This is a really good story but it needs improvement in the narrative section. The narration in this is lacking. Overall I would like to give this a 6.5/10. I know you are only 12. I was writing much like that 2 years ago, when I was 12. I will try and help you because you have reawakened by bey memories of plastics 2 years ago.
Edit: Just read chapter 6, The quality in your writing has really improved I really like this story now. New rating: 8.5/10.
Character request:
Name: Jack Wong
Bey: Phantom Howlgust
Element: Ice and Fire
Image of howlust bit beast -
http://quizilla.teennick.com/user_images...sDemon.jpg
Bey parts:
Metal wheel + frame both have phantom shape
Clear wheel: black and red
S135BD
Character bio: Jack is a normal boy with blue eyes and black hair. When his father was about to die, a bey was shot from somewhere and stopped the metal frame falling on his dad. Ever since Jack has used that bey, believing in its power.
Special Moves: Ghost Leap, Great Claw Grip, Criss-Cross Blaze, Ice Fang Fury
Ghost leap:
Phantom Howlgust makes a ghost copy and both leap to the side of the stadium. Then they leap from the edge and dive onto the opponent's beyblade. The Howlgust blades' metal wheels are facing the face bolt of the opponent's bey and then.. contact.. then... victory!
Great Claw Grip:
Phantom Howlgust moves to the center of the stadium and stands his ground, surviving any type of attack for a certain amount of time.
Criss-Cross Blaze: Not fully controllable yet, Jack is reluctant to ever use this move. (It is a lot like rei's ultimate Gatling claw except Jack can't control it yet. Also it is a mixture of ice and fire that hit the opponent)
Ice Fang Fury: The bey runs head on at the opponent's, doing a set pattern twice - 2x (smash, barrage, smash); also, the bey is covered in ice whilst doing this.