Chapter 14 the finals awaken fusion warrior
Gwynn:hmm you made it this far shun let's see how strong you be came.
Dimitri walks into gwynn's room
Dimitri:I need you help me beat shun
Later
Free:shun are you ok since you fused. You seemed a little bit weird
Shun:I am fine. It's just i-
Dimitri kicks down the door shun's hospital room
Dimitri:shun battle me
Shun jumps
Shun:ah what the hell is wrong with you .
Free: Dimitri I think you went to far. Shun are you ok?
A bright light comes from shun. Shun's earrings glows blue.
Shun:alright. Dimitri I will battle you . but first I have a tournament to win.
At the tournament. Next match valt vs aiga vs shun vs shu.
Valt:wow I did not expect shun to be here.
Aiga:she is really strong trust me.
Shu:she is my sister. And she is getting married.
Shun:are you seriously gonna start.
3 2 1 go shoot.
Shu:go spriggan world upper
Aiga go Achilles
Valt:go valkyrie
The 3 beys hit maiden at the same time.
Shun:what a pain. Maiden Maidens collection.
Maiden steals power from spriggan,valkyrie,and Achilles.
Everybody:nani.
Shun:are you trying to actually make me go serious.
Maiden knocks all the other beys back.
Everyboby:she is so strong. Dang is she even trying.
Maiden attack the attack beys.
Shun:maiden let's finish this.
The mark of maiden began to glow black.
Shun:go maiden finish thi-
Shun unfuses.
Shun:what happened.
Maiden:the mark is reacting to something.
Shun:maiden go maidens recollection
Maiden hits spriggan and Achilles.
Shu:I was waiting for that spriggan upper shoot.
Spriggan knocks maiden into valkyrie.
Shun:maiden go.
A big of energy explodes from maiden. Valkyrie and Achilles were sent flying. And valkyrie bursts mid air.
Shun:well that's the end of valkyrie.
Shun breaths heavily.
Maiden:your really hurt shun don't push yourself.
Shu:go spriggan.
Suddenly a aura forms around shun.
Shun:maidens time
*time stops*
Shun:I got 30 seconds of a break
Shun breaths heavily
*time resumes*
Spriggan knocks maiden into the air
Shun:well maiden at least we made it to the finals.
Shun collapses from the maidens time Penalty.
Aiga:stop the match.
Shu:shun are you ok shun answer me shunnnnnn.
Valt:call a hospital.
Akira and Alice rushed over to shun's body.
Akira:shun wake up shun
Akira starts crying
Alice:shun wake up.
Alice checks for a pulse.
Alice:there is no pulse. Wait a second it's a faint pulse shun's alive.
Chapter end.
Next time on beyblade burst apocalypse.
Akira:looks like shun is going to be alright.
Gwynn:looks look maiden is more powerful than I hoped.
Akira:so your the one who hurt shun.
Next time on beyblade burst apocalypse
Gwynn vs free battle of the lovers.

---

Creator/owner of beyblade burst apocalypse.
Maiden will awaken and destroy genesis once more!
i have returned

