Your welcome for the support beansworth

---

Oh I started a new page again

Man, your good at starting new pages

---

Currently writing Beyblade Burst: Mythic Burst and Beyblade X: Spark
"Open your mind, before your mouth!" -Motionless in White
"People fear what they don't understand!" -Motionless in White
"What will I have left when even the hurt is gone." -Bad Omens

It’s kinda weird

---

So when does the next mystical chapter come out

Um Idk, after my school work today, I'm going to skip to 16 and work on it. It shouldn't take too long, and I also want to try and post Odyssey Chapter 2, but it depends if i get time to work on Odyssey, so probably around noon maybe? Today, I want to get back to Chapter 24

---

Okay so, I probably won't have Chapter 16 up tonight.

---

Um Idk, after my school work today, I'm going to skip to 16 and work on it. It shouldn't take too long, and I also want to try and post Odyssey Chapter 2, but it depends if i get time to work on Odyssey, so probably around noon maybe? Today, I want to get back to Chapter 24

---

Okay so, I probably won't have Chapter 16 up tonight.

Wow, I call myself a fanfiction writer, I'm going to get Chapter 16 up, also what do you guys think Irene thinks of Keith?

---

Chapter 16!


Chapter 16: Battle Royale! Finn Mizuno!

Valt: “Well, now I have news! Once we return to main land, Japan. You guys will all have a battle royale!”
Keith: “Let’s go! I can battle everyone!”
Keith waved goodbye to Lui, Drum, Bell and Phoebe.
Lui: “That guy, he’s interesting.”
Drum: “Your right! I can’t wait to battle him!”
Bell gripped Belial, and walked to his cabin.
Bell: “Time for an upgrade, Belial!”
The ship landed and everyone got off, Irene had something on her mind.
Shu, and everyone stood there, and Baki and Keith ran to each other.
Keith: “Baki, how was your training?”
Baki: “My defense has improved, but how was Lui’s training!?”
Keith: “It was sick! Van had appeared, but Lui beat him.”
Valt began walking and everyone followed him, up to the Battle Royale Stadium.
Valt: “Here it is!”
Everyone got ready when Shu called out.
Shu: “Hey that’s a no go, a storm is rolling in, everyone go back to yours houses.”
Everyone ran home, and they wouldn’t be blading today, due to the huge storm that had brewed.
Keith sat on the couch with Irene watching a baking show, the two were trying to bing watch all of “Europe’s Bakeoff!”
Irene: “Hey Keith, could I ask you something?”
Keith: “Sure, what is it?”
Irene looked away, while blushing and said.
Irene: “Keith, I like you.”
Keith: “What?”
Irene was super red, and Keith was blushing.
Irene: “I said, I like you, like love you.”
Keith looked at Irene, and her face was red.
Keith: “Wait, your saying, you like me?”
Irene got off the couch and sat next to Keith.
Irene: “Yes, I love you.”
Keith’s mind went blank and he thought about his feelings for Irene.
Keith: “Hey Irene.”
Irene: “Yeah?”
Keith: “I love you too.”
Irene blushed and jumped on top of Keith hugging him.
Inside of a warehouse, two kids stood there, one beyblading and the other watching him.
???: “Go Shoot!”
???: “Finn, someone’s coming!”
Finn: “Fuyuko, get behind me!”
The white-haired boy walked in, and said.
War: “Hey Finn, let’s battle.”
Finn: “How do you know my name?”
War: “I have a insider.”
War put Warrior onto his launcher, and Finn put Pisces onto his launcher.
Both: “3! 2! 1!”
Both: “Go Shoot!”

Chapter 17-Preview!

War: "Now, Warrior!"
Finn: "Thermic Drive!"
The storm doesn't let up, but two bladers continue to battle!
Keith: "Next time on Beyblade Burst: Mystical! Chapter 17: Thermic Pisces! Thermic Drive!

@Hollowmind8 Next chapter for Finn!

