Lol I lie how you of is named eijiro like Eijiro kirishima
[Fan Fiction] Reviewing OC Characters/Fanfictions
The first chapter of my new fanfiction is out if you could review it
https://worldbeyblade.org/Thread-Fan-Fic...idge-Storm
https://worldbeyblade.org/Thread-Fan-Fic...idge-Storm
New chapter is up to review
https://www.wattpad.com/1073735346-story...lade-burst
https://www.wattpad.com/1073735346-story...lade-burst
![[Image: im-coming-for-you-ghostface.gif]](https://i.postimg.cc/yxDQrdSs/im-coming-for-you-ghostface.gif)
Name:
-Natsumi Hagane
Aliases/Nicknames:
-Sumi-chan
-Legend's Descendant
Character Age:
-15 years old
Beyblade/s:
-Radiant Neamhain Assault' 5A (System: Superking Layer System/Spin Direction: Right-spin/Beyblade Type: Attack-type)
Physical Appearance:
-Natsumi is a petite girl (160cm) with dark brown chest-length hair with bangs that are brushed downwards, amber eyes, and porcelain skin. Whenever going out she wears a black baseball cap with a yellow stripe on the edge of its brim, a yellow hoodie with two white stripes on each sleeve (and is also somewhat baggy), dark blue jeans and, yellow hi-top sneakers. When her Resonance is activated her hair turns white and her irises turn to gold.
Personality:
-Natsumi is an ambivert girl who is somewhat quiet and would get embarrassed in front of many people but would still socialize with people if they come to her and talk themselves, or whenever she's with her friends or rivals. She has a kind heart and wouldn't hesitate to help anyone whether it be a friend or foe, though this naivete of hers can cause several problems for herself and the people she cares about sometimes. She is also shown to have a great obsession with video games (especially first-person shooters and hack-and-slash games) which sometimes impedes her Blading and has great knowledge of internet culture.
Likes:
-Gingka Hagane, Marina Yumiya, Peter Kadoya, Devil May Cry series, Left 4 Dead series, Gran Turismo series, thigh-high socks/long socks, rainy days, her father's cooking, takoyaki.
Dislikes:
-Lean Walhalla, Marina's doujinshis, biased/self-centered people, sadistic people, cheaters, pay-to-win games, microtransactions.
Character Alignment:
-Neutral Good
Background:
-After having her mother separate from her former father, Natsumi's mother married Gingka Hagane. Later on, Natsumi's mother suffered a health issue before dying when she was 10 years old which resulted in her being left with Gingka as her father.
Special Moves:
-Radiant Slash: Neamhain channels energy to one of its blades to deal immense damage to its opponent.
-Radiant Shoot: Neamhain gains speed on the edge of the stadium resulting in a vacuum being created within the stadium that drags its opponent towards Neamhain as it's vulnerable.
-Lightspeed Shoot: Neamhain gains speed on the edge of the stadium resulting in a vacuum that lifts up its opponent in the air, making them vulnerable or throw them out of the stadium if she liked. Neamhain can reach 405km/h (251mph) while performing this move.
-Radiant Comet: Neamhain jumps up in the air in order to gain momentum before landing on her opponent to deal immense damage to them from mid-air.
Quotes:
'Yabai.'
'H-hey, my name's Natsumi. N-Natsumi Hagane. You can just call me Sumi-chan if you like...'
'W-what? I-I-I'm not that strong you know! T-that was just mere luck!'
Relationships:
-Gingka Hagane: Gingka is Natsumi's step-father and her role model as well as a mentor to her.
-Unnamed mother: She is Natsumi's biological mother and considers her as one of her best friends as well as a mother, Natsumi became a shut-in for a year after her mother died.
-Unnamed father: He is Natsumi's biological father which she despises due to him leaving her mother for no reason.
-Marina Yumiya: She is one of Natsumi's childhood friends and one of her closest friends, they entered the same school and support each other as well. She can be seen sometimes walking with Natsumi in order to get references from cityscapes or just hanging out with her alongside Peter.
-Peter Kadoya: He is one of Natsumi's childhood friends and of her closest friends as well, much like Marina they entered the same school and support each other as well. He is also Natsumi's mechanic and helps her fix her Beys.
-Fuuka Tategami: She is one of Natsumi's childhood friends and a rival as well.
-Tsukasa Nakazato: He is one of Natsumi's classmates and considered a mentor to some extent and a rival.
-Akari Nakazato: She is one of Natsumi's classmates and friends and is also a rival much like Akari's brother, Tsukasa.
