Beyblade burst: Titan (character contest)

(May. 15, 2021  8:48 PM)Strikegamerv6 Wrote:
(May. 15, 2021  8:21 PM)JJustice Wrote: Strikegamerv6 how do you like this chapter?

Could be better but still really good your on ur way!! (Btw you can call me Strike when your not pinging me)
Ok thx for the advice
Chapter 5 part 3

previously in beyblade burst: Titan


Jayden: I will JUSTICE JINX SWORD
(Justice comes charging at the other bey but it send it back flying)
Brent: hahahaha did I tell you it drains power
Jayden mind: woah this dude is crazy and that bey I don’t even knows it’s name not to mention my stamina is so bad right now
Justice: are you scared Jayden
Jayden: huh is that you talking Justice
Justice: yes it is now answer me are you scared
Jayden: well YES I am scared what if you get destroyed I don’t want that to happen
Justice: then do you want to win
Jayden: YES I just don’t know how
Justice: well all you have to do is believe now let’s win this
Brent: I’m waiting
(Unknown bey attacks Justice)
Justice/Jayden: LETS WIN
Brent: YES a worthy opponent to destroy BRATER
Jayden: COUNTER THAT
(Justice doges Braters attack)
Brent: *Gasp* yes yes now WICKED TITAN BLAST
(BRATER charges at Justice)
Jayden mind: I-I don’t k-Know what t-to do
Justice: Jayden remember we have to win you can’t let fear get to you
Jayden mind: yes your right we have to win
Jayden: JUSTICE JINX WHIP
(Justice burst)
Jayden: w-what
Brent: it’s point less to stay here *leaves*

Strikegamerv6 is this better?
(May. 16, 2021  11:09 PM)JJustice Wrote: Chapter 5 part 3

previously in beyblade burst: Titan


Jayden: I will JUSTICE JINX SWORD
(Justice comes charging at the other bey but it send it back flying)
Brent: hahahaha did I tell you it drains power
Jayden mind: woah this dude is crazy and that bey I don’t even knows it’s name not to mention my stamina is so bad right now
Justice: are you scared Jayden
Jayden: huh is that you talking Justice
Justice: yes it is now answer me are you scared
Jayden: well YES I am scared what if you get destroyed I don’t want that to happen
Justice: then do you want to win
Jayden: YES I just don’t know how
Justice: well all you have to do is believe now let’s win this
Brent: I’m waiting
(Unknown bey attacks Justice)
Justice/Jayden: LETS WIN
Brent: YES a worthy opponent to destroy BRATER
Jayden: COUNTER THAT
(Justice doges Braters attack)
Brent: *Gasp* yes yes now WICKED TITAN BLAST
(BRATER charges at Justice)
Jayden mind: I-I don’t k-Know what t-to do
Justice: Jayden remember we have to win you can’t let fear get to you
Jayden mind: yes your right we have to win
Jayden: JUSTICE JINX WHIP
(Justice burst)
Jayden: w-what
Brent: it’s point less to stay here *leaves*

Strikegamerv6 is this better?

Getting better try making the chapter focus on other things not just one battle, also make it so that one battle kinda has a point if you look at my chapters all the battles have a point, But other than that looks good
(May. 17, 2021  2:20 AM)Strikegamerv6 Wrote:
(May. 16, 2021  11:09 PM)JJustice Wrote: Chapter 5 part 3

previously in beyblade burst: Titan


Jayden: I will JUSTICE JINX SWORD
(Justice comes charging at the other bey but it send it back flying)
Brent: hahahaha did I tell you it drains power
Jayden mind: woah this dude is crazy and that bey I don’t even knows it’s name  not to mention my stamina is so bad right now
Justice: are you scared Jayden
Jayden: huh is that you talking Justice
Justice: yes it is now answer me are you scared
Jayden: well YES I am scared what if you get destroyed I don’t want that to happen
Justice: then do you want to win
Jayden: YES I just don’t know how
Justice: well all you have to do is believe now let’s win this
Brent: I’m waiting
(Unknown bey attacks Justice)
Justice/Jayden: LETS WIN
Brent: YES a worthy opponent to destroy BRATER
Jayden: COUNTER THAT
(Justice doges Braters attack)
Brent: *Gasp* yes yes now WICKED TITAN BLAST
(BRATER charges at Justice)
Jayden mind: I-I don’t k-Know what t-to do
Justice: Jayden remember we have to win you can’t  let fear get to you
Jayden mind:  yes your right we have to win
Jayden: JUSTICE JINX WHIP
(Justice burst)
Jayden: w-what
Brent: it’s point less to stay here *leaves*

Strikegamerv6 is this better?

