Rising of Galaxy Beys

Chapter 1:


Can-Dai was tired. He had spent the whole night watching beyblade tournaments. He got up, when into the bathroom and took a shower. He felt much refreshed. Can-Dai got dressed in his always as usual clothing. Blue Sweater with a demon on it, blue baggy jeans, blue gloves and blue sneakers. He also took his bey holder with his Aqua Diablo CS160TF already in it and his blue bey gripper and blue string launcher. Can-Dai jogged to his door and went out into the open. The bey-park was about 5 blocks away. As you walked or jogged or ran to get there you passed plenty of trees,ponds, and houses. Can-Dai's favorite part was the Bey Shop. The "Bey Shop" also withheld the girl he liked, Alyssa. She had Red hair with orange highlights. She always had a shirt that was cut short and showed her belly button. She always wore green baggy pants with plenty of pockets. She was a master at fixing beys. As Can-Dai walked by he waved and smiled. Alyssa smiled and waved a hearty wave. With a surge of strength Can-Dai ran to the bey-park.
"Hey, Raven whats up." Can-Dai said happily.
"Hey,Candy, nothing much just beyblading people not on my level." Raven said laughing.
"So whats knew Candy."
"Why do you call me Candy." Can-Dai asked.
"Your name sounds like Candy." Raven said sourly.
"Tousche." Can-Dai said giving Raven the "Eye"
Raven shrugged and he walked into a group of people that were battling and watched. Can-Dai walked to a boy and said
"Would you like to battle?" Can-Dai asked.
"Sure!" The boy said loudly.
They both walked to an open bey stadium. They readied their beys and yelled the chant "3...2...1... GOOOOOOOOO SHOOOT!" They yelled confidently. The boys beys crashed wildly. Metal To Metal, Mono to Mono. The beys curved and charged. Finally Can-Dai said
"LETS FINSH THIS." His Aqua Diablo charged forward at an increased velocity (Spin Rate) and whip lashed the bey out of the stadium.
"Man your strong!" The boy said and he picked up his bey and went into a group of other boys and girls. Can-Dai smirked and walked over to see what Raven was doing. There, standing 4 boys and Raven all glaring at each other launched there beys. Ravens Sky Falcon ST120OT destroyed every others boy blades. they were shot out of the stadium and crashed into the cement.
"Nice job picking on amateurs" Can-Dai said.
"Fine then battle me" Raven said somewhat annoyed.
They found a bey stadium rather easy because everyone wanted to see them clash it out.
"3...2...1... GO SHOOT!" They both yelled and they beys were shot in with great speed and accuracy. Every time the beys clashed into each other the ground shook and the trees shook vigourisly.
"YOU GOT THIS SKY FALCON!!!!" Raven yelled. His voice surged over his bey and it charged into Aqua Diablo knocking its balance off. It front flipped over to the left side of the stadium and charged at Sky Falcon.
"GO GO GO!!! WATER LASH" Can-Dai said. This was a minor special move that he used to weaken opponents. Can-Dai's bey crashed into Raven's bey and Sky Falcon suddenly slowed down a little. The crowd gasped.
"SPECIAL MOVE!!!! SKY CLAW LUSTER!" Raven yelled. His bey jumped into the air. It began to fall down, faster,faster, and faster. It went so fast that the air began to split and become red.
"NOT YET! SPECIAL MOVE NECRO WATERFALL!!!" Can-Dai yelled. Can-Dai's bey was engulfed by a Dark Water-like orb and moved at high speeds. In a few seconds the beys crashed. The Tree's leaves were blown off and the cement began to crack. Smoke,Dust, and Cement Grits began to fill the air. Everyone coughing and shielding there eyes looked up to see what the heck had just happened. And the winner was..


(TO BE CONTIUNED)
Please give a rating then on teh poll and character ideas?

