This is just a small fan fic I've been working on of one of my favorite TCG, Cartoon and Video Game. It will probably have some grammatical errors (as that is what i struggle with the most nowadays) but i think it could be enjoyable for fans of the Pokemon series. The other thing is my new gamertag is Minho, which happens to be my WBO name... and character name. Hope you enjoy.

Pokemon: Episode 1

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Pokémon

Episode One

PROLOGUE

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A dark, hooded figure ran through the dark streets of Viridian City. It breathed heavily carrying its fainted Pokémon across the lonely roads of the city. When it reached the Pokémon Center it was clear it was human. Its voice was deep. It wore a large helmet and was presumed to be a boy. Sure, he’s a boy, let’s say that. He handed his Pokémon over to the lady. It was at that moment that the boy was approached by three figures wearing black coats. They had peculiar hair in all different styles. They closed in on the boy with their crooked little smiles. They seized him and took his Pokémon. They left him there, on the Center floor, while everyone stared in disbelief. As he collapsed onto the floor; only one sound was audible from this dumbstruck boy. The sound of his tears hitting the cold hard floor.

Chapter One: Pallet Town

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“Minho?” A voice called. “We’re here now!”
I walked out of the moving van.
“Sorry you had to ride in the van, Minho.” Mum said “But we are here now!”
I smiled. “That’s okay mum.”
I walked into my house. There was Machop moving all the furniture around and fixing toilets. We moved here to meet my Pen Pal and my Uncle, The Pokémon Professor of Kanto! We came over from the Johto region because my dad wanted to challenge new gyms. Gyms have something to do with things called Pokémon. Pokémon look cool and they’re cool creatures which have incredible powers. I wish I had one.
“Mum,” I asked “where are we?”
“Pallet Town, dear” she responded
Pallet Town. Shades of your journey await. It says that on a sign near my house.
Suddenly, my mum called “Minho, go find Professor Oak, he has a surprise for you.”
I shrugged. Worth going, I guess. I walked over to the Oak Research Lab. This was it. I walked in and saw heaps of scientists, then finally, my uncle. The Pokémon Professor.
“Minho!”
I looked at Oak.
“Uncle!”
We embraced and he started talking to me about his life and past adventures. Just then, a boy ran in.
“GRAMPS!”
It was him. I gasped in disbelief. It was my pen pal. It was Mason. It was… my cousin?

Chapter Two: I Choose You!

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“GRAMPS!” Mason called.
I looked at him, Gobsmacked.
“I’m tired of waiting! When are you going to give me my Pokémon? I'm ten years old!” He groaned.
Mason glanced at me. “Minho?”
“Yeah…” I replied
“What are you doing here?” he asked.
“I'm here to see my uncle, who is also your… grandpa…” I answered, confused.
“Wait, we’re related?” He asked
I nodded.
“Well, anyway you two, I was going to give you some work to do…” Oak started.
Mason groaned, “Gramps, why?”
“Trust me,” he grinned “you are going to want to do this…”
I listened. He went on about his research on Pokémon and how his discoveries were anything but finished. He said that we still don’t know a lot about Pokémon and then gestured to a table. Two Pokéballs lay on the table.
“I want you two to further my research, take as long as you like, you may still enjoy your adventure with your Pokémon while learning more about the Pokémon Universe.” Oak said.
Mason and I grinned at each other. This was way cool.
“Here” Oak said “Use these Pokémon to catch your first ones.”
He handed me a Pidgeotto and gave Mason a Geodude.
“Be careful in tall grass and make sure to return the Pokémon. To catch a Pokémon lower its HP then throw a Pokéball at it.”
Mason and I nodded then walked outside.
“See ya later, cuz” Mason winked
Then he ran off screaming ‘IM GONNA BE THE BEST POKEMON TRAINER ON EARTH!’ I smiled and walked off into the grass. I found a lot of Pokémon but not one I really liked. Then all of a sudden I had an encountered. A wild Charmander appeared! I Choose You Charmander!
“Come on Pidgeotto!” I yelled
The Charmander looked scared but somehow managed to maintain a straight face.
“Pidgeotto, USE WING ATTACK!” I shouted
Charmander took damage and was close to fainting, he seemed very sad.
“It’s okay, I won’t hurt you…” I whispered “Pidgeotto, come back!”
I grabbed my one Pokéball and concentrated.
“Go!” I whispered
The Pokéball left my fingertips and flew into the air. The red and white markings barely visible as it spun in the air, it bounced of the hard ground and zapped the Pokémon inside it. Charmander barely fought it and the Pokéball closed and locked.
“Yeah!” I yelled, triumphantly.
I was on my way back to the Lab when I saw Mason walking towards me.
“Hey, maso-“ I began.
“No time.” He said “Let’s battle. I want to see if my Pokémon is strong!”
I nodded reluctantly
“None of Oaks Pokémon though…” I pleaded
Mason nodded “fine. Let’s Battle!”

