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My Naruto story: The secret of Disagari Uchiha.

Jan. 19, 2011  3:06 AM
 
I am making a naruto story!
Prologue:
"Yes!" Disigari had perfected her latest form of sharingan!
Disigari, it's time.Come to my office for you're first asighment.'
"OK leader."
Disigari took her bag off her back, took out her akatsuki cloak, and put it on. She unzipped it to her hip, she didn't know why she did it, she just did. She headed on over to the leader's office, thinking how happy she was, finally not just walking around, waiting for this opportunity. Just thinking about it made her laugh, knowing how small of a challenge killing Kisame was! She opened the door, put on a serious face and walked over to Pein's desk.

Chapter1:

"Alright, listen, you are to go to the leaf village, near the entrance and go to the east in the woods, and you will find your partner there, fighting Naruto. you are to come from behind, and knock Naruto out. He will know where to go, and you shall go there, so we can drain the Kyubi's power out of Naruto. You are to depart immediately." Disigari knew where the leaf village was, and ran out. She ran into Tobi.
"Oh, sorry Tobi!"
"It's ok! Where you off to?"
"My first mission!"
"Awesome!, what is it?"
"gonna catch the Kyubi!"
"Cool!!!"
"Gotta go, Byez!"
"Byez! Good Luck!"
Disigari and Tobi were great friends, them both having hyperactive attributes. They could both be serious when provoked, and they both were very good at combat.

Disigari pulled her cloak off her shoulders, reveling her half shirt, with two slits on the back. She unfolded her dragon wings and flew to the spot Pein had told her about, and sure enough, she found someone with an akatsuki cloak fighting Naruto. the sun was setting, and she landed nearby. She snuck behind Naruto, and hit him on the head with a rock. Naruto fell like lead, and she scooped him up.
"Nice." Said her partner
He grabbed Naruto they started running from treetop to treetop.
"Hi, i'm Disigari."
"Now don't tell me you don't recognize you're own brother,Disigari."
Disigari's heart skipped a beat, and her foot dragged, making her start to fall. He grabbed her and she whispered "I-Itachi? Is that really you?"
"Yea."
Disigari wrapped her arms around Itachi tightly as they stopped. Disigari said "I-I missed you so much Itchi!"
"Me too, Disigari."
"We better get going, they're going to find out soon."
"Yea, let's go."
They started to pick up their pace again.

So, What do ya' think, should i continue?! also, Itchi is Disigari's nickname for Itachi, thyw were very close as children.
Jan. 19, 2011  3:08 AM
 
it is good
Jan. 19, 2011  3:10 AM
 
hey dude
there are no more members of the uchiha clan don't make a new one
it's like there are only 2 uchihas left there both boys
think of a clan that has alot of people or make up one
Jan. 19, 2011  3:10 AM
 
Good., or good! ? lol sorry, i just wanna know. ;3;
Jan. 19, 2011  3:10 AM
 
but the story is good
Jan. 19, 2011  3:13 AM
 
(Jan. 19, 2011  3:10 AM)Seth Solus Wrote: hey dude
there are no more members of the uchiha clan don't make a new one
it's like there are only 2 uchihas left there both boys
think of a clan that has alot of people or make up one

Ok, first of all, it's my story, and if i wanna make a new member, i can. and two three untill itachi gets killed, you forgot madara. i'm not mad, i just feel like i should have freedom of writing since it's a fan story.
Jan. 19, 2011  3:42 AM
 
no itachi died only
sasuke
tobi/madara
Jan. 19, 2011  9:23 PM
 
still i don't really care and i said three untill itachi dies
Jan. 23, 2011  4:19 AM
 
Chapter 2

"Naruto!"
"Naruto!"
"Where is that idiot, Sai?"
"I Don't know, Mabie he's getting ramen?"
"He just ate 20 mins. ago, he can't be hungry already!"
"Well, he did eat 5 bowls in 1 min. once."
"Yea, i guess, but still, something's wrong."
Sakura and sai walked around the village, but they couldn't find naruto.They finally decided to see if he whent out of the village, but when they got to the gate....
"Naruto's forehead protector!"
"No! Naruto wouldn't just leave without it like that!"
"Look!"
Sai held up a piece of torn akatsuki robe.
"We need to tell Lady Tsunade!"

*Back to Disigari*
"oh, carp."
"What?"
"My robe must've gotten caught, it's torn." Unhappy
"How bad?"
"Not that bad, just a bit on the bottom."

Back to Sai and Sakura

"M'lady!"
"Yes, Sakura?"
"Naruto's gone, we think it has to do with the akatsuki."
Sakura showed naruto's forehead protector and the torn fragment of the cloak.

How waz it?
Jan. 23, 2011  8:16 PM
 
awesome
Jan. 24, 2011  5:07 AM
 
Great story, but can you read mine? It's called "In all but blood/Dragonheart"
Feb. 02, 2011  1:21 AM
 
Chaptah 3

Disigari was becoming very tired, having been up for the past two days. She looked up at the bright moon, nearly jumping at a noise behind them.
"What the Carp was that?"
"I don't know"
"Hold on, i'll check"
Disigari held her hand in front of her face, and a streem of fire came out of her mouth, forming a ball. She threw the ball behind them, and it came back in the form of a dragon, disappearing with a gust of wind.
"Someone has spotted us! Give me Naruto and run."
"Can you carry him?"
"Yes just go!"
Itachi handed Naruto to her, and ran. Disigari pulled her cloak off her shoulders and took off with Naruto dangling from her hands.
Feb. 02, 2011  1:47 AM
 