Chapter 14 the finals awaken fusion warrior
Gwynn:hmm you made it this far shun let's see how strong you be came.
Dimitri walks into gwynn's room
Dimitri:I need you help me beat shun
Later
Free:shun are you ok since you fused. You seemed a little bit weird
Shun:I am fine. It's just i-
Dimitri kicks down the door shun's hospital room
Dimitri:shun battle me
Shun jumps
Shun:ah what the hell is wrong with you .
Freeimitri I think you went to far. Shun are you ok?
A bright light comes from shun. Shun's earrings glows blue.
Shun:alright. Dimitri I will battle you . but first I have a tournament to win.
At the tournament. Next match valt vs aiga vs shun vs shu.
Valt:wow I did not expect shun to be here.
Aiga:she is really strong trust me.
Shu:she is my sister. And she is getting married.
Shun:are you seriously gonna start.
3 2 1 go shoot.
Shu:go spriggan world upper
Aiga go Achilles
Valt:go valkyrie
The 3 beys hit maiden at the same time.
Shun:what a pain. Maiden Maidens collection.
Maiden steals power from spriggan,valkyrie,and Achilles.
Everybody:nani.
Shun:are you trying to actually make me go serious.
Maiden knocks all the other beys back.
Everyboby:she is so strong. Dang is she even trying.
Maiden attack the attack beys.
Shun:maiden let's finish this.
The mark of maiden began to glow black.
Shun:go maiden finish thi-
Shun unfuses.
Shun:what happened.
Maiden:the mark is reacting to something.
Shun:maiden go maidens recollection
Maiden hits spriggan and Achilles.
Shu:I was waiting for that spriggan upper shoot.
Spriggan knocks maiden into valkyrie.
Shun:maiden go.
A big of energy explodes from maiden. Valkyrie and Achilles were sent flying. And valkyrie bursts mid air.
Shun:well that's the end of valkyrie.
Shun breaths heavily.
Maiden:your really hurt shun don't push yourself.
Shu:go spriggan.
Suddenly a aura forms around shun.
Shun:maidens time
*time stops*
Shun:I got 30 seconds of a break
Shun breaths heavily
*time resumes*
Spriggan knocks maiden into the air
Shun:well maiden at least we made it to the finals.
Shun collapses from the maidens time Penalty.
Aiga:stop the match.
Shu:shun are you ok shun answer me shunnnnnn.
Valt:call a hospital.
Akira and Alice rushed over to shun's body.
Akira:shun wake up shun
Akira starts crying
Alice:shun wake up.
Alice checks for a pulse.
Alice:there is no pulse. Wait a second it's a faint pulse shun's alive.
Chapter end.
Next time on beyblade burst apocalypse.
Akira:looks like shun is going to be alright.
Gwynn:looks look maiden is more powerful than I hoped.
Akira:so your the one who hurt shun.
Next time on beyblade burst apocalypse
Gwynn vs free battle of the lovers.

This is a interesting story

---

“He sees you” 

Chapter 14 the finals awaken fusion warrior
Gwynn:hmm you made it this far shun let's see how strong you be came.
Dimitri walks into gwynn's room
Dimitri:I need you help me beat shun
Later
Free:shun are you ok since you fused. You seemed a little bit weird
Shun:I am fine. It's just i-
Dimitri kicks down the door shun's hospital room
Dimitri:shun battle me
Shun jumps
Shun:ah what the hell is wrong with you .
Freeimitri I think you went to far. Shun are you ok?
A bright light comes from shun. Shun's earrings glows blue.
Shun:alright. Dimitri I will battle you . but first I have a tournament to win.
At the tournament. Next match valt vs aiga vs shun vs shu.
Valt:wow I did not expect shun to be here.
Aiga:she is really strong trust me.
Shu:she is my sister. And she is getting married.
Shun:are you seriously gonna start.
3 2 1 go shoot.
Shu:go spriggan world upper
Aiga go Achilles
Valt:go valkyrie
The 3 beys hit maiden at the same time.
Shun:what a pain. Maiden Maidens collection.
Maiden steals power from spriggan,valkyrie,and Achilles.
Everybody:nani.
Shun:are you trying to actually make me go serious.
Maiden knocks all the other beys back.
Everyboby:she is so strong. Dang is she even trying.
Maiden attack the attack beys.
Shun:maiden let's finish this.
The mark of maiden began to glow black.
Shun:go maiden finish thi-
Shun unfuses.
Shun:what happened.
Maiden:the mark is reacting to something.
Shun:maiden go maidens recollection
Maiden hits spriggan and Achilles.
Shu:I was waiting for that spriggan upper shoot.
Spriggan knocks maiden into valkyrie.
Shun:maiden go.
A big of energy explodes from maiden. Valkyrie and Achilles were sent flying. And valkyrie bursts mid air.
Shun:well that's the end of valkyrie.
Shun breaths heavily.
Maiden:your really hurt shun don't push yourself.
Shu:go spriggan.
Suddenly a aura forms around shun.
Shun:maidens time
*time stops*
Shun:I got 30 seconds of a break
Shun breaths heavily
*time resumes*
Spriggan knocks maiden into the air
Shun:well maiden at least we made it to the finals.
Shun collapses from the maidens time Penalty.
Aiga:stop the match.
Shu:shun are you ok shun answer me shunnnnnn.
Valt:call a hospital.
Akira and Alice rushed over to shun's body.
Akira:shun wake up shun
Akira starts crying
Alice:shun wake up.
Alice checks for a pulse.
Alice:there is no pulse. Wait a second it's a faint pulse shun's alive.
Chapter end.
Next time on beyblade burst apocalypse.
Akira:looks like shun is going to be alright.
Gwynn:looks look maiden is more powerful than I hoped.
Akira:so your the one who hurt shun.
Next time on beyblade burst apocalypse
Gwynn vs free battle of the lovers.