Getting better try making the chapter focus on other things not just one battle, also make it so that one battle kinda has a point if you look at my chapters all the battles have a point, But other than that looks good
K thanks what do you think of the characters so far
There really good. Try showing more character growth
(May. 17, 2021  3:39 PM)Strikegamerv6 Wrote: There really good. Try showing more character growth

im having a charaector contest do you wanna join?
(May. 17, 2021  3:50 PM)JJustice Wrote:
(May. 17, 2021  3:39 PM)Strikegamerv6 Wrote: There really good. Try showing more character growth

im having a charaector contest do you wanna join?

Sure, But I thought my character was already in?
(May. 17, 2021  4:06 PM)Strikegamerv6 Wrote:
(May. 17, 2021  3:50 PM)JJustice Wrote: im having a charaector contest do you wanna join?

Sure, But I thought my  was already in?

ok what character are you going to enter with
Penoki Anderson
ok i need a little more info
(May. 17, 2021  4:13 PM)JJustice Wrote: ok i need a little more info

I will a bit later
(May. 17, 2021  4:14 PM)Strikegamerv6 Wrote:
(May. 17, 2021  4:13 PM)JJustice Wrote: ok i need a little more info

I will a bit later

ok im gonna get some more peaple ready
Name: Bob Madal
Bey: Bonzai Banana.
He is Ghasem's little brother and has a fiery spirit. He wears a yellow cape, (Like a Banana)
His bey has the flying gimmick.
name: shun kazami
bey: black system
like and dislikes: he loves battling and dislikes evil people like Brent or Trent
what hes like: hes very out going and loves battling but sometime he has a dark secret
special moves: black overdive black sword and black whip

ok ok let me right all these names down

name: Runo kazami
bey: attack render
gender: female
siblings: shun kazami
what shes like: likes to stay inside and is very smart
likes and dislikes: likes boys dislikes bully
age:: 11
her and shun are twins shun is older by 1 hour

preview for chapter 6

Damian its alright man
Jayden: i-i lost *yells* I LOST
Damian mind: wooah im sorry dude
*character
ok thanks (burns with anger inside because of and idiot mistake*
Name: Penoki Anderson
Bey Name: Aqua Perceus Giga Diminsion'
Gender: Male
Age: 14
Personality: Loves battling! And he is very caring in battle he is one of the nicest people around. He loves pulling little pranks!! But he always makes sure everyone is ok with it.
Bey Gimick: Rubber Defense blades and Metal attacking blades!!
(May. 17, 2021  5:00 PM)JJustice Wrote: ok thanks (burns with anger inside because of and idiot mistake*

np
ok thanks is his bey name perceus or Diminsion
Perseus is the bey and dimension dash is the driver and Giga is the disk
ok so here is who we have so far we have Penoki anderson with perceus - strikegamerv6
we have bob mandal with bannah - USN
we have runo and shun kazami with there beys black system and attack render - JJustice

since you guys are waiting here is some music https://www.google.com/search?rlz=1CAUHH...EzvqZss2x7

here i how the tournament will work

its first to 3 points if you and your oppent both get 3 point at the same time is a draw and you both move on to the next round like here

mank: attack attack
manks bey attack at other bey mank has 2 points and his oppent has 2 point so if both beys burst they each get a point i twisted it a little bit
Chapter 6
Lost
Jayden: i-i lost.
Damian: it was only one lost calm down .
Jayden* gets up*
Damian mind: huh what is he doing.
Jayden: LET IT RIP.
Damian mind: thats Jayden hmm Drako has cracks from Brent trying to destroy him.
Damian: *heads to workshop* i need to fix this *an hour later* there no more cracks.
Damian mind: woah he is still training *smiles.
Jayden *picks up justice* i'm going inside.
Damian: Ok i'm headin home its getting dark.
(leaves and heads to his house )
Damian: hey dad
Dad: whats good bro
Damian: Ok don't ever try using bro talk got that
Dad: oh ok bro
Damian: *roles eyes*
Damian: *grabs Ipad*
Damian: * face times Jayden* come on pick up
(Jayden accepts the face time)
Jayden: hey
Damian: hey man your pretty chill i mean after loosing to brent
Jayden: yeah...
Damian mind: I SHOUD NOT HAVE SAID THAT
Jayden: well did you check the bey news
Damian: no what about it
Jayden: is shows the peaple going to the tournament we have some kid named shun kazami and runo kazami and some one name bob manedal and penoki anderson and a-a Legend
Damian: REALY WELL READ
Jayden: we have uh Xander Shakedera Wakiya Murasaki Lui Shirosagi Drum Koryu Delta Zakuro Sisco Karlisle and Rantaro kiyama
Damian: wow im so pumbed

