[/size]I had an idea about starting a fictional fan-based beyblade story. So here it is. Metal Wars 4D Beyblade. It is a fan-based series do not copy.

Metal Wars 4D Beyblade
Ryu the famous or infamous depending if your the hero or villian. Ryu was walking in to the research room of BeyHunter-X. Ryu has black hair[ similiar to L from death note, but neater] a brown leather jacket a dark blue shirt and black jeans with a bey carry case on the right side of his waist and on the left a uranus green 3 segment bey launcher with a meteor l-drago string launcher in it [kind of like Gingka does] and he wears black running shoes. In display spinning inside of Crystals from left to right are Ryuga's meteor l-drago, Damian's hell kerbecs, and killer peafowl. The boy next to him who is 17 years of age with black hair and glasses and a lab coat says," Woah! This spiral force is amazing. An execlent discovery! Thanks for the specimens for someone at the age of 14 1/2 your a great blader you might be able to use the 4th demensional move." "Thanks your not so bad yourself." "uh...thanks." *ring ring* ryu pick up the two way video phone and a voice comes from it saying," Ryu, Basalt Horugium is running a stray no one knows the current blader. I want you to persue it and ivestigate it." " Yes sir." Ryu departs and finds the bey spinning on the side of Tokyo Tower, yet nobody else does until Ryu chases after it until he is on the edge of Tokyo Tower then loads his Meteor L-drago in to his launcher and blastes him self to the top and L-drago returns to him. Ryu discovers what seems to be a human form of horugium that says, " I am Horugium. I shall unleash all beys true power and attack all bladers and in slave them." "Horugium I don't know what your deal is' but you can't in slave all bladers." "I can and I will." " Not if I stop you first." Both say, "3, 2, 1, go shoot." "Now L-drago finish em off." " I shall push back." "Special move dragon wind current." Three lung dragons race in to the sky they spin around in a circle and a tornado comes out from L-drago that controls the larger tornado around they conect only 6 inches above the bey. Basalt Horugium attacks, but has no effect then Horugium shouts," dark move Horugium flash wave. Black and purple colored circular waves emit from the bey ang expand. Ryu says, "You have your own move like me and L-drago." "Yes, and i created it without a blader." the dragon wind current over powers easily. Then Basalt Horugium was pushed back and circled the top of Tokyo Tower wildly. Horugium disapeared an avioce shouted after a clap of thunder (suprisingly the skies were clear before this), "Dark move Horugium eternal darkness shower." Horugium rose out of it's bey and a black hole came out of Basalt Horugium black colored ecltricitysurged around and through the bey and through the field and L-drago purple colored plasma surged from Basalt Horugium and time froze, but the viewers didn't. Ryu said, "L-drago won't survive this now dragon wi..." "Ryu this is my battle let me handle this when I tell you to use the king move." " got L-drago." Horugium said, "What's the king move," " the ultamite move is more powerful than the ultamite special move, but the king move is more powerful tha the strongest specail move."You bluffing!" "Maybe maybe not." the two beys fought at full strength and L-drago, "Now, Ryu now," "Okay, King move over heat dragon over Drive. With this I will stop all those who use beys for evil." A red ring sretched over 1.9 killometers and red plasma sparked over both beys then as L-drago move so does the ring and crashing into his oponents bey then the ring stopped as L-drago enterred the airand crashed down as a red comets tail engulls it execpt the tail is made of the red plasma then the collision causes an explosion and when the light from the plasma explosion clears L-drago is the last one spinning and A bird comes out of Basalt Horugium and The Sky Clears and every thing goes back to normal and it is enclosed in crystal Ryu takes the elevator down and a little kid says, " I saw what you did up there your a hero you know." Ryu replies ," I'm anything but a hero kid I'm a bey hunter for BeyHunter-X; tell ya what here's my card contact me if you need help with anything." Ryu puts his hand on his head and rubs his head. the little kid says, " Okay mr." Ryu leaves a explains everything to the 17 year old with the glasses and lab coat. higher up contacts Ryu and the voice on the video phone says, " Good work Ryu keep this up and you'll get promoted." "yes sir."

