World Beyblade Organization by Fighting Spirits Inc.
Ryuga's New Rival [story, Chapter 11 is up] - Printable Version

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+--- Thread: Ryuga's New Rival [story, Chapter 11 is up] (/Thread-Ryuga-s-New-Rival-story-Chapter-11-is-up)



Ryuga's New Rival [story, Chapter 11 is up] - SilverChronos - Oct. 06, 2012

Chapter 1 (Click to View)
Chapter 2 (Click to View)
Chapter 3 (Click to View)
Chapter 4 (Click to View)
Chapter 5 (Click to View)
Chapter 6 (Click to View)
Chapter 7 (Click to View)
Chapter 8 (Click to View)
Chapter 9 (Click to View)
Chapter 10 (Click to View)
Chapter 11 (Click to View)
More Chapters coming soon!


RE: Metal Clash Legend [story chapters 1and2] - beybladefoever - Oct. 06, 2012

Put spoilers in, and focus more on and make the battles longer.


RE: Metal Clash Legend [story chapters 1and2] - SilverChronos - Oct. 06, 2012

I don't know how to make spoilers in. Could you tell me? And thanks, i'll work on the battles.


RE: Metal Clash Legend [story chapters 1and2] - sarabscientist - Oct. 06, 2012

http://worldbeyblade.org/Thread-MyCode-Guide


RE: Metal Clash Legend [story chapters 1and2] - SilverChronos - Oct. 06, 2012

Thanks, guys, i'll do it now. For now, though, how is my story?
There. I added spoilers.


RE: Metal Clash Legend [story chapters 1and2] - beybladefoever - Oct. 06, 2012

Maybe you should put more sensory details about the sorrundings and as I said earlier make the battles longer with more details about what they're thinking, but it's good KIU.


RE: Metal Clash Legend [story chapters 1and2] - SilverChronos - Oct. 06, 2012

Thank you, beybladeforever for all your help. I'll work on what you're telling me. This is my first story, though.


RE: Ryuga's New Rival [story, Chapter 7 is up] - SilverChronos - Oct. 08, 2012

May someone Please read my story? I haven't gotten a view in, like, 3 days.


RE: Ryuga's New Rival [story, Chapter 7 is up] - UltimateOrion - Oct. 08, 2012

awsome story
keep up the good work



RE: Ryuga's New Rival [story, Chapter 7 is up] - Driger Kai - Oct. 09, 2012

Its doing OK, you should describe the characters a bit more, and be more descriptive in general. Either way, I doubt I could do much better...


RE: Ryuga's New Rival [story, Chapter 7 is up] - SilverChronos - Oct. 09, 2012

Thanks for you guys' input. I'll get some more character description in there... somewhere...


RE: Ryuga's New Rival [story, Chapter 9 is up] - Duck - Oct. 10, 2012

This is pretty good, Blue Blur. (May I call you Blue Blur?) I suggest you lengthen the details, use character description, develop your characters, and use... drama in your story. A tale full of Special Moves is no good if there isn't a real point to it. Feel free to use the various forms of drama: tragedy, angst, romance, rage, etc. That is all.

Keep up the good writing! Wink


RE: Ryuga's New Rival [story, Chapter 9 is up] - SilverChronos - Oct. 11, 2012

Thank you duck Smile. Yes, you may call me blue blur. I kinda like that. I'm developing the story very slowly, so I'm trying to add the detail slowly. I do try to add more than a chapter a day, but that's not always possible.


RE: Ryuga's New Rival [story, Chapter 11 is up] - SilverChronos - Oct. 12, 2012

I'm gonna work on posting some other stories, but slower than all at once, to keep you in suspense. Hey, but look, this story had a pretty good run!