This is a interesting story

Well next episode is gonna be awesome

---

Creator/owner of beyblade burst apocalypse.
Maiden will awaken and destroy genesis once more!
i have returned

This is a interesting story

Well next episode is gonna be awesome

Alright, also has anyone else entered the competition

---

“He sees you” 

Well next episode is gonna be awesome

Alright, also has anyone else entered the competition

Yes.
Little teaser of the next chapter
Shun:free will you protect me?
Free:of course my love.
Gwynn:what are you doing with a idiot like free shun.
Free:idiot? Says the one that looks like Elsa from frozen.

---

Creator/owner of beyblade burst apocalypse.
Maiden will awaken and destroy genesis once more!
i have returned

I’m sorry, but you make Maiden’s personality so inconsistent. It’s one thing if it’s a change over many chapters, but like every episode or two, it changes. It’s just too inconsistent.

---

I’m sorry, but you make Maiden’s personality so inconsistent. It’s one thing if it’s a change over many chapters, but like every episode or two, it changes. It’s just too inconsistent.

What about if maiden is a conflicted character and that’s why it’s inconsistent

---

“He sees you” 

I’m sorry, but you make Maiden’s personality so inconsistent. It’s one thing if it’s a change over many chapters, but like every episode or two, it changes. It’s just too inconsistent.

What about if maiden is a conflicted character and that’s why it’s inconsistent

Then maybe write that in the story? Otherwise the readers are gonna be confused on what to think of Maiden.

---

What about if maiden is a conflicted character and that’s why it’s inconsistent

Then maybe write that in the story? Otherwise the readers are gonna be confused on what to think of Maiden.

I’m not writing I’m just coming up with ideas that could explain that

---

“He sees you” 

Maiden character is still developing lol

---

Chapter 15 free vs gwynn battle of lovers
Flashback
Free:shun you ok
Shun:I am fine as long as I am with you.
Shun kisses free on the cheek
Free:your so sweet shun
Free hugs shun
Flash back end
Free:shun please wake up.
Free starts crying.
Akira:shun wake up
Flashback
???:is that all you got shun?
Shun breaths heavily. Blood runs down shun's hands. Shun nearly collapses.
Shun:thank you free you really helped me. Take this maidens recollection final burst
A huge burst of energy explodes from maiden.
Shun:arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Shun collapses.
Flashback end
Shun wakes up
Shun:am i back?
Free:shun
Free hugs shun.
Gwynn walks into shun's hospital room.
Gwynn:shun your alive looks like my work here is done. Looks like my upgrade of maiden worked.
Free:you did this to shun.
A yellow aura appears around free.
Gwynn:what are you gonna do about it.
Free:a bey battle.
Later
3 2 1 go shoot
Free:go fafnir mirage claw
Fafnir hits genesis into the air
Gwynn:go genesis
Genesis lands safely.
Free:go fafnir nothing upper
Fafnir gains speed and hits genesis.
Gwynn:what.
A random bey invades free's attack.
???:mind if i cut in.
The figure laughs insanely
Free:who is that.
???:go quetzalcoatl destroy them perfect big bang
Genesis is sent flying and bursts. Also fafnir lands in free's hand.
???:lucky you withstanded that attack.
The figure is revealed its free's sister Alyssa
Alyssa:hmm your all weak but you brother.
quetzalcoatl hits the wall and flys into Alyssa's hand.
Alyssa:who is next.
Shun:I am.
Shun appears from the shadows.
Alyssa:who are you.
Shun: I am shun kurenai the maiden of destruction. The first female of the maiden bloodline. You dare challenge a god?
A half black and half red aura appears around shun.
Alyssa:let's see what you got shun.
Chapter end
Next time on beyblade burst apocalypse
Free:woah shun your really strong.
Shun:lets go maiden.
Alyssa:go quetzalcoatl finish him.
Free:shun your going over your limit your gonna die. Shun noooooooooo.
3 2 1 go shoot

