Jesus can walk on water
Chuck Norris can swim through land

Chuck Norris is also a raging homophobe and political bigot.

Still think he's awesome?

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Chuck Norris ran around the world so fast he hit himself in the back. Yet Blader DJ did that as well, but high fived himself instead, lol

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lol this thread could become blader dj facts... but anyways

Chuck Norris can win connect four in three moves.
Chuck Norris can cut a saw with a wooden board.
Chuck Norris broke the periodic table because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
Chuck Norris has a myspace account....on facebook
The Guinness Book of World Records are things Chuck Norris wished not to take credit for.
Chuck Norris leaned on the "Tower of Pisa."
Chuck Norris jumped off a bridge into a river. The water didn't live much longer.......
and finally,
If you can read this sentence, thank a teacher. If you are still reading, thank Chuck Norris for allowing you to live.

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"In many ways, the work of a critic is easy. We risk very little, yet enjoy a position over those who offer up their work and their selves to our judgment. We thrive on negative criticism, which is fun to write and to read. But the bitter truth we critics must face, is that in the grand scheme of things, the average piece of junk is probably more meaningful than our criticism designating it so. But there are times when a critic truly risks something, and that is in the discovery and defense of the new. The world is often unkind to new talent, new creations. The new needs friends. Last night, I experienced something new: an extraordinary meal from a singularly unexpected source. To say that both the meal and its maker have challenged my preconceptions about fine cooking is a gross understatement. They have rocked me to my core. In the past, I have made no secret of my disdain for Chef Gusteau's famous motto, "Anyone can cook." But I realize, only now do I truly understand what he meant. Not everyone can become a great artist; but a great artist can come from anywhere."

-Anton Ego/Peter O'Toole (1932-2013)

Chuck Norris is also a raging homophobe and political bigot.

Still think he's awesome?

Spoiler (Click to View)

Everyone is a bigot, it's just a mater of whether or not you agree with him. If he was a homosexual bigot you wouldn't have posted anything.
"Moreover, if one is homophobic, that is, suffering from a phobia as one would suffer from claustrophobia, then the homophobe cannot help himself and is therefore suffering from a mental disorder, perhaps one that is the result of his genes. Consequently, calling someone homophobic is tantamount to making fun of the handicapped, unless of course the accuser is himself homophobic." - Frank Beckwith.

Now this really has nothing to do with "Chuck Norris facts" So I'm returning to the topic at hand.

Chuck Norris can speak Braille

Chuck Norris doesn't sleep, he waits.

Chuck Norris can delete the recyle bin.

There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars, that's why there are no signs of life.

Most cleaning agents claim they can kill 99.9% of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100% of what ever he wants.

Chuck Norris has the heart of a child. He keeps it in a little box.
Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death, he wins fair and square.

Spoiler (Click to View)

Everyone is a bigot, it's just a mater of whether or not you agree with him.

Spoiler (Click to View)

You're confusing prejudice with bigotry.

And I would make a Chuck Norris joke to make this post on topic, but I can't bring myself to do it. I just don't find most Chuck Norris jokes funny at all.

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戦う, 正義の 仮面ライダーV3!

A ghost prayed he wouldn't be haunted by Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris likes cats, and it's proven because he let them have 9 lives.

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You lost the game.

Spoiler (Click to View)

1. You can never win the game, you can only lose.
2. You lose when you think about it.
3. Once you lose, you must say "I lost".
4. Don't believe this is real? Google "You just lost the game" and see.
5. Google "the game" will just let you see a pic of some dude CALLED "The Game".
6. Spread the word.

When Nappa asked Vegeta what was Chuck Norris' power level, Vegeta Said " IT'S OVER 9000000000000000000000!

Chuck Norris can defeat all WWE Wrestlers at Once without touching them.

Chuck Norris can defeat Blader DJ at having Beyspirit.

Anyone can win in chess in four moves, Chuck Norris can defeat you in chess in one move.

Chuck Norris rickrolled Rick Astley one hundred times.

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Spoiler (Click to View)

My Youtube Channel
Credit goes to bladeruler for the avi and sig.
Pokemon White Friend Code : 3568 2442 4668
Name : Delta

Spoiler (Click to View)

You're confusing prejudice with bigotry.

And I would make a Chuck Norris joke to make this post on topic, but I can't bring myself to do it. I just don't find most Chuck Norris jokes funny at all.

Bigotry is a direct result of prejudice, everyone has prejudices they would never give up, therefore everyone is a bigot. It's actually better that way, if you are truly "open-minded" then you believe nothing. Less than third of the Chuck Norris jokes I have heard are actually funny.

chuck norris can beat anyone in beyblade with a storm capricorne
santa claus deliver gifts to kids chuck norris deliver gifts to santa
when chuck norris touches a cell phone the wifi bar goes up and the battery goed up
chuck norris can see air

cheesy huh?

Chuck Norris was born feet first, the docter said "Oh no oh no this is not good!" Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the docter in the face

Chuck Norris was born in a house built by himself!

Chuck Norris had a staring contest with a picture. And Won

Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke....that truck is now known as Optimus Prime.

Chuck Norris once won an underwater breathing contest with a fish.

Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.

Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.

Chuck Norris can light a fire by rubbing two ice-cubes together.

Dr. Steven Hawking questioned Chuck's defiance of gravity.............now look at him.

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Credits go to Whatzzer.

chuck norris doesnt stub his toe...he just destroyss the chair
chuxk norris can beat himself in a fight
chuck norris can set a fire ant on fire through a magnifying glass at night
chuck norris major in college is butt kicking
chuck norris bey is forbidden because it spins in both directions

Chuck Norris can defeat any beyblade with a Mad Gemios M145HF/S.