Chapter Three: The Pokédex

Spoiler (Click to View)

“I hope you know that even though we’re cousins I'm still going to be the best Pokémon Trainer in the world…” Mason bragged
I smirked “sure, let’s do this.”
“CHARMANDER! I CHOOSE YOU!” I yelled.
“COME ON! SQUIRTLE!” Mason shouted
I gasped. That was a water-type Pokémon.
“Panicking?” Mason grinned “My Squirtle is a water type which should easily take out your Charmander…”
I thought for a while, but I remembered one key thing, since our Pokémon are only around Level 5 he shouldn’t have any water type moves…
“Sure. Charmander use TACKLE!”
Charmander ran at Mason’s Squirtle and rammed it at full speed. Squirtle was pushed back and had a cut across its back. It was badly bruised.
“Squirtle, No!” Mason cried “grrrr. Squirtle use POUND!”
“CHARMANDER!” I yelled.
Squirtle hid in its shell and spun towards Charmander crashing into it. It didn’t really phase Charmander but he was very close to fainting.
“Charmander use TACKLE!”
Mason blurted out “Squirtle, GROWL!”
Charmander got a bit scared but still managed to hit Squirtle. Squirtle closed his eyes and collapsed onto the ground.
“Sssqquiiirttleeeeee…”
I grinned “So…”
Mason glared at me “whatever, let’s get back to the Lab.”
We walked through Route 1 and back to Pallet Town. We then walked back into the Lab. My Charmander looked stronger but was tired from the battle. Mason’s Pokémon was wasted and would not wake up.
“Gramps,” Mason called “Minho killed my Pokémon”
I panicked; I didn’t know I killed Squirtle.
“Oh my God,” I stuttered “I’m sorry…”
Professor Oak laughed “he’s not dead he has merely fainted”
Mason and I breathed a sigh of relief.
“”okay, glad we got that settled, why does my Pokémon look stronger” I asked
Oak replied “Simple. He leveled up.”
I grinned “I owned Mason earlier so is that why my Pokémon leveled up and his fainted?”
“Precisely,” Oak smiled “wow, you only just got that Pokémon and already it’s created a strong bond with you.”
I smiled. Me and my Charmander on adventures to distant lands. It seemed too good to be true. There had to be a catch.
“There’s a job for you two, remember?” Oak started “The research.”
Cue catch, and cue groan from Mason.
“Gramps…” Mason moaned.
Oak ignored Mason and began “I have recently obtained a series of new technology. It’s called the Pokédex. This is version 10.4. It’s set on Kanto but soon I can make it national. It automatically makes a note on every Pokémon you ever see or catch!”
“Cool!” I grinned
“Yer, uh, cool” Mason muttered
Oak death-stared him.
“Ha-ha, I mean COOL!” Mason said, nervously
“Anyway,” Oak continued “You can carry a party of 6 Pokémon which will be kept in the Pokédex records and then any others you catch will be sent to a Box in your PC.”
I considered this. I was finally 10 years old and this was just the adventure I needed!
“I'm in.” I said
“Wait so I can carry 6 Pokémon?” Mason asked “I'm in, gramps!”
Oak laughed “okay, here are your Pokédex’s”
Oak handed Mason and I a Pokédex each.
“Now before you go, Minho, you should tell your mum. You too Mason.” Oak said
Mason bolted out the door “Sure, gramps!”
Oak smiled at me “Go get ‘em, Minho!”
I smiled back. This was going to be cool.