To be Continued
(May. 18, 2021  3:50 PM)JJustice Wrote: Chapter 6
Lost
Jayden: i-i lost.
Damian: it was only one lost calm down .
Jayden* gets up*
Damian mind: huh what is he doing.
Jayden: LET IT RIP.
Damian mind: thats Jayden hmm Drako has cracks from Brent trying to destroy him.
Damian: *heads to workshop* i need to fix this *an hour later* there no more cracks.
Damian mind: woah he is still training *smiles.
Jayden *picks up justice* i'm going inside.
Damian: Ok i'm headin home its getting dark.
(leaves and heads to his house )
Damian: hey dad
Dad: whats good bro
Damian: Ok don't ever try using bro talk got that
Dad: oh ok bro
Damian: *roles eyes*
Damian: *grabs Ipad*
Damian: * face times Jayden* come on pick up
(Jayden accepts the face time)
Jayden: hey
Damian: hey man your pretty chill i mean after loosing to brent
Jayden: yeah...
Damian mind: I SHOUD NOT HAVE SAID THAT
Jayden: well did you check the bey news
Damian: no what about it
Jayden: is shows the peaple going to the tournament we have some kid named shun kazami and runo Kazama and someone name bob manual and penoki Anderson and a-a Legend
Damian: REALY WELL READ
Jayden: we have uh Xander Shakedera Wakiya Murasaki Lui Shirosagi Drum Koryu Delta Zakuro Sisco Karlisle and Rantaro kiyama
Damian: wow im so pumbed

To be Continued

Ok your getting way better just grammar mistakes and try making everything a bit slower take your time don't rush
(May. 18, 2021  4:47 PM)Strikegamerv6 Wrote:
(May. 18, 2021  3:50 PM)JJustice Wrote: Chapter 6
Lost
Jayden: i-i lost.
Damian: it was only one lost calm down .
Jayden* gets up*
Damian mind: huh what is he doing.
Jayden: LET IT RIP.
Damian mind: thats Jayden hmm Drako has cracks from Brent trying to destroy him.
Damian: *heads to workshop* i need to fix this *an hour later* there no more cracks.
Damian mind: woah he is still training *smiles.
Jayden *picks up justice* i'm going inside.
Damian: Ok i'm headin home its getting dark.
(leaves and heads to his house )
Damian: hey dad
Dad: whats good bro
Damian: Ok don't ever try using bro talk got that
Dad: oh ok bro
Damian: *roles eyes*
Damian: *grabs Ipad*
Damian: * face times Jayden*  come on pick up
(Jayden accepts the face time)
Jayden: hey
Damian: hey man your pretty chill i mean after loosing to brent
Jayden: yeah...
Damian mind: I SHOUD NOT HAVE SAID THAT
Jayden: well did you check the bey news
Damian: no what about it
Jayden: is shows the peaple going to the tournament we have some kid named shun kazami and runo Kazama and someone name bob manual and penoki Anderson and a-a Legend
Damian: REALY WELL READ
Jayden: we have uh Xander Shakedera Wakiya Murasaki  Lui Shirosagi  Drum Koryu Delta Zakuro Sisco Karlisle and Rantaro kiyama
Damian: wow im so pumbed

To be Continued

Ok your getting way better just grammar mistakes and try making everything a bit slower take your time don't rush
ok thx

CitrusNinja3 can you change this to your creation forum
Chapter 7
Treasure

Jayden: aww man
Damian: what are you frowning for we have legends coming to a tournament
Jayden: well you know that shun kazami who is coming to the tournament
Damian: yeah
Jayden: his dad is rich he definitely has a strong bey
Damian: hmmm okay
Jayden: well my moms calling me *ends face time*
Jayden: hey are you calling me mom?
Mom: you know that tournament your going to
Jayden mind: wow she actually cares about my tournament wow
Mom: well I'm sorry if I have not been supportive
Jayden: it’s okay mom *hugs mom*
Mom: anyway can you past the sugar
Jayden: sure *hands sugar*
Jayden: ok I’m going up stairs
Mom: ok
Jayden: *use stairs*
(Walks over to his room)
Jayden: *grabs Justice from the counter* we have to train to be the best
(Meanwhile
Penoki: PERCEUS
Perceus: now let us win
Penoki/perceus: AQUA WHIP
???: no how did you burst my bey
Penoki: just build a bond with you bey well I gotta go catch you on the flip side

USN your character is coming soon I’m still thinking of a role for him
And strikegamerv6 hope you like this chapter