---

Currently writing Beyblade Burst: Mythic Burst and Beyblade X: Spark
"Open your mind, before your mouth!" -Motionless in White
"People fear what they don't understand!" -Motionless in White
"What will I have left when even the hurt is gone." -Bad Omens

I'm going to work on Chapter 17 today, and release it.

---

Currently writing Beyblade Burst: Mythic Burst and Beyblade X: Spark
"Open your mind, before your mouth!" -Motionless in White
"People fear what they don't understand!" -Motionless in White
"What will I have left when even the hurt is gone." -Bad Omens

Can’t wait for chapter 19

That's when basically every oc is introduced

---

Currently writing Beyblade Burst: Mythic Burst and Beyblade X: Spark
"Open your mind, before your mouth!" -Motionless in White
"People fear what they don't understand!" -Motionless in White
"What will I have left when even the hurt is gone." -Bad Omens

That’s true but I can’t wait to see mine and other people’s creations

I'll try to get Chapter 19 out as soon as possible

---

I wanted to ask, what do you guys think I could improve? Like rate these 5 things for me, if you have the time, thanks.

Story-1/10

Plot-1/10

Characters-1/10

Length-1/10

Posting-1/10

If you could do this, even just quickly, that would help a bunch, I want to improve on Mystical now.

---

Currently writing Beyblade Burst: Mythic Burst and Beyblade X: Spark
"Open your mind, before your mouth!" -Motionless in White
"People fear what they don't understand!" -Motionless in White
"What will I have left when even the hurt is gone." -Bad Omens

Everything is awesome

I'll try to get Chapter 19 out as soon as possible

---

I wanted to ask, what do you guys think I could improve? Like rate these 5 things for me, if you have the time, thanks.

Story-1/10

Plot-1/10

Characters-1/10

Length-1/10

Posting-1/10

If you could do this, even just quickly, that would help a bunch, I want to improve on Mystical now.

Honestly, I'm bad at giving reviews, but here goes:



Story: 4/10, Well... you cannot understand the whole story before it's conclusion, so I'll rate it for what I have seen so far. The progression of the story is very fast, like whole tournament in just three chapters is not really a good thing and also battles are kinda.... decent, maybe try to add more details.


Plot: 5/10, The protag is Keith, but we don't know anything much about him, where he is from or what is the reason for him to battle? (Other than having fun in battle like what or who motivated him?) and also it seems like Van is the antagonist, maybe.... give him a reason for being so harsh? If it's because he's corrupted by his bey then well it doesn't makes sense in terms of my understanding of resonance and corruption stuff. The bey isn't responsible for it's owner corruption, the owner is the one who is willing to shares the pain. Beyblade follows on his owner's commands on what they want or they are the personification of the blader's current emotional state. Maybe, backstory for both the protag and antag make the story interesting.


Characters: 6/10: I'll be honest with you, dialouges and amount of details brings out the characters to life which this fic lacks a lot.

It also feels like weird how Valt and Free decided to help them with no reason specified.


Length: 6/10, Some chapters are short and some chapters have decent length. Consider adding space btw the texts, it makes it easier to read.


Posting: I don't know what you meant by this, but I think you're talking about release dates of your chapters, if that's the case then, this isn't any kind of thing which needs a rating, take your time and don't rush.


Total: 21/40 (More than 50%, it's definetly better than my school grades lo), Hmmm, it's not bad considering it's your first fic. Try to add more details and extend the length of your chapters as well.


Note: I'm not much of a pro in making fanfictions as well so I can somewhat relate with you and hey it's your first fic, so it's understandable.

I'll try to get Chapter 19 out as soon as possible

---

I wanted to ask, what do you guys think I could improve? Like rate these 5 things for me, if you have the time, thanks.

Story-1/10

Plot-1/10

Characters-1/10

Length-1/10

Posting-1/10

If you could do this, even just quickly, that would help a bunch, I want to improve on Mystical now.