-Natsumi Hagane
Aliases/Nicknames:
-Sumi-chan
-Legend's Descendant
Character Age:
-15 years old
Beyblade/s:
-Radiant Neamhain Assault' 5A (System: Superking Layer System/Spin Direction: Right-spin/Beyblade Type: Attack-type)
Physical Appearance:
-Natsumi is a petite girl (160cm) with dark brown chest-length hair with bangs that are brushed downwards, amber eyes, and porcelain skin. Whenever going out she wears a black baseball cap with a yellow stripe on the edge of its brim, a yellow hoodie with two white stripes on each sleeve (and is also somewhat baggy), dark blue jeans and, yellow hi-top sneakers. When her Resonance is activated her hair turns white and her irises turn to gold.
Personality:
-Natsumi is an ambivert girl who is somewhat quiet and would get embarrassed in front of many people but would still socialize with people if they come to her and talk themselves, or whenever she's with her friends or rivals. She has a kind heart and wouldn't hesitate to help anyone whether it be a friend or foe, though this naivete of hers can cause several problems for herself and the people she cares about sometimes. She is also shown to have a great obsession with video games (especially first-person shooters and hack-and-slash games) which sometimes impedes her Blading and has great knowledge of internet culture.
Likes:
-Gingka Hagane, Marina Yumiya, Peter Kadoya, Devil May Cry series, Left 4 Dead series, Gran Turismo series, thigh-high socks/long socks, rainy days, her father's cooking, takoyaki.
Dislikes:
-Lean Walhalla, Marina's doujinshis, biased/self-centered people, sadistic people, cheaters, pay-to-win games, microtransactions.
Character Alignment:
-Neutral Good
Background:
-After having her mother separate from her former father, Natsumi's mother married Gingka Hagane. Later on, Natsumi's mother suffered a health issue before dying when she was 10 years old which resulted in her being left with Gingka as her father.
Special Moves:
-Radiant Slash: Neamhain channels energy to one of its blades to deal immense damage to its opponent.
-Radiant Shoot: Neamhain gains speed on the edge of the stadium resulting in a vacuum being created within the stadium that drags its opponent towards Neamhain as it's vulnerable.
-Lightspeed Shoot: Neamhain gains speed on the edge of the stadium resulting in a vacuum that lifts up its opponent in the air, making them vulnerable or throw them out of the stadium if she liked. Neamhain can reach 405km/h (251mph) while performing this move.
-Radiant Comet: Neamhain jumps up in the air in order to gain momentum before landing on her opponent to deal immense damage to them from mid-air.
Quotes:
'Yabai.'
'H-hey, my name's Natsumi. N-Natsumi Hagane. You can just call me Sumi-chan if you like...'
'W-what? I-I-I'm not that strong you know! T-that was just mere luck!'
Relationships:
-Gingka Hagane: Gingka is Natsumi's step-father and her role model as well as a mentor to her.
-Unnamed mother: She is Natsumi's biological mother and considers her as one of her best friends as well as a mother, Natsumi became a shut-in for a year after her mother died.
-Unnamed father: He is Natsumi's biological father which she despises due to him leaving her mother for no reason.
-Marina Yumiya: She is one of Natsumi's childhood friends and one of her closest friends, they entered the same school and support each other as well. She can be seen sometimes walking with Natsumi in order to get references from cityscapes or just hanging out with her alongside Peter.
-Peter Kadoya: He is one of Natsumi's childhood friends and of her closest friends as well, much like Marina they entered the same school and support each other as well. He is also Natsumi's mechanic and helps her fix her Beys.
-Fuuka Tategami: She is one of Natsumi's childhood friends and a rival as well.
-Tsukasa Nakazato: He is one of Natsumi's classmates and considered a mentor to some extent and a rival.
-Akari Nakazato: She is one of Natsumi's classmates and friends and is also a rival much like Akari's brother, Tsukasa.
I just posted my first installment in my fanfiction and would love if someone could review it!
https://worldbeyblade.org/Thread-Fan-Fic...pid1769191
https://worldbeyblade.org/Thread-Fan-Fic...pid1769191
Can someone Review my Fanfiction Beyblade Burst Yin Yang I really want to get better and entertain my readers. Also if you can't review it that's fine.
Can someone review my fanfic? Thanks!
