggest you lengthen the details, use character description, develop your characters, and use... drama in your story. A tale full of Special Moves is no good if there isn't a real point to it. Feel free to use the various forms of drama: tragedy, angst, romance, rage, etc. That is all.

Keep up the good writing! Wink
Thank you duck Smile. Yes, you may call me blue blur. I kinda like that. I'm developing the story very slowly, so I'm trying to add the detail slowly. I do try to add more than a chapter a day, but that's not always possible.
I'm gonna work on posting some other stories, but slower than all at once, to keep you in suspense. Hey, but look, this story had a pretty good run!