Honestly, I'm bad at giving reviews, but here goes:



Story: 4/10, Well... you cannot understand the whole story before it's conclusion, so I'll rate it for what I have seen so far. The progression of the story is very fast, like whole tournament in just three chapters is not really a good thing and also battles are kinda.... decent, maybe try to add more details.


Plot: 5/10, The protag is Keith, but we don't know anything much about him, where he is from or what is the reason for him to battle? (Other than having fun in battle like what or who motivated him?) and also it seems like Van is the antagonist, maybe.... give him a reason for being so harsh? If it's because he's corrupted by his bey then well it doesn't makes sense in terms of my understanding of resonance and corruption stuff. The bey isn't responsible for it's owner corruption, the owner is the one who is willing to shares the pain. Beyblade follows on his owner's commands on what they want or they are the personification of the blader's current emotional state. Maybe, backstory for both the protag and antag make the story interesting.


Characters: 6/10: I'll be honest with you, dialouges and amount of details brings out the characters to life which this fic lacks a lot.

It also feels like weird how Valt and Free decided to help them with no reason specified.


Length: 6/10, Some chapters are short and some chapters have decent length. Consider adding space btw the texts, it makes it easier to read.


Posting: I don't know what you meant by this, but I think you're talking about release dates of your chapters, if that's the case then, this isn't any kind of thing which needs a rating, take your time and don't rush.


Total: 21/40 (More than 50%, it's definetly better than my school grades lo), Hmmm, it's not bad considering it's your first fic. Try to add more details and extend the length of your chapters as well.


Note: I'm not much of a pro in making fanfictions as well so I can somewhat relate with you and hey it's your first fic, so it's understandable.

For Van's backstory, I did have Chapter 24 for his backstory, but I lost it a week ago, I'll work on character's backstories. Your right about Valt and Free though, their reason is that they discovered Keith and the gang, through the news and seeing Keith and Van's fight. Thanks!

---

Currently writing Beyblade Burst: Mythic Burst and Beyblade X: Spark
"Open your mind, before your mouth!" -Motionless in White
"People fear what they don't understand!" -Motionless in White
"What will I have left when even the hurt is gone." -Bad Omens

I'll try to get Chapter 19 out as soon as possible

---

I wanted to ask, what do you guys think I could improve? Like rate these 5 things for me, if you have the time, thanks.

Story-1/10

Plot-1/10

Characters-1/10

Length-1/10

Posting-1/10

If you could do this, even just quickly, that would help a bunch, I want to improve on Mystical now.

.
So let's do it, Warning: I have little empathy, sorry if I sound rude or anything.
(Edit: Me and Kiryu having almost the same opinion, noice)

Spoiler (Click to View)

Story-5/10
Story is alright I guess, not much going on but not much happening. Still to early to have a definitive answer. Pacing is definitely something you might need to work on while writing. See "lenght" for that.
.
Plot-5/10
I think the plot goes around Van and his edgy phase. Not much to claim here since, well, the thing is not on it's Max yet, so I'm giving it half
.
Characters-6/10
The character dynamics here are funny, but the dialog is quite cropped and the pacing is quite fast on their feelings.
.
Length-4/10
About length, they are pretty short imo. Ch2 and 5 from Mystical are the longest ones iirc, and they still fall quite short. Now that doesn't mean you need to add more stuff into the story, that just means you have to space things out a little bit, maybe even adding more description text (I will put it in {}), and I also recommend adding little details on () by the name. Here's an example (the scene is end of the newest chapter, I would rewrite the whole thing but I ended up only doing this):
(even my example has room for improvement)

Spoiler (Click to View)