that my ch.1 if any one has any suggestions let me know and you can post your fan made stories here just post the title with it and ch. don't copy mine and the 4D isn't the same it means 4 demensional or 4th demensional. Fan made only.
Metal Wars 4D Beyblade ch.2

Ryu was walking in to the research room from last time wich is a labratory setting with a computer not a lab (its complicated). On his right there in a white hall way he sees the kid from last time, " Whaa..what are you doing here kid?" "you told me if i ever needed help to contact you mr." "Okay, make it quick kid." "Mr. you see there is someone destroying beys." "that i cannot stand for, nor help you. It's way to easy. You'll get to watch thier bey get destroyed in one hit i won't even use a special move." "You'd really do that for us mr." "Sure i won't stand for the misuse of beys." "thank you mr." they walk in to the room and the 17 year old with glasses and a lab coat says, " Ryu, this is amazing the spiral power is going through the roof thanks to the newest specimine. By the way I've found a pure version of Basalt Horugium and a snipe launcher works just like a light launcher also a 3 segment launcher grip." "Thanks um what was your name again?" "I didn't tell you just call me Dr. Kishi." "Got it." a buetiful girl walks in to the Research room. She has long pink hair a blue short sleeve shirt and black shorts only three 1/2 inches above her knees. she says ," Hi. I'm a new hunter here my name tsuki. I hope to be asigned a lot of missions here." Ryu replies," Hi I'm Ryu an expert hunter all th specimes here are my work. I hope to see you here alot." Tsuki replies, " thank you." Dr.kishi says," Hi. this cheap lab setting is mine because i can't get a grant for a real lab, butas you can see i can make do and have done so. You may adress me as Dr.Kishi and i actually have a doctrine."Ttsuki says ,"very impressive." Ryu's digital comunicator starts ringing and ryu recieves an okay for helping the kid. Ryu heads to the street battles and he finds a guy acting like a jerk with his bet counter scorpio downforce 145 ball tip who's nick name is desert ad desert says, "so you came here for another beating half pint. well i'll break your bey further.' the kid says, " I'm not alone this time jerk. I brought a beyhunter from beyhunter-X." Ryu says " you mean this is trhe loser who's been bothering you man this guy is totally weak." "that's the guy Ryu." desert says "i heard that you punks let me teach you so maners." ryu responds, " I refuse to learn maners from an idiot who lacks proper ediquette himself and is a loser at life." "that's it I'm going to beat you to a pulp learn to respect power." "How about you learn to respect others." both gather around the bey stadium and say," 3,2,1 go shoot!" desert says, "ha your l-drago won'nt reach me in time." Ryu says, " you can't brag specailly when your afraid and you have nothing to brag about to begin with just how fat your ego is." "why you!" "scorpio attack. ha ha ha your getting creamed." look again those spark are your metal wheels shavings your destroying your bey." "check it my bey has a specail ability i modified the metal wheel it auto repairs." "you tuely are a loser. prepare for defeat. uh... you bore me. lets go l-drago." desert responds "huh?" counter scorpio is sent flying and desert says , "what you split it in half and a clean cut in one hit and you didn't cheat just who are you." Ryu says, " My name is Ryu you don't need to know anything else ecept i beat you." the kid Ryu helped says,"here it's not much but, here it's my fllame sagitario claw 145 eternal sharp i built it after i saw kenta yumia fight regie on t.v." Ryu replies, "a broken bey i'll treasure it forever really i will. Thank you." the kid says also i got this for you i foun this on the street." Ryu responds , "thanks this is a quetz sub licene card thak you i cant get a quetz bey and the new." "your welcome mr. Ryu it's the least i could do." "Thanks kid I'll see you around and what's your name any way?" "It's Hiryu sir." "see you Hiryu." Ryu left and got his quetz bey when he arived at the research room Dr. kishi said Ryu don't expect a call it was a simple request. I handle those here 20,000 bey points you haven't used your bey pointer in a while this will help in your next tournament." Ryu noticed a tv was installed and said, " When did we get the tv." "just watch Ryu," was Dr. kishi's responce. an ad came up an blader DJ said,"Excitecd well you should be. It's finally here the first ever yomi o yomi no ha tournament. The role of this tournament is to be the best in the gothic style stadiums all is not clear yet but you get to battle for the chance to defeat the king of the underworld. Sposered by shadow beyblading," Dr. kishi says," Ryu do you know who they are? No time there goal is to resurect the king of the underworld. I know I've spyed on them four two years. Ryu you must enter the tournament and defeat the king of th under world there will be qualifiying tournaments you must eliminate all the bladers this way they can'y get thier spirits drained this is a million times worse than what Ryuuga did they're actually draining thier spirits to create hive mind for those who survive. That's the real king the under world." ' Chill out. I know all that I was planing on entering." "Thanks Ryu you are th greatest blader of all time." "Dr. Kishi how would you like to be Basalt Horugium's blader it's extreme defense and wieght will give you an edge." "Thanks Ryu I can now enter as well." "You werev fit to be a blader that's why you research them." "Ryu I geuss your right." "Thanks." Tsuki walks in and says,"check out my bey it's earth virgo gravity ball 145 ball sharp. I'm enteringas well." Ryu say."It's setteled then when we meet again we shall be victorious and will be on our way to the top and even though our bey may break shater or worse they will never stop spining and our bey spirit will remain strong and endless if they try to take it they wil fail and be defeated." everyone says, "agreed."