Name
Bey
Char Descprition
Special Move
Bad/good
Gender
Other
A Reply maybe? Yes no im not sure if i should go on lol
Wow! It has a few grammatical errors, but the story is actually of good length and the characters have real personalites! Keep up the great writing! Here's my character request:

Syinara Darussakin

Spiral Libra WA145 ES

Twirling Serenade, Spiraling Melody Mirage Attack

She has long blonde hair, blue eyes, puffy cheeks, freckles, and fairy wings. She wears a long white dress and blue ballet slippers. She is kind, caring, shy, naive, somewhat stupid, but not clumsy. She adores singing, dancing, and is scared of all boys.

She is good.

She is a female.
Name- Zan Tarou (MALE)

Beyblade- Death Quetzalcoatl TH170 RDF

Special Move- Ascent Spark (Quetzalcoat erupts out of face bolt and circles around the enemies' bey also spitting golden fire.)

Description- Red jacket with black pants and hair. Very nice but also serious. Cares about his friends a lot.


EVIL CHARACTER REQUEST-

Jin Zheng

Hell Nemesis

Hades Destruction

Wears a long cloak and has red spiky hair with yellow highlights. Likes destroying beys and laughs evilly.
Haha thanks guys ill try to post them in sometime. Grin thanks for the compliments and such
Chapter 2:


The smoke took a rather long time to clear. Tension in the air was highly thick. As soon as the smoke rose Ravens bey was still spinning. Can-Dai's bey was engraved into the ground and out for the count.
"I lost? Dang it!" Can-Dai said sadly.
"Cheer up it was a great battle." Raven said patting Can-Dai on the back.
Can-Dai stared at Raven and nodded his approval. Dusting of his Sweater and Pants Can-Dai walked back to Raven's home with Raven.
"Look!" Raven shouted pointing at a poster.
The poster read "Bey Tournament starting June 5th, must have atleast 4 members."
"Wanna do it Raven?" Can-Dai asked.
"If we can get two more members totally." Raven said happily.
"Lets do it!"



The next day the boys went back to the bey park and started a recruit session. Raven was already getting plenty of challenges. Can-Dai was getting only a few. The deal was if you beat Raven or Can-Dai you could join into the Team of OnSlaught. After about 5 minutes of thinking a boy put his fist in front of Can-Dai.
"Helloooo!" The boy yelled in his face.
Can-Dai awoke from his daydream and said "Oh, uh sorry name and bey please"
"Zan, Death Quetzacaotl TH170 RDF" Zan said confidently.
" Proceed to the bey stadium" Can-Dai said.
The boys set up there beys and got prepared for a battle Can-Dai never knew would be so tough.
"3...2...1... GOOOOO SHOOT!" They both yelled launching the beys with great speed into the stadium. The beys were grinding against each other. The battle was slowly becoming intense as each boys were sizing each other up.
"GO!" Zan yelled. His bey charged with intense speed on a head course to Can-Dai's Aqua Diablo. As it was about to hit Aqua Diablo it disappeared. Can-Dai looked astonished. Zan pointed a finger in the air and Can-Dai looked up.
"OH MY GOD!" Can-Dai yelled. "NECRO WATERFALL!!!" Can-Dai yelled. His bey began to spin at intense speed. Wind was picking up around them. The trees were shaking and Zan's Red,Spiky hair was blowing in the wind. His yellow highlights blinding Can-Dai's eyesight because of its reflection. His black coat and pants were always flopping around a bit.
"END IT,ASCENT SPARK!" Zan yelled. His bey erupted a Quetzalcoatl that looked savage. As it rocketed towards his Aqua Diablo it shot up golden flames disrupting Aqua Diablo's balance. Zan's bey gained speed as it came forth. When it finally struck Aqua Diablo The Bey Park was filled with a golden light. One tree even snapped out of its place. The ground was breaking and crumbling making small pot holes. As the golden light stopped. Both boys beys were still spinning but they both crumpled down making them look exhausted.
Breathing Heavily Can-Dai said "Man what a battle! your in." Zan smiled at this and they both did a high five. They picked up there beys and walked away from each other. When Can-Dai went back to the recruit station his jaws dropped open as to see who wanted to join in the team.
Nice, nice.