{Inside of a warehouse, two kids stood there. One was launching his bey at the stadium while the other watched.}
???: “Go Shoot!”
{The bey lands in the stadium and goes around. The other kid looks through the window and sees a human-like silhouette outside}
??? (Confused and Worried): “Finn, something scary is outside!”
Finn (confused): "What? What do you mean by "scary"?"
{Finn grabs his bey and goes near the other kid, he also sees the figure outside}
Finn: “Oh, Uhh... Fuyuko, just... act naturally”
{A white-haired boy walked in}
??? (with a little, yet ominous smile): “Hey Finn, and Fuyuko. You two can call me War.”
Finn (more confused): “How do you even know our names? And should I know you?”
{War would laugh a little}
War: “Isn't that obvious? I have a insider. Now, I challenge you for a battle.”
{War put Warrior onto his launcher}
Finn (with a forced grin): "Let's go then, big guy. But aren't we going to check each other's beys before?"
War (with a more serious expression): "Do you think I don't know your tricks? I'd much rather prefer not being predicted"
Fuyumo (scared): "W-What's going on Finn?"
{Finn gives a reassuring pat on Fuyumo's head and puts Pisces onto his launcher while walking to the arena}
Finn (concentrated): "That's a good question"
Both: “3! 2! 1! Go Shoot!”

.
Posting-???/10
Not sure what you mean by that. If it is how often you release, I don't care that much. Just always take your time.

.
TL;DR: Improvement can be done. But that’s your first fic, you still don't have that much experience yet. I hope this helps.

---

Rank 0th means I'm better than 1st

I'll try to get Chapter 19 out as soon as possible

---

I wanted to ask, what do you guys think I could improve? Like rate these 5 things for me, if you have the time, thanks.

Story-1/10

Plot-1/10

Characters-1/10

Length-1/10

Posting-1/10

If you could do this, even just quickly, that would help a bunch, I want to improve on Mystical now.

.
So let's do it, Warning: I have little empathy, sorry if I sound rude or anything.
(Edit: Me and Kiryu having almost the same opinion, noice)

Spoiler (Click to View)

Story-5/10
Story is alright I guess, not much going on but not much happening. Still to early to have a definitive answer. Pacing is definitely something you might need to work on while writing. See "lenght" for that.
.
Plot-5/10
I think the plot goes around Van and his edgy phase. Not much to claim here since, well, the thing is not on it's Max yet, so I'm giving it half
.
Characters-6/10
The character dynamics here are funny, but the dialog is quite cropped and the pacing is quite fast on their feelings.
.
Length-4/10
About length, they are pretty short imo. Ch2 and 5 from Mystical are the longest ones iirc, and they still fall quite short. Now that doesn't mean you need to add more stuff into the story, that just means you have to space things out a little bit, maybe even adding more description text (I will put it in {}), and I also recommend adding little details on () by the name. Here's an example (the scene is end of the newest chapter, I would rewrite the whole thing but I ended up only doing this):
(even my example has room for improvement)

Spoiler (Click to View)

{Inside of a warehouse, two kids stood there. One was launching his bey at the stadium while the other watched.}
???: “Go Shoot!”
{The bey lands in the stadium and goes around. The other kid looks through the window and sees a human-like silhouette outside}
??? (Confused and Worried): “Finn, something scary is outside!”
Finn (confused): "What? What do you mean by "scary"?"
{Finn grabs his bey and goes near the other kid, he also sees the figure outside}
Finn: “Oh, Uhh... Fuyuko, just... act naturally”
{A white-haired boy walked in}
??? (with a little, yet ominous smile): “Hey Finn, and Fuyuko. You two can call me War.”
Finn (more confused): “How do you even know our names? And should I know you?”
{War would laugh a little}
War: “Isn't that obvious? I have a insider. Now, I challenge you for a battle.”
{War put Warrior onto his launcher}
Finn (with a forced grin): "Let's go then, big guy. But aren't we going to check each other's beys before?"
War (with a more serious expression): "Do you think I don't know your tricks? I'd much rather prefer not being predicted"
Fuyumo (scared): "W-What's going on Finn?"
{Finn gives a reassuring pat on Fuyumo's head and puts Pisces onto his launcher while walking to the arena}
Finn (concentrated): "That's a good question"
Both: “3! 2! 1! Go Shoot!”