Chapter Four: Young Love

Spoiler (Click to View)

I walked out with my Pokémon. This was crazy. I had my own little Pokéball and in it I had a small Pokémon. It’s like a dream come true. I walked up from the Lab to my house and waved at my mum.
‘Hi Mum. Look what I’ve got!” I grinned, lifting my Pokéball up in plain sight.
My mum glanced at me and then suddenly stared, “Wow! Minho, you have a Pokémon? We’ve lived here an hour and already you have a Pokémon!” She said
I shined “Yeah, and Uncle gave me this thing called a Pokédex and he wants me to go all around the Kanto region undertaking his research!”
“Oh,” She began “Well, all kids leave home one day. Even if you are only ten years old” she said
“Don’t stress it mum, I’ll get my Pokégear and you can call me whenever.” I said
My mum thought about this for a while. “Okay, but make sure you’re safe.”
I smiled. I went upstairs and grabbed my bag and my Pokégear and registered my mum’s number in it. I walked downstairs and my mum had these new high-top red and black shoes. They were the new PokéWalks I wanted.
“These shoes should make it easier to run around with.” She said
“Thanks mum,” I said
We embraced and she kissed me on the forehead
“Minho, have fun. Love your Pokémon,” she said
“I will mum,” I said
I walked out the door and started my adventure as a Pokémon Trainer.
“MINHO!” A voice called
It was Oak
“Minho, wait. You can’t battle anyone until you register for a Trainer Card. You’re not even allowed to catch Pokémon. Make sure you don’t battle and get that trainer card!”
I nodded then started to run to Viridian City
“Minho!” Another voice called.
A girl about my age ran up to me.
“Hey, who are you? How do you know me?” I asked
She smiled “Hi, I'm April! I'm Mason’s sister.”
She was pretty cute. She had dark brown hair and brown long hair that was curled at the ends. She wore a short skirt and a denim jacket. She also wore High-Tops but they were PokéNikes.
I blushed “oh, uh, hey.”
“Mason says a lot about you!” She smiled
“Uh, cool.” I said “He never mentioned you” I muttered
I looked at the ground. I didn’t want to be too fond of this girl before I left.
“Are you a Pokémon Trainer?” I asked
“Yeah, I'm getting registered today!” She replied.
I grinned “then we can go together”
She smiled “Sure, it’s a date.”
I blushed, she seemed to know she was doing and she ran into Route 1 to Viridian City with me right behind her.
TO BE CONTINUED…

hey i like to play pokemon too what game do you play the most cause maybe u and i could have a battle over wifi sometime and become friends maybe what do u think

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Hey, nice to hear. I'll PM you on this okay.

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"What is peace, if not an illusion of war?" - Bunnii2165

CLICK THE LINKS IN BLUE!
Team iBlade|The Writers Handbook|Credit to xlr8 & Vintage|Beyblade Shoppe|Renegade Reviews

This story is a bit confusing; you jump from one scene to another a bit too much. Jumping scenes is okay; you don't have to write every single detail but you must remember to jump scenes at the right climax, feeling and atmosphere of the current event happening in the story. Considering it is fan-fiction, it seems mediocre and highly superior to some others in the forum but otherwise, it's quite decent. You, more or less, put more effort into this than most writers here because you actually take time to capitalize but you still have some mistakes here and there. One more thing, you don't need to start a new line every sentence; try starting a new line once you wrote 9 - 15 sentences depending on length.


Characters 6/10 : Like I said, considering that this is fan-fiction, they're quite okay. However, your main character might just be a Mary-Sue; you don't name your characters after your own name or username.

Plot (No Score) : It's a fan-fic; the story is based on a plot that was already founded. However, try not to jump from scenes like I stated above.

Originality (No Score) : Fan-fic. However though, I'd give 5/10 for the character names.

Grammar, punctuation, spelling and spacing 5/10: You have a medium amount of mistakes, most of them being punctuation and spacing.

Overall 6/10: Overall, fix the mistakes, try not to make event cliche, make sure that Minho doesn't turn out as a Mary- Sue, don't jump scenes and the WBO YC Forum finally will have a good fan-fic after a long time. (A very very very very very....you get my point.)

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"You want something to happen? Make it happen."
[Novel] The Andromeda Files : The End Of Eternity

Thanks BP, i'll work on that when I finish Ep 2.

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"What is peace, if not an illusion of war?" - Bunnii2165

CLICK THE LINKS IN BLUE!
Team iBlade|The Writers Handbook|Credit to xlr8 & Vintage|Beyblade Shoppe|Renegade Reviews

Too short but not to point (which makes it too fragile).

Story sucks, lack of description.

Words-jamming. Sticky and stuff, which makes it hard to read.

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Let the wings of hope spread to the whole world!

New story :
http://worldbeyblade.org/Thread-Yoku-s-s...ary-Hereos

okay buddy.
Have a nice life...

WBO and stories arent my priority right now...

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"What is peace, if not an illusion of war?" - Bunnii2165

CLICK THE LINKS IN BLUE!
Team iBlade|The Writers Handbook|Credit to xlr8 & Vintage|Beyblade Shoppe|Renegade Reviews