I didn't kno u liked naruto.what if u make a chapeau where it's actsually disigari who kills jiraya.and if u like naruto watch Nura:Rise of the yokai clan
Feb. 02, 2011  1:50 AM
 
(Feb. 02, 2011  1:47 AM)Ra Wrote: I didn't kno u liked naruto.what if u make a chapeau where it's actsually disigari who kills jiraya.and if u like naruto watch Nura:Rise of the yokai clan

WHere do i watch that? Youtube?
Feb. 02, 2011  1:50 AM
 
naruto is awesome
Feb. 02, 2011  1:54 AM
 
(Feb. 02, 2011  1:50 AM)aries blader Wrote:
(Feb. 02, 2011  1:47 AM)Ra Wrote: I didn't kno u liked naruto.what if u make a chapeau where it's actsually disigari who kills jiraya.and if u like naruto watch Nura:Rise of the yokai clan

WHere do i watch that? Youtube?

Hulu and can u do the part it will be awesome and j made a new story pls read
Feb. 02, 2011  2:04 AM
 
Cont.
Disigari saw itachi below and landed next to him, holding naruto in her wings.
"Told ya i could!" Grin
"we're almost there"
"good, i'm tierd."
Itachi smiled, and disigeri smiled too. She sent another flame ball behind them, and it came back.
"looks like we lost them"
"We're here"
They went over to an underground passage, and went down a long hall.

TO BE CONTINUED!!!!
(Feb. 02, 2011  1:54 AM)Ra Wrote:
(Feb. 02, 2011  1:50 AM)aries blader Wrote:
(Feb. 02, 2011  1:47 AM)Ra Wrote: I didn't kno u liked naruto.what if u make a chapeau where it's actsually disigari who kills jiraya.and if u like naruto watch Nura:Rise of the yokai clan

WHere do i watch that? Youtube?

Hulu and can u do the part it will be awesome and j made a new story pls read

I don't know...... I don't really care about Jariah, but i don't care to write about him much...
Feb. 04, 2011  10:37 PM
 
Chapter 4
At the end of the long passageway there was a big room with the other akatsuki members in it, but they were hologram looking illusions. Then Pein said "Disigari, you may leave now." She placed Naruto on the ground, turned around, and left the room through the passageway. By now, it was about 3:45 in the morning, so she decided to find a spot to sleep. She thought, 'This looks good.' as she settled down on a soft patch of grass near a stream.
Feb. 11, 2011  3:06 PM
 
Its great! But didnt Itachi KILL EVEYONE IN HIS CLAN BUT SASUKE? hmm?
Feb. 15, 2011  1:32 AM
 
Spoiler (Click to View)
Feb. 15, 2011  2:39 AM
 
fair nough still good though
Apr. 09, 2011  2:55 AM
 
I Am Cancelling this series! Sorry to all those fans! I repeat, this series is officially CANCLED!!!
Sep. 17, 2011  2:56 AM
 
I am happpy to say that i decided to give this story another chance Grin so here it goes!!!

Chapter 5
It was about noon, and Disigari finally woke up, yawning and still tired. The sun was blazing hot, and the grass gently swayed in the breeze that was lazily floating by every ten minuites or so. She sat up and streached her arms out as far as they would go, relieving them of their stress. "Man," she said to herself "what am i going to do for a week?" She took the old and batttered bag off her back and layed it over not far from the cold river, which she then procedded into. Resisting the urge to jump out, she dived under, the tempature of the water so bone-chilling that it felt like pins stabbing her. She finally couldn't stand it anymore and jumped out, gladly welcoming the strong UV rays streeming her way.

Disigari spent the next couple of days miandering around the area, untill she knew it like the back of her hand. Finally, one day she saw someone on the river, in an area she had yet to look at, but they did seem oddly firmiliar... She finally decided to ignore it and moved on.
Sep. 17, 2011  5:21 AM
 
...Okay, listen. Don't you think that if there were another member of the Uchiha Clan, someone would know? That screams MARY-SUE. Really, not to rain on your parade, since it is better than a select few fan-fics, but this one wasn't very well thought-out. And the Shadow Clones to escape thing is just...dated. And stolen from Naruto himself, might I add. And this is SO unrealistic. Do you think that Naruto is STUPID enough to get essentially kidnapped so easily? Really, the guy went toe-to-toe with PAIN and won. Not realistic, even for a fan-fic.
Sep. 17, 2011  2:47 PM
 
(Sep. 17, 2011  5:21 AM)Temporal Wrote: ...Okay, listen. Don't you think that if there were another member of the Uchiha Clan, someone would know? That screams MARY-SUE. Really, not to rain on your parade, since it is better than a select few fan-fics, but this one wasn't very well thought-out. And the Shadow Clones to escape thing is just...dated. And stolen from Naruto himself, might I add. And this is SO unrealistic. Do you think that Naruto is STUPID enough to get essentially kidnapped so easily? Really, the guy went toe-to-toe with PAIN and won. Not realistic, even for a fan-fic.

i'm trying my hardest here, but seriuously, imean, iknow some people are OOC and all, and i am IMPROVING IT AND MIGHT DO A RE-WRITE!!! THIS WAS MY SECOND FANFIC AND NOW I CAN MAKE IT BETTER SINCE I HAVE MORE EXPERIENCE WITH FANFICKS. It also wasnt a shadow clone... Did u read it? I must admit, i have recieved enough critisisim and i am willing to improve it, but posts like these are making me waste time that i could be using to improve it. also, Itachi knew about Disigari... and lastly,THAT WAS JUST FILLER!!! Man, really i see your point here, but the point i am trying to make is that i havent written this since feburairy and that i KNOW it needs work.
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