Name: Minami Oni

Bey: Flash Unicorno 85R2F

Desc: Brown Eyes, long brown hair, and sailor scout uniform (lolololol)
She is sneaky and innocent

Move(s): ultimate Flash

Gender: female

Good guy

(May. 22, 2012  10:53 PM)Shirayuki Wrote: Nice, nice.


Name: Minami Oni

Bey: Flash Unicorno 85R2F

Desc: Brown Eyes, long brown hair, and sailor scout uniform (lolololol)
She is sneaky and innocent

Move(s): ultimate Flash

Gender: female

Good guy
May I ask what Ultimate Flash does or should i use my own way of using it.
Use your own way.
okay another chapter should be up tomorrow at around 7:30 to 11:00 so be looking for it
(May. 24, 2012  3:36 AM)Tortiilz Wrote: okay another chapter should be up tomorrow at around 7:30 to 11:00 so be looking for it

I will definetely be looking for it! Joyful_2
A character request.

Name:Akune Okita
Bey: MF Twisted Kerbecs 230WB
Char Descprition:A white Tee with his name on the front signed by other people.Blue Jeans.Blue Wristband if he sweats.Black High tops Converse.Slanted Red Belt with a skull in the front. Light blue eyes, black hair, and tan.
Special Move: Unleash Hell! and Devouring Darkness! ( Use them in any way you want to, you are the AUTHOR!)
Bad/good: Was bad and then turned good.
Gender: Guy

EDIT: Nice title and Good Luck with your story!
Chapter 3:
Can-Dai tried to stop from showing nervousness. It was Alyssa who wanted to join.
"Oh hey Alyssa, Bey please." Can-Dai said as firm as he could. She laughed and then she smiled at him.
"I'm here as a bey tech not a battler, MY friend here is trying to become a battler." Alyssa said happily.
Alyssa's friend had long blonde hair, blue eyes, freckles, puffy cheeks. She wore a long white dress and she also had blue ballet slippers.
"Her name is Syinara." Alyssa said quietly."She dosen't like boys." She added. When Can-Dai looked up Syinara was looking at him with terror and fear.
"Bey and name please." Can-Dai said simling at Syinara.
"S-s-syinara and, um, S-s-s-spiral Libra WA145 ES."
Can-Dai nodded his head over to a beystadium. Both of them readied there beys and got in their stances.
"3...2...1... GOOOOO SHOOOOT!." Can-Dai yelled. The girl said nothing but ripped her bey super hard but fell over clusmily. The beys crashed.
"This battles pretty intense actually." Can-Dai thought. The beys were ramming each other desperately trying to win.
"GO AQUA DIABLO!" Can-Dai yelled. His bey surged foward. Splitting the air, giving everyone a head ache.
"SPECIAL MOVE!!! NECRO WATERFALL!" Can-Dai yelled. His bey crashed into Spiral Libra. It was knocked off balance and almost,ALMOST, landed out of the area.
"Twirling Serenade." She said with a firm voice. Her bey began to jumping around and furious attacks arrived to Aqua Diablo.
"NO!" Can-Dai yelled. As his bey was getting pounded. He heard it. His bey just said "You can do it!" Covered by sheer thought. He understood.
"SPECIAL MOVE.... GALAXY NECRO WATERFALL!" Can-Dai yelled with new strength. His bey Jumped toward the sky. Higher then its ever gone before. It fell back with intense speed. Diablo erupted from its facebolt. The demon was this bulky, huge, well demon. with sharp claws and drool everywhere. As Aqua Diablo shot down. It looked like a watery star. Just before impact it sounded like a super nova and it felt like a super nova!
Nice chapter! Are you accepting my character request too?
Yes I am i just actually take time to know how to put them in and the best way to lol.
Chapter 4:
It seemed as if the world itself froze. Can-Dai and probably everyone else there has never seen that type of move. It was only a legend, Supposedly whenever a Galaxy move such as "Galaxy Necro Waterfall" that person was to be joined by five other people on a journey to help save the world or something. Can-Dai himself didn't even know he had that in him. He was on his knees trembling by the power that rocked the stadium. There was to much Dust or smoke to see. He heard a small spinning noise. He instantly knew it was his.
"Blow away the smoke Aqua Diablo!" Can-Dai yelled his command. The smoke and dust was blown away and there was his bey spinning. Spiral Libra was just lying in is little cave. Apparently the force smashed it down a good 6 inches. When Can-Dai picked up his bey he noticed it had a whole new wheel. Scratching his head he gave a big
"What the heck?" He was totally confused. It looked like. A flat edge that had little ripples on it. Then he heard it again. That same little weird demonic voice.
"Blood edge."
Can-Dai looked wide-eyed at his bey. He held it up and said
"Blood edge Diablo CS160TF!" He shouted with joy. Everyone clapped for him.
"Not bad kid!" Someone yelled out from the crowd that was surrounding Can-Dai. "I totally could do better then you chump." The boy said walking up from the crowd.
"Yeah he's right!" Another boy said, Walking with the other rude boy.
"The names Akune." He said giving a rather evil glare at Can-Dai.
"And I'm Jin." Jin said excitedly.
"As I said I could definetly do better then you." Akune said mockingly. Can-Dai glared at him and raised up his Bey and Launcher.
"I don't think you can beat me and my Blood Edge Diablo CS160TF." Can-Dai said.
"MF Twisted Kerbecs 230WB is mine, and it will destroy yours." Akune said.
"Me and Hell Nemisis next!" Jin said.