---

Creator/owner of beyblade burst apocalypse.
Maiden will awaken and destroy genesis once more!
i have returned

Chapter 16 shun's final battle?/quetzalcoatl vs maiden
Shun:let's go maiden. Maidens fusion.
A bright light comes from shun.
Shun:alright. Let's go Alyssa.
3 2 1 go shoot
Alyssa:go quetzalcoatl bound circle
quetzalcoatl hits the wall and rebounds into the center.
Shun:go maiden. Maidens collection
Maiden attacks quetzalcoatl and drains some of its power.
Alyssa:pathetic go quetzalcoatl perfect shield.
maiden is sent flying.
Shun:your strong.
Shun unfuses.
Shun:tch my time limit of fusion ran out. Go maiden
Alyssa:go quetzalcoatl perfect big bang
quetzalcoatl hits maiden and maiden gets sent flying.
Shun breaths heavily while blood runs down her hands.
Shun:thank you free,aiga,drum,shu,Alice and akira for showing what it means to be a blader. Maiden attack quetzalcoatl.
Maiden hits quetzalcoatl
Shun:maiden go maidens recollection.
A huge burst of energy explodes from maiden.
Shun:maidens barrier
Shun coughs up blood and collapses.
Chapter end!

---

Creator/owner of beyblade burst apocalypse.
Maiden will awaken and destroy genesis once more!
i have returned

Chapter 16 shun's final battle?/quetzalcoatl vs maiden
Shun:let's go maiden. Maidens fusion.
A bright light comes from shun.
Shun:alright. Let's go Alyssa.
3 2 1 go shoot
Alyssa:go quetzalcoatl bound circle
quetzalcoatl hits the wall and rebounds into the center.
Shun:go maiden. Maidens collection
Maiden attacks quetzalcoatl and drains some of its power.
Alyssa:pathetic go quetzalcoatl perfect shield.
maiden is sent flying.
Shun:your strong.
Shun unfuses.
Shun:tch my time limit of fusion ran out. Go maiden
Alyssa:go quetzalcoatl perfect big bang
quetzalcoatl hits maiden and maiden gets sent flying.
Shun breaths heavily while blood runs down her hands.
Shun:thank you free,aiga,drum,shu,Alice and akira for showing what it means to be a blader. Maiden attack quetzalcoatl.
Maiden hits quetzalcoatl
Shun:maiden go maidens recollection.
A huge burst of energy explodes from maiden.
Shun:maidens barrier
Shun coughs up blood and collapses.
Chapter end!

Just one thing, Quetzalcoatl already exists in the dual layer system.

---

 hi

Chapter 16 shun's final battle?/quetzalcoatl vs maiden
Shun:let's go maiden. Maidens fusion.
A bright light comes from shun.
Shun:alright. Let's go Alyssa.
3 2 1 go shoot
Alyssa:go quetzalcoatl bound circle
quetzalcoatl hits the wall and rebounds into the center.
Shun:go maiden. Maidens collection
Maiden attacks quetzalcoatl and drains some of its power.
Alyssa:pathetic go quetzalcoatl perfect shield.
maiden is sent flying.
Shun:your strong.
Shun unfuses.
Shun:tch my time limit of fusion ran out. Go maiden
Alyssa:go quetzalcoatl perfect big bang
quetzalcoatl hits maiden and maiden gets sent flying.
Shun breaths heavily while blood runs down her hands.
Shun:thank you free,aiga,drum,shu,Alice and akira for showing what it means to be a blader. Maiden attack quetzalcoatl.
Maiden hits quetzalcoatl
Shun:maiden go maidens recollection.
A huge burst of energy explodes from maiden.
Shun:maidens barrier
Shun coughs up blood and collapses.
Chapter end!