.
Posting-???/10
Not sure what you mean by that. If it is how often you release, I don't care that much. Just always take your time.

.
TL;DR: Improvement can be done. But that’s your first fic, you still don't have that much experience yet. I hope this helps.

Writing is something I need to work on so, Chapter 17 will be my improved one. Thanks for everything!

---

I'll post Chapter 17 tomorrow, hope it's better then the other chapters!

---

Currently writing Beyblade Burst: Mythic Burst and Beyblade X: Spark
"Open your mind, before your mouth!" -Motionless in White
"People fear what they don't understand!" -Motionless in White
"What will I have left when even the hurt is gone." -Bad Omens

Chapter 17, with improved writing!
In the spoiler

Spoiler (Click to View)

Warrior and Pisces landed in the stadium, and Fuyuko was shaking.
Fuyuko(Concerned): “B..Big Bro, what’s happening, who is this War guy, and why does he know us?”
Finn reassuringly grabbed her hand smiling.
Finn: “I’ll make sure we’re fine.”
Finn’s Mind: “No matter what, I’ll protect you Fuyuko! War can’t get us worked up.”
War: “Hm? You’ll be fine?”
War smiled disturbingly and yelled out.
War(Menacingly): “I’ll shatter any and all hope you have! Warrior, hear me!”
Warrior’s avatar awakened, and entered Sync with War.
Fuyuko cried out, as thunder struck near by.
Finn(Scared): “Alright, come on! Pisces, let’s take him down!”
Warrior slammed into Pisces, but Pisces refused to move.
Finn(Calmly): “Pisces, can withstand any attack! The heads are big for impact, while the back to tail is thinner, making your attacks worth nothing!”
War(Angry): “My attacks are worth what? Never heard that word!”
Pisces stood it’s ground, while Warrior kept attacking it, not letting up.
War grit his teeth, and clenched his fist and screamed out.
War(Pissed): “Warrior! Immortal Blow!”
Warrior shot and hit Pisces, and moved it from the center of the stadium.
Finn(Confident): “Pisces, he’s given us our chance!”
Pisces drift on it’s Twirl Driver, and the avatar awakened.
The shark flew up and roared out.
Finn: “Now! Thermic Crush!”
Pisces hit the angled part of Twirl, and attacked Warrior.
War(Mad): “Warrior, burst Pisces! It’s just some dumb Stamina Type, not like our Balance Type!”
Finn(Slightly Mad): “Stamina Type’s aren’t bad, cause mine is the best!”
Pisces hit Warrior, striking it into the air, and bursting it.
Finn(Amazed): “Let’s go alright, Pisces!”
War(Pissed): “No Warrior!”
Warrior’s parts hit the ground and Fuyuko smiled.
Fuyuko(Happier): “Finn, you did it!”
War angered, yelled.
War(Angry): “Shut up! Your both weak!”
Fuyuko cried, and Finn hugged her.
Finn(Mad): “Don’t yell at her! She’s just a sweet girl!”
War turned and walked out of the warehouse, the rain still pouring down.
Finn grabbed Fuyuko, and the two left the warehouse, looking for the one and only Keith Shadis, who was all over the news.
Keith launched Kratos, and Bahamut hit the stadium floor as well.
Baki(Excited): “Now, Bahamut! Let’s not lose!”
Bahamut parried every attack from Kratos.
A boat cut through the sea, with two European Folks on it, but also a Brazilian Girl and a American Boy stood on the deck.
???: “The waves are high today, ain’t that right dad?”
Dad(Sleepy): “Sure, but we’re looking for Keith, remember? Paige?”
Paige(Annoyed): “Of course, get Keith, return home.”
The Brazilian Girl stood on the very front of the ship, and the American Boy sat on the top.
Keith(Amazed): “Wow Baki, you’ve gotten so much stronger!”
Paige: “Keith, does he really think he can just run off, and not do his duty as the Queen’s grandson?”
Keith(Synced): “Go now, Kratos! Destruction Axe!”
Dad: “Once we find him, he’ll quit Beyblade, and become the next Prince.”
Keith(Happy): “I can’t wait for Valt and Van’s title match!”