to be continued....
let's just say that this is the worst story i ever read(not trying to be mean)

1.lots of grammar mistakes you even know how to spell?
3.lots and lots of run-on sentence that needs fixing

Thanks I'll try to double check my next one for mistakes. I really should be more careful.
so the three friends set off the battled at several tournaments. Ryu had almost 500,000 bey points.he met up with dr.kishi at the next tournaments however an hour after anyone lostthey passed out they where stealing there bey spirits they al woke up in a couple of days, but were unable to pick up a bey.Ryu,"said hey dr. kishi what do you think will happen when i bet the blader spirit they need?" Dr.kishi said,"tell enter a coma along with anyone they beat who is 20 ranks under them or more anyone who is ten ranks under will only suffer minor fainting spells." Ryu responded,"okay how about if i bet a legend blader?" Dr.kishi sighed and said,"sadly they themselves won't pasout whoever anyone they beat will enter a coma."..."for both of your questions this will only happen if you beat them in a must prevent the king of the under world from reviving it's japans under world filed with yokai and ayakashi do you know how many evil bladers there will be if this happens and that the king of tne under world will bring chaos in an atempt to rule the world."...Ryu replied,"whoah Dr. that's some heavey stuff." Dr. kishi sighed again," sure is." Ryu said,"wait thier taking the bey spirits before they take thier blader spirits." Dr.kishi agreed,"sadly yes." three minutes later the tournament began and Blader DJ anounced,"the first match will be between Atkatsuki Sora and Tsukikage Ryu. Cyber Pegasis vs. Meteor L-drago.Let the battle comence.3...2...1..GO SHOOT!!!!!." thier beys raced around the stadium and sora yelled,"now cyber go go go fire avelanche move." Ryu acepted his move read it and countered it."now L-drago counter."L-drago ran around the stadium andquickly hit soras bey." Ryu said,"KIng move!overheat dragon over drive."both bey burnt with plasma then L-drago stoped emiting plasma and jumped into the air the ring of plasma tha usually follows l-drago locked onto cyber pegasis and l-drago was in cased with plasma in the shape of a dragon head and crashed into cyber l-drago spun weakly and cyber was tosed out of the stadium and sora whispered,""then passed out and enterred a coma. sora's blader spirit was stolen and those of all bladers he beat 20 levels and iunder just as Dr.kishi said would happen. everyone rushed to sora's side and called an ambulance even blader dj helpe load sora onto the ambulance and said,"okay beyblade fans we all hope sora gets better and the winner is Ryu.uh..okay lets send sora something on behalf of the wbba. i asure you there is no direct link as of yet between the tournament and the coma victims well also supply the other victims with get well gifts."next is the beyblade dr. known only as Dr.kishi against Hagane Ginkga.3..2...1..GO SHOOT!!!" Ginkga said I'll give it my all here goes.pegasis!." Dr.kishi responded, "not so fast.horugium!." Ginkga said."speacial move big bang pegasis final drive."dr.kishi countered."horugium clockup, king move."a clock with two hands a pearde and the hour hand followed horugium around while the minute hand stayed implace in the twelve o'clock position pointed at Ginkga and when the hour hand made a clock wise cycle around the stadium and ended back up at the twelve o'clock position it hit pegasis and moved it to the side and the clocked glowed and the shining lightstopped every bey not at the aligned position and pegasis stped spinning then horugium returned to Dr.kishi's hand. Ginkga said,"hey you got some skills hold on let me get my bey." Dr.kishi said,"how come you didn't pass out...are you a legend blader my bad you can't be i researched the topic several times." Ginkga responded,"the losers passing out is wierd now that you mention it;sounds like someones a sore winner,hey i have an idea lets work togheter to get to the bottom of this." Dr. kishi replied,"okay here's my card."Gikga was amazed,"wow you actually have a doctrine in beyblade i thought that was just a nickname." Dr. kishi said,"thanks i thought my friends were the only ones who'd believe me." Ginkga said,"well it's good to make new friends." dr. kishi said,"yes,yes it is." blader dj said,"and the winner is the dr.Dr. kishi beats Ginkga."
still plenty of Grammar based mistakes, use MS word to type your story

