Beyblade story;heaven and the underworld merged

Poll: What did you think about my story?

Best beystory I ever read
25.00%
3
great story
0%
0
okay story
0%
0
I've read better
8.33%
1
bad story
58.33%
7
worst story ever
8.33%
1
Total: 100% 12 vote(s)
(Sep. 30, 2011  2:39 PM)BeybladerPotter Wrote: You know what? We aren't proud and mighty and all that. You just don't want to accept improvement. Well, we're just trying to help you. If you can't accept criticism, then get out! We're, once again, are just trying to help by offering our opinions and suggestions for YOU to improve. Stop ranting. We know he's just starting and that is why we give him this. So he can IMPROVE How the heck in the world are you going to improve if nobody would tell you what is wrong?! Don't you get it? Since he is new to this he is probably having troubles yes? He needs to improve right? How will he improve? That is what we're doing. Now stop being a jerk. We're just trying to help. If you don't want help, we won't post and you won't improve....EVER. You'll suck until you die without CRITICISM.

~Have a good day

~Sincerely, BeybladerPotter

hey i don't care i was trying to give my opinion anyway i want you to leave him alone he is new i have stopped doing that because i do not wight i am just trying to defend the little guy anyway i never said criticism was bad harsh is i have a strong sense of feelings unlike allot of u i was saying u all need to use manners instead of yelling at him for being not the best i stopped and will nor wright again unless im given an assignment to wright because of people like u put so much pressure on us cuz we want to live up to u and other writers but i stopped cuz u all seem to like to crush us if our 1st story and its beginning are not perfect or near perfect i was trying to do my best you all need to learn PATIENTS AND POLITENESS AND NOT BE MALICIOUS AND RUDE LIKE U ALL AND I AM NOT AT ALL SAD I STOPPEN I DONT LIKE THE IDES OF BEING LIKE U PEOPLE I NORMALLY USE MANNERS PATENTS AND POLITENESS BUT ITS NOT WORTH IT I AM GOING TO STOP DOING THIS I WILL NOT TALK OR TYPE TO U GUYS ANYMORE OR POST HERE
IM SO OUT PEACE [Image: images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSVZ9ASoNcrF7mm9qCu9wk...KsxRDQiE_A]
(Sep. 30, 2011  10:56 PM)strseeker105HFS Wrote:
(Sep. 30, 2011  2:39 PM)BeybladerPotter Wrote: You know what? We aren't proud and mighty and all that. You just don't want to accept improvement. Well, we're just trying to help you. If you can't accept criticism, then get out! We're, once again, are just trying to help by offering our opinions and suggestions for YOU to improve. Stop ranting. We know he's just starting and that is why we give him this. So he can IMPROVE How the heck in the world are you going to improve if nobody would tell you what is wrong?! Don't you get it? Since he is new to this he is probably having troubles yes? He needs to improve right? How will he improve? That is what we're doing. Now stop being a jerk. We're just trying to help. If you don't want help, we won't post and you won't improve....EVER. You'll suck until you die without CRITICISM.

~Have a good day

~Sincerely, BeybladerPotter

hey i don't care i was trying to give my opinion anyway i want you to leave him alone he is new i have stopped doing that because i do not wight i am just trying to defend the little guy anyway i never said criticism was bad harsh is i have a strong sense of feelings unlike allot of u i was saying u all need to use manners instead of yelling at him for being not the best i stopped and will nor wright again unless im given an assignment to wright because of people like u put so much pressure on us cuz we want to live up to u and other writers but i stopped cuz u all seem to like to crush us if our 1st story and its beginning are not perfect or near perfect i was trying to do my best you all need to learn PATIENTS AND POLITENESS AND NOT BE MALICIOUS AND RUDE LIKE U ALL AND I AM NOT AT ALL SAD I STOPPEN I DONT LIKE THE IDES OF BEING LIKE U PEOPLE I NORMALLY USE MANNERS PATENTS AND POLITENESS BUT ITS NOT WORTH IT I AM GOING TO STOP DOING THIS I WILL NOT TALK OR TYPE TO U GUYS ANYMORE OR POST HERE
IM SO OUT PEACE [Image: images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSVZ9ASoNcrF7mm9qCu9wk...KsxRDQiE_A]

Well, I wrote my first story here in fifth grade, and I got criticism. Unlike you guys, who either ignore that or flat out quit, I listened. And if you read a new thread here in "Your Creations" in a minute, you'll see what that's done for me.

TITAN out!
The comments in the first page are actually quite 'nice' and polite, if you look at them from a neutral point of view. I think we can indeed expect people to be able to use punctuation, and to know that paragraphs make a text look much better.
I would also like to ask, what is the english equivalent of 3rd grade? because i'm 12, so age is not an excuse, if you read my stories I have taken criticism and gotten better. people should not be protecting him, he should take the criticism in his stride and grow to a new level. we writers don't think we're better than new writers, the reason we post is because we see potential.
Third grade is about age eight or so. This is pretty bad, simply because you continue to fight criticism. The first complaints are still valid, but there are no transitions from one sentence to the next. That's what hurts your flow, along with a terrible plot. You can't jump from one sentence to another with zero description or closing out the first one. It never works. Before I get flamed, I've taken more "inflammatory" remarks and improved. Also, USE DEIKAILO'S CHARACTER!

Strseeker- Dude, get over it. Your story was terrible, and you got mad when someone pointed it out. Improve. (A lot.) Then we'll have better things to say. It's that easy. We will not sugarcoat your story. We will not tell you it is good if it sucks. If you don't like that, don't post a story, or make sure it's good enough so we won't say it sucks.
I agree, look at my story, I had my dad and friends point out mistakes in it. Now it's one of best. Criticism when based on helping is an AMAZING asset for a writer.