Chapter 18: Paige Shadis! Kidnapped Persephone

---

Currently writing Beyblade Burst: Mythic Burst and Beyblade X: Spark
"Open your mind, before your mouth!" -Motionless in White
"People fear what they don't understand!" -Motionless in White
"What will I have left when even the hurt is gone." -Bad Omens

Wait a minute Keith has a sister and his grandmother is the queen of some random country

Wait a minute Keith has a sister and his grandmother is the queen of some random country

Yes, and his grandmother is basically Queen Elizabeth, from Europe. Basically his grandmother is the queen of Europe, and his sister is older then him and kinda dont like him

---

Currently writing Beyblade Burst: Mythic Burst and Beyblade X: Spark
"Open your mind, before your mouth!" -Motionless in White
"People fear what they don't understand!" -Motionless in White
"What will I have left when even the hurt is gone." -Bad Omens

This seems amazing

Next Chapter is done.

Spoiler (Click to View)

Chapter 18: Paige Shadis!? Kidnapped Persephone!

The boat finally landed, after 5 hours on the sea, Paige and her dad stepped off and walked to the little town in front of them.
Paige heard a familiar voice coming from the left.
Keith(Excited): “Alright Kratos! Together we win! Destruction Shoot!”
{Kratos began barraging Bahamut, but Bahamut wouldn’t budge.}
Baki(Confident): “Bahamut, we’ve increased our defense, it’s time for Dynamic Roar!”
{Bahamut parried Kratos, and Kratos began to lose spin, Keith was getting anxious.}
Keith(Anxious): “Kratos, we won’t lose! Kratos, awaken!”
Kratos’ avatar awakened, it called out.
Kratos: “Keith, let’s do it!”
Keith(Hopeful): “God-like Sync, and Destruction Axe!”
{Kratos entered Sync with Keith, and hit Bahamut, clicking it twice.}
Baki: “You messed up Keith, Dynamic Shield!”
{Bahamut transformed into a perfect circle, and absorbed the attack by Kratos.}
{Kratos then ran out of spin, and Irene called out.}
Irene: “Bahamut with a Spin Finish, one point to Baki.”
Keith grabbed Kratos, and looked at Baki.
Keith(Curious): “Hey Baki, what is your relation to Boa, anyway?”
Baki: “He’s my cousin.”
Keith turned and saw two familiar people, walking towards him.
Keith(Scared): “Guys, let’s get going.”
Irene: “Why Keith, the battles were just getting started.”
Paige(Annoyed): “Because, his older sister, and father have come for him.”
Irene and Baki looked over, and saw a tall girl, with long blonde hair, a red dress on, and piercing red eyes.
Paige: “Keith, is the grandson of the Queen of Britain, and he’s run away to this town to follow his dream of Beyblading, and not his royal duty as the next prince.”
Baki(Confused): “Keith, why didn’t you tell us?”
Irene(Confused): “Yeah Keith? You’re a prince?”
Keith(Scared): “Well, I didn’t tell you guys, because.”
Paige(Irritated): “Enough, it doesn’t matter who Keith was, he’s the new prince. He is no longer a Blader.”
Their father grabbed Keith’s arm, and he dropped Kratos.
Keith: “No Kratos!”
Dad: “Come on, Keith. Forget Beyblade, and follow your duties.”
Paige turned and said.
Paige(Calm): “Forgot about Keith, he’ll never return. And if he does, it’ll be as the Prince.”
Keith followed his father, as he had no choice.
Irene was on the verge of tears and called out.
Irene(Sad): “Keith, you can’t leave! What about us, what about Beyblade, what about our relationship?”
Keith(Lifeless): “Forget it all, I need to do my duties.”
Baki(Annoyed): “What happened to the outgoing Keith? The one who would battle everyday without stop, and battle against Van?”
Keith(Lifeless): “He’s gone, I’m Keith Philip Shadis, and I’m the next King of Britain.”
Baki remembered when he read a book with his late mother.
Young Baki(Happy): “Mom, what’s a Royal Duel?”
Baki’s Mom: “It’s when a commoner or next-to-be Prince or Princess, evokes a duel, and the challenger picks a sport to battle on.”
Young Baki: “So your saying, I could evoke a Roya Duel with Mr. Hirohiko?”
Baki’s Mom: “Not quite, dear. They have to be royal blooded for a Royal Duel.”
Baki(Confident): “I, Baki Alcazaba, evoke a Royal Deal against Paige Shadis, and the sport I choose is Beyblade!”
Paige, Keith and their father turned.
Baki grabbed Bahamut and yelled.
Baki: “A single burst match, whoever’s bey bursts first loses! If I win, Keith will stay and not become the next King!”
Paige(Annoyed): “And if I win, Keith becomes King, and you two will never leave Japan, or participate in another Beyblade Tournament ever!”
Keith(Scared): “Baki, don’t! I’m not worth that!”
Baki(Confident): “It’s a deal!”
Everyone walked to the bey stadium, Baki and Paige checked out each other’s beys.
