-Previously DrigerMV
Funny quotes!:
“Just because you're not paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you."
“Cry me a river, build me a bridge, and do us all a favor and jump off of itâ€
Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in 'mother in law', they come out to 'Woman Hitler'?
Education is important, school however, is another matter.
You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?
Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us how to walk and talk, then the rest of our lives telling us to sit down and shut up.
Don't knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.
It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 muscles to smile, but only 4 muscles to reach out and slap someone.
Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.
So, if guns kill people, can I blame misspelled words on my pencil?
When Life gives you lemons, throw them back, because, I mean, really? Who likes lemons?
When Life gives you lemons, make grape juice, and sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it.
When Life gives you lemons, squirt them in Life's eye, and see how much Life likes lemons then.
What do you do when Life gives you lemonade?
Some people are alive today, simply because it is illegal to kill them.
I used all my sick days, so I called in dead...
If "the pen is mightier than the sword", how come "actions speak louder than words"?
Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.
If electricity comes from electrons, where do you think morality comes from?
Give a person a fish and feed them for a day, teach them how to use the internet and they won't bother you for weeks!
Before you critisize someone walk a mile in their shoes, that way you'll be a mile away and have their shoes!
The statistics of insanity is that 1 of every 4 people have a mental illness. Look at your three best friends, if they're okay, then it's you.
Don't worry about the world coming to an end today; its already tomorrow in Australia.
Kids are the future. Be afraid. Be very afraid.
Music is like candy: You throw away the (w)rappers.
The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.
Two things are infinite; the universe, and human stupidity... not so sure about the universe.
Do not take life too seriously; no one gets out alive.
Don't hit kids. No, seriously, they have guns now.
If your heart was really broken you'd be dead, so shut up.
Please: Don't throw your cigarette butt's on the floor, the cockroaches are getting cancer.
Warning: Trespassers will be shot, Survivors will be shot again.
If I throw a stick, will you go away?
If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.
Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
You say I'm not cool. Cool is just another word for cold. If I'm not cold then I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thank You for embracing it!
If you're gonna be two-faced, sweetie at least make one of them pretty.
Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning many and 'tics' as in the bloodsucking leeches?
You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You jump off a cliff, I laugh even harder.