Chuck Norris doesn't need to hit the weak point of the Giant Enemy Crab to cause massive damage to it.

Chuck Norris can ban forum mods and admins.

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Spoiler (Click to View)

My Youtube Channel
Credit goes to bladeruler for the avi and sig.
Pokemon White Friend Code : 3568 2442 4668
Name : Delta

My friend told me this moments ago:

If Chuck Norris was playing Black Ops Zombie, he'd be one heck of a teammate. (I didn't get this, but I was hoping you Black Ops addicts would)

Chuck Norris doesn't walk. He just makes the Earth roll and nobody notices it.

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You lost the game.

Spoiler (Click to View)

1. You can never win the game, you can only lose.
2. You lose when you think about it.
3. Once you lose, you must say "I lost".
4. Don't believe this is real? Google "You just lost the game" and see.
5. Google "the game" will just let you see a pic of some dude CALLED "The Game".
6. Spread the word.

My friend told me this moments ago:

If Chuck Norris was playing Black Ops Zombie, he'd be one heck of a teammate. (I didn't get this, but I was hoping you Black Ops addicts would)

Chuck Norris doesn't walk. He just makes the Earth roll and nobody notices it.

Your friend is saying you won't lose, someone who has never played the game should get that joke.

chuck norris built rome in a day.
chuck norris hears sign language.
Chuck Norris' iPod came with a real charger instead of just a USB cord.
When Chuck Norris had surgery, the anesthesia was applied to the doctors.
Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
Chuck Norris invented water.

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Spoiler (Click to View)

Credits :
Signature : Focus
Avatar : N0body (No pun intended)

My friend told me this moments ago:

If Chuck Norris was playing Black Ops Zombie, he'd be one heck of a teammate. (I didn't get this, but I was hoping you Black Ops addicts would)

Chuck Norris doesn't walk. He just makes the Earth roll and nobody notices it.

Your friend is saying you won't lose, someone who has never played the game should get that joke.

Ah OK thanks for clarification.

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You lost the game.

Spoiler (Click to View)

1. You can never win the game, you can only lose.
2. You lose when you think about it.
3. Once you lose, you must say "I lost".
4. Don't believe this is real? Google "You just lost the game" and see.
5. Google "the game" will just let you see a pic of some dude CALLED "The Game".
6. Spread the word.

No problem, I'd love Chick Norris as a teamate on Zombies.

Chuck Norris was asked to test a Nuke, he was scrached

Chuck Norris took an entire bottle of sleeping pills, it made him blink.

It is said that Chuck Norris's blood can ressurect a person, to bad he never bleeds.

When you look up Chuck Norris on Google it says that it couldnt search for Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris searches for you. Suggestions: 1 look up another person fast. 2 hide before he finds you.

These are ones a couple of friends of mine made up while looking up Chuck Norris in computer class. except for the last one.

http://www.google.com/search?q=Chuck+Norris&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&hl=en&client=safari

ya Thresher thats the one my friends found it by accident but it was funny

Chuck Norris had a staring contest with Medusa and won.

Chuck Norris can win the game.

Chuck Norris watched the Exorcist....... alone.

Told by my friend yet again. (He has a lot of them, but he's a lazy one.)

---

You lost the game.

Spoiler (Click to View)

1. You can never win the game, you can only lose.
2. You lose when you think about it.
3. Once you lose, you must say "I lost".
4. Don't believe this is real? Google "You just lost the game" and see.
5. Google "the game" will just let you see a pic of some dude CALLED "The Game".
6. Spread the word.

Chuck Norris is also a raging homophobe and political bigot.

Still think he's awesome?

Spoiler (Click to View)

Everyone is a bigot, it's just a mater of whether or not you agree with him. If he was a carp bigot you wouldn't have posted anything.
"Moreover, if one is homophobic, that is, suffering from a phobia as one would suffer from claustrophobia, then the homophobe cannot help himself and is therefore suffering from a mental disorder, perhaps one that is the result of his genes. Consequently, calling someone homophobic is tantamount to making fun of the handicapped, unless of course the accuser is himself homophobic." - Frank Beckwith.

I don't think you realize how very little sense you're making.

And you mistake me for someone else if you think I wouldn't have said anything, regardless of what type of prejudices he might have.

Also, for the record, I find it hilarious that you're implying, by posting that quote, that I, a comfortably and completely openly gay man, am homophobic.

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Chuck Norris's e-mail adress is Yahoo@ChuckNorris.com

Only Chuck Norris can dislike on Facebook

Chuck Norris has yet to be entirely pissed off. Why? Because we would call that event "The Apocolypse"

The original "300" was a movie based on Chuck Norris' victorious stand against 10,000 persians. 300 was his rkps(roundhouse kicks per second).

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Spoiler (Click to View)

My Youtube Channel
Credit goes to bladeruler for the avi and sig.
Pokemon White Friend Code : 3568 2442 4668
Name : Delta

I don't think you realize how very little sense you're making.

And you mistake me for someone else if you think I wouldn't have said anything, regardless of what type of prejudices he might have.

Also, for the record, I find it hilarious that you're implying, by posting that quote, that I, a comfortably and completely openly gay man, am homophobic.

You claimed Chuck Norris was homophobic, thats who the quote was for. I've know for years that you are gay, why the hell would I refer to you as homophobic? If this thread were about any openly gay bigot, you would not have replied in the manner you did.
If you want to continue this discussion, pm me.