Edit: heres chapter 1, done my way Smile

Metal Wars 4D Beyblade -Chapter #1
Ryu, the famous or infamous depending on weather you are a hero or villain. Ryu was walking in to the research room of BeyHunter-X. His black hair, styled in a rouge but neat way, glistened in the light. His outfit consisted of: a brown leather jacket, a dark blue shirt, black jeans, and black running shoes. His Beyblade equipment included: a bey carry case on the right side of his waist, and on the left a Uranus green, 3 Segment Launcher Grip with a Beylauncher-L in it. In front of him, three crystals displayed Ryuga's Meteo L-Drago II LW105LF, Daimian's Hell Kerbecs BD145DS, and Jack's Killer Beafowl UW145EWD, all three were spinning, with perfect harmony. The seventeen year old boy next to him with black hair, glasses, and a lab coat said," Whoa! This spiral force is amazing, an excellent discovery, thanks for the specimens, for someone at the age of fourteen and a half years, you are a Beyblader beyond your years!"
I replied, "Thanks, your not so bad yourself."
The boy then too replied, "Uh,...thanks."
*Ring ring* Ryu picked up the two way video phone and a voice came from it saying," Ryu, Basalt Horogium is running lose, no one knows the current Beyblader who is using it, I want you to pursue Horogium and investigate why it is running lose and who caused it."
" Yes sir." replied Ryu.
He departed, and found the bey, Horogium, spinning on the side of Tokyo Tower. Ryu then loaded his Meteor L-Drago in to his launcher and blasted him self to the top and L-Drago returned to him. Ryu discovered what seems to be a human form of Horogium that says, " I am Horogium. I shall unleash all beys true power and attack all Beybladers and enslave them."
Ryu exclaimed, "Horogium, I don't know what your deal is but you will only enslave the Beybladers of this world over my dead body!"
Horogium said in such a menacing way, "I can, and I will."
Ryu yelled, " Not if I stop you first!"
Then, both of them yelled, "3, 2, 1, Go Shoot!"
as soon as Meteor L-Drago left his launcher, Ryu yelled, "Now L-Drago finish him off!"
Horogium relpied in anger, "I shall push back."
Ryu yelled, "Not so fast Horogium, go L-Drago, Special move, Dragon Wind Current!"
Three dragons raced into the sky, spinning around in a circle, creating a large tornado. Then, Meteor L-Drago began to form a small tornado 6 centimeters above itself, connecting to the larger tornado. Basalt Horogium attacked, but has did not have any effect! Then Horogium shouts," Go Horogium, Dark move Horogium Flash Wave!"
Black and purple colored circular waves emit from the bey and expand.
Ryu exclaumed, "You have your own move like me and L-drago!?"
Horogium said, "Yes, and I created it without a Beyblader."