![[Image: R.9ecfe05b475c20e74da13873759e261a?rik=m...ImgRaw&r=0]](https://th.bing.com/th/id/R.9ecfe05b475c20e74da13873759e261a?rik=mII2asmUx4WMIw&riu=http%3a%2f%2fwallpapercave.com%2fwp%2f9aWF7Jz.jpg&ehk=kAu%2bLzoMefuSAAdFfA4ibSbhmgaSk%2fEYK5ZdcwV0qq0%3d&risl=&pid=ImgRaw&r=0)
Character Rework
Name:
Natsumi Hagane
Gender:
Female
Age:
15 years old
Nationality:
Japanese
Beyblade:
Radiant Neamhain Assault' 5A
Appearance:
Natsumi is a petite Japanese girl (standing at 5'2ft.), with chest-length brown hair that's brushed down, amber eyes, and a fair skin complexion. Her outfit consists of a black baseball cap with a yellow line running along the edge of the brim, a yellow hoodie that's somehow baggy and has two stripes on each sleeve, dark blue jeans, and yellow hi-top sneakers with white soles.
Personality:
Natsumi is a somewhat awkward person who's shy around most people and tries to avoid attention from other people for the most part, but if she needs to (or wants to) she will try to make friends with people and help them if they're in need. When she's around her friends, she's usually more bubbly and speaks more clearly around them. When she finds the motivation, she focuses on whatever task is at hand. Sometimes, she'd get strayed away by her thoughts, but Neamhain would help her find her way in order to succeed in the end. When she's not motivated, she's usually lazy and tries to avoid tasks, usually playing her video games.
Relationships:
Gingka Hagane:
Gingka is her foster father after her mother was remarried to him. She idolizes him and loves him as he's one of the only few family members she has left.
Momoko Hagane:
Momoko is Natsumi's biological mother, and she also loved her greatly. Her mother took care of her and nurtured her along with her father, trying their best to give her a good life. By the time of her death (through an illness she had), she left one last gift to her. Her spirit.
Peter Kadoya:
Peter is one of Natsumi's childhood friends and one of her best friends as well. Both of them enjoy video games and both have good musical talent (even though Natsumi's only good with the violin), and Peter acts as her engineer, same for Marina as well.
Marina Yumiya:
Much like Peter, Marina is one of Natsumi's best childhood friends. She lightens up Natsumi's mood whenever she's down, and sometimes even conceptualizes her Beyblades as well as the parts for Peter's Beyblades. Even though Natsumi dislikes her perverted side, she still remains her friend.
Tsukasa Nakazato:
Tsukasa is one of Natsumi's friends and sees her as a leader and a guide most of the time, much like how he does with her class. She sees him as a great rival as well and has a friendly rivalry with him.
Name:
Natsumi Hagane
Gender:
Female
Age:
15 years old
Nationality:
Japanese
Beyblade:
Radiant Neamhain Assault' 5A
Appearance:
Natsumi is a petite Japanese girl (standing at 5'2ft.), with chest-length brown hair that's brushed down, amber eyes, and a fair skin complexion. Her outfit consists of a black baseball cap with a yellow line running along the edge of the brim, a yellow hoodie that's somehow baggy and has two stripes on each sleeve, dark blue jeans, and yellow hi-top sneakers with white soles.
Personality:
Natsumi is a somewhat awkward person who's shy around most people and tries to avoid attention from other people for the most part, but if she needs to (or wants to) she will try to make friends with people and help them if they're in need. When she's around her friends, she's usually more bubbly and speaks more clearly around them. When she finds the motivation, she focuses on whatever task is at hand. Sometimes, she'd get strayed away by her thoughts, but Neamhain would help her find her way in order to succeed in the end. When she's not motivated, she's usually lazy and tries to avoid tasks, usually playing her video games.
Relationships:
Gingka Hagane:
Gingka is her foster father after her mother was remarried to him. She idolizes him and loves him as he's one of the only few family members she has left.
Momoko Hagane:
Momoko is Natsumi's biological mother, and she also loved her greatly. Her mother took care of her and nurtured her along with her father, trying their best to give her a good life. By the time of her death (through an illness she had), she left one last gift to her. Her spirit.
Peter Kadoya:
Peter is one of Natsumi's childhood friends and one of her best friends as well. Both of them enjoy video games and both have good musical talent (even though Natsumi's only good with the violin), and Peter acts as her engineer, same for Marina as well.
Marina Yumiya:
Much like Peter, Marina is one of Natsumi's best childhood friends. She lightens up Natsumi's mood whenever she's down, and sometimes even conceptualizes her Beyblades as well as the parts for Peter's Beyblades. Even though Natsumi dislikes her perverted side, she still remains her friend.
Tsukasa Nakazato:
Tsukasa is one of Natsumi's friends and sees her as a leader and a guide most of the time, much like how he does with her class. She sees him as a great rival as well and has a friendly rivalry with him.