Baki-{Paige’s Bey, it has five blades that have rubber as the only contact point, it’s armor features two metal burst stoppers. The disc is the same as me and Keith’s, and the driver has a spring-loaded base, that surrounds a sharp metal tip. It seems that this bey is hard to knock over.}
Baki and Paige readied their launchers.
Both: “3! 2! 1! Go Shoot!”
{Bahamut and Persephone hit the stadium floor, and Bahamut took center, while Persephone spun around the outer ridge, with it’s metal sharp tip, friction wasn’t a worry.}
Paige(Annoyed): “Take him down, Persephone!”
{Persephone dashed toward the center and slammed into Bahamut, and barely moved it.}
Baki(Confident): “You think sheer force will move or even burst Bahamut? Because it won’t work on me and Bahamut!”
{Bahamut then drift on Atmoic’s outer ridge and shot towards Persephone.}
Baki(Confident): “Dynamic Crush!”
Bahamut slammed into Persephone and burst it.
Paige(Annoyed): “What the, how did I lose?”
Baki(Amazed): “I won, Keith’s staying!”
Keith’s father stood there in disbelief, and he yelled to Paige.
Keith’s Father: “Paige, you failure! I always knew Keith and Nora were better then you!”
Paige fell to her knees, tears in her eyes. Baki and Irene stood there, and couldn’t even understand the situation unfolding.
Keith(Annoyed): “Shut up! Paige is special too! She’s the only sibling who got pure A’s and can keep us under control!”
Keith’s Father(Pissed): “Boy! You were supposed to be the Prince and you left! You have no right to speak up to me!”
Paige was crying, Keith and Nora always cared for her and never talked down to her. Keith and Paige remembered one day, the day Nora went missing, and their mother left for Japan.
At this time, the Queen was preparing to choose whether Keith or Nora would be the next ruler of Europe.
Young Keith(Excited): “Big Sis, can you lift me up next!”
Nora: “Yeah, Keith.”
Paige closed her drawing notebook, and walked over to Keith, and Nora.
Nora: “Well Paige, you decided on which art school, your going to?”
Paige(Excited): “Not yet sis, Father still wants me to be a teacher, but teaching is dumb and boring.”
Nora hugged Paige and said.
Nora: “Don’t listen to him, Paige. Remember me and Mother support you.”
Paige blushed and said.
Paige(Happy): “Thanks big sis!”
{She turned and skipped down the hall, while Nora walked with Keith.}
Young Keith: “Hey Nora?”
Nora: “Yeah Keith?”
Young Keith(Confused): “Why has Father brought three guys to the palace?”
Nora: “Their guys, who Father thinks I should marry, ever though I don’t like them.”
Young Keith: “Then why not tell him?”
Nora: “I can’t say why I won’t.”
Nora and Keith walked down the hall, and their mother walked up to them.
Keith’s Mother: “Hello Nora, and Keith. I assume your both doing good.”
Nora smiled and hugged her mother, and teared up.
Nora(Happy): “Mom, I’m so glad, your back!”
Keith hugged his Mom’s leg and said.
Young Keith: “Mommy! Mommy! Your home!”
Their mother smiled and hugged the two, she barely was at home due to her royal duties. Nora had seen their mother the most, while Young Keith had seen his own mother about ten times.
Their mother called for Paige and everyone stood with her.
Keith’s Mom: “You three, I have news.”
Nora: “Don’t tell me your having a fourth child.”
Keith’s Mom: “Heaven’s no, the news is, I’ll be leaving the Royal Family and moving to Japan.”
Nora and her siblings gasped, Nora began crying.
Paige began shaking and Keith began balling.
Nora(Crying): “But mom! You can’t! It’s so hard here without you.”
Paige’s mind was repeating what their mother said, her hands were shaking uncontrollably, she couldn’t ever muster a single letter, not much less a word.
Their mother pulled them all into a hug and said.
Keith’s Mom: “I’m sorry, but your father…doesn’t suit me anymore. I wish I could take you all with but, he would hit me if I tried.”
She got up and turned, exiting the room.
Nora ran to her room, crying. Paige stood there, still shaking, and Keith was on the ground, balling.
A private jet took off, and Nora stood outside watching it fly away.
Nora(Sad): “Mother, I want to follow you.”
Paige’s memory ended, as their father walked over to her and clenched his fist.
He went to punch her, but Keith held his fist.
Keith(Angry): “Return to Europe, and tell Dearest Grandmother, that me, Paige and Nora, will never ever be royality.”
Their father turned and returned to the dock.
Paige got up and Keith took her hand.
Keith: “Paige, you can live with me, and one day, we’ll find Mother and Nora!”
Paige with tears in her eyes, hugged Keith.