I just edited part of it, please use this as an example for your future chapters Smile
Thank you for your advice.It was really exciting reading your version.I was more Excited reading your edit than my original thank you.
Thanks, also, nice chapters, fix your grammar, spacing, caps, and usage of tense, then your story might be famous!
I should it's just when I start writting them or typing actually I kind of just rush it.It's just I'm eager to see my climax and then my ending.I try to put a great climax in each though not a climax to the story, but to the battle.Thanks again.
Oh I'll try to get another up next week or hopefully two. I want to make up for lost time.
there is something called proof reading, after you type, go over the story again, correcting mistakes, but i do like the story plot, keep it up, if you need, send the next chapter to me, I'll proof read it for uSmile
Metal Wars 4D Beyblade ch.4

The tournament was almost over. There were three matches left.The next match was Ryu vs. Johannes ,but Johannes wasn't there yet. Blader DJ just announced, "If Johannes doesn't arive in the next three minutes the match will go to Ryu!" Then Johannes Jumped down from the cielling and landed on his feet. Johannes got his bey out and Ryu did the same. Blader DJ said,"Huh...oh oh right. 3...2...1... go shoot!" Both beys were racing across the stadium . Ryu shouted, "Attack L-drago." Johannes said, "Triple Track Change." Ryu said," I'm through with this." L-drago was now directly underneath the side of Beat Lynx's metal wheel. "Now L-drago the ultamite special move that can only be succeed by the king and emperor moves, Dragon wind current!" Beat Lynx was wobbling, but Johannes used his special move, "Lynx fury!" Ryu countered over and over,"Why won't Lynx stop spinning? Do I really have to use the king move here? It just seems using the king of special moves here would be a waste.I mean such a weak Blader right?" Johannes said, "you know I heard that right." Ryu replied, "I know and I also know you won't passout Like other bladers. Because the organization I'm after needs you to defeat more bladers first." Johannes said, "Oh that's it what they need me to do because I'm a 4d system user I see then shall we let out our souls for this match and unleash all our bey spirit." Ryu replied, "That's a good idea." beams of light surrounded them and Beat Lynx's mode changed and Beat Lynx started bashing around L-drago untill L-drago was knocked in to the ceiling,but before it hit the ceiling it changed modes. L-drago started beating Beat Lynx. Ryu shouted, "Return to your original mode L-drago." the battle raged on they destroyed the bey stadium in...1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8...9...10...11...12...13...14 collisions..and on 15 destroyed the outer half of the stadium and made a sky light in the ceiling. Blader DJ screamed, " it your destroying this place there are still two more rounds!come on!" Ryu and Johannes both shouted, "Don't worry it will be! Haaaaaaaah!" Ryu was first to react and he shouted, "Overheat Dragon Overdrive!" A red ring appeared and the plasma appeared on both beys,but suddenly the plasma burst on L-drago and stopped burning on Beat Lynx. When the smoke cleared L-drago had evolved from Meteor L-drago into L-drago destroy gold armor version. The Red ring of Plasma appeared again. Ryu smiled and said, "Finish him L-drago." L-drago jumped in to the air and was encased in plasma. Then L-drago crashed into Beat Lynx who just landed out side the Stadium. L-drago returned to Ryu's hand and Ryu said to his bey, "Thank you L-drago." Blader DJ anouced, "Ryu Is the winner. Stay here for the next two matches. Huh there's been a Change of plans apperently the next competitor has for fitted." Ryu said, If there is only one more round then me and Dr. Kishi shall share the bey points." Blader DJ said, "That's fine with me."

To be continued.................................................................................................
Sorry I haven"y posted in a while I'll try to post a newq chapter this weekend.
(Mar. 01, 2011  7:10 AM)dragon-blader2 Wrote: Ryu the famous or infamous depending if your the hero or villian. Ryu was walking in to the research room of BeyHunter-X. Ryu has black hair[ similiar to L from death note, but neater]

Right there I gave up on reading.

#1: NEVER use other characters to describe yours. It just looks trashy

#2: If you don't even know whether he's infamous or famous, then don't use either.
Sorry about that I was younger and more ignorant at the time.
Let me just close this off by saying the main character fights until he gets to the underworld or yomi match and defeats the ruler of yomi. It's bey is a balance type between attack and stamina. It has a smooth metal wheel with spike and the clear wheel is four chains. The face bolt is blank and metal. The track is right wing 105 and the bottom is circle flat. "l-drago stopped spinning," said Ryu. then L-drago started spinning again and sliced in half underworld oni.

The end.