Akune and Can-Dai got up to another stadium that wasn't destroyed by pure Galaxy Awesomeness.
"3...2....1.... GOOOOOOO SHOOOOOOOT!" Akune and Can-Dai yelled. Their beys launched in and crashed. Both of the beys pulsing with power send back furious pieces of grit and dust. They beys smashed and rocketed toward each other.
"See what I mean kid, you just ain't got the stuff." Akune said, His white tee, jeans, and black hair were blowing in the wind. He also had a Red belt slanted with a skull on it, a good tan too.
"I think not!" Can-Dai said. "GO!" Can-Dai yelled. His bey super charged toward Twisted Kerbecs. It knocked Hell Kerbecs back to the edge.
"FINSH! UNLEASH HELL! AND DEVOURING DARKNESS!!!!" Akune yelled. Akune's bey released a dark force field. And fire balls began to burst out. Hitting the arena and singed it, leaving an angry black mark.
"Dodge Blood Edge Diablo!" Can-Dai said. "What should I do!" Can-Dai thought. The voice came again, its starting to come again frequently.
"Blood Demon Revolver!" It said. "Will it work?" Can-Dai thought back to the voice. "Haha, Certainly will!" It said.
"ALRIGHT LETS FINISH THIS BATTLE!" Can-Dai yelled. "BLOOD DEMON REVOLVER!!!" He shouted. His bey increased in speed totally messing up Hell Kerbecs special. His force field retracted and his bey stopped erupting flames. Blood Edge Diablo formed a blood red orb around it. Then the orb shot out making six mini orbs in the air. They all shot down at once. Each one that hit threw out a blood red smoke. When the smoke cleared Hell Kerbecs was smashed into the ground. And the orbs that had done their magic returned to Blood Edge Diablo.
"DANG IT!" Akune said kicking the air. "NOT COOL DUDE NOT COOL!" Akune yelled again pointing at Can-Dai.
"MY TURN MY TURN!" Jin yelled. he walked up to launch his bey but Akune put his hand out.
"No, not today. you need to get stronger." Akune said. Jin drooped his head His Long coat dragged on the ground and his Red spiky hair with yellow highlights fell down.
"I'll destroy your bey Can-Dai! Jin said laughing, very evilly. Can-Dai looked up actually pretty wearily. He walked up, grabbed his bey and once he walked about 10 feet, He fell over.
Thanks for introducing my character, Akune, a lot! But put your chapters in the OP(opening post) with spoilers.
You do this without the spaces though. [ spoiler ] -Enter Text Here- [ /spoiler] It should look like this.

