On getting home: (Yes, I'm back for a little while) I don't really agree. Like in MAR, most of the time when someone knows they'll have to leave and go home eventually, they'll put it off for a long time to stay with the new people they've met. Normally it took 5 or 6 chapters for Ginta to do something that could improve their chances of getting him home, and even that's a stretch. And in real life: When you're nine or ten, and you're at a buddy's house, do you get your things ready to go early? Nope. Same applies here.
Beyblade VS Battle Strikers
Poll: What the heck do you think?
| Awesome |
|
40 |
| Great |
|
9 |
| Pretty good |
|
27 |
| Needs some work |
|
20 |
| Boo! |
|
21 |
| Total: | 100% | 117 vote(s) |
Good to see ya again, Tempy! 
If you don't mind me calling you that!
If you don't mind me calling you that!
(Dec. 11, 2011 8:58 PM)Temporal Wrote: On getting home: (Yes, I'm back for a little while) I don't really agree. Like in MAR, most of the time when someone knows they'll have to leave and go home eventually, they'll put it off for a long time to stay with the new people they've met. Normally it took 5 or 6 chapters for Ginta to do something that could improve their chances of getting him home, and even that's a stretch. And in real life: When you're nine or ten, and you're at a buddy's house, do you get your things ready to go early? Nope. Same applies here.
What I meant was something similar to why you said. 5-6chapters right? Well, there still must be somewhere hinting or some advancement in the story where they get closer to getting home, otherwise it'll be a loooooong story and suddenly:WARP. It doesn't make sense , does it? I guess it's still up to the author. I'm just saying that as a reminder that it would be good to do so once in a while
![[Image: powerangeryan.png]](https://i1176.photobucket.com/albums/x339/dommund/powerangeryan.png)
Ah, I see. I assumed you meant a more linear plot. Linear plots tend to bore people. If there's one incentive/objective and it never changes, things get boring.
Hmm, you right. Be unexpected! (not too much though, if you get what I mean)
Scenario 3 sounds the best it would be a good battle
Why not all3? But in a enjoyable arrangement where each scenario would get full attention
Say ZERO, you want to help me fix a few things on certain chapters?
(Dec. 12, 2011 5:43 AM)T. L-Drago 9207 Wrote:(Dec. 12, 2011 3:33 AM)Temporal Wrote: Ah, I see. I assumed you meant a more linear plot. Linear plots tend to bore people. If there's one incentive/objective and it never changes, things get boring.
Sorry.
Eh? Why are you apologizing? I was referring to the idea of the whole story being so serious, in other words, ZERO's idea. Well, my faulty interpretation of it, rather.
It's cool, my mentor.
Haha,and I'm ,no,not the mysterious strange guy, THE mysterious strange guy!Hehe. Who helps people,of course
O.....kay
(Dec. 11, 2011 3:01 PM)Z.E.R.O Wrote: Great story! However , I think that you cut down the usage of special moves as they are seen beige used every few seconds into the battle. Perhaps further describing the battle and then adding a Special attack once In a while to change the odds.
I also think Alister and Milly are getting to much attention.perhaps you should postpone Diana's battle for now and focus more on the other characters. In between , it would also be nice to have a cutscene that involves Team Phantom (or others),like: *blablabla*..... (paragraph) Meanwhile, (insert Team phantom plotting here) or something like that. Perhaps you could involve the other teams in some 'missions' or something to foil Team Phantom's plans and the gang could assist them. Diana joining the group would be a nice touch(plus some ~ connection with Zane).
But most importantly, every other chapter should involve the gang getting closer to going home indirectly or not(example: Team phantom is building a dimension transport machine to conquer the beyblade world,etc) I'll try to give more ideas. >•
Oh yeah, one more. How about the gang+(hopefully Diana) = Team Bey Strikers? Or perhaps Battle Bladers?
In that post I quote, are you insinuating for some romance between Zane and Diana?
Interlude: Team Phantom's New Plot!
Meanwhile, at the old warehouse, we see a meeting of Team Phantom members, and boy were they happy to see that the real Justin Kruger has returned, because they never really liked the impostor who stole his position as the leader.
"Alright guys, asides from battling the members of Teams Predator and Paladin, what are we going to do?", asks Kruger to his compatriots.