Just one thing, Quetzalcoatl already exists in the dual layer system.

I know it's a different quetzalcoatl.

---

Chapter 17 revenge for shun/thank everyone
Free: Shun get up you can't die on me now.
Shun looks at free.
Shun:thank ... You free for being at my side.
Free checks shun's pulse.
Free:shun wake up please. I can't lose you again. Shunnnnnn!
Akira and Alice come rushing towards shun's body
Akira bursts into tears
Akira:shun please don't die. I need you.
Alice:shun get up. Don't die on me I need your help.
Alyssa:she is dead I guess her body could not handle maidens recollection.
Shun:I won't go down easy.
Shun stands up.
Shun:thank God maidens barrier. Kept the full impact of the blast from hitting my body.
Free:shun your back
Free hugs shun
Free:I thought you were dead.
Shun:my love kept me alive free. It's you who kept me alive.
Maiden:shun your alive. Let's go battle Alyssa.
Shun:maiden it's time that I refuse to battle. Maiden let's use the forbidden technique
A light shines from shun
Shun:let's go maiden. Maidens darkness fusion.
Shun's earring glows blue.
Shun:alright.
3 2 1 go shoot.
Free pushs shun aside.
Free:sorry shun. Go fafnir.
Fafnir hits quetzalcoatl
Alyssa:go quetzalcoatl darkness collection
A big burst of energy makes wind move really fast.
Shun:free be careful.
Alyssa:pure turbo
quetzalcoatl shines yellow.
Free:fafnir mirage claw.
quetzalcoatl hits fafnir into the air. A random bey hits fafnir back into play.
Shun :I am not gonna let you lose free.
Shun breaths heavily as her wounds bleed badly.
Free:shun. Arghhhhhhh fafnir mirage upper
Fafnir knocks quetzalcoatl into the air.
Shun:you did it.
Shun laughs then collapses. Maiden is knocked out next to shun's body.
Free:burst now.
fafnir hits quetzalcoatl as it was about to hit ground. quetzalcoatl was cracked.
Chapter end

---

Creator/owner of beyblade burst apocalypse.
Maiden will awaken and destroy genesis once more!
i have returned

Just one thing, Quetzalcoatl already exists in the dual layer system.

I know it's a different quetzalcoatl.

---

Chapter 17 revenge for shun/thank everyone
Freehun get up you can't die on me now.
Shun looks at free.
Shun:thank ... You free for being at my side.
Free checks shun's pulse.
Free:shun wake up please. I can't lose you again. Shunnnnnn!
Akira and Alice come rushing towards shun's body
Akira bursts into tears
Akira:shun please don't die. I need you.
Alice:shun get up. Don't die on me I need your help.
Alyssa:she is dead I guess her body could not handle maidens recollection.
Shun:I won't go down easy.
Shun stands up.
Shun:thank God maidens barrier. Kept the full impact of the blast from hitting my body.
Free:shun your back
Free hugs shun
Free:I thought you were dead.
Shun:my love kept me alive free. It's you who kept me alive.
Maiden:shun your alive. Let's go battle Alyssa.
Shun:maiden it's time that I refuse to battle. Maiden let's use the forbidden technique
A light shines from shun
Shun:let's go maiden. Maidens darkness fusion.
Shun's earring glows blue.
Shun:alright.
3 2 1 go shoot.
Free pushs shun aside.
Free:sorry shun. Go fafnir.
Fafnir hits quetzalcoatl
Alyssa:go quetzalcoatl darkness collection
A big burst of energy makes wind move really fast.
Shun:free be careful.
Alyssa:pure turbo
quetzalcoatl shines yellow.
Free:fafnir mirage claw.
quetzalcoatl hits fafnir into the air. A random bey hits fafnir back into play.
Shun :I am not gonna let you lose free.
Shun breaths heavily as her wounds bleed badly.
Free:shun. Arghhhhhhh fafnir mirage upper
Fafnir knocks quetzalcoatl into the air.
Shun:you did it.
Shun laughs then collapses. Maiden is knocked out next to shun's body.
Free:burst now fafnir hits quetzalcoatl as it was about to hit ground. quetzalcoatl was cracked.
Chapter end

HuH? LovE KePt hEr alive?
Ngl, I kinda feel like I missed the part where Free and Shun made this ultimate connection that somehow allows her to transcend death. Even if, this may be really picky, but I feel there should be a bit more reason to it just being love.

