Creating A Future [Beyblade Story][Over 1,000 Views!]

Poll: What needs to be fixed?

Nothing. Its Perfect!
61.11%
11
Dialogue. It seems bland.
16.67%
3
Narration. Give more details!
22.22%
4
Narration. Give less details.
0%
0
Everything. This story stinks.
0%
0
Total: 100% 18 vote(s)
The story takes place about five years before Zero-G and two years after Metal Fury/4D. After the Nemesis Incident, many bladers have given up Beyblading because of a fear that Nemesis will be reborn yet again. The majority of the few who remain no longer respect the WBBA's rules and follow their own code, keeping only the basics of Beyblade alive. The other part of those remaining Bladers who do follow the rules and fight fairly, are bullied and beaten by those who don't. There is a bigger danger than those who don't follow the rules though, and it's lurking around the corner! This is the story of the fight to create a bright future for Beyblade!
Part One: The Tournament
Chapter One: Recovery
Chapter Two: The Hunter's Trick
Chapter Three: Thief
Chapter Four: A Tournament?
Chapter Five: Preparations and Persuasions
Chapter Six: Creating a Future Begins!
Chapter Seven: Conclusion of the First Day
Chapter Eight: Killer Instinct
Chapter Nine: Semi-Finals!
Chapter Ten: The Daughter of Hades
Part Two: The Search
Chapter Eleven: What Do We Do Now?
Chapter 12: Broken
Chapter 13: New Developements
I like it! A lot. A couple of grammar mistakes, but keep going! I love your work.
Thank you, RagerBlade! That means a lot! And I'm going to review it again for grammar errors and fix those!
I gotta say, this is the best story on the WBO I've seen in awhile. If you can be consistent with chapter length and quality, you will have yourself one great story!
very good! just too much talking.
Ultramarine: Thanks! I'm going to try to keep the chapters long.

AZL: I'll try to get more of the story in and less dialogue.

Thank you all for reading!
Chapter Two is up now! I don't know if I'll be able to post tomorrow, so I worked extra hard tonight to put it up!
I tried to get rid of unnecessary dialogue, but some towards the end was needed to make sure that the characters "knew" what they were doing, if that makes any sense lol
I hope you all enjoy it!
Edit: I also tried to improve on the grammar in Chapter One. If anything else is wrong, please let me know! I love the help and the support, guys!
rsecond chpter is really good!
Chapter Three is up! I didn't think I'd be able to post today, but I found some wifi! Hope you enjoy!
Nice! Only thing is, the majority of characters have outclassed wheels like Killer and Flame, but Jon has something as powerful as Phantom? I dunno, I just find that a little strange.
But it's still great!
man this is awsome i felt like i was in the story keep up the awesomness
As the story gets deeper, I'll add some other characters with better metal wheels on their beys. I mainly wanted to emphasize the Blader Spirit of Ken and Beck.

Thank you, Chrisbey Maniac! It means a lot
man you are awesome when you are going to post the contniue of this awesome story pm me to read it plz
I try to update at least once a day. I'll pm you when chapter four is out!
Dude seriously that is the most awesome beyblade story I've read so far in my life.
Thank you very much!
Chapter Four is up! Thank you all for reading!
The whole Ginga thing is kinda cheesy, and the bit where you said that the DJs voice was clear, yet they couldn't pick up what he was saying was a bit contradictory, but still a good chapter!
Did I say voice? I meant his face lol And I agree about the Gingka thing, but I was trying to have a more original way for Chase to challenge Ken
Edit: I see how that part with DJ was confused. I'm going to fix it
Dude seriously that is the most awesome beyblade story I've read so far in my life.
I know it's hard to do but some more chapter length would be better but so far is an absolutely amazing story
I'll work on chapter length. They're taking about two pages in word already, but I'll shoot for three! Main problem will be time. It may take more than a day to complete a chapter
Chapter Five is up! I hope you all enjoy it! This chapter is a bit longer and, I think, has a bit more "flare". I hope you all enjoy! I may not be able to post tomorrow or Sunday, but I will still be working on the story, so on Monday, you may get up to three chapters (maybe more, maybe less)! I really hope you all enjoy what's cooking for the tournament! It's going to be BIG
I'm only 14 but I'm quite good at English and I like making stories so I want to help in any way I can... Just pm me so I know what to do for this story. It is actually really good. I think that the best part is the description during the battle, which is what was lacking a litle bit in the newest one between Jon and Dan.
I might need help, so I'll pm you when I get stuck or when I want to make it interesting.