Chapter 19: New Bladers! Vahalla!

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Currently writing Beyblade Burst: Mythic Burst and Beyblade X: Spark
"Open your mind, before your mouth!" -Motionless in White
"People fear what they don't understand!" -Motionless in White
"What will I have left when even the hurt is gone." -Bad Omens

10/10 Keith is a amazing brother

It’s been dead for a bit

It’s been dead for a bit

We’re all waiting for the next chapter.

It’s been dead for a bit

It's not dead the last Chapter was literally Two Days ago. I'm sorry but we Fanfic Writers can't mass produce Chapters like we want to like snap, that'd make the job way less fun and the faster it takes to produce a Chapter the more likely that it won't be the Best Chapter. I'm not saying you're doing anything wrong but I'm just saying you shouldn't really be saying that the thread is dead because this could put Pressure on the Writer and trust me, when you're writing under pressure. The Chapters will not end up good and it'll just really make everyone unhappy. Again, not doing anything wrong just saying that you shouldn't say that this thread is dead if the last chapter was posted 2 Days Ago. If the Last Chapter was posted 3 Months Ago then you could say this I guess.

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The One Piece is the friends we made a long the way.

Sorry, I would be working on the next Chapter, but right now I got some Exams so I have to wait a little yet. I'll try my best to get the next Chapter out soon, but I also want to make sure that the chapter is good, as new OCs are in Unseen and Speedy yours have their own chapter intros.

TLR-Exams in High School are here, and Chapter should be soon

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Currently writing Beyblade Burst: Mythic Burst and Beyblade X: Spark
"Open your mind, before your mouth!" -Motionless in White
"People fear what they don't understand!" -Motionless in White
"What will I have left when even the hurt is gone." -Bad Omens

Hope you do well on your exams