Now for a realistic problem the punctuation is pretty off makes it hard to read you see what I mean?

---

Brave Valkyrie is my favorite bey, and Valt is my favorite character even if he's a bit overrated.

I know it's a different quetzalcoatl.

---

Chapter 17 revenge for shun/thank everyone
Freehun get up you can't die on me now.
Shun looks at free.
Shun:thank ... You free for being at my side.
Free checks shun's pulse.
Free:shun wake up please. I can't lose you again. Shunnnnnn!
Akira and Alice come rushing towards shun's body
Akira bursts into tears
Akira:shun please don't die. I need you.
Alice:shun get up. Don't die on me I need your help.
Alyssa:she is dead I guess her body could not handle maidens recollection.
Shun:I won't go down easy.
Shun stands up.
Shun:thank God maidens barrier. Kept the full impact of the blast from hitting my body.
Free:shun your back
Free hugs shun
Free:I thought you were dead.
Shun:my love kept me alive free. It's you who kept me alive.
Maiden:shun your alive. Let's go battle Alyssa.
Shun:maiden it's time that I refuse to battle. Maiden let's use the forbidden technique
A light shines from shun
Shun:let's go maiden. Maidens darkness fusion.
Shun's earring glows blue.
Shun:alright.
3 2 1 go shoot.
Free pushs shun aside.
Free:sorry shun. Go fafnir.
Fafnir hits quetzalcoatl
Alyssa:go quetzalcoatl darkness collection
A big burst of energy makes wind move really fast.
Shun:free be careful.
Alyssa:pure turbo
quetzalcoatl shines yellow.
Free:fafnir mirage claw.
quetzalcoatl hits fafnir into the air. A random bey hits fafnir back into play.
Shun :I am not gonna let you lose free.
Shun breaths heavily as her wounds bleed badly.
Free:shun. Arghhhhhhh fafnir mirage upper
Fafnir knocks quetzalcoatl into the air.
Shun:you did it.
Shun laughs then collapses. Maiden is knocked out next to shun's body.
Free:burst now fafnir hits quetzalcoatl as it was about to hit ground. quetzalcoatl was cracked.
Chapter end

HuH? LovE KePt hEr alive?
Ngl, I kinda feel like I missed the part where Free and Shun made this ultimate connection that somehow allows her to transcend death. Even if, this may be really picky, but I feel there should be a bit more reason to it just being love.

Now for a realistic problem the punctuation is pretty off makes it hard to read you see what I mean?

Plot armor be like lol (jk jk don’t kill me)

---

“He sees you” 

I know it's a different quetzalcoatl.

---

Chapter 17 revenge for shun/thank everyone
Freehun get up you can't die on me now.
Shun looks at free.
Shun:thank ... You free for being at my side.
Free checks shun's pulse.
Free:shun wake up please. I can't lose you again. Shunnnnnn!
Akira and Alice come rushing towards shun's body
Akira bursts into tears
Akira:shun please don't die. I need you.
Alice:shun get up. Don't die on me I need your help.
Alyssa:she is dead I guess her body could not handle maidens recollection.
Shun:I won't go down easy.
Shun stands up.
Shun:thank God maidens barrier. Kept the full impact of the blast from hitting my body.
Free:shun your back
Free hugs shun
Free:I thought you were dead.
Shun:my love kept me alive free. It's you who kept me alive.
Maiden:shun your alive. Let's go battle Alyssa.
Shun:maiden it's time that I refuse to battle. Maiden let's use the forbidden technique
A light shines from shun
Shun:let's go maiden. Maidens darkness fusion.
Shun's earring glows blue.
Shun:alright.
3 2 1 go shoot.
Free pushs shun aside.
Free:sorry shun. Go fafnir.
Fafnir hits quetzalcoatl
Alyssa:go quetzalcoatl darkness collection
A big burst of energy makes wind move really fast.
Shun:free be careful.
Alyssa:pure turbo
quetzalcoatl shines yellow.
Free:fafnir mirage claw.
quetzalcoatl hits fafnir into the air. A random bey hits fafnir back into play.
Shun :I am not gonna let you lose free.
Shun breaths heavily as her wounds bleed badly.
Free:shun. Arghhhhhhh fafnir mirage upper
Fafnir knocks quetzalcoatl into the air.
Shun:you did it.
Shun laughs then collapses. Maiden is knocked out next to shun's body.
Free:burst now fafnir hits quetzalcoatl as it was about to hit ground. quetzalcoatl was cracked.
Chapter end