Great chapter, can't wait to see what Jin is going to do !!!!!!!!!!!!
I have a character request!!!
Name: Hero Takushima
Bey: Earth Susanoo 145WB
Special Move: Gaia Hammer; Susanoo spins at a very fast speed. Creating an air current which causes the stadium to crack up sending sharp rock shards at the opposing buy (Slashing up/Destroying the opposing bey).
Description: Hero is an arrogant, powerful and confident blader with jet black hair spiked up in the front with blaze orange highlights. Hero wears a White Tuxedo with a black neck tie.
Gender: Boy
Hero is an antagonist.
(May. 30, 2012  1:18 AM)[LUCKY]Eight Wrote: I have a character request!!!
Name: Hero Takushima
Bey: Earth Susanoo 145WB
Special Move: Gaia Hammer; Susanoo spins at a very fast speed. Creating an air current which causes the stadium to crack up sending sharp rock shards at the opposing buy (Slashing up/Destroying the opposing bey).
Description: Hero is an arrogant, powerful and confident blader with jet black hair spiked up in the front with blaze orange highlights. Hero wears a White Tuxedo with a black neck tie.
Gender: Boy
Hero is an antagonist.

Okay cool. Whats with the tux though. Classy but cool. lol hah Smile
(May. 30, 2012  7:34 PM)Tortiilz Wrote:
(May. 30, 2012  1:18 AM)[LUCKY]Eight Wrote: I have a character request!!!
Name: Hero Takushima
Bey: Earth Susanoo 145WB
Special Move: Gaia Hammer; Susanoo spins at a very fast speed. Creating an air current which causes the stadium to crack up sending sharp rock shards at the opposing buy (Slashing up/Destroying the opposing bey).
Description: Hero is an arrogant, powerful and confident blader with jet black hair spiked up in the front with blaze orange highlights. Hero wears a White Tuxedo with a black neck tie.
Gender: Boy
Hero is an antagonist.

Okay cool. Whats with the tux though. Classy but cool. lol hah Smile
He's like a rich kid and stuff.
(May. 30, 2012  10:00 PM)[LUCKY]Eight Wrote:
(May. 30, 2012  7:34 PM)Tortiilz Wrote:
(May. 30, 2012  1:18 AM)[LUCKY]Eight Wrote: I have a character request!!!
Name: Hero Takushima
Bey: Earth Susanoo 145WB
Special Move: Gaia Hammer; Susanoo spins at a very fast speed. Creating an air current which causes the stadium to crack up sending sharp rock shards at the opposing buy (Slashing up/Destroying the opposing bey).
Description: Hero is an arrogant, powerful and confident blader with jet black hair spiked up in the front with blaze orange highlights. Hero wears a White Tuxedo with a black neck tie.
Gender: Boy
Hero is an antagonist.

Okay cool. Whats with the tux though. Classy but cool. lol hah Smile
He's like a rich kid and stuff.

Like Julian Konzern! I really like Julian! LOL

Anyway, great story! The characters have actual personality, the chapters are fairly lengthed, and the plot is interesting and exciting! You portrayed Syinaka just the way I imagined her! Thank you so much, and keep up the wonderful writing! Joyful_2
lol thanks fakir. I'm trying to post up whenever i can. Between swim team and school and boyscouts. its some times hard to actually get some typing in. lol Tongue_out
@ LuckyEight. alright cool Smile