Boris' Cringey Adventure!
Episode 1:
A Cringey Start to a Cringey Adventure!
~ Hey, you. Wake up! ~
"Huh? What the-" Boris moaned as he'd take a wide glimpse at his hands. "Where am I?"
~ Your in the void, basically your head, lol ~
"Lol?! What kind of stupid slang language is that?" Boris exclaimed.
~ Oh boy, you'll need to learn a few things... ~
"What kind of things? Explain yourself NOW!"
~ Look, we literally don't have the time to talk! Get up NOW! ~
"AGH! What in the heck just happened?!" Boris said, scratching his messy, black hair as he'd leap out of bed.
A door would open, specifically his door.
"Boris! Boris?" Said Boris' mum, apparently.
"MOM! You've gotta help me!" Boris cried.
"Oh good lord..." Mom would say, clearly annoyed, as shown by her smile suddenly dropping to a bored frown.
Boris did this EVERY day, but today was different.
"Gosh darn it Boris, how about you stop making up excuses to stay home from church and get UP!" She'd say as she'd waltz out of the room, shutting the door behid her in anger.
"Ugh, nothing's making sense today!!" Boris yelled as he'd open the wooden dresser to the right of his bed. He'd then get a brown shirt that said "I Made It To Bingbong!" and some black jeans, along with some white, generic socks.
He'd then enrobe himself with his shirt, then on to his pants, and then finally, his socks. He'd then toss the boxers he was wearing into his basket, right behind his bed, which usually held all of his dirty clothes. As of now, it was filled to the brim with clothes. Next, he'd slip on his Nadroj's shoes; red with brown and grey stripes all around. The people at his elementary school called them drip, but he usually ignored it, due to the high amount of drip police in the area. He'd then leave his room, noticably tired with the signature anime sweatdrop on his face. He'd then travel down the stairs, heading to the kitchen.
"Morning, Boris!" His older sister, Lamina, cried, greatful for Boris waking up to another day. She had her usual stuff on: Her hair was in a brown bun, she had silver eyes, a pink jacket, a black shirt, and blue pants with lavender Nadroj's shoes. As you can see, Boris' parents don't really care for the massive mount of drip their children were wearing.
At that moment, Boris smiled and replied "Morning, Lamina!", glad that he has a sibling that DOESN'T annoy him. However, at that same moment, his older brother said..
"Morning, little squirt!" The second oldest, Legolas, added, waltzing into the kitchen to the displeasure of both Boris and Lamina. Everyone in the house hated him-- except their parents, who loved him and viewed him as the "Favorite Child". He has black, spiky hair (to reflect how he acts), hazel eyes, a black Leatherman's Jacket with silver sleeves, a grey T-Shirt, and green pants with black, gold, and red Lightning Nadroj's shoes, which are EXTREMELY expensive, going up to prices of 6000 to 10000! Even his name was rare, not really putting the time into Boris' name, clearly being the least favorite child.
Annoyed by Legolas' presence, Boris and Lamina just went to go sit by the couch, watching their favorite TV Show, the Bad Apple. It consisted of an Apple turning into a human and doing bad things. Crazy, right? Well, this fanfic will get so much more crazy...
Suddenly, their Mom and Dad would come bursting through their door.
"Alright you all, time to go!" Dad said as he'd grasp the car keys in his hand, opening up the front door for all three of them to go to the car. Suddenly...
"I CALL SHOTGUN!" Lamina and Legolas asked, shooting their hands up, with Boris not even bothering to ask due to their parent's opinion on Legolas.
"Legolas, you can get in the passenger seat." Mom insisted. "I'll sit in the back with the other two."
Boris sighed. "Mom being old-fangirl Mom..." He said, annoyed as he'd hop in the car along with Dad, Mom, Legolas, and Lamina.
They'd then drive to the Trevailan Bapitian Church, with Boris irritated due to not being much of a fan of church. As they'd enter the Church, a whole group would go:
"SHHHH!" They'd say, putting their index fingers over their mouths as they'd point to the pastor with the book in his hand.
They'd shake a little, yet they would just take a seat regardless.
"The memes of our world can be demonstrated by a fruit fly. There isn't much to them, but they are indeed interesting!" The pastor would preach as a whole chorus would rise and start to chant "Praise thou meme lords!"
"Ugh, this is unbearingly cringey..." Boris would say as he'd start to browse his phone for a good youtube video. Then, suddenly, his Mom said "Get off that phone, Boris!", noticeably quiet for Mom. As he got off of his phone, his brother, Legolas, would stick his tongue out at him.
"How can he play with his phone when I can't play with mine?" Boris asked, mad due to not being able to play with his phone to rid him of the boredom that church gave him. "Well, maybe because Legolas is older than you!" Mom replied. "By a MONTH!" Boris countered, tired of his Mom's shenanigans. "Stop talking to your Mom like that!" Dad replied. "You know what, Lamina, and ESPECIALLY Boris, give me your phones!" Dad said, with little to no judgement. "What the- what did Lamina do?" Boris replied, insanely angry with his father. "Ok then; just give me your phone!" Dad replied, angry with Boris. "UGH! THIS IS BOGUS!" Boris whispered, very close to yelling. He'd then hand Dad his pone, leaning back in his seat in pure anger.
"Psst... hey!" A girl next to Boris would whisper. "I like your drip!" The girl would add. "Wow, thanks!" Boris would reply, also whispering as he'd lean over towards her, with his parents surprisingly not noticed as they were too drained in the pastor's meme speech. "What's your name?" Boris would ask. "The name's Petra Garcia-" She'd be paused by a certain "WRRRRNG!" siren noise.
"Oh no..." Petra would say, worried about what was gonna happen. "What's happening?" Boris asked, worried about his own life.
"OPEN FIRE, 707 FIRING SQUAD, GO!" A man would shout, triggering all the people in the church to start panicking. "DUCK AND COVER, DUDE!" Petra would yell as she'd hide under a chair. Then, Boris would jump over their chair and hide alongside Petra.
Suddenly, an INTENSE wave of power would shoot through the building, implying that... the Drip Police had shot a grenade launcher!
"We gotta run, bro!" Petra exclaimed as she'd grab Boris' hand and ran along with the rest of the people in the destroyed church, running towards the forest's concrete path, close to the city.
"ARCHER SQUAD, GO!" Apparently, the commander said as the archery squad would line up among the hills. "Wait, why do they need a archer squad-" Boris would then be paused by a sudden feeling of pain. "AAAAAGH!!" Boris cried as he'd collapse to the ground in sheer pain. "DUDE, NO!" Petra yelled out as she'd try to go towards Boris to help, but then a tranquilizer dart would knock her out cold.
"Alright team; we got 'em." The Commander said.
~Don't worry, that's not how it'll end. Sure, Boris and his newfound friend Petra got wiped out, but this'll all be addressed in the next episode. Seeya!~