HuH? LovE KePt hEr alive?
Ngl, I kinda feel like I missed the part where Free and Shun made this ultimate connection that somehow allows her to transcend death. Even if, this may be really picky, but I feel there should be a bit more reason to it just being love.

Now for a realistic problem the punctuation is pretty off makes it hard to read you see what I mean?

It's just shun wants to go her limit to help free in the beyblade tournament aka legends festival. Also there is a flash back in the last chapter will explain how much shun loves free and their connection.

---

Creator/owner of beyblade burst apocalypse.
Maiden will awaken and destroy genesis once more!
i have returned

HuH? LovE KePt hEr alive?
Ngl, I kinda feel like I missed the part where Free and Shun made this ultimate connection that somehow allows her to transcend death. Even if, this may be really picky, but I feel there should be a bit more reason to it just being love.

Now for a realistic problem the punctuation is pretty off makes it hard to read you see what I mean?

Plot armor be like lol (jk jk don’t kill me)

Plot armor at its peak

Plot armor be like lol (jk jk don’t kill me)

Plot armor at its peak

Shun is gonna come back for right now. she is dying but you will see how she will come back lol

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Creator/owner of beyblade burst apocalypse.
Maiden will awaken and destroy genesis once more!
i have returned

ya know i started reading on page 8 fsr, and i just realized, that, if you are shun...


you want to marry free or gwyn and be shu's sister? this is a joke btw

also a good plot will make a bit(a bit) of sense in the middle of the story, so congrats, i kind got what was going on(which is actually a pretty big accomplishment, dont take the wrong way). however, this show is giving me vampire knights vibes. i dont like vampire knights. plot, 10/10, grammar, 7/10, dialogue, 6/10. i might actually try to read the rest of the story, but for now, im so-so about it.

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emotional DaMAgE

Plot: 7.5/10
Grammar Punctuation: 4/10
Dialogue: 8/10
Overall opinion: 6/10

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Brave Valkyrie is my favorite bey, and Valt is my favorite character even if he's a bit overrated.

Plot: 7.5/10
Grammar Punctuation: 4/10
Dialogue: 8/10
Overall opinion: 6/10

Rip shun kurenai

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Creator/owner of beyblade burst apocalypse.
Maiden will awaken and destroy genesis once more!
i have returned

Plot: 7.5/10
Grammar Punctuation: 4/10
Dialogue: 8/10
Overall opinion: 6/10

Rip shun kurenai

Rip Kobe Bryant

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“He sees you” 

Rip shun kurenai

Rip Kobe Bryant

If your gonna spam that then leave my fanfic thread. Please use this thread to discuss about this fanfic

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Creator/owner of beyblade burst apocalypse.
Maiden will awaken and destroy genesis once more!
i have returned

Rip Kobe Bryant

If your gonna spam that then leave my fanfic thread. Please use this thread to discuss about this fanfic

Disrespecting Kobe we now are. GreenK9148 we got him

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“He sees you” 

If your gonna spam that then leave my fanfic thread. Please use this thread to discuss about this fanfic

Disrespecting Kobe we now are. GreenK9148 we got him

I didn't even disrespecting him you put that in my testing thread also for maiden. So you are considered spamming.

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Creator/owner of beyblade burst apocalypse.
Maiden will awaken and destroy genesis once more!
i have returned