Riley Killjoy raised his hand and suggests, "How about we go have a pizza party, to celebrate your return?"
"Nah. I'm on a diet.", remarked the Team Phantom leader, before asking, "Anybody else has suggestions?"
Mordecai raised his hand, to which Kruger announced, "Mordecai will lay it on us!"
The right-hand man of Kruger cleared his throat and replied, "You know, I've been thinking, about those Beybladers. They've been making waves in our world, and I've got an idea where we'll travel to their homeworld and do the same!"
"Well, how the heck will we do that?", asks Kurumu snidely, "Inter-dimensional transport devices only exist in science-fiction films, comics, novels, video games, and such. Even if it's possible to make one, we wouldn't have the resources to pull it off!"
Mordecai responds with a cocky smirk, "Now who said anything about building a dimensional transport device, when we could use the powers of our StrikerSouls to tear open a portal to the Beyblade world?!"
Kruger thought for a moment or two before replying with a sinister smile, "Now there's an idea! Phantoms! We have a new scheme! We shall invade the world of Beyblades, and to prove the superiority of Battle Strikers!"
At that, the Phantoms cheered wildly, before their leader announced to them, "But for now, let us eat pizza!", as he pulled out his smartphone, and ordering pizza with it.
Riley said to Kruger, "But you said you're on a diet.", to which he replied, "Don't worry, Killjoy, even people on a diet can eat pizza once in a while, right? Right."
Minutes later, the pizza delivery guy arrives with 5 boxes of large pizza, one of each kind, and everyone is ready to eat. Justin paid the delivery guy, as he left. He then announced to his compatriots, "Now, let the eating begin!"
Interlude End
Meanwhile, at the old warehouse, we see a meeting of Team Phantom members, and boy were they happy to see that the real Justin Kruger has returned, because they never really liked the impostor who stole his position as the leader.
"Alright guys, asides from battling the members of Teams Predator and Paladin, what are we going to do?", asks Kruger to his compatriots.
Riley Killjoy raised his hand and suggests, "How about we go have a pizza party, to celebrate your return?"
"Nah. I'm on a diet.", remarked the Team Phantom leader, before asking, "Anybody else has suggestions?"
Mordecai raised his hand, to which Kruger announced, "Mordecai will lay it on us!"
The right-hand man of Kruger cleared his throat and replied, "You know, I've been thinking, about those Beybladers. They've been making waves in our world, and I've got an idea where we'll travel to their homeworld and do the same!"
"Well, how the heck will we do that?", asks Kurumu snidely, "Inter-dimensional transport devices only exist in science-fiction films, comics, novels, video games, and such. Even if it's possible to make one, we wouldn't have the resources to pull it off!"
Mordecai responds with a cocky smirk, "Now who said anything about building a dimensional transport device, when we could use the powers of our StrikerSouls to tear open a portal to the Beyblade world?!"
Kruger thought for a moment or two before replying with a sinister smile, "Now there's an idea! Phantoms! We have a new scheme! We shall invade the world of Beyblades, and to prove the superiority of Battle Strikers!"
At that, the Phantoms cheered wildly, before their leader announced to them, "But for now, let us eat pizza!", as he pulled out his smartphone, and ordering pizza with it.
Riley said to Kruger, "But you said you're on a diet.", to which he replied, "Don't worry, Killjoy, even people on a diet can eat pizza once in a while, right? Right."
Minutes later, the pizza delivery guy arrives with 5 boxes of large pizza, one of each kind, and everyone is ready to eat. Justin paid the delivery guy, as he left. He then announced to his compatriots, "Now, let the eating begin!"
Interlude End
Great idea!
You mean the ZaneXDiana thing?
I meant the Phantom plot. For the ZaneXDiana thing,I thought it would just be nice to have 2 dimensions collide,haha. The destroyer of worlds, Decade the Bey-Striker!
Oh, I gotcha then
They make a good pair(Fire'n'Ice!!) . They also soothe each other(Fire'n'Ice!!). Fire melts ice, ice then melts to cool of fire as water
What about that part where you said "the destroyer of worlds, Decade the Bey-Striker"?
That was a joke about Kamen rider
Oh, okay!
Good luck on your story! Can't wait for the next chapter!
I'll see what I can do!